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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26652646">Broken Carrier</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chameleon777/pseuds/Chameleon777'>Chameleon777</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Deep Space Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bullying, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Fear, Genetic Disorders &amp; Abnormalities, Genetic Engineering, Infertility, Lies, Loving Marriage, Pain, Promises, Starfleet, Torture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:20:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>82,722</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26652646</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chameleon777/pseuds/Chameleon777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Approximately seven years after the end of the Dominion War, Elim Garak and Dr. Julian Bashir have been enjoined for nearly six years and are living on Cardassia Prime where Julian works in the Capital’s hospital while Garak is involved in unspoken government work. They appear to be a very productive, very happy couple…but is all really well? Because of his illegal enhancements, Julian has been a Carrier; in other words, he has the parts to produce and carry children. Unfortunately for him, having such parts also come with complications nobody foresaw coming and Julian must not only come to terms with the complications, but also accept that he is not alone in dealing with his sorrow...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julian Bashir/Elim Garak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Symptoms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Author's Note: This story was inspired by 'Alone, Together', a multi-part series written by Matt Campbell for the Sid City Social Club. I didn't borrow anything from Matt's series, but the sheer beauty of his work inspired me to make some lovely works of my own including this one.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Cardassia City – 2383</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Julian Bashir-Garak was approaching his 42<sup>nd</sup> birthday and he was content...well, mostly content.</p><p> </p><p>Cardassia had taken heavy losses of structure and life in the Dominion War, but they had rebuilt to a point where life was again comfortable. Starfleet, however, was not to thank for that simply because the Federation had abandoned Cardassia to themselves when it became apparent that the war-torn nation would not join the Federation as expected. Not everyone, however, had agreed with such a decision.</p><p> </p><p>All he would ever be, despite serving in the war, was a Lieutenant with the post of Chief Medical Officer at Deep Space Nine and it was enough until suddenly it wasn't. The departures of Sisko, Miles, Odo, Jadzia, Worf, and Garak from his life had left him with an emptiness that none could fill, not even Ezri. God knows she had tried, Julian thought as he worked at a computer in the capital's hospital that day. He hadn't found contentment with Ezri and she had eventually left for greener pastures too.</p><p> </p><p>A beep indicating that a command was followed pulled Julian from his memories and he sighed before gazing fondly at the gold band that adorned his left ring finger. Everything was different now, but he wasn't unhappy. He had found happiness nearly six years ago when he and Elim Garak had enjoined in a ceremony hosted in Garak's garden; a garden that was now part of the residence they now shared.</p><p> </p><p>Simple blue scrubs, a modest undershirt, and sneakers now adorned Julian's body in place of the Starfleet uniform and pips he wore while still in Starfleet. He had endured a battle in trying to come back to Cardassia to help in the relief efforts, as they didn't want his kind being involved with potentially dangerous aliens, but Julian had admitted that he was going to go whether or not he got their permission. Starfleet had responded by shifting his status to being a member of the Interspecies Medical Exchange and revoking his rank, as he would have no need for it until he came to his senses.</p><p> </p><p>Instead of cowtowing to what Starfleet had expected of him, Julian had accepted the post in the Exchange and had resigned from Starfleet. He had traveled to Cardassia on his own expense and had worked as a volunteer in clinics seething with homeless, injured, anxious, starving Cardassians who had been displaced by the war until his work had been noticed by the capital's Chief Medical Officer, a Dr. Kelas Parmak. Dr. Parmak had taken him on as a mentee and they had quickly become friends.</p><p> </p><p>It was also Kelas who had reconnected him with Garak and the rest was history. Julian and Garak had quickly embarked on a courtship according to Cardassian customs and were quite happy together.</p><p> </p><p>Pain suddenly shot through Julian's body as he checked the computer, seeing if it was one of his medical orders being followed or a message from his mate. A concerned expression crossed the man's face when the pain did not ease and so he retreated to the cot in the room, sitting on it in hopes that it would ease the pain. It was a sudden, frightening experience and he didn't know what to do about it.</p><p> </p><p>“Taking a break, Doctor Julian?” the kind, intrigued accent of Dr. Parmak suddenly filled the room.</p><p> </p><p>The pain continued to worsen and Julian doubled over, tears pricking his tired eyes as he tried desperately to breathe through the intensity of it, “Doctor Julian?” Dr. Parmak spoke worriedly.</p><p> </p><p>A pair of hands suddenly took hold of him and Julian felt himself being eased down on to the exam bed, “Kelas, I'm <em>supposed</em> to be working...” he protested groggily. “I'm sure it will go away...”</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Parmak's eyes widened in shock as he saw blood on the crotch area of Julian's pants, “Doctor Julian, you are bleeding abnormally,” he spoke worriedly. “<em>Please</em>, allow me to examine you.”</p><p> </p><p>For once in the nearly seven years he had worked under Kelas's tutelage, Julian found he had nothing to say. He simply submitted to the exam and even allowed Kelas to get him a clean pair of pants.</p><p> </p><p>“The news is <em>not</em> good, my dear friend,” Kelas spoke as he eyed the scanner. “Not good at all.”</p><p> </p><p>Dread filled Julian as he listened to Kelas tell him, in gentle words, the results of the scan he had done.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you wish me to contact Elim?” Kelas asked in a quiet voice, frowning at his friend's obvious distress. “I know this must be upsetting for you, Doctor Julian, and you <em>need</em> support...”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, staring at the ceiling as he recounted the daily schedule that he and Elim had discussed that morning over breakfast. He hadn't felt well then either, but he had forced himself to eat and drink and go to work per their established routine so that Elim wouldn't feel the need to modify his schedule.</p><p> </p><p>“No, he's got meetings all day today,” Julian spoke quietly. “It wouldn't do for him to skip out on...”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas looked uneasy, but didn't argue because he knew, from Julian's constant ramblings, that Garak's knowledge and expertise in various matters were in high demand by all authorities across the planet and that Julian took pride in his husband's popularity. Still, Julian's anxiety was troubling.</p><p> </p><p>Julian was so caught up in grief and anxiety that he didn't notice that a nurse had come in with a clean pair of Terran scrub pants and a simple set of boxers that would suffice as a replacement clothes. The hospital always had some clothing around for Julian and it had been that way ever since Julian had started working at the hospital. Garak had made each item of clothing lovingly and full of pride in his Human mate for going beyond Federation expectations and truly making a life for himself.</p><p> </p><p>Kelas murmured a quiet thank you to the nurse before dismissing her from the room, “I had a nurse bring you some clean clothes, but I want to stop the bleeding first,” he spoke gently. “All right?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, sitting up only briefly to discard his shoes, pants, and underwear so that Kelas would be able to work more efficiently. Kelas responded by grabbing a blanket off the shelf and dropping it over the man's nether regions to provide him with a sense of dignity and spare him some extra grief.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, I know you haven't been honest with Elim about this being your first concern about your body, Doctor Julian, but I do <em>hope</em> you will be honest with me,” Kelas spoke calmly. “I need a history.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian looked down at the blanket, sighing as his rugged hands caressed the blanket, “And how do you <em>know</em> I haven't been honest with Elim?” he asked nervously, his eyes filling with tears. “I've <em>tried</em>...”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you wouldn't be here alone and on the verge of crying if you had been,” Kelas replied simply.</p><p> </p><p>Julian sniffled, “He wants children so badly and I'm the Carrier, so I thought I'd be able to give that to him!” he spoke in a quiet, anxious voice. “We've tried and tried and we haven't even been successful at conceiving...”</p><p> </p><p>“Then perhaps it isn't you at all, but the flawed process by which you were made a Carrier,” Kelas spoke in a gentle voice, not wishing to judge his colleague harshly. “I can do a thorough exam, but it will take time.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian responded by laying down and gazing up at the ceiling, “Kelas, please just humor me,” he replied in a subdued voice, his eyes glistening with tears. “And don't put anything in the computer yet. Elim <em>will</em> hack it.”</p><p> </p><p>Nodding, Kelas proceeded to initiate another scan and also prepare for a more thorough examination of Julian.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Cold Encounter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was quite late when Elim Garak, serving in dual capacities as both a Legate and a Glinn for the rebirthed nation, finally arrived home from his day's work. He had gone without lunch or supper after endless meetings had kept him from being able to go to market or even to a replicator for food.</p><p> </p><p>Such an occurrence wasn't uncommon, however, and Julian usually had food waiting for him if he indeed had to work late. Julian himself was usually home long before and would often read before and after dinner before going to bed at a reasonable hour. It's what Garak had grown used to.</p><p> </p><p>As Garak entered the house, however, there were no smells of appetizing food or even Julian's scent in the air. The house was cold and at first glance, the fireplace hadn't been stoked or even activated.</p><p> </p><p>“Julian?” Garak called out in a concerned voice, wondering if his husband was simply pranking him.</p><p> </p><p>Silence was the only reply Elim got and his concern grew, as he had repeatedly warned Julian that it was not safe on the city streets after dark. As he moved into the kitchen, which was equally as dark and silent as the rest of the house seemed to be, something caught his eye...illuminated by the moonlight.</p><p> </p><p>A familiar form was seated on one of the stone garden boxes in the far end of the yard, but he wasn't dressed for the weather with only thin blue pajamas to protect him from the elements. Garak swore in Kardasi and quickly hurried into the yard, wondering if Julian was drunk or just being playful. The man could not hold his kanar to save his life and he had ended up drunk in the dirt before. <em>Perhaps</em>...</p><p> </p><p>The air bit sharply at Garak's scales, but he continued forward until he reached the form and saw that his Julian was hunched over the dirt, “Julian?” he asked in a clear, but affectionately soft voice.</p><p> </p><p>It was then that Garak noticed Julian holding Kukulaka in his arms. Julian’s head was down, his eyes were fixated on the dirt. Garak gently ruffled Julian’s hair to get his attention, which usually worked and resulted in a kiss. However, Julian did not respond this time...something was obviously wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“I've been searching the house for you, dear Julian,” Garak spoke in a concerned voice, frowning at the lack of response from his partner. “What on Earth are you doing out of our bed and outside in this cold garden? You’re <em>barefoot</em> and in flimsy Terran pajamas?! Really, what <em>scandalous</em> behavior…at least we’re in the privacy of our home.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, his tone unusually sad as he remained staring at the dirt, “I can't <em>believe</em> you still want me to wear your ring and share your bed after what happened today,” he replied in a sad tone.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?” Garak asked, deeply confused by Julian's high level of sadness. “I was at work today having meetings with the other Legates, the Detapa Council, and the Castellan. You were working at the hospital and helping others….Or were you?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian's gaze suddenly lifted from the dirt into the star-filled sky and Garak paused, seeing tears filling his mate's eyes, “I was, bit then I started to cramp...to bleed....it was so painful and unusual,” Julian's voice explained in a shaky string of words. “You know, Elim, that I'm a carrier and have the parts to carry a child. We've been trying for nearly six years and it hasn't happened for us. I’ve <em>always</em> been wondering <em>why</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>“My dear, come inside where it's warm,” Garak spoke, not caring that he was interrupting simply because it was so unusual and disturbing to see his mate so sad, withdrawn, so <em>very afraid.</em></p><p> </p><p>Julian offered no reply, so Garak continued on while shivering in response to the bitter night cold, “We can have some red leaf tea and talk about it,” he spoke calmly, his concern deep. “It's the end of the cold season and I don't want you to turn into a Human popsicle or get sick being out here too long. <em>Please</em>, my dear.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, but nodded and got up with Kukulaka in his arms. Garak noticed that his husband used the teddy bear as a shield as if trying to deliberately keep a distance between the two of them. It wasn't normal behavior and Garak knew he would nip it in the bud, but pressing Julian too fast and too forcefully would only prompt the man to shut down into a funk with his pain still burdening him.</p><p> </p><p>The two walked inside in silence, the physical distance between them more than Garak could personally handle. It was, however, a small, temporary sacrifice he was willing to make for his Julian's sake.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Heartbreaking Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Garak didn't waste time in activating the kitchen fireplace while Julian planted himself at the table in front of it, his feet numb and calloused from his walk in the cold garden. Once heat was flooding the kitchen and the back door was securely locked, Garak busied himself making a pot of red leaf tea.</p><p> </p><p>The tea was ready quickly and as Garak brought the cups over to the table, he noticed an expression of deep anguish and shame on Julian's face. Instead of commenting immediately, however, Garak arranged the cups of tea on the table: one in front of his seat and one in front of Julian's seat. Julian paid no mind to his tea and merely continued to cuddle Kukulaka in stony silence.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Garak claimed his seat at their family table, “The cold season ends tomorrow and I thought we might go to the market for some food seeds and starter flowers since we both have the day off of work,” he spoke in a calm tone he often used for dinnertime conversation, quickly finding that it wasn't working because Julian failed to react or respond. “My dear? Julian? Are you even listening?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” Julian responded, his pale face and dark eyes twitching in response to Garak's words before his entire expression morphed into one of anxiety and he let out a sigh, “Elim...I...I had a colleague run some scans on me during my lunch break because I wasn't feeling well,” he spoke in a hollow, yet steady voice. “What they found...was <em>troubling</em>....”</p><p> </p><p>Garak's eyes widened in shock and alarm, “Julian...you're not dying...are you?” he asked nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“No, but I'm going to need surgery in the next few days,” Julian confessed, seeing no point in sidestepping the issue further because he had given Kelas his word that he and Elim would discuss the issue even if it took until the scheduled date. “I told them to squeeze me into the schedule because the scans showed some growths in the organs I would use for...”</p><p> </p><p>Garak suddenly felt very upset, almost angry as he stared at his hurting husband in shock, “<em>Growths</em>?!” he replied, his tone upset and hurt. “You shouldn't even <em>be</em> a carrier! You’re only one because of the genetic engineering forced upon you as a child.. I knew <em>something</em> like this might happen to you ever since you told me you had these organs and the Federation planned on doing nothing to help you because of your illegal status! No wonder you chose to come to Cardassia!”</p><p> </p><p>Julian's expression softened slightly, but was still anxious, “Elim, <em>please</em>...” he replied in an anxious, but very soft voice because he didn't have the strength to yell back. “The surgery will explore the parts to see if they're viable and from what I've seen, they are most likely not. They’re structurally weak and trying to actually use them for reproductive purposes might prove…too dangerous.”</p><p> </p><p>“And that means <em>what</em> exactly?” Garak asked, suddenly feeling still, uneasy, and scared for Julian.</p><p> </p><p>Julian swallowed hard, as this was a conversation he had been dreading since he had first experienced unprotected intimacy with Elim on their wedding night. He had been around 36 at the time and hopeful.</p><p> </p><p>“It means...more than likely...that we'll <em>never</em> have biological children...at least not from me,” Julian spoke in a trembling, solemn voice as he sighed. “If you <em>really</em> want them, I’ll pay for you to get Carrier surgery…we might have to travel off-world for that…it’s expensive, but we’ll manage….”</p><p> </p><p>A scowl filled Garak's face, “Julian, stop <em>babbling </em>and take a breath before you pass out<em>,” </em>he replied firmly, a touch of concern in his voice.<em> “</em>I <em>already</em> told you I am not interested in having something else implanted into my body that will affect my ability to live. Since that implant was deactivated, I’ve been <em>paranoid</em> about having anything else…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian's expression immediately became apologetic as he remembered Elim's old implant, “I remember and I didn’t <em>mean</em> to trigger you, Elim.” he apologized in a soft, quiet voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m <em>used</em> to your personality by now, my dear...” Garak muttered quietly before a realization hit him and he gave Julian a hard look before scoffing, “You <em>already</em> gave permission for the parts to be removed, <em>didn't you</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, his expression neutral, “<em>Really</em>, Julian, I am your mate and you should have called me when you were having these tests done...” Garak spoke, an irritated sigh in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Julian replied, a quiet sigh in his voice. “Family....I know being able to be what Tain wasn't is important to you. Ever since we got married, you've talked about how me giving you children will bring you great joy and allow you to be a better father figure than he ever was. Really, I could recite the <em>whole</em> speech you've given about the subject by heart...”</p><p> </p><p>A scoff escaped Garak's lips as he offered an annoyed look, “My reasoning for wanting to be kept informed has <em>nothing </em>to do with Tain or what I've talked about in the past,” Garak replied indignantly, unimpressed with Julian's ignorance. “Even after nearly six years of marriage and all the intense communication we did during our courtship, you still can be quite <em>dense</em> sometimes. My God, Julian! I know you don’t mean to be frustrating, but <em>sometimes</em>…Do I<em> need</em> to spell it out in basic terms?!”</p><p> </p><p>“I don't understand...” Julian replied uncertainly, his expression full of confusion.</p><p> </p><p>Garak calmed himself from his angry state quickly, but he was still upset with Julian's ignorance, “I wish you had called me so that you wouldn't have had to bear this by yourself!” he replied in an angry voice that he often reserved for insubordinate staffers. “Medical testing and bad news can be scary for anyone! You’re not immune from fear and anxiety even being an Augment!”</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh, I'm dense. Elim cares to a point...at least to a point. </em>Julian realized, but chose to remain silent because he still wasn't fully sure to what extent his husband cared, “When we married, we agreed to the union for better or for worse...in sickness and in health,” Garak emphasized anxiously. “We <em>promised </em>to bear one another's burdens. I would have come straight from work to be with you!”</p><p> </p><p>A nasty thought suddenly crossed Julian's tired mind and he chose to share it as a response because it was how he felt, “And get more mockery thrown at you by your colleagues for having to tend to your silly, <em>overscandalous</em> Human spouse like he's a needy child?!” he asked cynically, his expression and tone reneging into an upset state. “I know being married to me hasn’t been easy for you, Elim!”</p><p> </p><p>Thunderstruck, Garak remained silent, his expression one of stone, “Every time we go out in public together, I hear the whispers....I see the stares....I'm even beginning to understand enough Kardasi to understand the unkind words!” Julian replied, his voice raising in anger and frustration. “To them, I’m just a <em>silly</em> Human who always hangs on of you and ignores social customs because I’m overly needy!”</p><p> </p><p>The two stared at each other in silence, their emotions high. Julian couldn't believe that he had spoken so frankly and Garak couldn't believe that Julian's anger was so intense. It was clear that it would be a <em>long</em> night, as this conversation was <em>far</em> from over, but the two needed a moment to breathe first.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Truth is Beauty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The kitchen was absolutely warm and for good measure, Garak stoked the fire before rejoining his husband at the table. Julian was clearly angry; they both were, and it needed to be resolved quickly.</p><p> </p><p>Garak was tired of Julian being mocked by his colleagues who thought the younger Human was silly, irrational, and nothing more than an exotic pet, but it was clear that Julian didn't believe he had anyone in his corner, “My dear doctor, I told my colleagues today that if they didn't stop mocking and gossiping about you in public and I know I’ve told them this before with no success…I would ensure that Castellan Maratt found out about their illicit activities...” Garak spoke firmly, suddenly smirking as he recalled his plan of revenge for if they didn't listen. “I've got evidence of all my colleagues behaving in a manner contrary to what the State expects of them....”</p><p> </p><p>Julian frowned, but he continued to brood because he figured Garak was being dramatic as usual and Garak chuckled, “Castellan Marratt doesn’t mind government workers having social lives, but he<em> does</em> expect anyone serving under him to behave properly at all times and I assure you, I have evidence that speaks a different story,” Garak explained cunningly. “Ah...about the Castellan.”</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Julian rolled his eyes at Garak's change of subject, as such behavior usually meant that hus husband wanted something from him, “Speaking of the Castellan, he and I did meet today and it ended with him <em>begging</em> me to bring you as a guest to his next monthly government dinner,” Garak explained in an enthusiastic voice. “He’s grown <em>fond</em> of your influence on me and wants to ask you questions about Human customs.”</p><p> </p><p>A confused expression crossed Julian's tired, pale face as he stared at his mate, “Elim,” he said, a quiet sigh in his voice. “I thought you avoided those things because you thought they were boring?”</p><p> </p><p>“It's tomorrow evening and I've <em>already</em> picked out what you should wear,” Garak replied, a coy smirk on his face as he pictured Julian on his arm, dressed to the nines as they socialized with the Castellan.</p><p> </p><p>An annoyed expression quickly filled Julian's face, “Elim, we should have discussed this before...” the rest of the lecture quickly died in his throat as the realization hit him that he was being hypocritical and he quickly sighed in resignation. “I'm <em>such</em> a <em>hypocrite</em>...lecturing you for doing something I've already done.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fortunately, dear Julian, I find your hypocritical behavior very <em>alluring,” </em>Garak replied, a smirk on his face and a sparkle in his eyes as he sighed a sigh of compassion. “And even if we can't have children and we end up being too old to adopt, we <em>still</em> have each other...”</p><p> </p><p>A frown suddenly crossed Garak's face as Julian gave no reply, “Don't we?” he asked nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“We do,” Julian promised softly, his sad expression softening, a sigh escaping his lips as he realized that Elim Garak took marital vows very seriously. “You mean you still love me even though I'm a broken Carrier who will lose the ability to give you a legacy? The surgery’s a certain thing; I just don’t know when it is. Once it happens…”</p><p> </p><p>Garak let out a scoff, as if anything would make up the difference if Julian himself was lost in the process of having a child, “As long as I don't lose you too,” he replied gently before suddenly looking official again. “When you have the surgery, you <em>do</em> realize I’m taking time off work and being with you? I will make sure you do <em>exactly</em> what you are supposed to and rest as much as you need to.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I <em>know,” </em>Julian admitted in a tone of mock resignation. “You’ll probably nursemaid me to death, but I wouldn’t expect anything less from my life partner. The surgery is supposed to be very routine and I might need to stay in the hospital for a few nights, but we can get you a cot easily because you are my spouse. There are always <em>risks </em>involved with such a surgery, of course...”</p><p> </p><p>A scandalized expression filled Garak's face as he scoffed indignantly in response to his husband's negativity, “You're <em>not allowed</em> to think that way, Julian,” he spoke firmly. “You have to think that everything will be all right and that you will wake up after the surgery with me watching over you as I usually do…”</p><p> </p><p>Again, Julian was quiet, so Garak pressed on in the same authoritative tone, but added a smile to so convey the proper meaning to what he was about to say, “My dear doctor...we will get through this <em>together</em> and while you're recovering, you can help me design the food and flower gardens we'll have in our backyard during the warm season.”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds soothing, but I may have times of sadness...times where I cry....where I swear…where I lament that I’m broken…” Julian responded, a slight smile playing at his lips as he sighed. “Are you sure you can put up with it and not end up wanting to poison me or strangle me in my sleep?”</p><p> </p><p>Despite the late hour and the seriousness of the situation, Garak made a sound resembling a scoff and a chuckle, “Really, Doctor, if I ever wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t be <em>that</em> obvious,” he replied in a coy voice, a smirk on his lips. “Using such simple, obvious methods to kill someone would be an insult to my past in the Obsidian Order! Besides, poison is <em>expensive</em> here and strangulation is too much of a messy business!”</p><p> </p><p>Julian stared at his mate wide-eyed, but Garak could see that the conversation was beginning to set in, “</p><p>“Remember the vows...we share the joys and the pain,” Garak chided gently, sighing affectionately as he began to realize that they had been talking for nearly two hours. “Our enduring love and how we show it to others can be the legacy we leave if nothing else, my <em>dear</em> doctor...”</p><p> </p><p>A yawn suddenly escaped Julian's lips, indicating that he too was tired and in want of rest, “The tea's cold and I've become tired talking about this,” he spoke, a sigh in his voice. “I'm reassured that you’re going to be there for me throughout all of this, but my energy's all gone.”</p><p> </p><p>Garak nodded, but didn't speak, so Julian allowed himself to ruminate briefly, “I didn't expect our life to suddenly get so hard and I'm grateful for you...for us,” the man admitted in a quiet voice.</p><p> </p><p>“My dear doctor, life with you will always be an adventure...but I wouldn't trade it for anything,” Garak spoke in a voice that indicated he was pleased to have pulled Julian from his grief even if only temporarily. “Now...let's go to bed and rest so we have energy for planning the gardens tomorrow. We can just let the tea get cold and have it for breakfast.”</p><p> </p><p>A genuine smile crossed Julian's face this time, a smile that he often wore when he and Elim sat with each other in the evenings discussing the schedule for the next day, “Elim, we <em>musn't</em> forget about Castellan Maratt's banquet tomorrow night <em>whatever</em> we do,” he spoke in a kind voice, indicating that he would try to endure such a boring, stuffy event for Elim's sake. “I'm sure whatever outfit you've picked for me will make me look absolutely stunning on your arm.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like a red rose in full bloom that I carry close to my heart for all to see, my dear doctor,” Garak replied in a gentle, pleased voice as he sighed. “You and me...the life we've built together....that is my legacy....one that I am proud of.”</p><p> </p><p>Garak suddenly stood and walked over to the still sitting Julian. He silently offered his hand to him.</p><p> </p><p>“It's really time we get some rest, my dear,” Garak spoke in a tender, lulling voice.</p><p> </p><p>Julian didn't hesitate; he accepted the hand and let Garak help him to his feet, “Lead on, my tender, loving gardener...the one who always brings me love and sunshine,” he replied in a kind tone.</p><p> </p><p>“Always and forever, my sweet red rose,” Garak spoke, love in his eyes as he stared at Julian.</p><p> </p><p>Garak led Julian out of the kitchen, leaving the cups of tea on the table untouched, “Do you think Kukulaka could be with us tonight, Elim?” Julian asked softly as they neared their room. “I need...”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Garak replied in a pleasant voice. “I'll go fetch him. You go and get yourself warm.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian retreated to the bed and once he was seated under the warm covers, all of which had been hand-sewn by Elim himself as a present for their first anniversary, he picked up the bottle of medicine that Kelas had given him to get through to the surgery. He unscrewed the cup-like lid and poured himself the recommended dose, unaware that Elim was watching intently with Kukulaka in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>know</em> you're watching,” Julian spoke calmly, not looking up. “It will stay pain and bleeding <em>until</em>...”</p><p> </p><p>Garak came to the bed and sat, staying quiet while Julian drank the dose and replaced the bottle on the bedside table, “Must have been Kelas himself who treated you,” he muttered softly, removing his shoes before he and Kukulaka got into bed and the bear was surrendered to its owner. “There you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kelas Parmak is my <em>supervisor</em> and he's one of the few Cardassian doctors I <em>trust</em>,” Julian replied simply, hugging Kukulaka close as he looked at Garak calmly. “Are you not going to shower?”</p><p> </p><p>Garak sighed, “We won't be doing anything <em>scandalous</em> tonight, my dear,” he spoke firmly, giving Julian a look. “I want you to <em>sleep</em> and when I'm sure you are asleep, I will do my nightly routine.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian obeyed and was careful to lie on his back so not to trigger more symptoms. Garak waited a few minutes before simply laying down himself, unsurprised when he felt Julian's hand grasp his own. Legate/Glinn Elim Garak didn't need a shower that night, but Julian Bashir-Garak <em>needed</em> reassurance...and Julian would most certainly get what he needed even if it meant Legate/Glinn Elim Garak had to forego a nightly shower. It was a small, reasonable sacrifice made in the name of love.</p><p> </p><p>The coming days, Garak knew, would be no doubt hard on Julian, but he wouldn't be enduring them alone.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Overwhelming Reality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Daylight came quickly to the Bashir-Garak household, but Garak wisely didn't force them to get up early as he did most mornings. Julian was clearly in need of comfort and even if Garak wasn't strong with his words, he could provide comfort simply by sitting in bed and reading some classic Cardassian literature while Julian slept cuddled up next to him with Kukulaka squashed between them.</p><p> </p><p>It was nearly eight in the morning by the time Julian stirred, but he merely woke and didn't make an effort to get out of bed immediately because the pain medication Kelas had given him had worn off in the night; he was hurting, uncomfortable, and hoping he wasn't bleeding again. Garak noticed him awake, but also noticed the pained expression on his face and got up without making him move.</p><p> </p><p>Julian quickly went back to sleep, overwhelmed by the pain and still exhausted from being in the cold garden the night before. Desperate to help his beloved feel better, Garak put in a call to Kelas at the hospital to see if he could get Julian more pain medication and then he made up a breakfast of hot scones, Moba jam, and red leaf tea on a tray so that his husband could stay in bed if he wished.</p><p> </p><p>“Julian, I made us a <em>delightful</em> breakfast,” Garak announced as he came into the bedroom with the tray only to find the bed empty with Kukulaka laying on the rumpled sheets. “Julian?”</p><p> </p><p>The sound of vomiting filled the air and Garak quickly set the tray on the dresser before moving towards the sound. His eyes widened in horror as he came upon Julian in the bathroom, trembling uncontrollably as he sat on the floor, hunched over the toilet as he lost the contents of his stomach. His face was pale and sweating and his normally neat dark hair was a wild mess. He was also crying.</p><p> </p><p>“The medicine's making me <em>sick</em>,” Julian spoke shakily, sighing. “I think it's out of my system...”</p><p> </p><p>Garak's eyes widened as Julian shakily got to his feet and nearly fell over, “Right, we can do a trip to the market <em>later</em> or we can order plants on the virtual market,” he spoke in a firm voice, taking Julian's arm in an attempt to keep him from falling over or passing right out. “<em>Back</em> to bed with you, my dear.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian didn't argue as he was led back to bed and settled between the sheets with pillows propping him up, “I'll rest and try to be well for this evening,” he spoke groggily. “I know how <em>much</em> it means...”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Really</em>, dear, if you're too sick to leave the house, I'm <em>not</em> going anywhere either,” Garak replied in a kind, but firm voice as he retrieved the tray and brought it over to the bed. “I'm going to stay here with you and make sure you're well enough to get through all of this. That's what I <em>promised</em> to do.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian slowly picked up a cup of tea from the tray and held it with both hands as he sipped it, purposely ignoring the scones because he had no appetite for food. Kelas had warned him that nausea and a lack of appetite were symptoms of the medication, but Julian had taken it anyway out of pure desperation to stop the pain and bleeding. Garak watched him intently for a few minutes before fishing a tablet off of the table on his side of the bed and planting himself on the bed beside Julian.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm going to start looking for plants on the virtual market,” Garak spoke calmly. “You're not eating...”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed weakly, “<em>No</em> appetite,” he confessed softly, finishing the tea. “I'm sorry, Elim.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>might</em> kill Kelas for giving you medicine that took away your desire to eat,” Garak spoke, sighing as he took a scone with one hand and ate it with careful finesse so not to get crumbs in the bed. “I put a call into him, by the way, when I saw you puking your guts out. He wasn't at the hospital yet...”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, “I think I want to lie down again,” he spoke quietly, his expression tired. “Hold me?”</p><p> </p><p>Garak finished his scone, set the tablet on his lap, and quickly moved the tray to the bedside table, “Of course,” he replied reassuringly, his shopping plans forgotten in an instant. “Whatever you need.”</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Julian laid down on his side and Garak snaked one arm around him while holding the tablet with the other. Within moments, Julian was asleep and Garak stared at the tablet sadly. He too was hurting over Julian's condition and he didn't know how to cope or even have a moment to breathe because he needed to use all his energy to be there for Julian. Truth be told, Garak was exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>Truth be told, Elim Garak was a very good liar even concerning his own feelings. He was deeply saddened at the fact that Julian would never be able to bear them any children and he was also angry at himself for having such a fear of artificial parts that he couldn't undergo the surgery to make himself a Carrier. Yet, even despite his own hurt, he knew he needed to be Julian's rock for the moment. It wouldn't do any good to share his hurt with Julian, as Julian would only blame himself for it.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing heavily, Garak set the tablet aside and gazed up at the ceiling, rendered helpless by his own feelings of exhaustion and inadequacy. He needed help, but he also needed to help his mate.</p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>By noon, Julian was feeling better and decided that as a couple, they should go to the Capital Marketplace and shop for whatever his husband wanted in the way of things to grow in the gardens.</p><p> </p><p>Garak had ended up falling asleep while holding Julian, so he too woke feeling better and had agreed to the request with a quiet enthusiasm. It became fairly obvious, however, that Julian wasn't as well as he claimed to be when they reached the Marketplace simply because he had scouted out a soft chair for himself in the area among the stalls where citizens and tourists alike would gather for discussion, meals, and relaxing around what Castellan Maratt dubbed 'The Eternal Flame.' The flame's pit had been added during the reconstruction efforts as a symbol that Cardassia would never truly die even in war.</p><p> </p><p>Julian sat in a chair closest to the flame, shrouded in long Terran sweatpants, work boots, a simple shirt, a warm sweater, and a greatcoat belonging to his husband. His hair was floofy and speckled with gray appropriate to his age, but his expression and his normally sparkling eyes were filled with fatigue. He looked like a miserable old man who was hurting and needed a hug or help or some sort of medicine.</p><p> </p><p>Rather than engage himself in a fight similar to the one that had taken place the night before, Garak had busied himself shopping for starters and food seeds for the gardens. He had even splurged on a few succulents and cactuses for the boxes near the fences to serve as a deterrent to any homeless or addicts who tried to break into the yard and use it as a squatter's paradise. After coming to Cardassia to help with relief efforts, Julian had originally worked in the camps where many homeless and mentally ill souls had lived after the war, but had moved to work in the hospital permanently after a group of infirms had attacked and tried to murder the “strange alien.” The hospital was <em>much</em> safer for him.</p><p> </p><p>It didn't take long for Garak to shop and store his purchases in a buyable basket, as he knew what he wanted and sensed that his mate wouldn't really care about what was in the garden as long as it ended up making the yard look pretty. As Garak took the purchases back towards the gathering area, he noticed Kelas come into the square from the direction of the hospital and immediately walk over to Julian upon seeing him there. Garak watched as Kelas sat beside Julian before engaging in conversation with him. Julian looked incredibly solemn the entire time, but was polite and incredibly attentive to whatever Kelas was saying. A few moments passed before Kelas got up and silently left the area, leaving Julian sitting alone looking much like a lost puppy. Garak swallowed hard, deeply afraid.</p><p> </p><p>Unaware that he was being watched, Julian silently got up, shrouded himself in the greatcoat, and silently began walking back in the direction of their home. Garak suddenly felt angry and ashamed of his inability to embrace his marriage as much as he promised Julian he would. The vows <em>mattered.</em></p><p> </p><p>And yet, Garak found himself unable to follow. He <em>needed</em> a moment to process the events of last night, he <em>needed</em> a moment to breathe, he <em>needed</em> a moment to cry, and oh...how he <em>needed</em> some kanar. He hadn't touched kanar since the last time Julian got drunk and ended up singing in the garden at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night nearly waking half the city, but these <em>were</em> uncertain times.</p><p> </p><p>Letting out a tired sigh, Garak silently carried his box over to a store he knew carried some quality kanar among other luxuries. He would get a bottle and hide it for a time when Julian was resting, as he needed to keep playing the part of attentive spouse when Julian was awake and in need of him.</p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>By the time Garak got home after shopping for plants, some needed groceries, and several bottles of kanar he intended to stash for emergencies, it was nearly evening. The moment he stepped into the house, Garak knew something was wrong because the house was eerily silent, but unusually warm.</p><p> </p><p>Garak quickly set his purchases in the kitchen before roaming the house in search of his husband. He found Julian in the bedroom, silently dressing in a pair of dark pants, coal colored boots, a modest, dark blue tunic, and a simple tan vest indicating his status as the spouse of a Legate. Julian's hair was clean and his face had been washed, but he still looked tired, frail, and as if he should still be in bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Elim, you should <em>hurry</em> so we aren't late for the Castellan's gathering,” Julian spoke in an unusually calm voice considering how sick he had been earlier. “I know it's <em>important</em> to you that we attend.”</p><p> </p><p>Garak paused, “Julian, dear, if you're <em>not</em> up for it...” he spoke hesitantly. “We <em>can</em> stay in tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your status in Cardassian society is the <em>priority</em>,” Julian responded softly, his expression subdued as he moved over to Garak and gently touched the ridges on his face. “We <em>must</em> do our best to honor it.”</p><p> </p><p>Garak, however, gave Julian a confused look, “Julian, did you sneak some kanar or more of that dreadful medication?” he asked in a confused voice. “You're acting <em>unusually</em> chipper right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, but you might want to put the kanar you bought away in a cool place so it doesn't go bad,” Julian spoke in a quieter voice, fitting some cufflinks on his cuffs and his ring on his finger. “<em>Really</em>, Elim, you're not one who can handle deep emotions and you respond to emotional crises by sneaking bottles of kanar into the house with the belief that I don't know about them. I saw you hang back when I was talking to Kelas in the square and it's made me decide that I'd <em>rather</em> go to the hospital <em>alone</em>...”</p><p> </p><p>Garak frowned, “I already scheduled the time off,” he argued. “You can't <em>possibly</em> go alone.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don't <em>want</em> to be a burden to you,” Julian spoke in a somber voice, his expression tired as he moved into the master bathroom. “When I am released from hospital, I'm going to get a bed at the Rehabilitative Care Center so you can have a break. It's a bit of a somber place, but...”</p><p> </p><p>Garak scoffed, “Now <em>that</em> is enough!” he hissed darkly, glaring at Julian. “Why are you...?”</p><p> </p><p>“We've been married nearly <em>six years</em> and you still <em>can't</em> trust me!” Julian snapped, his calm facade fading away quickly. “You can't be bothered to tell me that you're hurting just as much as I am over this! I could feel it and see it, yet you want to pretend that absolutely nothing is wrong!”</p><p> </p><p>Garak looked astonished and frankly, felt astonished that Julian's observational skills were better than he had assumed them to be. He wanted to speak, to apologize, and to admit that his mate was <em>right</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Julian however, turned his attention to the mirror, “<em>You</em> should get a skimmer arranged because the evening dispatchers only speak Kardasi and mine's very imperfect,” he spoke in a voice riddled with quiet anger. “The Castellan's residence is further than I feel up to walking tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>Garak gave Julian a concerned look, but merely did as he was told and went to the communication terminal in the bedroom to arrange a skimmer. By the time he had arranged for it and agreed to be ready in a mere 15 minutes, Julian had left the bathroom through the other door and was somewhere else in the house. He clearly was very angry, in deep pain, and wanted to be alone with his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p><em>We are going to talk about this later. </em>Garak silently determined as he hurried to get himself ready.</p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>Castellan Marratt's monthly dinner parties were seen as a morale booster for the white collar workers, the Guls, the Glinns, Legates, and the spouses of all of those who worked very hard to keep the restored nation from collapse through endless politicking. The blue collar workers focused on maintaining buildings, allocation of resources, and functionality and they too were important, but the way of things was that the blue collars had their own way of celebrating hard work that was less refined than the Castellan's standard. Yet, Castellan Maratt didn't <em>care</em> how <em>they</em> celebrated as long as they served the State well.</p><p> </p><p>Even though Cardassia was restored to a state of functionality, however, it was still recovering and would be for at least another generation. As a result, Castellan Marratt had asked citizens to preserve common resources like vehicle fuel and water as much as humanly possible and not be greedy with the day to day use of it. It was for that reason that Julian and Elim Bashir-Garak did not own a vehicle of their own; they walked where it was possible to walk and relied on skimmers and transport shuttles when they needed to travel a great distance. They hadn't gone off planet since Julian's arrival either, as the Federation had been <em>less</em> than forgiving about Julian marrying a Cardassian citizen and although they had not imposed a formal travel ban upon him, they made it <em>clear</em> that they weren't pleased.</p><p> </p><p>Now, as the two stepped from the skimmer and made their way to the Castellan's front door, Garak wondered if he should fund a trip to Risa for the two of them. They <em>obviously</em> had some problems and needed time away from everything except each other so they could focus on making things right again.</p><p> </p><p>Julian got to the door first and knocked before drawing back to wait for permission to enter, as Cardassian social custom demanded. A moment passed before the door opened, revealing an aged looking housekeeper that reminded Garak much of the late Mila. The housekeeper bowed to the two of them and then stepped aside to allow them entry since it was <em>obvious</em> they were there for the dinner.\</p><p> </p><p>Offering a similar bow, Julian silently entered the residence and Garak followed. The Cardassian was shocked that Julian silently put his coat up before proceeding into the waiting area without engaging anyone, even himself, in pleasant conversation. Garak also dispensed of his coat and joined him.</p><p> </p><p>Cardassian classical music suddenly filled the air as the doors to the social hall breezed open and a youthful looking Cardassian man came into the waiting area sporting tan boots, dark pants, a dark red tunic, and a long gold vest that had simple, yet elaborate embellishments on it. His greying hair was short, cropped just above the ears, and he was wearing glasses as a symbol of his unfailing wisdom.</p><p> </p><p>“No contact lenses and fake ponytail today, Castellan?” Garak asked calmly, a smirk on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt scoffed, but smiled, “I only use the contact lenses when I'm doing grunt work in the streets because I don't want to risk the homeless or infirm breaking my glasses,” he replied in a patient voice. “I'm working on arranging new villages to reduce homelessness, but you know how it is when you try to bring new ideas to <em>traditionalists</em>. Anyway, I see you brought your lovely husband!”</p><p> </p><p>Julian's attention quickly turned to the Castellan and he slipped a mask of diplomacy over his tired face, truly determined to play his part well, “Good evening, Castellan Marratt,” he spoke politely, his expression diplomatic as he bowed to the Castellan. “Thank you for having me to your home.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Doctor Julian, it is my <em>pleasure</em>,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a warm voice, his smile wide as he gestured into the social hall. “Dinner is about to be served. Please, come and take your seats.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded and followed the Castellan into the social/dining area while Garak trailed behind, a confused expression on his face. Why was Julian suddenly adhering to social custom and being anything but his normally chatty, cheerful self? Was he feeling intimidated or just extremely unwell?</p><p> </p><p>The dinner table, which had a sheet over what appeared to be an elaborate spread of dishes and food, was crowded with Guls, Glinns, Legates, and their spouses already, but there were two empty chairs next to the head of the table, “Doctor Julian, please sit next to me and regale me with tales of your medical career over dinner, will you?” Castellan Marratt asked eagerly. “Elim, sit next to him.”</p><p> </p><p>Garak wanted to protest, as Julian was acting strangely and didn't look well, but Julian silently took his assigned seat without protest. Castellan Maratt took his seat at the head of the table and Garak planted himself on Julian's other side, deeply surprised when Julian didn't take hold of his hand.</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt gazed at everyone seated and then gave an order in Kardasi, an order Garak recognized as a command to serve the dinner and drinks. A simply dressed attendant came over to the table and carefully removed the cover, revealing an elegant spread of food, drinks, empty plates, and cutlery. As the attendant stepped away, the Castellan invited everyone to eat in regal Kardasi.</p><p> </p><p>Noise immediately filled the hall, but Garak quickly noticed that Julian was not touching any of the food or drink and was sitting in a way that appeared as if he was hugging himself, “Doctor Julian, do you want anything?” Castellan Marratt asked eagerly, loading his own plate as he looked at Julian.</p><p> </p><p>“My apologies, Castellan, but I don't have much of an appetite this evening,” Julian spoke in a quiet, apologetic voice that carried a slight tremble in it. “It was a very long, busy day working at the hospital yesterday and I'm afraid I still haven't quite recovered from it. I am <em>more</em> than happy to chat, though.”</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt eyed Julian worriedly, “You're so <em>skinny</em>, though, Doctor Julian,” he replied in a concerned voice, giving the doctor a once-over. “Being so skinny at your age is...concerning.”</p><p> </p><p>Murmurs filled the air, all of them in Kardasi, and Garak could tell that the Glinns, Guls, and Legates were eavesdropping and making derogatory comments about how the weak little Human was failing to impress the Castellan. Offering a few insults in Kardasi, Garak took hold of Julian's hand in his own.</p><p> </p><p>“Castellan, please <em>refrain </em>from insulting my husband's appearance,” Garak spoke in a voice of warning as he gave Castellan Marratt a sharp look. “Julian is beautiful and perfect just as he is.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian's entire posture stiffened and he suddenly felt uneasy as he felt Elim's hand in his own. Did Elim really mean what he said or was he just putting on a show for those who were present at the dinner?</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt replied in Kardasi and proceeded to eat what he had put on his own plate. Garak was about to offer another insult in Kardasi when Julian suddenly spoke a quiet string of Kardasi while looking intently at the Castellan. Garak realized that Julian was offering a simple explanation as to why he wasn't well and about the upcoming surgery and was doing it in Kardasi as a sign of respect.</p><p> </p><p>All of the eavesdroppers suddenly fell silent and Julian took the opportunity to get up and leave the dining/social area in silence. Garak swore at the crowd in Kardasi before getting up and following.</p><p> </p><p>Julian was grabbing his coat in the waiting area with his back to the social hall, but Garak could tell her was sad and ill, “My dear doctor...” Garak spoke in a soothing voice as he approached and embraced him from behind, sighing when Julian turned to face him with tears filling his tired eyes. “<em>Julian</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Sighing patiently, Garak rested his forehead against Julian's and took his hands in his own while speaking gentle Kardasi. Julian relaxed and briefly smiled as Garak gently kissed his nose.</p><p> </p><p>“I'll call for a skimmer and we can go home if you like,” Garak spoke gently. “It's been...”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed tiredly, “I need as much rest as possible right now, Elim,” he admitted softly. “Kelas can fit me in day after tomorrow. He told me that when we had our conversation in the city square.”</p><p> </p><p>“And so you shall have as much rest as you want and I will be the one to make sure you get it,” Garak replied as he turned to the staffers that were hiding in the shadows. “Please call for a skimmer immediately. I'm afraid my husband and I have had quite enough of the <em>spoiled brats</em> at this party.”</p><p> </p><p>The order was carried out and a skimmer showed up very quickly, as several were on call for the specific purpose of carting citizens home from the party safely at the end of the night. Those present who did have vehicles had left them home that evening because the Castellan's parties were known for heavy eating, drinking, and other behaviors that would make operating a vehicle relatively unsafe.</p><p> </p><p>No thought, however, was given to the rest of the party as Garak led Julian outside and helped him sit before holding him close as if he were a precious treasure. Julian didn't fight or try to pull away because the short visit to the Castellan had completely drained him of energy and it was, in truth, nice to bask in Elim's warmth and supportive personality whenever the man felt like showing it.</p><p> </p><p>The skimmer pulled away into the night with neither Julian nor Garak aware of the fact that Castellan Maratt was now highly upset and berating everyone left at the table for their ungracious behaviors.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Extra Fragile: Handle With Care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julian's surgery day has arrived, but complications arise that neither he nor Elim saw coming. Ghosts from the past may affect the future they had hoped to share.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <span>The last day had been a quiet one, with the two of them spending the day planting the starters and food plants in various spaces within the garden now that the warn season was upon Cardassia. It was Elim that had done most of the soil preparation, digging, and planting, but he hadn't minded in the least simply because it was better that Julian did very little. Julian's role was that of a quiet watcher and he had played his role beautifully, resting in a padded chair close to the house with constant fluids.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>In the evening, the two had cuddled on the couch and talked about what the next few days would be like for both of them. They had promised to be completely honest with each other about their feelings and be angry or sad when it was needed, but to never personally attack the other. Elim had then declared himself to be fasting from food and drink from that point forward until after the surgery. Cardassian fasts could be spiritual if one wanted them to be and Elim didn't think that it would hurt for him to skip meals willingly simply because Julian would <em>have</em> to. It was a fast done out of love.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>When the sun had risen on the day of the surgery, Elim had helped Julian pack a bag that included clothes, toiletries, a couple of books, and Kukulaka; things he would need for the stay in the hospital that would follow the surgery. Julian had admitted being nervous over taking Kukulaka to the hospital, as he was nearly 42 and shouldn't need a teddy bear, but Elim had simply packed him anyway.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Now, as the two sat in the hospital's waiting area, Julian found himself staring helplessly at the tablet holding the admission paperwork he was supposed to fill out. He suddenly couldn't remember how to fill out medical paperwork and his nerves wouldn't let him do anything but sit there and stare at the wall; his fear of dying on the table was high and all he wanted to do was throw up, cry, or run away.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My dear, the paperwork will <em>not</em> fill itself out and Kelas will be here <em>any minute</em>,” Elim's voice suddenly filtered into his ear as a Cardassian hand touched the tablet. “Would you like me to...?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Swallowing hard, Julian wordlessly passed the tablet to Elim because Elim could fill out the chart and then pass it back for him to sign. Elim sighed and had the chart filled out in a matter of seconds; he knew Julian Bashir intimately and it was no trouble to fill out a measly medical chart if it would help his husband with his unmanageable nerves, “Thank you,” Julian managed to say weakly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded, taking the bag from Julian's lap as Julian signed the paperwork, “Elim, I didn't update my will,” Julian spoke in a shaky, tired voice. “If...if I....”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Stop that</em>, Julian,” Elim replied with a sigh. “Lean against my shoulder and take a breath.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian did so and exhaled anxiously, “I <em>know</em> this is hard on you, Elim,” he spoke softly. “If you feel like you want to go get <em>bombed</em> on kanar while I'm out cold, I wouldn't blame or resent you for it...”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian, <em>really</em>, if I took time off from the <em>office</em> to be here for you, I am most <em>definitely </em>going to be here for you and not getting drunk in some bar,” Elim replied gently. “You need to stop shaking like a leaf.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Julian could reply, Dr. Parmak came strolling into the waiting room dressed in surgical clothes and a tranquil smile on his face, “Ah, Doctor Julian, hello,” he spoke warmly. “Are you ready?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No, but it is what it is,” Julian replied softly, offering the tablet. “It...it's all filled out.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas accepted the tablet and took it over to a nearby computer. He plugged it in and a moment later, he returned to Julian with a hospital bracelet that sported his name, care instructions, and what type of medical ministration he was there for. Julian offered his left wrist and Dr. Parmak secured the bracelet around it tenderly, “Right, you two, this way,” Dr. Parmak said kindly. “Elim, you can come with him if you want and be in the room during surgery. I know this hasn't been easy for either of you...”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian and Elim stood together, their hands locked while Elim used his other hand to hold the flimsy sportsbag Julian had packed for himself. Dr. Parmak collected the tablet from the wall and led the two to the pre-op area. A set of hospital clothes sat folded on a hover-gurney and Julian sighed at the sight of them; he was going to do this, he was <em>really</em> going to let his power to Carry be taken away from him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Change and get settled in the bed,” Dr. Parmak instructed cheerfully. “I'll be back in a moment.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim pulled the privacy curtain around the bed and the two of them, but Julian merely stared at the bed and the clothes with an expression of pure helplessness on his face, “I <em>can't</em> do this,” he trembled.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Yes, Julian, you <em>can</em> and you <em>must</em> so you'll be <em>healthy</em>,” Elim replied gently, but firmly. “My dear...”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Tears filled Julian's eyes and quiet whimpers filled the air as the man began to cry helplessly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim silently embraced Julian and held him for a few moments before extracting himself. He proceeded to help Julian out of the simple clothes and slippers he had worn that day and into the flimsy fabrics that served as hospital clothing. The two then sat on the bed, silently cuddling while Julian calmed down. Elim then got up and helped Julian make himself comfortable on the hover-gurney. The bag was now on the floor, but Elim hadn't forgotten it; he just had more important matters to see to just then.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
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<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Just half an hour later, Julian was laying on a surgical bed in a white operating room. He had been given a little medicine to relax him and so he was engrossed in staring at the ceiling, completely unaware that Elim was settled in a chair in the corner with Julian’s bag at his feet as part of his plan to be a supportive spouse. Elim knew he couldn’t speak or alert Julian to his presence or both of them would break down crying and they were both under enough emotional stress at the moment.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Thankfully, before Elim had a chance to lose his resolve to not cry, Kelas and a nurse came into the room, both of them in surgical clothing. Julian looked at them, his expression loopy because of the earlier medicine, “Morning,” he spoke in a whispery voice. “Come to knock me out?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Garak cringed, nausea suddenly filling his body as he watched Kelas and the nurse talk to Julian briefly before the nurse gently sedated Julian with a hypospray. Unable to take another moment of the whole procedure, as it was triggering reminders of his implant, Elim rose and collected Julian’s bag.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m sorry, Kelas, I <em>cannot </em>be here during the surgery,” Elim admitted. “It’s…it’s too much for me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas nodded, “It’s too much for most spouses to actually be in the room with their mates when surgeries happen, which is why I don’t usually recommend it,” he replied calmly. “Go have something to eat in the atrium and I will come find you when the surgery is completed. Do not worry, Elim.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I am <em>fasting</em>, but sitting among the plants might help me calm down,” Elim replied. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Without waiting for a reply, Elim left with Julian’s bag and didn’t stop walking until he reached the hospital’s atrium. He chose a seat next to the window and gazed out at the city silently.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Really, Legate Garak?” a stern, familiar voice suddenly spoke. “<em>Dozing</em> <em>off</em> on duty?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim turned from the window and was surprised to see Castellan Maratt coming towards him wearing office attire adorned with emblems indicating his status and his glasses, “You know full well that I took time off from duty to be with Julian,” he spoke sternly. “But…it’s hard…harder than I thought it…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt nodded and sat himself down next to Elim, “It was hard for me too when I sat with my first wife, Staella, crying over her and our unborn child after they died at the hands of the Jem’Hadar during the destruction of Lakarian City,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “I <em>did</em> marry again after the war, but it has <em>not</em> been without hardship. Fortunately, love is <em>capable</em> of surviving hardship.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“What hardship could you <em>possibly</em> have with Myrina?” Elim replied in a voice of disbelief. “She is a credit to the rebuilding of Cardassian culture! She is always lovely company during your parties!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt sighed, his expression suddenly solemn, “The same hardship you have experienced with Julian,” he replied in a quiet, toneless voice. “Myrina was hurt during the war and she made it known that she might not be able to give me an heir, but I didn’t care. I loved and wanted her and <em>only</em> her. She stood by me as I ascended to the office of Castellan and I have stood by her through the struggle we have endured to become parents. We had to let that dream go last month…as Julian is.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Last <em>month</em>?!” Elim replied, frowning. “You mean when you and Myrina went to Earth for…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt nodded, “Cardassians are <em>very</em> skilled liars when they wish to be and I lied to protect my wife,” he explained calmly. “Speaking of the party, Elim. We really <em>must</em> talk about that…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Let all the Guls, Glinns, Legates, and their <em>spoiled</em> spouses pout about it,” Elim hissed coldly, his expression upset. “Julian never came to the parties before this one and now I understand <em>why</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt looked amused, “After you two left, I ordered the doors locked and I screamed at the lot of them for nearly <em>two hours</em> before kicking them all out of my estate,” he explained, a smirk on his youthful lips as he spoke. “Myrina was absolutely stunned when I said that your Carrier husband was having such difficulties and we spent the rest of the night reminding ourselves of how fortunate we are to have what we have. It hasn’t been without stress, but a nourished love can survive all storms.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing, Castellan Marratt stood, “And now, my dear Legate Garak, I must be getting to my duties in the governmental offices,” he spoke in a kind voice. “Be kind to Julian and be kind to yourself as well.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once Castellan Marratt had gone, Elim sighed and opened Julian’s bag. He silently fished Kukulaka out before closing the bag and rising from the seat. He slung the bag over his shoulder and held the teddy bear close to his chest; it was a simple way of reminding himself of Julian’s constant warmth.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>have </em>to be kind to myself,” Elim spoke as he forced himself to sit again, holding Kukulaka to his chest as he set the bag beside his lap. “I’m not <em>ready</em> to simply walk in there and be fully present.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing, Elim grasped Kukulaka with both hands and closed his eyes in an attempt to meditate the way Julian had taught him over the years to manage his PTSD from the war. A calm silence filled the air and after a few moments, Elim felt like he was floating and his tired mind was slowly relaxing.</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Legate Garak?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim opened his eyes and frowned when he saw the nurse instead of Kelas, “The surgery is over, but Doctor Parmak is still with Doctor Julian because of <em>complications...</em>,” the nurse explained softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Swallowing hard, Elim rose and grabbed the bag, “Take me to Julian,” he snipped, his expression hard. “<em>Now</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
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<hr/><p class="Standard">
  <span>The hospital room had a view overlooking the hospital garden that he himself had painstakingly planted at the new Castellan’s request after the war. Elim found the sight comforting as he followed the nurse into the room, but his calm quickly faded when he saw Kelas and the nurse standing by the bed.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian was laying in the bed unconscious and being given breathing assistance from a respirator while a drip-feed of blood sat attached to his hand, “Kelas?” Elim spoke timidly, his expression fearful.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, I had just finished removing the organs and was preparing to close when Julian suddenly went into some sort of neural shock,” Kelas explained as Elim approached the bed. “It was if his brain was <em>attacking</em> his body for having surgery. Fortunately, I managed to stabilize him and close up. I do, however, want to keep him sedated and on respiration to give his body a chance to recover without expending effort. I’ll also be in the room monitoring him constantly so I can figure out what…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Heartsick, Elim sighed, “Around the time of Julian’s 30<sup>th</sup> birthday, he was attacked and rendered comatose by a Lethean, but he <em>survived</em> that,” he explained worriedly. “Do you think that might be the cause of the issue?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Most people <em>die</em> from Lethean attacks,” Kelas hypothesized in a concerned voice, frowning worriedly as he turned back to check the bio-monitor. “Perhaps it left some residual effects that only present themselves when his body is subject to traumas like surgery. I’d like your permission to run a full neural workup on him.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded and inched himself to Julian’s side, “Do whatever you need to, Kelas, just tell me if there are going to be any permanent effects from this,” he spoke in a concerned voice as he tucked Kukulaka into the crook of Julian’s arm. “He sacrificed <em>everything</em> to come and be with me…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, preliminary scans tell me that he’s already <em>had</em> side effects from this including at least one seizure,” Kelas explained in a concerned voice, frowning. “You’ve been married for <em>six</em> years…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A scoff escaped Elim’s lips, “If Julian had a seizure, he would know about it since he’s a <em>doctor</em>,” he replied, unable to keep doubt from slipping in. “If he <em>knew</em> about it, <em>why</em> didn’t he tell me?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Maybe he didn’t <em>know</em> what it was,” Kelas spoke calmly. “There have been times where I’ve seen him mention unusual tiredness while working or just sit staring off into space on his breaks. Have there ever been times when he’s reluctant to go out of your home for social or couples time claiming it’s because he’s tired from work?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s expression became troubled as he reflected that there <em>had</em> been those times and he had simply dismissed them as Julian being a self-conscious, frail Human. If <em>Julian</em>, who was a skilled and competent doctor, had missed such warning signs, what had <em>he</em> missed in his blissful ignorance? He was truly a horrible spouse.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Muttering a quiet apology in Kardasi, Elim sat on the bedside stool and took Julian’s hand in his own, “Run whatever tests you want and do whatever you must to help Julian,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “<em>Please</em>, Kelas.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It sounds like the changes in Julian’s body that caused the need for this surgery may have triggered residual effects from the Lethean’s attack, but I <em>do</em> need to run tests to be <em>absolutely sure</em>,” Kelas explained in a professional voice as he scribbled a few notes on a stylus before shoving it in the nurse’s hands anxiously. “If I am right, such a condition can be treated with medicine and therapies. I’m not <em>sure</em> I’m right, though…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim swore, “Kelas, I am getting a <em>headache</em> from all your nonsensical prattling,” he spoke in an upset voice, giving his friend a murderous look. “How long are you going to keep Julian sedated for exactly?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Until I think it’s <em>safe</em> for his body <em>and</em> his brain to wake him up,” Kelas replied in a matter-of-fact voice, giving Elim a look. “If his recovering body gets too overtaxed too soon it may trigger another seizure or <em>worse</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The mention of a possibility <em>worse</em> than a seizure prompted Elim to shudder and nod as he closed his eyes to focus every bit of energy on Julian in the hope that his mere presence, his strong love, his will for a good outcome would help with healing. They <em>would</em> make it through this and whatever else was yet to come; they <em>had</em> to make it through this. Elim knew that he would <em>truly</em> be broken beyond repair if he lost Julian now.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Complications</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <strong>
    <em>
      <span>Five Days Later</span>
    </em>
  </strong>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The days are getting warmer, my dear,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice as he stood at the window of Julian’s hospital room with a cup of red leaf tea in hand, gazing out at the garden below. “Not that I’ve been outside much in the last five days. I used the computer in the room to activate the automatic sprinkler system for our yard because I can’t bear to go back to our home without you by my side.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing, Elim turned to face Julian and saw that he was still very much unconscious and hooked to the respirator. Kelas had run numerous tests and delivered medicines to treat both Julian’s recovery from surgery and his neural issues, but any result was yet to be seen. Julian was stable, but very weak.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim forced himself to finish the tea in a flourish and dump the cup in the recycler before planting himself at his husband’s bedside as he did every day. Remembering the advice from the Castellan, Elim allowed himself one walk a day, but he went no further than the hospital garden and it was only when Kelas or a nurse could be there to watch over Julian. He could only be off by himself for so long.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I hope you’re strong enough to rejoin me soon, my dear,” Elim spoke, a sad sigh in his voice, taking Julian’s hand as he lowered his head to ward off the grief that threatened to overwhelm him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Quiet footsteps entered the room and Elim looked up to see Kelas come in holding a tablet chart, “<em>Please</em> tell me you have good news,” Elim spoke in a mournful voice. “This has all just been…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I can bring Julian back to consciousness today, but he will still need treatment,” Kelas spoke in a quiet voice as he approached the bed. “Elim, I must know something. Has Julian ever gotten pregnant?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed and then paused, as he honestly wasn’t sure because they weren’t around each other all of the time. The first few years of their marriage had been busy, as Julian was busy working at as many field hospitals as he could to help survivors and Elim had thrust himself deeply into government work.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>If Julian had been pregnant and lost it, even before they had been together, Elim wouldn’t be angry about it. No, he knew he had to be supportive even if Julian had told him a few lies about things.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Or even just hormonal fluctuations would have done it,” Kelas spoke on. “In short, his brain has had negative reactions to the implants ever since he hit puberty but was able to manage itself safely until the Lethean attack. His brain sent messages to his body to damage the implants by way of abnormal growths, bleeding, and intense pains. That’s why they didn’t work and when there were attempts made to get pregnant, his brain reacted by shutting Julian down by way of inducing seizure activity.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim frowned, as he had been the one to ask that they try for children and Julian, ever the people pleaser, had agreed. <em>Julian didn’t feel like he could tell me about any of this because I wanted children so badly and my selfish, narrowminded desire almost got him killed. </em>Intense guilt filled Elim’s heart.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, I <em>know</em> what you are thinking because the guilt is written all over your face,” Kelas spoke in a calm voice. “Julian did <em>not</em> know about any of this. This is really something that is quite medically rare and…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, “You are <em>not</em> writing a medical article about it without Julian’s permission, Kelas,” he spoke in a firm voice. “You said you could wake Julian up? Can he come off the respirator too?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas nodded and focused his attention on removing the respirator before producing a hypospray from his pocket. He gently pressed it into Julian’s neck and waited patiently as the minutes passed.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It may take several moments for Doctor Julian to wake and he may experience excessive fatigue, headaches, nausea, and hypersensitivity,” Kelas explained softly. “Just be patient and gentle…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A weak groan suddenly escaped Julian’s lips, “<em>Elim</em>,” he breathed groggily, not opening his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m right here, my dear,” Elim spoke quietly, sighing when Julian turned his head towards him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Slowly, but surely, Julian’s eyes opened and he sighed weakly, “<em>Elim</em>,” he repeated. “How’d it go?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim paused and Kelas quickly moved into view, “Hello there, Doctor Julian,” Kelas spoke in a quiet, warm voice. “The hysterectomy had to be done a different way than what we talked about and there <em>were</em> some neural complications, but you’re being taken care of. Why don’t you rest for a while and then, in a few hours, we’ll get you up and walking to loosen your body up, all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian’s eyes narrowed, “<em>Neural</em> complications?” he asked groggily. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim quickly squeezed Julian’s hand, “My dear, we’ll talk about it when you’ve slept a bit,” he spoke in a calm, but firm voice. “Do what Doctor Parmak says and I <em>promise</em>, we will talk about it later.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Letting out a groggy sigh, Julian closed his eyes and let sleep carry him away, “Contact me when he wakes again and I’ll come back,” Kelas said calmly. “Be sure to take breaks if you get tired, Elim.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once Kelas was gone, however, Elim simply remained where he was and closed his eyes in a feeble attempt to rest while Julian slept. He hadn’t done much resting in the past five days simply because he was too concerned that Julian was at death’s door and was <em>finally</em> starting to feel very, <em>very</em> tired.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
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<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…Is this thing with my brain treatable?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim stirred and lifted his head at the sound of Julian’s voice. He was shocked to see that Julian was awake and talking with Kelas while looking at his tablet chart. The two hadn’t noticed him wake up.</span>
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  <span>“Julian, you’re <em>awake</em>,” Elim spoke groggily, prompting Julian and Kelas to both look at him.</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed, “And you’ve been asleep for nearly <em>six</em> hours,” he replied softly. “Doctor Parmak tells me you haven’t left the hospital property in <em>five</em> days. Was I <em>really</em> unconscious for five whole days?”</span>
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  <span>“Yes, Julian, you were,” Elim replied solemnly, his eyes sad. “Didn’t Doctor Parmak tell you?”</span>
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  <span>Julian scoffed, “I wanted to hear it from <em>you</em>,” he admitted softly. “Doctor Parmak told me I was in some sort of neural shock. He also says it’s perfectly treatable, but I can’t be left alone at the house while I’m recovering from this surgery and being treated neurologically. If you want to leave…I <em>know</em> you have a lot of demands on you, so I can arrange to stay at the care center to ease your load…”</span>
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  <span>Elim frowned, “It should take a month at most to treat Julian’s neurological issue and get his brain realizing that his body is no longer carrying the extra organs,” Kelas explained. “Neuro-therapy sessions twice a week and daily medication should help reprogram his brain into a healthy state.”</span>
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  <span>“But I <em>will</em> have symptoms and there will be times where I’m unable to do very much physically or mentally,” Julian explained softly, his expression tired. “I might get overly <em>emotional</em>…”</span>
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  <span>Elim gave Julian a look, “And we’ll <em>manage</em>,” he replied firmly. “Are you ready to go for a walk?”</span>
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  <span>“A <em>small</em> one,” Julian said softly, sighing. “Can you help me out of bed? I’m feeling a bit shaky.”</span>
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  <span>Elim obliged and held tightly to Julian as Julian took a few shaky steps before placing a hand on his healing abdomen, “To the door and then back will suffice for now,” Kelas instructed, watching Julian.</span>
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  <span>Julian felt a sense of dread with every step he took from the bed to the door and back, as he knew his movements were shaky and he might have fallen had Elim not had a hold on him. His brain was sick and had made his body sick; he was now more of a burden on his husband than he had intended to be.</span>
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  <span>Never was Julian so glad to return sitting on the bed, “My steps are <em>weak</em>,” he mused shakily.</span>
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  <span>Kelas nodded, his expression neutral as he made some notes on the tablet chart before looking at the two of them, “I think you should use a hoverchair until you start the neurological therapy,” he finally spoke in a quiet voice. “And you <em>shouldn’t</em> work until such time as the therapies are complete. Julian.”</span>
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  <span>Julian nodded, his expression troubled as he stared at the floor, “When can I take Julian home, Kelas?” Elim asked impatiently, joining Julian on the bed. “I think the hospital environment is <em>too</em> stressful…”</span>
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  <span>Kelas looked surprised, “You can’t take time off work for a <em>month</em>, Elim!” he replied anxiously.</span>
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  <span>“<em>Shut up</em> and get a hoverchair so my husband and I can go sit in the garden where it’s pleasant!” Elim snapped, his expression dangerous as he looked at Kelas. “Or is that too much trouble for you?!”</span>
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  <span>Kelas fled and Elim sighed before putting his arm around Julian, who quietly accepted the gesture tenderness.</span>
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  <span>“…Yes, everyone, I am taking a <em>leave of absence</em> from the office and am going to be doing as much work as possible from the comfort of our home. Anything that requires my physical presence will either have to be postponed until my husband is well or altered so that I can safely have him with me…”</span>
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  <span>A flurry of protests in Kardasi filled the air, prompting Julian to wake and realize that he had fallen asleep during the hoverchair ride from the room. Before going out, Elim had insisted on covering his pajamas with a robe and a blanket from the bag they had packed. Kukulaka was also present, resting in Julian’s lap and providing a sense of security. Julian looked around and saw that Elim was sitting at a nearby table with several ornately dressed Cardassians seated around him and a flurry of PADDs covering the tabletop.</span>
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  <span>“<em>Really</em>, Legate, you should just dump him in the care home,” a man that Julian knew to be a PTSD-inflicted Cardassian Gul named Frelin Marak spoke in a voice that Julian knew he was deliberately meant to overhear. “It’s bad enough that we made accommodations for the Castellan’s wife to miss the dinner because she was doing cultural work in another part of that castle of theirs, but to put up with your <em>broken mess</em> of a…”</span>
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  <span>Elim growled, “<em>Careful</em>, Gul Marak, or I shall message Castellan Marratt the security footage of you taking up with prostitutes in the streets of New Lakaria even though you are supposed to be happily married,” he spoke in a dark tone. “I am the Legate for Cardassia City and you are all <em>my</em> staff…MY staff...which means you <em>do not</em> tell me what to do!”</span>
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  <span>“Oh, I’m <em>sure</em> Castellan Marratt would be <em>very</em> interested in you choosing to neglect your duty to the state in favor of catering to an overemotional, weak, <em>disabled</em> spouse when there are perfectly good resources available that can care for him!” Gul Marak snapped, slamming his hands on the table as he rose from his seat. “He’s 42 years old and still needs a <em>teddy bear</em>, for heaven’s sake!”</span>
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  <span>Julian was stunned to see Elim swear angrily in Kardasi before sweeping all of the PADDs off of the table before upending the table, causing it to crack into pieces, “This staff meeting is <em>over</em>,” Elim hissed. “If you will all excuse me!”</span>
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  <span>Anxious Kardasi filled the air as the others in attendance scrambled to see what of their property was broken, but Elim ignored them as he returned to Julian, “I’m going to see about taking you home <em>today</em>,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m <em>sorry</em> you had to hear all of that. I thought <em>better</em> of them.”</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed, but didn’t say anything. He kept quiet as Elim took them both back to the hospital room and proceeded to pack the bag with the personal things they had brought while swearing in Kardasi.</span>
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  <span>Kelas arrived quickly, having heard Elim’s angry swearing, “I <em>thought</em> you were having a staff meeting while Julian napped?” Kelas asked in an alarmed voice, his eyes wide. “<em>What</em> are you doing?”</span>
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  <span>“I am taking Julian <em>home</em> and then arranging to work from home for as long as I have my job!” Elim snapped angrily. “I <em>love</em> Julian and I don’t care what others think of me! I don’t care if I get fired for it, but I<em> am</em> going to work from home as much as possible so I can be there for him as he needs me!”</span>
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  <span>Kelas looked stunned, “Does this have anything to do with your outburst in the garden?” he asked, having heard the yelling and seen the throwing of PADD’s before the table was upended and broken.</span>
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  <span>“Elim, <em>please</em>, I’d like to rest,” Julian spoke in a tired voice. “We don’t <em>have</em> to do this now.”</span>
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  <span>Elim sighed, “Then you rest and I will handle <em>everything</em>,” he replied softly. “I want you home with me even if we have to ration food and scrape by to survive. As long as we are <em>together</em>, we will survive.”</span>
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  <span>Nodding, Julian went back to sleep simply because he knew there was no arguing with Elim when he was determined about something. That, and he honestly didn’t have the energy to do anything but agree with what Elim wanted. Julian just didn’t want Elim to someday regret the choices he had made.</span>
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  <span>After nearly two hours of arguing with Kelas about homecare procedures, allowing Julian to use the bathroom, and overpaying for a skimmer that was hoverchair friendly, Elim and Julian arrived back home. The fact that the Bashir-Garak household was a bungalow with no stairs would make having a hoverchair in the house easier and Julian could operate the chair himself if he needed to, but he was to use it as often as possible.</span>
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  <span>The skimmer ride home had been long, however, and Julian was perfectly content with resting in the chair holding Kukulaka while Elim operated the chair with the duffel slung over his shoulder. Per Kelas’s instructions, Julian was not allowed to lift anything heavier than ten pounds for six weeks.</span>
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  <span>As they entered the house, the comm terminal began making noise that indicated the presence of unanswered messages, but Elim ignored it, “Would you like some tea and toast?” he asked kindly. “Kelas said you can and should try eating something light before you sleep. I <em>know</em> you’re tired…”</span>
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  <span>“Shouldn’t you check your messages?” Julian asked quietly, frowning. “They might be…”</span>
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  <span>Elim scoffed indignantly, “<em>Nothing</em> is more important than <em>you</em>, my dear,” he replied indignantly as he moved the hoverchair into their bedroom and quickly arranged Julian’s side of the bed. “I’m going to put you in bed and then I will go to the kitchen. We’ll have a nice, light meal together…”</span>
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  <span>“Do you mind if I sleep until the meal’s ready?” Julian asked groggily. “I’m <em>so</em> very tired.”</span>
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  <span>Elim helped Julian into bed and settled Kukulaka next to him before covering him up. He moved the hoverchair a safe distance from the bed before going into the kitchen and seeing what they had to eat.</span>
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  <span>“Broth and tea will probably be best, considering that’s <em>all</em> we have right now,” Elim muttered anxiously as he found some red leaf tea and some soup rations in one of the cupboards. “Maybe I can get to the grocer tomorrow or pay Kelas to go so I can stay here. Groceries are usually <em>Julian’s</em>…”</span>
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  <span>Swallowing hard, Elim sighed and put some rations and tea on the stove to boil before he went over to the communications terminal to check his messages. It wasn’t fair to blame Julian for the fact that he had forgotten to go to the grocer before the surgery, as he obviously hadn’t anticipated such severe complications that would require him to stay in the hospital for five days. It <em>wasn’t </em>Julian’s fault.</span>
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  <span>Every single member of his staff had sent him a message, all of them expressing concern about his behavior at the impromptu staff meeting. All of them admitted to sending messages requesting meetings with the Castellan in order to discuss their concerns; they anticipated that he, Elim Garak, would be charged with dereliction of duty and disloyalty to the state because of recent decisions. That is what the messages were basically accusing him of, Elim reflected bitterly.</span>
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  <span>On top of those discouraging messages, Elim saw that he had gotten several nasty messages from Guls, Glinns, and Legates from other cities about his disgraceful behavior at the dinner party. Elim knew that the messages were mostly from those who had survived the war and considered him weak and a traitor for working with Damar and Kira during the war. Most of the messages were petty bits of garbage and Elim knew that most who hated him were <em>resentful</em> of the fact that he had been made a Legate as a result of his service in the war and they also <em>hated</em> the fact that he had married a Human Augment.</span>
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  <span>Still, government protocols <em>demanded</em> that the Castellan take all complaints seriously and Elim knew that such a high amount of serious complaints could get him dismissed from his government positions. With Julian not allowed to work for at least the next month and him potentially facing dismissal, they were in a <em>tough</em> spot.</span>
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  <span>The food became ready fairly quickly and Elim shut the computer off before busying himself preparing portions for the both of them. He grabbed a tray from another cupboard and set everything up on it.</span>
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  <span>Julian was asleep when Elim made it back to the room with the tray, “My dear, food,” Elim said softly.</span>
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  <span>“It looks <em>lovely</em>,” Julian responded as he woke and shakily sat up. “You’re <em>incredibly</em> good to me.”</span>
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  <span>Elim sat in his spot and set the tray between them, smiling as they began to eat. Even if they lost <em>everything</em> else because others couldn’t mind their own business, they would have each other and they <em>would</em> find a way to survive together.</span>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Truth, Courage, and Grace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was three days before Elim had mustered up the courage to tell Julian the truth. In those three days, Elim’s workplace colleagues and even individuals who worked in other regions had all sent him messages stating their intent to talk to the Castellan about his obvious dereliction of duty. Elim hadn’t replied to <em>any</em> of the messages; he had focused solely on helping Julian be as comfortable as possible.</p><p> </p><p>The day had been a quiet one. Elim sat in bed with Julian, who had improved enough to be able to read full-length novels with the help of special glasses Kelas had prescribed to ease the stress on his brain. They had shared breakfast in bed, as Julian wasn’t strong enough to sit at the table yet, and now they were resting. Guilt and anxiety, however, were gnawing at Elim enough to make him want to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“Julian, do you remember the chat we had about trust and honesty?” Elim asked in a quiet voice, his expression somber as he looked at Julian. “I’m afraid I’ve been <em>keeping</em> things from you…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian frowned and quickly set his novel on his lap before shifting Kukulaka to his knees to keep him from getting squashed, “I’m not surprised,” he replied in a quiet voice. “You’ve been <em>very</em> quiet over the past three days and that’s <em>unusual</em> for you. I’m assuming, though, you’re ready to discuss it now?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been getting a lot of grief and threats from my staff and government workers in other regions,” Elim explained in a subdued voice, sighing. “My choosing to take a month off from the office to look after you has caused other Cardassians to accuse me of disloyalty to the state and dereliction of duty.”</p><p> </p><p>A troubled expression filled Julian’s face, but he didn’t say anything, “Multiple government officials have told me they are either conversing with the Castellan or making appointments with the Castellan to discuss their <em>concerns</em> about me,” Elim explained. “Dereliction of duty and disloyalty to the state are <em>very serious</em> accusations and the Castellan is obliged to take such complaints very seriously. At worst, I could go to jail or be exiled again and at best, I would be dismissed from my government positions.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian’s face fell and he exhaled, “Elim, I <em>did</em> offer to go to the care center until my treatments were complete so you could go to work,” he replied in a quiet voice. “I was <em>afraid </em>this would happen.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I told you you’re <em>not</em> doing that,” Elim replied firmly. “I need absolutely <em>nothing</em> except you.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed before slowly getting up,  revealing that he was wearing a simple blue tunic, dark pants, and simple house shoes, “I can take myself to treatment, Elim,” he spoke in a quiet voice as he made his way over to his hoverchair. “Maybe if you go in and apologize, all of this will go away.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim got up from the bed just in time to see Julian stumble and nearly fall. He hurried over and helped Julian into the wheelchair, but Julian promptly burst into tears because his inability to even walk properly without assistance frustrated him. Sighing, Elim gently pulled Julian against him and held him tenderly for several moments. Emotional reactions, they had been told, were part of Julian’s condition.</p><p> </p><p>Once Julian was done crying, Elim gathered their identification and credit chips from the dresser, put them in his pockets, and then put both Julian’s book and Kukulaka in Julian’s lap because those things would keep him occupied during the treatment, “I’m coming with you,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice. “I thought we might walk today since the weather’s so nice and the fresh air might help us both.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, but gave a nod of his head simply because he didn’t have the strength to argue. He felt immensely guilty about being so reliant on Elim, but he knew trying to protest his husband’s help would only result in more fighting. When he was well again, Julian thought, things would be easier.</p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>It turned out that Julian’s book and glasses would be quite useless during the treatment, as he would need to lay still in a comfortable biobed while Kelas himself administered the treatment. Elim was gratified that despite being the head of the hospital, Kelas had cleared his schedule and intended to treat Julian personally. During the walk over, Julian had insisted twice more that he go to work, but…</p><p> </p><p>“Are you comfortable, Doctor Julian?”</p><p> </p><p>Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Elim looked over at the bed and froze at seeing Julian laying flat with a neural monitor on his person and a blanket over his thin body. Kelas was sitting beside the bed and arranging a variety of medical instruments on a tray. Julian’s glasses were in Elim’s pocket, as was the book, as there was not room for either of those items on the tray. It was no bother to Elim, however, to keep hold of the items. Kukulaka was held tightly by Julian and that’s all that really mattered.</p><p> </p><p>“As much as I can be,” Julian replied in a tired voice, sighing softly. “How much will this hurt?”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas studied the tablet map of Julian’s brain that the neural monitor was providing briefly before he picked up an instrument from the table and began to work quietly, “If you wish to sleep during the treatment, that’s perfectly all right,” he spoke calmly. “It’s going to make you feel <em>very</em> tired and it might trigger some headaches and pain, but all that will subside as your brain begins to feel better.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian closed his eyes, “This will take several hours if you wanted to go to the office,” he spoke softly, having been briefed by Kelas about the procedure upon arriving at the hospital. “<em>Please</em>, Elim…”</p><p> </p><p>“I will <em>contact</em> the office through the hospital library, but I will <em>not</em> be leaving the premises until you are ready to leave,” Elim replied firmly. “Now, <em>sleep</em>. Kelas if there are problems, have me paged.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas muttered something in Kardasi and Elim took his leave, not stopping until he reached the hospital library. He settled himself at a computer terminal and quickly accessed his messages, unsurprised by the fact that even more malicious messages filled his inbox. He let out a weak sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“My love for Julian is <em>stronger</em> than all of this pettiness,” Elim reminded himself. “He <em>is</em> enough.”</p><p> </p><p>Swallowing hard, Elim closed his eyes and gently massaged his ridges to relax his anxieties. Julian was enough for him, but was he enough for Julian if all came crashing down around them?</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, excuse me, I didn’t realize anyone was in here,” a gentle, familiar voice suddenly spoke.</p><p> </p><p>Elim turned to see the Castellan’s wife, Lady Myrina Maratt, standing in the doorway of the hospital library holding a large box that was sealed by tape. Myrina was a half-Human, Half-Bajoran individual who was famous on Cardassia for helping to restore damaged art and cultural artefacts in the early days of Cardassia’s restoration. She had attended university and had been friends with Ziyal, but had been outcasted by most Bajorans for her friendship with the girl. During the war, Myrina had defied authorities and had smuggled as many pieces of art and cultural artefacts into hidden places as she could in memory of Ziyal’s passion for it. She had been caught and injured, but managed to survive.</p><p> </p><p>“Legate Garak, hello!” Myrina spoke in a warm voice, her smiling illuminating the deep blue pantsuit and dark shoes she was wearing. “I didn’t realize you were working at the hospital today?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, the sight of Myrina’s smile and dark curly hair the only reason he didn’t break down crying from the stresses in his life, “I…I’m <em>not</em> working,” he managed to stammer softly. “In fact, I’m potentially facing charges of dereliction of duty and disloyalty to the state. I thought you knew?”</p><p> </p><p>“People talk, but it <em>doesn’t</em> mean I always have to listen,” Myrina replied calmly. “So it’s <em>true</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded and eyed the box, “What’s all that?” he asked in a confused voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Finished projects,” Myrina replied calmly. “If you’re <em>not</em> working, <em>what</em> are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim exhaled, “Julian…had <em>unexpected</em> complications during the hysterectomy,” he spoke in a timid, shaky voice, his expression filled with grief as he closed his eyes. “He survived a Lethean attack back when he was about 30 years old and it affected his brain’s abilities. He’s not well right now and Doctor Parmak is treating him neurologically. Julian told me to go to the <em>office</em> during his treatment, but…”</p><p> </p><p>“Julian…survived an attack from a <em>Lethean</em>?!” Myrina replied in a stunned voice, her eyes wide.</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded, “Do you need help unpacking your finished projects?” he asked, suddenly eager for something to do within the hospital walls that would take his mind off of Julian for a bit.</p><p> </p><p>Myrina looked surprised, but nodded as she removed the tape and opened the box to reveal some restored books, art pieces, and small pieces of decorative art, “I could use some help decorating here and around the hospital,” she spoke gently, seeing Elim’s need to keep himself happily distracted.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Wonderful</em>,” Elim replied, offering a smile as he opened his eyes to face her. “I’d <em>love</em> to help.”</p><p> </p><p>******</p><p> </p><p>It had taken Elim and Lady Myrina several hours to decorate the library and other areas of the hospital with what she had brought with her, but it helped Elim’s mood immensely. Elim had managed to keep himself from crying about Julian’s health and had also managed to answer Lady Myrina’s questions about their situation with the grace expected from a Glinn and Legate. Lady Myrina had been insatiably curious about Julian's illness, which was natural because she and her Castellan husband had always been fond of Julian and the diversity he added to Cardassia. After the work was done, Elim returned to the treatment room feeling and looking calmer. Kelas was standing beside the bed where Julian lay sound asleep.</p><p> </p><p>“Julian slept through the whole thing, Elim,” Kelas explained upon spotting him. “How are you?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed and made his way to Julian’s bedside, gently touching his mate’s hand to see if it would stir the younger man, “<em>Elim</em>?” Julian asked in a groggy voice even though he didn’t open his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here, my dear,” Elim spoke in a kind voice. “I got some very valuable work done.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed sleepily, “Can we go home yet?” he asked tiredly. “I just want to be at home with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas promptly brought the wheelchair over to the bedside, “If you’re feeling up to going home, you can,” he spoke in a kind voice, smiling. “I want you in bed for the rest of the day unless you need the bathroom, but you’re <em>not</em> to use it without assistance. I also want you to eat a decent supper.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian opened his eyes and groaned weakly as he slowly sat up, “Come, my dear, I’ll help you,” Elim spoke in a gentle voice, taking hold of Julian’s trembling body. “Just go nice and slow…”</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t take long to settle Julian back in the wheelchair and Elim gently placed Kukulaka on his lap, “I’ll see you at the end of the week for the next treatment,” Kelas spoke calmly. “All right?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded and silently pushed the hoverchair from the room, his confidence in his ability to be a good spouse rising as they emerged from the hospital. Even though it was late afternoon, the air was still warm and the sun was still out. Each step back towards home made Elim’s heart feel lighter.</p><p> </p><p>The streets between the hospital and their home were quiet, as most families and individuals had completed work and school for the day and were now indulging in private time. Julian, of course, was asleep and the quiet gave Elim an opportunity to take in nature’s beauty as he walked through the city.</p><p> </p><p>Soon enough, they were home and it was very little trouble for Elim to simply take Julian to the safety of their room. He gently lifted Julian from the chair and tucked him into bed before transferring Kukulaka into the man’s arms. Julian let out a weak moan, but didn’t wake from his deep sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Once the hoverchair was set aside, Elim went into the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards and refrigeration unit for several minutes before finding two rations of sand peas, water tablets, a bottle of yamok sauce, some applesauce, and two rations of Sem'hal stew. They were the <em>last</em> of the rations, so Elim knew he needed to find a way to get to the grocer the next day or else give up the energy ration he used for a shower to replicate things until he could get to the grocer. He would be able to get groceries if he could tear himself away from Julian long enough to go shopping, as he kept all their money secure in the house where only they could find it. The problem was, Elim thought, was <em>finding an opportunity.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Incoming call from Cardassian Central Command</em>,” the computer suddenly chirped. “<em>Marked urgent</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim scoffed and lumbered over to the computer, sighing as he turned on the screen only to see Gul Marak appear on the screen sporting a smirk, “<em>My dear Elim, how are you and that ridiculous husband of yours?” Gul Marak asked coyly. “I know it’s fun and games for you to skip work to play with your pet Human, but you are a pure disgrace to us. Castellan Maratt is not going to take kindly to your</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Cursing in Kardasi, Elim ended the call and went about warming the food while adding the purifying tablets to glasses of water he got from the sink. The house was Tain’s and it had been <em>bequeathed</em> to him after the war, so even if he and Julian both ended up jobless and completely reliant on their garden for food for the next little while, they would have a roof over their head and enough to keep them filled.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Incoming messages from Cardassian Central Command and Detapa Council</em>,” the computer stated.</p><p> </p><p>Irritation filled Elim’s expression, “Computer, please send the following replies to both the Cardassian Central Command and the Detapa Council,” he spoke firmly. “I am currently on leave from my duties within the office, but I am still doing work at home. I will respond to messages when I have time.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Replies sent to Cardassian Central Command and Detapa Council</em>,” the computer chirped.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing softly, Elim collected the food from the warmer, portioned it into bowls, got the water, arranged everything on a tray, and took it to the bedroom. Julian was awake, but looked as if he didn’t have the strength to sit up, let alone feed himself without making a mess, “My dear, I’m going to <em>feed</em> you tonight since you’ve had such a rough time with the treatment,” Elim said softly. “All right?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian didn’t protest and accepted each spoonful with grace, a grace that Elim freely gave out of love.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Collision</h2></a>
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  <span>Two days after Julian’s first treatment, Elim was asleep on his side of the bed and feeling so relieved that he could finally rest for the first time in a long time. He was emotionally and physically exhausted from caring for Julian and from the excessive messages from others.</span>
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  <span>Noise suddenly filled the air and Elim froze as he woke up in a flash, grabbing his knife from his bedside table. He rose and immediately worried; had someone broken into the house?</span>
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  <span>Terror filled Elim’s entire being until he turned and saw that the other side of the bed was empty and that the wheelchair sat untouched. <em>Julian was awake and up. What was he doing out of bed?</em></span>
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  <span>Swallowing hard, Elim returned the knife to the table and silently made his way through the house until he reached the kitchen. Julian was seated at the kitchen table clad in dark pants, a clean tan tunic, and outdoor boots. His hair was a mess and he was bent over a PADD, silently working as intensely as he did when managing medical research or work at home. Pieces of a broken glass lay on the floor at Julian’s feet around a small puddle of purified water.</span>
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  <span>“Julian, you <em>should</em> be in bed,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice. “Kelas told you to take it <em>easy</em>.”</span>
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  <span>Julian scoffed, “Pause entry,” he murmured, a slight tremble in his weak voice as he looked up at Elim, revealing reddened eyes and his special glasses. “Kelas <em>doesn’t</em> know that you can’t grocery shop to save your life because you <em>hate</em> that kind of thing and he also doesn’t know that our cupboards are <em>completely</em> bare. I’m making a list of what we need and I <em>will</em> go shopping…”</span>
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  <span>The tremble in Julian’s voice concerned Elim deeply. A trembling voice meant Julian was tired from doing whatever he had been doing while up and he had obviously been crying while doing it, per the redness in his eyes. Elim was also certain that the broken glass on the floor meant that Julian had tried helping himself to a glass of water at some point, but his motor skills weren’t yet stable. Further evidence of his weakened motor skills was plain by the fact that he was compiling a list verbally.</span>
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  <span>“<em>Julian</em>…I’m not <em>sure</em> you’re up for that,” Elim spoke in as gentle a voice as he could muster.</span>
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  <span>Julian scoffed, “I have to walk a <em>little</em> to help my body heal from the hysterectomy and it’s a warm day,” he replied tersely, his voice shaking. “Even if I have to knock you out with a tranquilizer so you can’t stop me from leaving the house, I <em>am</em> going to do this.”</span>
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  <span>Elim frowned, unsure what to do because he was unsettled by the fact that Julian’s emotional stability was degrading with each day that passed. Julian <em>never</em> used physical violence, but he would threaten it, cry, swear, and berate the situation constantly. He even went as far to trash his humanity and openly trashed his parents for how he was. It was so very <em>unsettling.</em></span>
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  <span>“Would you allow me to come with you?” Elim finally asked nervously. “Just for company?”</span>
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  <span>Julian exhaled, his expression suddenly troubled, “Elim, I’ve been such a <em>burden</em> on you and your life,” he spoke in a trembling voice. “I won’t let you lose <em>everything</em> because of me. I <em>want </em>you to go to your office today and do your <em>job</em>. I can use the hoverchair on my own.”</span>
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  <span>Instead of responding, Elim fetched the broom and dustpan from the cleaning closet and cleaned up the glass on the floor. Julian looked back down at his list, but didn’t take a breath until the glass had been recycled and the cleaning supplies put away. He sighed weakly, tears in his eyes.</span>
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  <span>“I <em>couldn’t</em> hold a glass or even comb my hair because my hands find it too <em>hard</em>,” Julian spoke in a quiet, trembling voice that was filled with grief. “It seems like the treatments are making my brain <em>worse</em> in the process of making it better. Kelas <em>warned</em> me that it might seem that way…Oh, <em>God</em>.”</span>
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  <span>Elim watched as Julian let the PADD drop from his hands to the table before lowering his head in shame. As quiet sobs filled the air, Elim excused himself and came back to the kitchen a moment later carrying Julian’s hairbrush, hair conditioner, and a clean glass of water. He set the glass on the table, dipped it in the glass, put some hair conditioner on it, and began to gently style Julian’s messy hair into something presentable. Julian’s sobs slowly faded, but he stayed quiet.</span>
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  <span>“Julian, I have a <em>compromise</em> to offer that will allow you your dignity and allow me reassurance,” Elim spoke calmly. “I will take you to the store in the hoverchair and <em>if</em> you’re feeling up to it, you can walk <em>in</em> the store with your hands firmly on the cart handle. <em>You</em> can point out what we need and <em>I</em> will get it off the shelves. If you get tired or in pain…”</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed, “All right,” he conceded quietly, rubbing his face as he slowly lifted his head. "I...I accept."</span>
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  <span>Nodding, Elim finished with Julian’s hair and set the brush on the table before sighing softly.</span>
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  <span>The grocery store, which was less than a mile from their home, was quiet when they arrived. </span>
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  <span>Julian had allowed Elim to push him to the store in the hoverchair, but no further than that. He was now walking up and down the aisles with his hands firmly on a cart handle and Elim at his side. The hoverchair was at the customer service area and quite accessible if an emergency arose simply because Elim had threatened to dismember the workers if <em>anything</em> happened to the chair.</span>
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  <span>Elim did as he promised and plucked whatever Julian requested off of the shelves as they walked and Julian did his best to remain calm even though he was <em>deeply</em> embarrassed that he, a 42 year old highly accomplished physician, needed such intense assistance with simple tasks because his brain was in the process of being fixed through treatments that were temporarily incapacitating his ability to function. Nevertheless, he was <em>grateful</em> for Elim.</span>
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  <span>The two were so engrossed in just simply getting what they needed so they could finish up and get home that they didn’t notice others enter the store. Those others were Guls from the same office where Elim worked, but they were all underneath him. Elim was their Legate and they <em>all</em> hated him; they <em>hated</em> that he had simply swooped in and had been rewarded for petty things. They had spent their personal time over the past few days at the local dive bar getting drunk on as much kanar as they could pay for and Gul Marak had used the opportunity to <em>trash</em> Legate Garak and his pet human as disgraces to Cardassia.</span>
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  <span>That day, however, the group had simply come from the office after altering their time-clocks so they’d get paid for hours they didn’t work. Gul Marak was among them and had been friends with Guls Tylen, Elias, Edeil, Hatan, and Smakal since childhood. They had served their State with pride before and after the war, but their pride was now wounded and they blamed both Legate Elim Garak and his strange alien husband for having to be less than true Cardassians.</span>
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  <span>“Isn’t that Legate Garak and his strange alien <em>pet</em>?” Gul Tylen asked softly, his expression one of disgust as he spotted Elim and Julian walking together. “I <em>thought</em> you said Garak took time off work, Gul Marak?”</span>
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  <span>Gul Marak’s eyes narrowed as he too spotted Elim and Julian and he promptly stormed over to the two of them, “So you really <em>did</em> just skive off work to play with your <em>pet</em>!” he spoke in an angry voice, glaring at the two of them. “Elim, <em>this</em> is enough evidence to get you discharged! I should visit the Castellan right now and tell him of your lies, you <em>worthless little</em>...”</span>
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  <span>Suddenly feeling angry, Julian moved in front of Elim with a scowl on his face even though he knew he wasn’t currently in a condition to fight any of the Guls. As soon as he let go of the cart, he could feel his body weakening considerably. Gul Marak, however, smirked and waited as the other Guls assembled beside him, “You want to <em>fight</em>?” he asked coldly. "<em>You</em>?!"</span>
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  <span>“<em>Not particularly</em>,” Julian replied coldly, glaring at them. “However, to <em>protect </em>Elim, I will.”</span>
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  <span>Elim frowned, “Julian, <em>really</em>, you don’t <em>have</em> to defend me…” he spoke worriedly, worried that Julian would hurt himself.</span>
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  <span>“<em>Look</em> at the pet and master arguing!” Gul Marak crowed before shoving Julian away from him and Elim, causing him to trip and fall to the floor. “Go away, wittle baby puppy. Crawl back to your pit like the useless little…”</span>
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  <span>Elim glared at Gul Marak as Julian lay on the floor with a hand on his healing abdomen because the fall had triggered some pain, “Finish that thought, Gul Marak, and I’ll make <em>sure</em> you never talk again,” Elim growled, glaring daggers at him. “<em>Assaulting</em> a Legate’s spouse is a <em>crime!</em>”</span>
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  <span>“Yes, but how much longer will you be a Legate and a Glinn once I tell Castellan Marratt that you took off work to <em>play</em> with your <em>pet</em>?” Gul Marak asked coldly. “Your <em>simple-minded</em>…”</span>
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  <span>Letting out an angry roar, Elim decked Gul Marak hard in the face, sending the Gul against a shelf before he hit the ground in a heap. The other Guls suddenly paused and their eyes widened; they had never seen Elim Garak get so <em>infuriated</em> before.</span>
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  <span>“Legate Garak, your Human is doing something <em>strange</em>,” Gul Elias spoke in a confused voice, his eyes narrowing in confusion. “It looks like he’s dancing on the floor while throwing up…”</span>
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  <span>Elim turned and was horrified to see Julian convulsing violently on the floor while puking. He swore anxiously and drew his disruptor pistol on the other Guls, “Help me get Julian to the hospital <em>right now</em> or none of you will <em>live</em> to see another day!” he ordered angrily, his expression <em>murderous</em>. “I took time off to care for him because he’s <em>ill</em> and you are <em>all</em> responsible for this mess! Anyone who tries to run or fight me will be <em>shot</em> and I could even go so far as to kill! NOW MOVE IT!"</span>
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  <span>Guls Edeil, Hatan, and Smakal took off at top speed to alert the city’s emergency services using the store computer while Gul Tylen pulled his own disruptor pistol and pointed it at Gul Marak, “I didn’t <em>want</em> to believe the things I heard about you, Marak,” Gul Tylen said coldly. "You <em>assaulted</em> a Legate's spouse just because you didn't like him? Maybe the rumors <em>were</em> true."</span>
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  <span>A weak groan filled the air as Julian suddenly stopped seizing and Elim pocketed his disruptor pistol before kneeling beside Julian, “Julian?” Elim asked in a concerned voice. “Julian?”</span>
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  <span>“<em>Elim</em>…” Julian replied in a faint, pain-filled voice even though his eyes remained closed and his body remained limp.</span>
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  <span>Gul Marak attempted to get up with the intention of bolting before he could be held responsible for starting the fight, but Gul Tylen’s glare and the noise of the disruptor being prepped to fire were enough to keep him on the floor. Elim, meanwhile, was trying to make Julian as comfortable as possible while making sure nobody stole the groceries they intended to buy.</span>
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  <span>“<em>Elim, </em>I’m <em>sorry</em>,” Julian mumbled semi-consciously. “I…I’m <em>sorry..</em>.”</span>
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  <span>Elim responded by gently stroking Julian’s hair, hoping that help would come very quickly and that Julian would be all right.</span>
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  <span>The store was still a mess, no doubt, and the staffers were most likely upset over the brawl that had gone on, but Elim didn’t care. He had given Gul Marak what had been <em>rightfully</em> earned. He was now lingering outside the emergency care room where Kelas had been seeing to Julian for the last several hours since the brawl, deeply concerned for Julian’s health more than anything. If anyone <em>was</em> trying to contact him about the incident at the store, Elim didn't care to know. </span>
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  <span>“Elim, Julian’s awake and asking for you,” a gentle voice suddenly spoke, breaking the silence that had lingered for hours.</span>
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  <span>Elim looked up from the floor and nodded at Kelas, not saying a word as they went into the emergency care room together. Julian was sitting up on the biobed looking tired and sore whilst resting his hands on his abdomen, “Elim, I <em>embarrassed</em> you,” Julian spoke in a pained voice, closing his eyes because he couldn’t bear to look him in the face. “I made a <em>spectacle</em>…”</span>
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  <span>“<em>No</em>, my dear, <em>never</em> will you embarrass me,” Elim replied reassuringly as he sat on the biobed and took Julian into his arms, gently fluffing his dark hair as he spoke to him in soothing tones. “You were <em>quite</em> brave to want to fight Gul Marak for me, but I don’t like it when you risk your health and you did. Now, does Kelas want to keep you overnight?”</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed groggily as Elim released him from the embrace, “I can recover just as well at our house as long as I don’t get in any more brawls in the middle of the grocery shop,” he replied sleepily. “Kelas said I’m just bruised up.”</span>
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  <span>“<em>Badly</em> bruised,” Kelas corrected gently, sighing. “Elim, did you go give a statement?”</span>
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  <span>Elim scoffed and shook his head, “If Julian’s well enough to leave, I’m going to take him home and make sure he gets a <em>good</em> rest,” he replied irritably. “The store was courteous enough to finish the shopping and have it delivered to our home, so we’ll at least have things to eat…”</span>
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  <span>“Since you left the hoverchair at the shop, I can beam the both of you home,” Kelas offered in a concerned voice. “Elim, you <em>know</em> the Ministry of Justice requires a statement any time there…”</span>
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  <span>Elim helped Julian to his feet, “Kelas, I could <em>care less</em> what the Ministry of Justice wants from me at this moment in time,” he spoke sternly, sighing. “They’ll also want a statement from Julian, per incident protocols, but he’s not in <em>any</em> shape to give one. It can wait until he’s feeling better. You give a statement on his injuries if you must, but I will give one later.”</span>
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  <span>Kelas, who knew there was going to be <em>very</em> huge trouble over this fight, wanted to say more simply because he saw the couple as his friends and wanted to protect them from scrutiny. The sight of Elim doing all he could to keep the weakened Julian upright, however, prompted him to wisely keep his comments to himself. He instead focused on helping Elim get Julian to a transporter so they could go home and rest properly. Today had been unexpectedly <em>brutal</em> for them both and Kelas knew that his comments would simply stress Julian out and aggravate Elim's already frail nerves.</span>
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  <span>“<em>Incoming call from Cardassian Ministry of Justice</em>,” the computer chirped as Elim set up a heating pad on Julian’s side of their bed while Julian sat in his chair, drifting in and out of sleep.</span>
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  <span>Muttering in Kardasi, Elim finished setting up the heating pad before storming over to the computer terminal. He activated it and frowned when he saw a friendly acquaintance of his, Galenna Dastra of the Ministry of Justice, appear on the screen, “<em>Legate Garak, is this a bad time</em>?” she asked calmly.</span>
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  <span>“If this call is you wanting a conversation about the brawl in the grocery store, Galenna, can it wait until I’ve got Julian settled for the night?” Elim asked in a strained voice. “He was hurt <em>quite </em>badly and really does need comfortable rest. Or has Galen been spreading gossip already?”</span>
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  <span>Galenna looked surprised, “<em>Galen heard about the fight, yes, as your staff have been talking about it to anyone who will listen</em>,” she replied. “<em>It’s not every day that a Gul injures the spouse of a Legate in the grocery store and then gets beaten to a pulp by the Legate himself. Even the people at the hospital have heard about it and since Galen's on nightshift this week, he gets to hear all of the juicy gossip even if he doesn't want to. I, however, got the news from Doctor Kelas Parmak and he gave a statement to the effect that Gul Marak assaulted your husband and things escalated from there."</em></span>
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  <span>“I didn’t do <em>that much</em> damage,” Elim hissed. “He was <em>still</em> conscious when Julian and I left.”</span>
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  <span>Galenna looked amused, but Elim took advantage of the pause in the conversation to go over to Julian and gently move him from the wheelchair to atop the heating pad, “<em>There </em>you go, my dear,” Elim spoke gently, quickly covering Julian up. “You just have a good rest now.”</span>
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  <span>Julian murmured a quiet thanks and immediately relaxed into a deep sleep with his weak hands brushing against Kukulaka, who hadn't been moved from his spot in the bed because Elim knew it was important for Julian to have his teddy bear close at all times. Elim sighed as he returned to the communication terminal and sat down, “With <em>all</em> the <em>negative</em> reports that the Castellan has gotten about me, Galenna, I’m <em>surprised</em> that I still have my positions in the government.”</span>
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  <span>“<em>Legate Garak, my job as an officer for the Ministry of Justice includes handling incidents that happen within my district</em>,” Galenna spoke in a patient tone. “<em>As amusing as I find it that Gul Marak and his sadistic, narcissistic friends finally got humbled, I am required to do my job. That job includes handling this very unexpected, very violent situation.</em>”</span>
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  <span>Elim sighed, “So <em>what</em> happens now?” he asked in a subdued tone. “Besides me giving you a statement?”</span>
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  <span>“<em>I take your statement and forward it to the appropriate individuals along with the statements I have already collected regarding the incident</em>,” Galenna explained calmly. “<em>Gul Marak physically provoked Doctor Bashir-Garak, so the doctor also needs to give</em>…”</span>
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  <span>Elim nodded, “I <em>know</em> Julian needs to give a statement, but he’s <em>not</em> well enough to come all the way down to the Ministry of Justice to give one,” he explained in a distressed voice, his expression filled with concern. “He had some surgery and it produced complications that require extensive, exhausting treatments. I took a leave from the office to be with him, but <em>all of this</em>…”</span>
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  <span>Galenna’s expression softened, “<em>Legate, I had no idea things were so tough for you and Doctor Bashir-Garak right now</em>,” she spoke in a concerned voice. “<em>Did you tell your staff any of this</em>?”</span>
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  <span>“No,” Elim admitted in a quiet, tired voice. “We were managing <em>quite well</em> until all the things with Julian’s health happened. I love him <em>dearly</em>, but I fear I may be the only one who does. He's <em>too</em> sick to deal with the bigotry and I'm too <em>tired</em> to...”</span>
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  <span>Galenna nodded, “<em>Judging by the statements I received about the fight, I can see why you would feel that way</em>,” she replied calmly. “<em>That and previous statements given by Doctor Parmak and members of your staff regarding an incident at the Capital hospital a few days ago</em>…”</span>
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  <span>“Oh, so I broke a <em>few</em> PADDs and an <em>aged</em> table in the hospital garden,” Elim scoffed irritably, not even surprised that he had been put on report for that. “Gul Marek was <em>mocking</em> my husband and Julian heard <em>every</em> word. I’m <em>not</em> apologizing for that.”</span>
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  <span>Galenna sighed, “<em>I’d like to help you, Legate, as there were extenuating circumstances behind both incidents that could absolve you of responsibility and perhaps even get you both access to resources to assist you during this time</em>,” she spoke calmly, her expression concerned, but formal. “<em>What I need from you, however, is an explanation about Julian's health."</em></span>
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  <span>Elim paused and looked back at Julian’s sleeping form, wondering if he should simply be honest about Julian’s illness. Cardassians generally were not public about things like illness or injury simply because focusing on such struggles were viewed as a distraction from duty to the State. In all the years that he and Julian had been married, Julian had kept any sort of mental, emotional, or physical distress between the two of them simply for the sake of <em>preserving</em> Elim's important career.</span>
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  <span>Julian, however, had willingly <em>sacrificed</em> his career on Deep Space Nine, his rank, his Federation membership, his status as a respectable Federation doctor, and all that was familiar to him in order for them to be <em>togethe</em>r on Cardassia. He had done it without regret, anger, or any thought to what he had given up. Was he, Elim Garak, really so <em>selfish</em> that he could not sacrifice a little dignity and craving for privacy in order to help Julian gain <em>acceptance</em> and <em>help</em> from the people of Cardassia?</span>
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  <span>“<em>Legate Garak, it’s late and I can see you’re tired</em>,” Galenna suddenly spoke, causing Elim to look back at her. “<em>I’ll make time in my schedule to come visit your home for statements so that you and Doctor Bashir-Garak don’t have to make the trip down here. See you in a few days.”</em></span>
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  <span>The call ended and Elim muttered several curses in Kardasi before getting up from the terminal to change into pajamas. He changed, thought of going to bed, and suddenly found himself craving a quiet cup of red leaf tea in the garden alone. The plants needed checking anyway, he mused, and he had better hands when it came to handling the gardening.</span>
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  <span>It wasn’t much trouble to make himself a cup of tea and within mere minutes, Elim found himself out in the yard and looking over the steadily growing crops of food and flowers that were nourished by sun, soil, and daily water from an automatic sprinkler system that was on a timer.</span>
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  <span>Most of the food was growing on point and the weeds were minimal, but the flowers were another story. Elim was saddened and concerned to see that the roses, which usually bloomed quickly every year, were still firmly in their pods and looked as if they were beginning to sicken. The other flowers also looked as if they were sick from some unknown ailment or stress.</span>
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  <span>“I have a sick garden and a sick husband,” Elim mused in a quiet, somber voice as he sat on the garden box next to the roses. “I’m doing my best to love both, but I can’t save them from their illnesses. If I could save <em>only</em> one, I’d choose Julian. I will <em>always</em> choose Julian. He <em>is</em> enough and I feel <em>horrible</em> that he doesn't feel that way. I shall just have to <em>reassure</em> him.”</span>
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  <span>Even as he said those words, however, Elim wondered if his love <em>would</em> be enough to keep Julian wanting to endure his condition. Sighing heavily, Elim silently closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy his red leaf tea. They <em>would</em> survive; they <em>had</em> to survive…they <em>just had</em> to. In truth, Elim would <em>rather</em> lose the whole flower garden than lose Julian. Flowers could be easily replaced with a trip to the market, but there was only <em>one</em> Julian and if Elim lost <em>him</em> there was <em>no</em> point in living.</span>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Feelings and Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nearly four days after the incident at the grocery store, Elim was awoken by a knock at the door and was surprised to see Kelas and a colleague of his from the hospital, Dr. Galen Dastra, on the stoop. The two were carrying medical kits that one would normally use to treat people who didn’t have access to a clinic or wouldn’t go to one. Elim knew Julian had a similar kit in the closet that hadn’t been used since he stopped working in the tents or outside of the Capital.</p><p> </p><p>“Kelas, Galen, what are you two doing here at such an <em>ungodly</em> hour?” Elim asked groggily.</p><p> </p><p>Galen, a dark-haired Cardassian who was roughly a few years older than Julian and had helped Kelas train Julian in Cardassian medicine, raised an eyebrow, “Really, is that any way to say good morning to someone who has come to help your husband or are you still juiced up from the fight at the grocer?” he asked quietly, his voice deep and tranquil. “Is Doctor Julian even up?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No</em>, he’s still in bed,” Elim replied cautiously. “Exactly what <em>help</em> have you come to offer?”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas sighed, “I discussed the case with Galen after yesterday’s events and he thinks the treatment might have been too <em>intense</em> for Julian,” he explained. “Galen has some <em>ideas</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>“Come in and sit in the living room,” Elim interrupted tiredly. “Do <em>not</em> try to steal anything.”</p><p> </p><p>The two doctors came into the house and settled themselves in hand-crafted chairs near the fireplace that Elim and Julian had built themselves to get through the harsher parts of Cardassian winters. On the mantle sat two knives and a picture of Elim and Julian on their wedding day nearly six years earlier: the two were dressed in simple white tuxedos and sitting together on a rock that overlooked the lake where the wedding and reception had been held. Elim’s arm was around Julian and Julian’s head was resting on Elim’s shoulder. Both were smiling and appeared content with the decision that they had made that day.</p><p> </p><p>The celebrations, Kelas remembered, had taken place at the lake just outside of New Lakaria and the photos had been taken by a very enthusiastic Jake Sisko. Kelas, Galen, and the colleagues that Elim could trust had all been invited to the party. Castellan Marratt had just been elected to office and had insisted on performing the ceremony as a welcoming gift to Julian, which Elim had begrudgingly agreed to. Julian’s only guests were Jake, Kira Nerys, his parents, and the O’Brien family. Time and trial had definitely worn Elim <em>and</em> Julian down, Kelas reflected. They were now older and this crisis had worn both of them down.</p><p> </p><p>“…I <em>can’t</em> move well,” a faint, groggy voice suddenly filled the air. “<em>Why</em> are they here?”</p><p> </p><p>A sigh filled the air, “My dear, <em>please</em> at least come speak to them,” Elim’s voice spoke. "They <em>won't</em> go away til you do."</p><p> </p><p>Several minutes passed before Elim returned to the living room helping Julian, who was clad in slippers, Terran sweatpants, a loose shirt, and a housecoat, walk across the floor. Galen and Kelas watched as Elim helped Julian to the couch and helped him sit. Julian leaned against Elim almost immediately while keeping his gaze, which was full of tiredness, on Kelas and Galen.</p><p> </p><p>“I may have overestimated your body’s ability to handle the treatment I prescribed,” Kelas spoke in a concerned voice, frowning at Julian worriedly. “Galen and I discussed your case last night during shift change and he thinks your body might do better with a more <em>medicinal</em> approach.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, “I haven’t had any seizures since the incident at the store, but my motor skills are still very much impaired and I’m tired a lot,” he admitted shakily. “Even <em>eating</em> is a chore.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kelas involved me because <em>unlike</em> him, I <em>have</em> worked among Humans and Humanoids before as part of my time in the Interspecies Medical Exchange prior to the war,” Galen explained, determined to get down to business. “Your brain the way it is because of the Lethean attack, Doctor Julian, will benefit more from <em>medication</em> than extensive neurotherapy sessions.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian frowned, “I <em>can’t</em> be fixed, can I?” he asked in a confused voice. “This damage…”</p><p> </p><p>“I simply can’t give you that answer yet because I <em>don’t</em> know,” Galen replied in a calm voice, sighing patiently. “Doctor Julian, people usually <em>die </em>from Lethean attacks and so you being a Carrier who survived it is <em>completely</em> unheard of. I don’t know yet if there <em>is</em> a cure for this.”</p><p> </p><p>A sad expression filled Julian’s face, “<em>Former</em> Carrier,” he corrected in a subdued voice.</p><p> </p><p>“It <em>doesn’t</em> define who you are as a person and I know it <em>hurts</em>, but a lot of Cardassians and other inhabitants of this planet who survived the war <em>cannot</em> reproduce naturally simply because they were hurt doing their duty to defend this planet,” Galen spoke in a calm, but firm voice, his expression kind. “<em>You</em> are doing your duty to this planet by serving as a healer.”</p><p> </p><p>Exhaustion suddenly overtook Julian and he drifted off, “Oh, <em>goodness</em>,” Kelas said softly, eyeing the two worriedly. “Elim, has Julian been doing that a lot since the seizure?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but it’s not any trouble to simply put him to bed where he’ll be comfortable,” Elim replied in a calm voice. “Our room is comfortable and it’s <em>private</em> in case anyone should come calling.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas and Galen exchanged a look and began speaking in Kardasi to one another. Elim, however, simply scooped Julian up off the couch and carried him to the privacy of the master bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>As Elim tucked Julian into bed, Galen came into the room with his kit, “If you don’t have any objections, Legate, I’d like to take a blood sample and administer some medication to Doctor Julian while he is asleep,” Galen explained. “I promise you that I will not need to wake him.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim reluctantly nodded and watched as Galen first took a blood sample and stored it securely in his kit before administering some medication via a hypospray to Julian’s neck. Surprisngly enough, Julian didn’t even stir; he remained in a deep sleep. Galen put the empty hypo away and then produced an old, Federation-looking tricorder from his bag.</p><p> </p><p>“Still using that <em>junk</em> the <em>Federation</em> left behind, Galen?” Elim asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Galen sighed, “I <em>know</em> you’re under a <em>lot</em> of stress, Legate, so I’ll <em>excuse</em> your snippiness,” he replied patiently as he ran the tricorder over Julian’s sleeping form. “Kelas wants to talk to you privately in the living room. I need to run some basic tests on Julian. He’ll be perfectly safe.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim stalked back into the living room and froze when he saw Kelas lingering at the mantle, silently studying the wedding picture that was there, “What <em>do</em> you <em>want</em>, Kelas?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“To <em>talk</em>,” Kelas replied in a patient voice, gazing at Elim. “Galenna mentioned that you <em>might</em> benefit from someone to talk to. She noted you were <em>quite aggravated</em> when she called you to discuss what happened at the grocer and she thought you might benefit from conversation.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed tiredly, “<em>Not</em> in the house,” he replied in a resigned voice. “In the garden.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas nodded, his expression patient as he followed Elim into the kitchen and out into the yard.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>“I <em>wish</em> the roses were faring better,” Elim murmured as he stood at the flowerbox holding the roses and watched as they continued to sicken. “Kelas, is <em>counseling</em> what Galenna recommended?”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas, who was sitting on a flowerbox that held other flowers, sighed, “Yes, she did,” he admitted in a calm voice. “She wanted someone to talk with you about how Doctor Julian’s situation is affecting <em>you</em>. I took the psychiatric training that the Federation offered to Cardassian doctors after the war, as did many other doctors here. Because I am your friend and Julian’s friend, she thought it would be <em>best</em> if we chat. This is very much a <em>family</em> situation.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, so Galenna’s looking for an <em>excuse</em> to tell the Castellan that I’m not <em>acting</em> Cardassian because my spouse is ill?” Elim asked coldly, glaring at Kelas. “Julian came here to help with restoration efforts because he simply wanted to see me again, but he <em>wanted </em>to stay even after the Federation stopped extending efforts. We were courting at the time and the Federation <em>didn’t</em> like the idea of a Starfleet doctor staying in a place that rejected invitations to join the Federation.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas looked thoughtful, but didn’t speak, so Elim kept talking, “They even went as far to force him back to Deep Space Nine by <em>arresting</em> him for <em>treason and beaming him away from the planet against his will while he was working in the clinics</em>, but he managed to come back to Cardassia three weeks later…albeit a little worse for wear,” Elim spat, his expression darkening with anger as he remembered what had happened back then. “Julian was <em>scarred</em> by the kidnapping, Kelas, and he resigned his Starfleet commission in a huge fit of anger once I was <em>able </em>to get him to actually <em>speak</em> again…”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>never</em> knew that,” Kelas admitted softly. “How did you manage to help him through it?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, “I was living here by the time he got back, so I simply let him stay with me and helped him to feel safe again,” he explained calmly, his expression somber. “It took some time and admitting to each other that we loved each other enough that what the Federation tried to do hurt both of us immensely. We ended up deciding that we best get enjoined as quickly as possible so that nobody could legally separate us again. The Castellan himself declared Julian a <em>protected citizen</em> of Cardassia and made me a <em>Legate</em> so I would be in a position to protect him better. I <em>lie</em> to others about why I was promoted. It’s <em>safer</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“And <em>that’s</em> why you’ve gotten so upset now?” Kelas observed softly, suddenly intrigued.</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded, relaxing his expression because anger did him no favors, “Everyone in politics knows that Julian is untouchable, but the mocking and what happened at the market makes me feel as if the haters are <em>trying</em> to <em>take him away</em> from me a <em>second time</em>,” he explained in a distressed, subdued voice. “I also feel like he’s slipping away from me because of this whole crisis with his health. I want to <em>murder</em> his parents for damaging him badly enough to leave him vulnerable to the Lethean attack that triggered this entire <em>mess</em>! I’m <em>scared</em> of losing him, Kelas!”</p><p> </p><p>Tears pricked Elim’s eyes and he suddenly found himself sobbing into his hands hard enough that he sank to his knees. Kelas’s eyes widened in surprise, but he remained very quiet simply because he could tell that this impromptu counseling session was helping Elim <em>immensely</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>love</em> Julian with <em>every fiber</em> of my being,” Elim spoke in a shaky voice as he rose and turned himself towards the wilting roses. “Are the roses <em>foreshadowing</em> what’s yet to come? I have <em>never</em> had problems with the roses before, but since Julian became unwell, they’re…”</p><p> </p><p>Exhaling anxiously, Elim dusted himself off and turned to face Kelas, “I suppose now that I’ve shared our <em>deepest</em> secret, shouted, and cried, I’ll be committed to one of those psychiatric centres the Federation set up?” he asked coldly. “What was the <em>point</em> of this conversation?”</p><p> </p><p>“To remind you that this situation is something that is affecting your <em>entire</em> family unit,” Kelas explained patiently. “Julian is the one <em>enduring</em> the condition, but you are <em>both</em> affected and very much <em>hurting</em> because of it. I’m not sure if Julian ever told you, but he himself took the same training I did and Deanna Troi actually spent time doing intake sessions with all of us to get to know who we were. She spent a <em>considerable</em> amount of time with Julian, though, and they had multiple chats if I remember correctly. Even back then, he was <em>very</em> anxious and fragile.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim frowned, as he had known about the psychiatry course, but he <em>hadn’t</em> known that Julian himself had seen Deanna Troi for extensive counseling. The restoration efforts had marked the official beginning of their courtship, but Deanna Troi and hospital restoration efforts hadn’t come until later on, just before the abduction. There had been too many other things needing attention before the actual restoration of buildings could happen and the Federation was tired by then; they wanted to pull out after giving all they could and then having their invitation to join refused.</p><p> </p><p>The Cardassians, Elim remembered, had responded to the Federation’s temper tantrum by electing a Castellan and a new government so that they wouldn’t have a <em>need </em>for the <em>pushy</em> Federation. Julian had been caught in the middle by being in a relationship with a Cardassian and because of how he handled himself with them, he was no longer considered a Federation ally.</p><p> </p><p>“Elim?” Kelas asked, watching his friend stare off into space. “Are you all right?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, “I don’t suppose I can make another appointment to talk with you more about my feelings at some point?” he found himself asking quietly. “Perhaps at the hospital…if I need to bring Julian there for Galen to treat him? I suppose it has affected me…more than I realized.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas nodded and Elim silently returned to the house, feeling slightly mollified.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>“…I’m <em>not</em> saying Kelas is <em>wrong</em> of course, as he really is a good doctor,” Galen’s voice filled the air as Elim and Kelas came into the master bedroom. “You just need a <em>gentler </em>treatment.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim stopped short when he saw Galen sitting on a chair beside the bed, silently putting a drip-box needle in Julian’s hand while Julian watched quietly. Julian himself was more awake and being propped upright by pillows with Kukulaka nestled securely in his other arm.</p><p> </p><p>Galen turned and eyed the two of them calmly, “You’ve been outside for nearly two hours in which time I’ve been able to do a basic exam, administer some treatment, and also explain to Doctor Bashir-Garak what needs to happen next,” he spoke calmly. “What <em>were</em> you two…?”</p><p> </p><p>“I believe Humans would call it a <em>counseling session</em>,” Elim replied in a calm voice.</p><p> </p><p>Julian raised an eyebrow, his expression one of deep surprise because he had never expected Elim Garak to admit to <em>needing </em>counseling. Galen, however, looked unsurprised at the admission and merely nodded before picking his bag up off of the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve <em>got</em> to get Julian eating and drinking more,” Galen said firmly. “He’s dehydrated and weak because the treatment hasn’t let him eat, but I <em>can’t</em> do <em>anything</em> new for him until he’s physically stronger. Also, get him out in the sun and fresh air more. It will help <em>immensely</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, “The store returned the hoverchair when they delivered the groceries, so I’ll fetch it out of the closet,” he promised in a sincere tone of voice. “I think a few walks would be <em>nice</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll check back in about a week to arrange for further treatment, but do what I said in the meantime,” Galen spoke firmly as he stood with his bag in hand. “I’ll see you later, Doctor.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, “Thank you, Doctor Dastra,” he replied softly. “Thank you, Doctor Parmak.”</p><p> </p><p>The two Cardassian doctors let themselves out of the house quietly and Elim locked the front door behind him before returning to the master bedroom. He silently sat on the edge of the bed and didn’t dare look at Julian, as he couldn’t <em>help</em> but wonder if Julian viewed him as lesser now.</p><p> </p><p>“Elim?” Julian asked softly, frowning at the way Elim’s back was to him and his shoulders were slumped in shame as if he had done something wrong by asking for help. “Elim, <em>talk</em> to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim, however, didn’t respond because he could hear Tain’s voice in his head, berating his <em>sentimentality</em> and <em>emotion </em>as <em>weaknesses</em> that should be <em>destroyed.</em> Counseling <em>had</em> helped him, yes, but what had it done for his relationship with Julian? Now that Julian knew about it, <em>what </em>would his reaction be to it?</p><p> </p><p>The bed suddenly shifted underneath Elim and he felt a familiar hand interlock with his own. He looked up and was surprised to see Julian sitting beside him with his other hand wrapped around the drip-box pole that Galen had left behind. Julian looked drained from the short walk, but he also looked concerned.</p><p> </p><p>“Elim, <em>please</em> don’t shut me out,” Julian spoke, his voice tired. “I know…I know you’re <em>hurting</em>…a <em>lot</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed as Julian leaned against him, “I told Kelas our<em> deepest</em> secret and how I felt like all that you put up with and your illness are <em>reminding</em> me of what happened,” he confessed, unable to resist Julian’s gentle, affectionate overtures. “You were <em>mute</em> for a while because of the experience and the way you’ve lost your motor skills and ability to do simple things now…it <em>hurts</em> and makes me worry so, <em>so</em> much…”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>wish</em> I could promise I’m going to be okay, but I <em>can’t</em>,” Julian admitted softly, sighing. “I’ll promise you this, though. I’ll <em>fight</em> every step of the way to respond to Galen’s treatments and your ministrations.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim squeezed Julian’s hand, “My dear, I still don’t know what trouble will come to us from what happened at the grocery store and I don’t want to impair your health further with all of it,” he spoke in a concerned voice, frowning at his husband worriedly. “Galenna told Kelas to come talk to me about my feelings, but I don’t know if that was just a step in preparing a report for Castellan Marratt to read.”</p><p> </p><p>“We are a couple and will <em>remain</em> a couple <em>no matter what</em>, Elim,” Julian spoke in a quiet, tired voice closing his eyes because the journey around the bed really had been too much. “I <em>promise </em>you that.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked at Julian and sighed, “I <em>love</em> you, Julian,” he spoke gently. “You’re so very <em>good</em> to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>love</em> you too, Elim,” Julian replied in a tired voice, relaxing considerably. “<em>Never </em>forget that.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed and gently hauled Julian to his feet, “I’ll get you back to bed and then make you a <em>nice</em> meal,” he spoke in a tender voice. “I’m <em>sure</em> you’ll get stronger with <em>time</em> and <em>love</em>, but rest for now.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian didn’t protest as he was settled back in bed, “We’ll endure this <em>together</em>,” Elim promised firmly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Together</em>,” Julian replied in a quiet, but firm voice as Elim gently planted a kiss on his forehead.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Communication and Reflections</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sight of Julian being able to pick up a glass without dropping it made Elim’s heart sing, as it meant that Julian’s hands were no longer useless. It was<em> only one</em> step in a course of many, however, before Julian would be well again if he would ever be. Julian still wasn’t able to do very much without assistance, but he insisted on sitting at the table with Elim like a family for every meal even if he had to be in the hoverchair. It was such a <em>simple</em> request, but made Elim feel better about things.</p><p> </p><p>Their routine over the past three days had been simple, yet exhilarating: they would wake early, Elim would give Julian a bath and then take a shower while Julian groomed himself and Elim would dress Julian and then dress himself. They would then share a decent-sized breakfast and work breakfast off by going into the yard and manually watering the plants together; Julian would hold the can in his lap and water everything while Elim pushed him round the garden in the hoverchair. Julian’s legs weren’t strong enough for him to be <em>completely</em> without the chair and he could move slowly around the house, but still used the chair for longer distances.</p><p> </p><p>By that point, Julian would be so tired that he would need to go to bed for a nap and Elim would indulge his desire without complaint. He would sleep for several hours and then they would spend the rest of the day reading Cardassian novels together between the rest of their meals.</p><p> </p><p>It was on the third day, while Julian napped, that Elim found himself sitting in their living room, reflecting on his conversation with Kelas and wondering if Julian might benefit from another conversation with Counselor/Commander Troi. Julian had been very open about how he felt about this whole situation and the potential ramifications of the fight of the grocery store, Elim knew, but it was almost <em>certain</em> that he was also holding back a bit so not to be overwhelming.</p><p> </p><p>A sigh escaped Elim’s lips as he walked over to the computer and sat. He quietly accessed Deanna Troi’s service record and was surprised to find that not only had Troi gotten married to a Starfleet Captain, she was now on the <em>U.S.S. Titan</em> with her new husband. As a Legate of Cardassia, Elim had the privilege of being able to reach out to certain individuals with a full expectation that he would be awarded with conversation if it was deemed a necessity.</p><p> </p><p>His leave of absence from work was still in effect, however, and there had been no word from the Castellan or the Ministry of Justice concerning his recent actions. Elim <em>knew</em> he had to tread carefully, but Julian’s need to talk to someone professional and trusted was <em>more important.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Computer, is it possible to contact the Captain of the U.S.S. Titan?” Elim asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>The computer beeped, “<em>Affirmative</em>,” it responded. “<em>Do you wish to execute action</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Elim spoke firmly. “I wish to speak with Captain Riker as soon as possible.”</p><p> </p><p>As the computer processed the request, Elim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The communication between himself and the Titan would most likely be detected by the Ministry of Justice and questioned, but Elim didn’t care. Kelas had implied that Julian had benefitted from professional counselling from Troi in the past and it was likely to be the case again, so Elim knew he <em>had</em> to use his authority to make sure his beloved was given everything he needed.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Contact initiated with Captain Riker of U.S.S. Titan</em>,” the computer suddenly responded.</p><p> </p><p>Elim opened his eyes just in time to see Captain Riker’s face appear on the screen, “<em>Legate Garak, it’s good to see you</em>,” Captain Riker spoke calmly. “<em>How are you doing?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“It’s very <em>strange </em>to hear someone from the Federation ask me how I’m doing considering what happened,” Elim admitted quietly, his expression neutral. “I was wondering if I might have a private word with Counselor Troi? She taught my husband a course on Cardassia…”</p><p> </p><p>A smile broke out on Captain Riker’s face, “<em>So you did marry Doctor Bashir!</em>” he replied eagerly. “<em>I remember when we were there, the two of you seemed so very much in love!</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, we’ve been enjoined about six years now,” Elim admitted calmly. “We decided to <em>legalize </em>things after he recovered from being abducted and held prisoner by Federation officials.”</p><p> </p><p>Captain Riker frowned, “<em>Abducted?!</em>” he replied. “<em>I’m not sure I know what you’re talking</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>“Shortly after Counselor Troi taught her course to medical professionals on Cardassia, the Federation <em>decided</em> to end its aid because Cardassia refused to join,” Elim explained in a quiet, somber voice, his expression solemn as he remembered. “Julian, however, wanted to stay here because he had <em>every intention</em> of marrying me. The Federation responded by storming a clinic where he was working, arresting him for treason, and beaming him away despite protests. I was with him when it happened and powerless to stop it. I <em>don’t know</em> what ship even did it….”</p><p> </p><p>Captain Riker’s eyes widened in shock, “Three weeks later, in the middle of one of the <em>coldest</em> days on record, Cardassian Security reported a shuttle crash in the desert just outside the Capital, but no one was in the shuttle,” Elim continued in a slightly sadder tone. “I was <em>depressed</em> and at that point, I was taking long walks in the desert to ease insomnia and feelings of anxiety. I went to the crash site and was <em>shocked</em> to find a battered Julian unconscious near the wreckage. He was very much alive, so I took him back to where I was living. Security and proper protocols were still very much a mess at the time, but I reported the incident and Julian’s re-appearance.”</p><p> </p><p>Silence filled the room and Elim took it as Riker wanting to hear more, “Julian<em> eventually</em> woke, but was <em>mute </em>for a while until I could get him to trust that I would protect him,” Elim spoke in a sorrowful voice. “He admitted that he was questioned and tortured by Federation officials, but he couldn’t remember anything about where he was but Deep Space Nine. He still can’t remember much of it and we try not to talk about it because it hurts him, but I <em>know</em> he thinks of it often.”</p><p> </p><p>Captain Riker nodded, his expression concerned, “<em>Do you want me to investigate the incident to bring Doctor Bashir some closure</em>?” he asked simply. “<em>Is that the reason for the secure channel</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Captain Riker, I was actually <em>wondering</em> if Counselor Troi might be willing to come speak with Julian,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice, frowning. “He recently lost his ability to become a Carrier and the surgery produced some neurological complications. We’ve been working through what we can, but I think he could use someone more <em>professional</em> to talk to and I’ve been told that he talked with Counselor Troi during the restoration efforts. I know it’s a <em>lot</em> to ask…”</p><p> </p><p>Captain Riker suddenly looked thoughtful and concerned, “<em>That’s really good of you to be looking out for your husband’s health like that</em>,” he replied calmly. “<em>We’re on routine patrols right now and you obviously don’t want Starfleet or the Federation anywhere near Julian based on what you’ve told me, but I’ll talk to Deanna. I’ll contact you when we have a solution</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded and quickly cut the call, exhaling softly as he rose from the chair. He went to the bedroom to find that Julian was awake and trying to stand on his two feet without assistance, but was trembling because his body was so weak, “My dear doctor…” Elim spoke gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to go on a walk through the city today?” Julian asked in a quiet voice. “I was thinking we could eat in the market area, relax at the War Gardens, and maybe even go visit that museum that the Castellan’s wife opened a year ago. We’ve been so busy lately…”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, “I <em>know</em> you heard me talking to Captain Riker,” he spoke quietly, sighing. “If you <em>want</em> to be angry with me for it, do go ahead. I did it out of love for you and your health.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>know</em>,” Julian replied quietly, sighing. “I just <em>don’</em>t expect <em>anything</em> to come from it, but I do love you for being willing to try. I also know your leave is still active and I thought we could spend some time together <em>appreciating</em> Cardassia. That is, if you have no objections?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim briefly considered it and then smiled, “I’ll help you get ready to go out and then we will <em>go out</em>,” he replied gently.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>A meal of oceanleaf tea, Sem’hal stew, and gelat had never tasted so good as it did to both Elim and Julian that afternoon. They had taken their time with the meal and spent the time talking about the novel they had read the day before, but every so often, Julian would trail off in mid-thought. He would self-consciously glance over his shoulder before resuming the conversation as if he hadn’t left it. Elim knew that Julian was very much afraid of being physically attacked by Gul Marak again and if there <em>was</em> another one, Elim <em>would</em> snap the Gul’s neck himself.</p><p> </p><p>Once the meal, which Elim had bought from several stalls that sold fresh meals during daylight hours, was done, the two moved on. The War Gardens, which Elim had designed and planted himself as part of the Castellan’s desire to rebeautify Cardassia after the Federation was gone, was quite close to the market and a place where anyone could go to reflect or relax.</p><p> </p><p>The gardens themselves were filled with every variety of flower and plant imaginable and among the flowerbeds sat stones holding memorial plaques containing the names of those who had died during the course of the Dominion War. Elim had gotten slightly tired of walking by that point, so he situated himself on a bench in the middle of the garden. Julian, however, kept the chair moving and had gone to a different part of the garden to have some alone time; he could tell that Elim was tired and he himself needed time to reflect on his current situation.</p><p> </p><p>Left alone, Elim closed his eyes, laid down on the bench, and began to snooze because the warm sun was <em>so</em> <em>inviting</em> and he was <em>drained</em> from his conversation with Captain Riker.  The benches were wide enough so that individuals could take naps as part of meditation. It was something that the Castellan found important because he could see how much the war had and would continue to hurt everyone. Elim was <em>sure</em> Myrina had <em>some</em> influence there, but he wasn’t entirely certain.</p><p> </p><p>After what seemed like an eternity, Elim woke feeling refreshed and he rose from the bench with the intent of finding Julian so they could go to the museum. What he saw, however, was Julian sitting near the decorative fountain with his head down. He was awake, but eerily silent.</p><p> </p><p>“Julian?” Elim asked in a concerned voice, frowning as he walked over to him. “Are…are you all right?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed softly, “During my little stroll, I got to thinking about how much these gardens remind me of my parents and how I <em>haven’t</em> told them about <em>any</em> of this,” he spoke in a quiet, somber voice. “I <em>should</em> tell them and it <em>might</em> just help me feel better about it myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim paused, “Are you scared that they might love you less?” he asked in a concerned voice.</p><p> </p><p>“In a way,” Julian admitted softly. “They knew about me being made a Carrier when I was genetically enhanced and I <em>remembe</em>r them talking to us at our wedding. They said that they <em>hoped</em> there were grandchildren soon. I should tell them…that there’s <em>not</em> going to be.”</p><p> </p><p>Tears filled Julian’s eyes and Elim saw them, so he responded by wrapping Julian in a gentle hug from behind, “My dear, if you <em>really</em> feel you have to tell your parents about your current state of health, I will sit with you at the computer terminal and help you call them because I am your husband and I love you,” Elim spoke gently. “We are going through this <em>together</em>, after all.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, “Do you mind if we <em>skip</em> the museum?” he asked softly. “And just sit for a while on that adorable little bench and just enjoy each other’s company? I need to be <em>held</em> by you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course not, my dear,” Elim replied gently. “I can think of nothing I’d rather do.”</p><p> </p><p>The two quickly got situated on the bench and simply enjoyed the tranquility of the gardens with the hoverchair nearby. There was no need to talk to communicate their love for one another.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>It was early evening by the time Julian and Elim returned home and Julian immediately situated himself at the computer. He wanted to talk to his parents before he lost his nerve even if it meant having dinner a little later. Elim sat in a chair beside him as promised, holding his hand tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Computer, please contact Richard and Amsha Bashir on Earth,” Julian spoke softly.</p><p> </p><p>The computer processed the request very quickly and Julian sighed as his father’s face suddenly appeared on the screen, “<em>Julian</em>!” Richard Bashir spoke warmly, smiling. “<em>How are you</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian’s face fell, his courage suddenly fading because he didn’t know how to explain that he was no longer a Carrier and neurologically unwell. Elim immediately noticed this and moved closer so that he too would be in the screen, “<em>Elim</em>!” Richard spoke warmly. “<em>You’re looking well</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Richard, so are you,” Elim spoke calmly, sighing as Julian continued being quiet and withdrawn. “Um, actually, we wanted to talk to you and Julian’s mother about something.”</p><p> </p><p>Richard nodded, “<em>Amsha</em>!” he called out, turning away. “<em>Julian and Elim are on the comm</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>Amsha Bashir quickly came into the screen and Julian sighed anxiously, “I…I’m <em>not</em> a Carrier anymore,” he blurted out in a pain-filled voice. “I had a lot of pain and bleeding and had to have those organs <em>removed</em>, but there were <em>complications</em> during the surgery that affected my brain.”</p><p> </p><p>Richard and Amsha suddenly looked concerned and horrified, “<em>Julian, we want to come visit you and help Elim take care of you</em>,” Amsha spoke worriedly. “<em>Please, can it be arranged?</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Before Elim could interject and say that he would prepare the travel permissions and the spare room, there was a knock at the door, “I’ll get Elim to arrange things and we’ve got a spare bedroom,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, his fear suddenly inviting a headache. “When…?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim opened the front door, deeply surprised to see a government sentry standing there holding a tablet out to him, “Legate Garak, this is a message from the Ministry of Justice that I was ordered to deliver directly to you,” the youthful looking sentry explained. “It is about Gul Marak.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” Elim asked as he accepted the tablet and read it. “Gul Marak’s been <em>arrested</em>?!”</p><p> </p><p>The sentry nodded and bowed, “The <em>details</em> are in the letter,” he replied. “Good day, Legate.”</p><p> </p><p>Nodding, Elim returned to the house with his face buried in the letter and frowned when he suddenly heard faint sniffling. He looked up from the tablet and was shocked to see Julian sitting at the comms terminal, which was off, crying silently with a troubled expression on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“My parents <em>want to come visit</em> and I felt guilty enough for causing them stress that I said they could,” Julian finally spoke in a trembling voice, sighing. “I’ve got a very, <em>very</em> bad headache…”</p><p> </p><p>Elim slipped the tablet into the pocket of his tunic and promptly moved the wheelchair to the master bedroom, “We’ll have supper in bed tonight and you can rest while I make us a meal,” he spoke in a concerned voice. “Your migraines usually precede seizures, so take a deep breath…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian did so and immediately felt the headache ease slightly, but he also let Elim help him from the chair into his side of the bed, “I <em>don’t want</em> them to come because I’m <em>ashamed</em> of being seen as weaker than when I was Jules, but I <em>told</em> them they <em>could</em>,” Julian spoke shakily, sighing.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shh</em>,” Elim spoke gently as he sat on the edge of the bed, dried Julian’s tears with his hands, and then gently brushed Julian’s hair off his forehead. “I want you to <em>actually rest</em> until it’s time for supper and not think about that right now. We’ll eat dinner and <em>then</em> have a chat about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Exhaling weakly, Julian closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep as Elim got up and went into the kitchen to put together a meal for them. His hand grasped hold of Kukulaka and he smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Julian?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian yawned as he opened his eyes and saw Elim standing beside the bed with a food tray, “You’ve been sleeping for nearly an <em>hour</em>, dear,” Elim spoke calmly. “Feeling better?”</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Julian slowly sat up, “A <em>little</em>,” he confessed softly. “Dinner smells wonderful.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just some stew, milk, and some biscuits with honey,” Elim spoke as he sat and put the food tray between them. “The grocer here <em>does</em> sell Terran food and I thought it might help tonight. I <em>know</em> I’m not much of a cook, but I want you to really relax and decompress tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nervously picked his bowl up and began to eat, sighing happily when he felt his body accepting the stew, “Elim, you <em>don’t</em> give yourself enough credit,” he replied softly. “I like it.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim smiled and the two finished off the meal in silent gratitude. After all the food was gone, he set the tray aside, “Now, my dear, your parents,” he spoke softly. “If you <em>don’t</em> want them…”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>don’t know how</em> they’ll feel about me once they <em>really</em> see what my limitations are,” Julian spoke in a tired voice, his expression sad. “Doctor Dastra <em>never</em> said that the medicinal treatment would be <em>able to cure</em> everything. I might get better than I am now, but never get back to…”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, “And <em>so what</em> if you don’t?” he asked softly. “Even if you have to use walking aids at work and home, Kelas is <em>not</em> going to discharge you from service because he knows he’d <em>have to deal with me</em> if he did. Accommodations <em>can and will</em> be made for you if you need them.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what about your reputation?” Julian asked worriedly. “To have to care for a <em>disabled</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Elim scoffed and snarled, “<em>You</em>, Julian, are <em>not</em> a <em>chore or a duty</em> that I absolutely <em>must</em> attend to in order to meet some quota for daily humanitarian deeds,” he replied in a firm voice, glaring at his husband firmly. “Cardassia is <em>very much</em> about <em>duty to family</em> and even if I have to modify the way I serve the State, I will do it because I love you and <em>our marriage</em> is my <em>first</em> priority.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian looked down at the sheets and Elim pulled the tablet from his pocket, “While you were on the comm with your parents, I was given this by a sentry and informed that the Ministry of Justice has <em>arrested</em> Gul Marak,” Elim spoke, showing Julian the tablet so they could read it together. “The arrest is a result of the incident at the store and other things. You <em>will need</em> to give a statement at some point, but I want to keep you away from the situation with Gul Marak as <em>much as possible</em>. After you give your statement, <em>I will</em> handle things on your behalf. <em>Perhaps</em> your parents can be a <em>distraction</em> for you. They can go with you to treatment if I can’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right,” Julian replied in a quiet voice. “I <em>don’t</em> have the strength or capacity to do anything than give a statement about what happened. I’ve got to focus on my recovery.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded and was unsurprised when Julian sighed weakly before taking hold of his hand.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Facing Reality</h2></a>
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  <span>It wasn’t until the day of Julian’s second treatment that Galenna showed up at the Bashir-Garak ready to take Julian’s statement. Elim was awake and helping Julian dress for the day when her knocks on the door filled the quiet house. Julian <em>flinched</em> at the knocks; he was afraid it was someone come to retaliate on behalf of Gul Marek. It was a reaction that Elim <em>didn’t</em> miss.</span>
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  <span>“My dear, wait here while I check to make sure it’s Galenna,” Elim spoke in a cautious voice as he quickly buttoned Julian’s vest for him before stepping away. “I want you to be safe.”</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed tiredly, “I know,” he replied quietly. “Elim, I don’t <em>mean</em> to be such a burden.”</span>
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  <span>Elim responded by gently kissing Julian’s forehead, “You’re <em>not</em>,” he replied as he left the room.</span>
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  <span>It didn’t take Elim long to reach the front door and he was immensely relieved to find that it was indeed Galenna at the door. She was in full uniform and carrying her work satchel.</span>
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  <span>“Come in,” Elim spoke calmly. “It’s good you came as early as you did, Galenna.”</span>
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  <span>Galenna nodded, “Julian mentioned that his treatment was later and that his parents were coming to visit, so I decided early was best,” she explained calmly, frowning as she entered the house and saw the living room empty. “Elim, where is Julian? I expected he would be waiting.”</span>
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  <span>“I told him to <em>wait</em> until I checked the door <em>mysel</em>f,” Elim replied in a tone that <em>dared</em> Galenna to question his protection of his spouse. “Make yourself comfortable and I will go get Julian.”</span>
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  <span>Galenna planted herself in a chair and Elim promptly returned to the bedroom, “My dear, are you ready?” she heard Elim ask in a gentle voice. “You know I <em>cannot</em> sit in on your interview…”</span>
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  <span>A moment later, Elim came into the living room helping Julian navigate across the floor with a cane that had a flat end. Julian was wearing his special work boots, dark pants that were loose, a long, sand-colored tunic and a tan vest that extended past his waist. His hair was combed neatly in its usual style and his face was a little paler than usual. Galenna raised an eyebrow at them.</span>
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  <span>“Well, good morning,” Galenna spoke formally. “Doctor Bashir-Garak, are you quite well?”</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed, “As well as can be expected, Minister Dastra,” he replied quietly, his expression purposely neutral as he looked at her. “If Elim can help me sit on the couch, you and I can talk.”</span>
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  <span>Elim did so without complaint and then excused himself, as Galenna had told him that only she and Julian would be allowed in the interview, per incident regulations. The older Cardassian, however, didn’t mind leaving Julian and Galenna to speak and went out to water the gardens.</span>
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  <span>“So, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” Galenna spoke calmly, her expression calm as she fished her recording stylus out of her satchel and held it to her lips. “Minister Galenna is at the home of Legate Elim Garak and Doctor Julian Subatoi Bashir-Garak to acquire Doctor Bashir-Garak’s statement concerning the attack inflicted upon him by Legate Marak at the indoor market. Doctor Bashir-Garak, can you please state the events of the incident from your point of view?”</span>
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  <span>Julian nodded, “Two days after my initial treatment, I discovered there was no food in our house and I managed to convince Elim that we should go to the indoor market,” he explained in a quiet voice, sighing. “We were there shopping and minding our own business when all of a sudden, we were confronted by Gul Marek and some others from Elim’s workplace. Gul Marek yelled at Elim for skiving off work just to play with me, which I found both <em>offensive</em> and <em>disgusting</em> as the Gul was referring to me as if I were Elim’s <em>exotic pet</em>!”</span>
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  <span>Galenna raised an eyebrow, but said nothing so to let Julian speak uninterrupted, “Gul Marek threatened to go to the Castellan right then and there, calling Elim worthless,” Julian spoke in a tired voice. “I stepped in front of Elim and I could feel my body giving out, but I was prepared to protect him. Gul Marek found my attempt amusing and Elim tried to talk me down, but Gul Marek shoved me out of the way quickly. I stumbled and hit the floor pretty hard…”</span>
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  <span>“And what happened after you hit the floor?” Galenna asked in a concerned voice, frowning.</span>
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  <span>Julian suddenly looked troubled, “I felt a lot of pain and then <em>nothing</em>,” he admitted in a quiet voice. “At one point, I think Elim and I had a conversation, but I <em>can’t</em> be sure. Doctor Dastra told me when I woke up what happened and said I <em>might not</em> be <em>able</em> to <em>remember</em> the seizure.”</span>
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  <span>“You were released from hospital that same day, according to the statement Doctor Parmak gave,” Galenna observed in a calm voice. “Did you not think remaining in hospital would…”</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed, “Kelas and Elim <em>tried</em> to talk me into it, but I <em>just</em> wanted to go home and be somewhere <em>comfortable</em>,” he admitted softly. “The rest of that day’s still a bit of a blur.”</span>
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  <span>Galenna nodded and swiftly ended the recording before storing the tablet back in her bag, “This place feels <em>safe</em> to you because of what happened seven years ago,” she observed softly. </span>
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  <span>A haunted expression crossed Julian’s face and he nodded, “<em>Yes</em>,” he admitted quietly. “Ever since I returned from that experience, I haven’t left the planet. I haven’t felt <em>safe</em> off-planet.”</span>
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  <span>Sighing, Galenna rose and collected her satchel, “Thank you for your time, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” she spoke in an official voice. “I will pass what you have said on to the Castellan.”</span>
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  <span>Nodding, Julian watched Galenna leave before he laid back and closed his eyes. He hadn’t expected to be asked about his kidnapping and he hadn’t expected to be so free about admitting that he <em>didn’t</em> feel safe leaving Cardassia anymore because of it. He had <em>surprised</em> himself.</span>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian?” Elim’s concerned voice suddenly filled the air. “Are you feeling all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, but didn’t open his eyes, “Minister Dastra left, but she ended up <em>helping</em> me realize why I <em>didn’t</em> stay in the hospital after I had the seizure,” he spoke softly. “I feel safe here and I’ve only felt safe on Cardassia since I was kidnapped. I don’t feel safe leaving the planet…at all.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Silence filled the air and Julian suddenly felt a familiar hand slide into his own, “I knew that, but I didn’t think you would ever admit it openly,” Elim replied calmly. “I have to go to the Ministry of Justice during your treatment, so I won’t be there. Kelas and Galen, however, have already promised me that they’ll look after you and I can go by the port after my meeting with Minister Dastra. Your parents’ shuttle should be arriving by then and I can collect them…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian opened his eyes wide, “<em>Oh</em>, I <em>forgot</em> to make up the guest room,” he moaned softly, his expression troubled. “I <em>meant</em> to have it done, but I really haven’t done very much…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I took care of it,” Elim replied reassuringly. “I’ve also moved a few things around in the kitchen so you can start cooking the meals again if you feel like it. I <em>don’t really enjoy</em> cooking, honestly, so I wish you <em>would</em> take it up again. It just depends on whether or not you feel up to it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian shrugged and slowly got to his feet using his cane, “If we <em>don’t</em> get going, we’re going to be <em>late</em> and Doctor Dastra <em>hates</em> it when his patients are late,” he spoke in a tired voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Quickly recognizing that Julian didn’t want to discuss the matter of cooking further, Elim nodded and quickly retrieved the hoverchair from the closet. Julian left his cane near the couch and slowly made his way over to the chair, sighing as he sat, “Oh, I forgot things,” he spoke softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim responded by producing Julian’s reading glasses and a tablet novel from his pockets, “I <em>knew</em> you’d be preoccupied, so I got these ready for you before your chat with Galenna,” he explained, handing the items over. “Would you also like to take Kukulaka with you today?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, “Then you shall have him,” Elim responded before going back to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Gratitude filled Julian’s heart as Elim added Kukulaka to the small pile of objects in his lap before taking them both outside. Elim had already gotten their ID chips and both sat securely in his pocket; he would give Julian his when they reached the hospital and had to separate.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Even though the walk to the hospital would be long, Elim had decided against requesting a skimmer simply because the walk would do them both a world of good that they <em>needed.</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen’s instructions about where to go sent Elim and Julian into an area of the hospital that had been rebuilt entirely by Cardassian hands and to Julian, it bore a strong resemblance to cancer therapy units on Earth. As Elim delivered him to the check-in desk, Julian couldn’t help but wonder what the treatment would include and how it was meant to benefit him. Before he could speak, however, Galen arrived and offered a smile to the two of them.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m glad to see you’re on time,” Galen greeted them calmly as he perched himself on the edge of the check-in desk clad in the standard medical uniform. “I thought we’d talk a bit about the treatment before I actually give you your dose for this visit. It’s going to be delivered in a similar way that old cancer patients used to receive their medicines, but it’s a very painless procedure.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, “How long before it cures me of whatever <em>this</em> is?” he asked softly, frowning.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen’s eyes narrowed, “Doctor Bashir-Garak, between the Lethean attack and whatever your Federation captors did to you in the three weeks that you were missing, you do have neurological and physical damage that <em>cannot</em> be fixed even with the best of treatment,” he explained in a calm voice, sighing softly. “Kelas had <em>hoped</em> that his initial treatment could be used <em>as</em> a cure, but your body has had <em>enough</em> as far as trauma goes that it didn’t respond positively to it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian’s face fell and Elim frowned, “Now, I’m <em>not</em> telling you this to discourage you or make you believe this is a hopeless situation,” Galen continued, holding up a hand to keep both of them quiet. “This medicine is meant to help ease your pain and difficulties enough that you can still live a fairly productive life with just a <em>few</em> modifications to your current routines. I have already spoken with Kelas and he says your job is secure. Once you are <em>actually</em> well enough to return to work, everyone at this hospital will accommodate you as you require it. All right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, give me my ID card so you can get to your meeting,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, gazing up at his husband with as calm an expression as he could muster at the moment. “Be safe.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim surrendered the card by setting it on the handle of the hoverchair and kissed Julian before excusing himself, sensing Julian’s need and want to be alone with the news he had just received. Even though he himself was trying to be calm for Julian’s sake, Elim’s heart was heavy because of the <em>finality</em> involved in Galen’s words.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen, meanwhile, silently rolled Julian into the room and settled him and his things in a chair near a window offering a pleasant view of the street. The Cardassian doctor then gently slipped a needle into Julian’s wrist that was connected to a drip-box containing a simple looking fluid.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“This medicine was brewed from plants found on a planet called Nepenthe,” Galen explained, taking a seat on a stool beside the chair. “I got permission from Castellan Marratt to seek alternative sources of medicine once Kelas and I determined that the initial treatment didn’t work as expected. A man named Captain Rupert Crandall delivered plants he thought would help and he is now a <em>friend</em> to Cardassia. The planet is famous for having soil that possesses regenerative properties and it <em>may not</em> be able to cure you, but it <em>will</em> get you feeling well enough to function.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and sighed, “Thank you for all the trouble you’ve gone to even if it doesn’t work,” he replied in a tired voice, a somber expression on his face. “What are the side effects?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You <em>might</em> get a little sick and sleepy until your body adjusts, but <em>resting</em> during the treatments will help you acclimate faster,” Galen explained calmly. “Eventually, once your body does adjust to the medicine, I can even teach you how to hook it up to your own arm so you can be at home during your treatments. I estimate you’ll need one treatment a week for the indefinite future…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian offered a nod, “Thank you, Doctor Dastra,” he spoke softly as a fit of extreme fatigue suddenly overwhelmed him, prompting him to yawn. “Oh, it seems it’s working already…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen couldn’t help but smirk as Julian quickly dropped off to sleep with the mess of items still in his lap. He set Julian’s ID chip on the tray next to the items so he would have it handy. He also took the glasses and novel and set them on the tray beside the chair before adjusting Kukulaka so he was tucked into Julian’s arm. His time in the Interspecies Medical Exchange had taught him that patients receiving long-term care often depended on stationary objects for comfort and he <em>completely</em> understood Julian’s need for a simple teddy bear now.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As a final touch to make sure his patient was comfortable, Galen got a blanket and covered Julian with it. He then returned to the desk to work while Julian’s treatment proceeded, as he wanted to be close enough to handle things in case Julian <em>did</em> have an adverse reaction.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Impatience and irritation filled every fiber of Elim’s being as he paced outside the office where Galenna had called and asked to meet him. He wanted to get the meeting done, go to the port for Julian’s parents, and then return to Julian. He <em>did not</em> have <em>time</em> to be summoned for <em>meetings</em>.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The door to Galenna’s office opened and she came out, saw his expression of pure anger, and paused, “Legate Garak, I know being away from your husband during his treatment is annoying you, but it was <em>imperative</em> that I meet with you,” she spoke calmly. “Please come in.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim obliged, but remained on his feet once the door was closed, “Castellan Marratt <em>didn’t need</em> Julian’s account as much as I originally believed,” Galenna explained as she sat at her desk. “After I left, I sent it to him and I have <em>never</em> seen the Castellan so angry as he was when he called my office a short time later. Julian’s report was simply the <em>tip of the iceberg</em> of negative reports he has <em>already</em> received about Gul Marak and all of his friends.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“So now what happens?” Elim asked coldly, frowning. “Will Julian need to tell the story <em>again</em>?!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna scoffed, “No, I’m <em>not</em> going to make him do that again and I told the Castellan it’s <em>not</em> a possibility right now,” she replied firmly. “However, there <em>will</em> be a trial now that the Castellan’s had Gul Marak arrested and formally charged. The other Guls who were present at the fight will also face charges, but they are merely on probation for the moment. Your statement will serve as enough for both you and Julian and you will need to be at the trial. <em>Julian</em> …”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian’s <em>not</em> going to the trial and I’m standing firm on that,” Elim spoke in a voice of finality, his expression one of stone. “I know his limits <em>better</em> than he does and that’s <em>past</em> his limit.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna nodded, “I <em>completely</em> understand, Legate,” she affirmed. “I was going to say that Julian doesn’t need to be involved in this matter any further because it will only prove detrimental to his health. The Castellan, however, is <em>very</em> interested in investigating what happened to Julian seven years ago because that had an effect on the rules we have in place today about visitors.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian can’t remember much if anything of his experience,” Elim admitted in a quieter voice, his expression ashen as he sighed. “When he was recovering at my house, I did ask him and I know that Cardassian Security wanted to know what he endured at the hands of the Federation. Even when he <em>was</em> able to speak again, Julian wasn’t <em>able</em> to recall what he had gone through.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna raised an eyebrow, “The Ministry of Justice and the Castellan are <em>both aware</em> of the fact that you reached out to Captain Riker of the U.S.S. Titan seeking counseling for Julian from Commander Deanna Troi-Riker,” she replied as if mocking Elim’s ability to keep secrets. “You <em>do</em> recall that the Ministry does monitor all incoming and outgoing communications and we have done so ever since your husband’s abduction from the planet. <em>Don’t</em> mock my intelligence.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>knew</em> it might jeopardize my standing, but I didn’t care,” Elim replied nervously, frowning. “I still have no regrets about seeking help for my husband. He gave up <em>everything</em> to come here.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna nodded, “We’re <em>not</em> penalizing either of you for it,” she replied. “Nor are we going to acknowledge any discontent the Federation might have over your request. As far as we are concerned, Julian Bashir-Garak is a <em>Cardassian citizen</em> and <em>you</em> were looking out for family.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian <em>doesn’t</em> believe anything will come of it, but he <em>appreciated</em> me caring enough about him to try,” Elim admitted with a sigh. “If that’s all, Galenna, I really do <em>need</em> to get going to the port to meet the transport carrying Julian’s parents from Earth. I <em>promised</em> Julian I would meet them.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna nodded and made a shooing motion, so Elim left and didn’t stop walking until he was back out on the street. Only then did Elim let out a weary sigh. He wasn’t looking forward to telling Julian that Castellan Marratt wanted the kidnapping incident investigated and he <em>definitely</em> wasn’t looking forward to going to the port to collect Julian’s parents instead of being at the hospital by his husband’s side. He had, however<em>, promised</em> Julian he would go meet them.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>With a flourish of his hand, Elim waved down one of the many skimmers that moved throughout the city during the day. Recognizing Elim as a Legate, the skimmer pilot stopped the vehicle and allowed him to board, “Port of Cardassia, please,” Elim ordered in a firm, official voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The skimmer got there in record time, “<em>Wait here</em>,” Elim ordered firmly as he got off.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A sigh escaped Elim’s lips as he entered the port and found it quiet except for the Cardassian workers who monitored interplanetary transport, “Is the transport shuttle <em>Courage</em> due to arrive soon?” he asked in an official voice. “I’m expecting a couple of visitors from Earth.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The worker standing at the door leading out to the landing pad nodded, “The <em>Courage </em>should be arriving within the hour, Legate Garak,” he replied formally. “Do you require…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No,” Elim spoke hurriedly. “I’ll simply sit and wait until the <em>Courage</em> does arrive. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The worker gave Elim a strange look, but Elim moved over to a bench and sat quietly. He stared out the window and allowed himself to reflect on the fact that Julian’s health would <em>never fully</em> recover even despite treatment. Elim <em>knew</em> that Julian had to be hurting over that news and he himself was also hurting over that news. They had both expected that Julian would be <em>cured</em>.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nevertheless, Elim <em>loved</em> Julian and he <em>knew</em> that Julian <em>loved</em> him. That <em>would not</em> change.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The <em>Federation</em> hadn’t destroyed them and this situation <em>wouldn’t</em> either, Elim promised himself as he continued to wait.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Broken Ideals</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim tore his gaze away from the view outside and sighed tiredly as he saw Richard and Amsha Bashir coming towards him carrying several pieces of luggage. Swallowing hard, Elim pasted a smile on his face as he rose from his seat and faced the two aged, happy looking Bashirs.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Amsha Bashir immediately engulfed Elim in a hug, as did Richard, “It’s good to see you, Elim!” Richard spoke in a warm voice, smiling. “Where’s Julian at? Prepping the house?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No, Julian’s at the <em>hospital</em> receiving medicine for his condition,” Elim spoke in a quiet, slightly somber voice. “I had errands to run today and I came to meet you because he asked me to…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard and Amsha exchanged a worried look as they nodded, “Do you think we could visit him there?” Amsha asked in a concerned voice. “We want to take care of him and you while we…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m <em>sure</em> Julian will <em>appreciate</em> your company,” Elim replied although he <em>wasn’t entirely</em> sure.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim then reached for the bags, but Richard gathered them all and Amsha quickly put a comforting arm around Elim, “The skimmer’s waiting,” he spoke nervously. “Shall we go?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Despite being uncomfortable with being hugged or touched by anyone but Julian, Elim allowed himself to be led outside with Amsha holding him. He <em>knew</em> such a simple gesture would make them feel better about being on Cardassia, Julian’s illness, and whatever else was going on.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
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<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…Lieutenant Julian Subatoi Bashir, Chief Medical Officer of Deep Space Nine, you are hereby charged with treason and conspiracy against the Federation for associating with former Obsidian Order spy, Elim Garak,” a cold voice spoke above Julian’s head. “What of the Federation’s secrets did you divulge to Cardassia that you felt the need to stay on the planet against orders?!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A whining noise suddenly filled the air, “…He was just sleeping and all of a sudden, he started moaning weakly and his heart rate shot up!” an anxious voice spoke. “Doctor Bashir-Garak!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian suddenly felt a hand touch his face and instinctively, he swung his arm to try to defend himself. His arm was suddenly caught in something and he began to fight to get it free.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>What happened</em>?!” Julian suddenly heard Elim’s voice ask. “Why is he combative?!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A frightened gasp escaped Julian’s lips as he opened his eyes and found Elim sitting beside him looking worried, “Oh, Elim, <em>thank goodness</em> it’s you,” he spoke in a shaking voice. “It’s <em>you</em>…someone was yelling and whining. I felt someone touch my face and I panicked…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“A nurse heard the alarm and tried to wake you,” Galen spoke as he suddenly appeared beside Elim looking slightly harried. “I was nearby, but I was <em>too late</em> to stop her touching you…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian paled, “Oh, <em>oh no</em>,” he spoke shakily, his expression ashen. “Did I hurt anyone?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No, but I am now aware that I need to <em>re-educate</em> the staff about how you <em>don’t</em> like to be touched when you are asleep at the hospital,” Galen replied simply. “Are you all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim leaned forward and gently connected his forehead with Julian’s, prompting both of them to close their eyes, “It’s <em>all right</em>, my dear,” he spoke in a soothing voice. “You’re <em>safe</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian took a deep breath and relaxed as the intimate contact was broken, “I’m <em>glad</em> I talked your parents into letting the skimmer take them and their bags to the house instead of coming here,” Elim spoke in a calming voice. “They plan to cook us an <em>interesting</em> meal this evening.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Oh, you <em>did</em> get them?” Julian asked in a quiet, groggy voice. “How did they look? Are they well?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen cleared his throat and Julian looked at him, “The treatment’s finished and you’re free to go home if you feel like it, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” he spoke calmly. “If you experience any adverse side-effects, contact the hospital <em>immediately</em>. I will contact you about your next treatment.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed weakly as Galen left the room with an anxious looking nurse at his heels, “I <em>think</em> I’m ready to go home,” he spoke softly. “I’m a <em>little</em> shaken and tired, but otherwise fine.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You had <em>another</em> flashback,” Elim realized softly, sighing. “About those three weeks.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, “It was the <em>same</em> one,” he admitted softly, sighing. “Elim, I’m <em>tired</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded and helped Julian up before gathering the ID card, the glasses, and the book from the tray and putting them in his own pockets, “Sit down,” he instructed gently, grabbing the chair and moving it so it was behind Julian. “We’ll talk about it when you’re feeling better.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian did and Elim collected Kukulaka from the chair, being extra gentle as he set the bear in its owner’s lap, “The skimmer <em>should</em> be back by now,” Elim said softly as he moved Julian out.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Feeling relaxed by Elim’s presence, Julian cuddled Kukulaka and allowed himself to doze off.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nearly an hour later, within the safety of their home, Elim found himself sitting at the kitchen table with Richard Bashir while Amsha cooked up a storm. Julian was curled up on the couch asleep with Kukulaka in his arms after being deposited there by Elim to rest before dinner.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, if I may say so, you look <em>unusually</em> tired,” Richard spoke worriedly, frowning at him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded, “I’m sure I do since I am,” he replied patiently. “Did you settle in all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The room seems very comfortable,” Richard replied, smiling. “You and Julian did a fine job.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Letting out a shaky sigh, Elim clasped his hands together, “Julian wasn’t well enough to help,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “His hands are quite able and so I get him to help me with things he can do with his hands, but preparing the spare room was <em>too much</em> for him…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A groan and quiet footsteps suddenly filled the air, prompting the three to pause because they knew the noise meant Julian was awake and moving. The sound of vomiting suddenly filled the air and without hesitation, Elim rose and hurried to the bathroom without a word.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian had somehow managed to get to the main bathroom and was kneeling next to the toilet, throwing up into it with his special cane in one hand and Kukulaka in the other. Elim lingered until Julian was done, “Doctor Dastra <em>warned</em> me I’d be a little sick after the treatment,” Julian gasped weakly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My dear, I <em>think</em> you need an <em>early</em> night,” Elim spoke softly. “Do you need help standing up?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian, however, sighed as a haunted expression filled his face, “Doctor Dastra said that between the Lethean attack and whatever happened to me in the three weeks I was in the hands of my Federation captors, I have neurological and physical damage that <em>cannot</em> be fixed even with the best of treatment,” he spoke in a trembling voice. “If it becomes <em>too much</em> for you, Elim…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Stop</em>,” Elim cut him off in a firm voice, scowling. “I was <em>there</em> when Galen said it and I am <em>most certainly not deaf</em> or <em>incapable</em> of understanding what he said. My love for you is unbreakable.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian responded by resting his face on the edge of the toilet as a whimper escaped his lips and Elim sighed patiently, “Would you like a bath?” Elim asked softly. “It <em>may</em> help you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My parents…” Julian mumbled in a weak voice. “If I don’t suck it up and go talk to them…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim gently rubbed Julian’s back and hair before gently hauling him to his feet, “They <em>understand</em> you’re not well,” Elim spoke calmly as he held Julian against him. “I explained things during the skimmer ride and they decided to come here to have things ready for you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian didn’t reply and Elim sighed, “I’ll help you with a bath and then you can be at the table in your pajamas and in your chair, but then you are turning in,” Elim offered in a gentler voice. “I can entertain your parents this evening and you can spend time with them in the morning when you are feeling up to it. You can all go on a walk and that will allow me to get some work done from our shared office space.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“There’s going to be a <em>trial</em> for Gul Marak and his friends, isn’t there?” Julian mumbled softly, his eyes drooping as he cuddled against his husband. “Elim…could I…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, “<em>You</em> are <em>not</em> going to the trial because Galenna already has your statement and it will only <em>hurt </em>you if I allow you to attend the trial,” he replied firmly. “Come now, it’s time for a bath.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian went very quiet and didn’t utter another word as Elim took him to the master bathroom, put the cane, clothes, and Kukulaka aside, and helped him sit in the jet tub. It was a tub that was the size of a Terran jacuzzi, but Julian himself <em>rarely</em> used the thing simply because his former routine had been very strict. He slept and ate when it was time and he mostly worked <em>extensive</em> hours at the hospital. That routine, Elim knew, would <em>have</em> to change now that Julian wasn’t well and wouldn’t fully regain all of his faculties. Since Julian’s routine would have to change, Elim knew his routine would also need to change as he was very much like his husband in having extreme workaholic tendencies. Julian was his <em>life</em>, though, and work could be easily set aside.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>With a swift movement of his hand, Elim started and tempered the water before adding a few salts and spices he knew would help Julian feel better. Once the tub was full, Elim handed Julian a bar of soap and left him to wash what was under the water while he used a hand scrubbie and shampoo to take care of washing Julian’s hair. As much as Elim <em>wanted</em> to comment on how worried he was about how thin his husband seemed, he knew it would only upset Julian if he mentioned it and the <em>point</em> of the bath was to <em>relax</em> him. That discussion would have to wait.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m feeling more awake now, but still <em>so very</em> tired,” Julian spoke softly, his expression sad.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded, “Julian, <em>don’t</em> be discouraged,” he replied softly. “You’re <em>still</em> my beloved.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“And you’re mine,” Julian replied softly, sighing. “I just don’t want you to get tired.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed as he helped Julian from the bath and into a large, fluffy towel that he had sewn himself using fabrics from the market. He drained the bath and then quickly helped Julian into the bedroom and into some clean underclothes and warm pajamas. Julian’s feet remained bare and Elim quickly noticed that Julian was staring at the scarring around his ankles wistfully.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The feeling’s <em>never really</em> come back to them after the fractures healed,” Julian spoke softly. "The arthritis is still <em>bad</em>..."</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim responded by helping Julian sit on the bed and fitting his feet into bootie-like slippers he had created to help with the problems Julian had with his feet because of the torture. He had also lovingly made Julian special socks and work boots so walking wouldn’t be painful for him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I think I’m ready for dinner now,” Julian spoke quietly. “Thank you for taking care of me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded and helped Julian to his feet, being extra gentle with Julian as they walked to where the hoverchair was. Once Julian was in the hoverchair, Elim lovingly pushed it into the kitchen and settled Julian at his usual spot. Richard’s expression softened at seeing the hoverchair.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I didn’t <em>realize</em> things were <em>that bad</em>, Julian,” Richard spoke softly. “I’m <em>so</em> sorry, son.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed and nodded, very much lacking the strength to say what he really wanted to. Amsha wanted to say much, but she reasoned that such important conversation could wait until dinner.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Amsha Bashir had truly outdone herself and had used things from both the cupboards and fridge to make a meal of fruit smoothies, beef and vegetable stew, and biscuits made from scratch that were topped with some homemade honey that she had brought as a present from Earth.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As usual, Elim sat in his chair next to Julian while Amsha and Richard took the guest chairs that were at the table. Not that Julian and Elim had guests very often, Elim mused, as the two of them worked hard and Julian didn’t enjoy having strange people in what he considered a safe space. Whenever the two of them actually wanted to be around people, they would go out, but never stay out very long because neither of them were fond of social crowds.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once the four had filled their plates, Julian sighed, “How’s Earth?” he asked timidly, almost expecting that he would be given a lecture for not visiting more. “Are you two doing all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“When we saw the most recent information report from the Federation News Network, we were wondering the same about you and Elim,” Richard explained in a concerned voice, frowning as he dug into his meal. “Captain Riker of the Titan asked the Federation Council for permission to come help you and they told him no, so he went and said that you were <em>taken hostage</em> by the Federation for three weeks shortly after the relief efforts on Cardassia were stopped…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian paled, his eyes wide, “I…I <em>was</em>,” he stammered. “I didn’t know <em>how</em> to tell you...”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You were <em>mute</em> for a time after escaping and <em>still cannot remember</em> what happened save for a slight flashback,” Elim cut in firmly, his expression worried. “Captain Riker has <em>quite</em> the courage to stand up to the Federation Council in defense of your right to receive help…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Amsha touched Julian’s hand, “So it was <em>true</em>?” she asked worriedly. “You were <em>kidnapped by the Federation</em>?!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Yes</em>, but I <em>can’t</em> remember most of it or how I got back here,” Julian admitted in a quiet, somber voice as he looked at his mother with a solemn expression. “I just remember waking up in this house unable to walk because my ankles were broken. I was also very battered and unable to speak. Elim was here...”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim rested his hand on Julian’s arm and Julian sighed, “Elim took very good care of me then and he <em>still</em> does,” Julian admitted, offering a faint smile as he looked at him. “He’s <em>wonderful</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Eat your supper,” Elim replied, a smirk on his face as he spoke. “Richard, Amsha, I’m not sure <em>what</em> to say about what you’ve just said. I <em>never thought</em> my request would go <em>that</em> far.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard sighed, “The Federation has changed for the <em>worse</em> in the years since the war and public opinion of it on Earth has worsened <em>considerably</em> since Riker shared the news about your kidnapping,” he admitted solemnly. “Everyone’s <em>horrified</em> that the Federation kidnapped one of its own people, especially since that person served honorably in the Dominion War. The general public doesn’t even <em>care</em> you’re an Augment, as you have put those enhancements to good use.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The Carrier implant didn’t work because my brain sickened it,” Julian spoke quietly as he forced himself to eat what he could. “I had growths, pain, and bleeding. When I had the organs removed, that’s when the problems started. <em>Some</em> of the damage came from <em>torture</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Shuddering at the word and the anxiety it invited, Julian busied himself with finishing his meal and even taking a second helping once his plate was clean. Richard, Amsha, and Elim also busied themselves with eating, but they could all see how troubled Julian was now feeling.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once the meal was over, Amsha and Richard got up and gathered the dishes, “Is there anything we can do to help?” Elim asked before Julian could. “You cooked <em>such a lovely</em> meal…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“And we will do the dishes,” Amsha spoke calmly. “Go relax by yourselves.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim looked at Julian, “We could pick a new novel from our library to read together,” he offered.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“That sounds <em>lovely</em>,” Julian replied in a kind voice. “We haven’t picked a new one yet.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Another smirk filled Elim’s face as he relocated himself and Julian to the library, which also doubled as their shared office space. Julian took control of the hoverchair and began browsing the shelves for a tablet novel they could read together at bedtime while Elim watched him. </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The shelves were filled with only tablet novels and no other form of novel, Elim mused, simply because the size of the text was better for Julian’s eyes. Although Julian himself would <em>never </em>admit it, his ability to read smaller print had been one of the casualties of surviving the torture. Elim hadn’t wanted to humiliate the man, so he had simply bought tablet novels instead of data rods for the library after he and Julian had married. It was something Julian had appreciated.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My parents were <em>horrified</em> to learn that what Riker said was true,” Julian spoke in an upset voice as he carefully looked through their book collection. “I could see it in their faces.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed and he walked over to Julian, “And <em>I’m horrified</em> that what I told Captain Riker has now ignited <em>dissent</em> within the Federation,” Julian admitted in a quieter voice. “I’m <em>equally horrified </em>that the Federation did what they did to me and I can’t remember any of it! I’ve <em>tried</em>!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Tears suddenly filled Julian’s eyes and he let out an anxious gasp as he withdrew his hand from the bookshelf with a novel in hand, “I’ve <em>tried</em> to remember and I <em>can’t</em>!” he wept, his voice trembling with shame, fear, and anxiety as he massaged his forehead. “I’m <em>broken</em>, Elim…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed and held Julian tenderly in his arms as Julian allowed himself to sob quietly for several moments before exhaling weakly, “And <em>this</em> is exactly why I don’t want you <em>anywhere</em> near the trial when it happens, Julian,” he spoke gently. “I <em>know</em> that Gul Marak assaulting you triggered things inside of you that you can’t even remember happening. For you to sit in a courtroom where the issue is discussed will invite similar pain and I can’t bear to see you in that kind of pain when I <em>can</em> prevent it. The trial will be in the next couple of days and while I’m there, you can show your parents around the city and spend time enjoying their company. I will even make sure you have a <em>bodyguard</em> that day if you want one.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You’re <em>not telling</em> me something, Elim,” Julian murmured softly. “You’re <em>unusually</em> tense.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, “And you’re unusually perceptive even when you’re sad,” he replied softly as he moved around to face Julian and crouched down so they were at eye level. “Galenna told me that Castellan Marratt wants to investigate the kidnapping and find out who within the Federation was responsible so that he can bring them to justice on your behalf. He’s upset about it and upset that you were…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>can’t remember</em> more than what I’ve already told you, though!” Julian replied in a distressed voice</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded, “Then just tell the Castellan that and what happened the day you were kidnapped from the clinic in Cardassia City,” he replied calmly. “There were <em>dozens</em> of witnesses to the incident, all of whom will no doubt give statements if the Castellan requests them. Castellan Marratt <em>wants to help</em> you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The Federation has the ability to <em>hurt</em> Cardassia and everyone close to me if I keep pressing the issue,” Julian explained in a concerned voice, frowning worriedly. “I <em>worry</em> about Captain Riker…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim held up a hand to silence him, “<em>Captain Riker</em> was the one who <em>chose</em> to ask Starfleet for permission to divert from current orders to help you and he’s also the one who <em>chose</em> to share about what happened to you,” he replied in a kind voice. “That means even if he and Counselor Troi can’t help, they <em>do</em> care and they understand that the Federation is <em>not</em> what it once was. Besides, <em>I’m</em> the one who asked him about possibly getting Counselor Troi to come talk to you. If there<em> is</em> a blame to be had, I will take it <em>gladly</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, suddenly feeling tired from the intense discussion, “Right, I think it’s time for you to go to bed,” Elim spoke gently, seeing the exhaustion in his expression. “Don’t worry about your parents…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The journey to the master bedroom was quiet, as Richard and Amsha were still in the kitchen, and Julian managed to get into his side of the bed without a word. Elim retrieved Kukulaka from the bathroom and Julian put on his glasses to read the novel he chose until he fell asleep, but suddenly found himself tired.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Why don’t I read to you for a little while, Julian?” Elim suggested, taking the book as he shoved Kukulaka into Julian’s arms. “I don’t have anything else to do at the moment and you look tired.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Without waiting for a reply, Elim settled himself on his side of the bed and began reading the book aloud to Julian. Sighing quietly, Julian cuddled Kukulaka and slowly felt himself falling asleep, lulled by the soothing tones of Elim’s voice. Rest was important, Julian thought to himself. It was <em>truly</em> important.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim realized very quickly that Julian had fallen asleep, so he quickly bookmarked his spot in the novel and set it aside. He then got up and made sure Julian and Kukulaka were comfortable as they slept.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The days ahead would be hard, Elim knew, but he wouldn’t leave Julian to face them alone. They would endure them together even if trouble came their way.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Realizing True Priorities</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <span>It was early, but it was also the day of Gul Marak’s trial and so Elim rose while Julian was still asleep. He barricaded himself in the bathroom to get ready for the day, as he wanted to look commanding and presentable, but he didn’t want to wake Julian or anyone else in the house.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>When Elim finally emerged from the bathroom half an hour later, he was shocked to see the bed empty and Julian missing. He hurriedly dressed in his Legate formalwear and adornments before making his way into the living room. It was then that he heard noises of cooking coming from the kitchen and so he went there. To his amazement and concern, Julian was standing at the stove with one hand on his cane and the other tending to something that was in a cooking pot. He looked tired, distressed, and his entire body was trembling, but he also looked very determined.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A steaming cup of something was already on the table along with a fancy plate, cutlery, and a cloth napkin. Julian, however, wasn’t wearing anything but his blue pajamas and the slipper boots he slept in to keep the arthritis in his feet from disrupting his sleep. Julian, Elim realized, must have gotten up and forgotten to turn on the heat in the kitchen before cooking. Either that, or he didn’t care about anything except making a hearty, pleasant breakfast for his husband.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My dear, you <em>should be</em> resting,” Elim spoke gently. “The sun is not even out yet.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed weakly, “I’m making you some scrambled Regova eggs, fried potatoes, and some bacon so you’ll be <em>strong</em> at the trial,” he spoke in a trembling voice. “Fish juice is on the table.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim, however, silently embraced Julian from behind and found him to be both trembling and frozen to the touch, “Julian, I <em>do appreciate</em> all of this, but you’re <em>absolutely freezing</em>!” he replied in a concerned voice. “The stress of the trial’s making you sick and I’m <em>worried</em> about you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’ll r-rest <em>l-later</em>,” Julian slurred darkly, his entire body tensing up as he suddenly felt a brief wave of dizziness and blurry vision hit him before disappearing. “<em>Go s-sit d-down</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim frowned at Julian, but let him go, “I have to put my <em>enhancements</em> to good use even if I’m ill and I’d <em>simply appreciate</em> you letting me do that,” Julian slurred. “<em>Go s-sit at t-the t-table</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You’re <em>upset</em> about what your father said at dinner the first night your parents were here,” Elim realized quietly, his expression concerned. “He said that people didn’t even care you’re an Augment, as you have put those enhancements to good use. Is that why you’ve been <em>ignoring </em>your hoverchair and doing as much as possible on your feet over the past couple of days even when you’re visibly tired? You’ve been acting like some sort of <em>lifeless android</em> and I…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian scoffed, “I’m <em>enhanced</em> and I have to <em>act it</em>!” he shouted, scowling. “I’m <em>not allowed</em> to be sick or in pain or even anxious! My <em>architect</em> <em>expects</em> me to be well even if I have to <em>pretend</em>!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s expression was aghast and he turned away, <em>needing</em> to give himself a moment to breathe because he <em>didn’t like</em> this side of Julian. His parents were well-meaning, but it was obvious that they preferred the Julian that didn’t show signs of anything but perfection. Richard and Amsha hadn’t mentioned the illness, nor had Julian shared about it and it was so painfully obvious that all three of them wanted to discuss it, but nobody knew how to bring it up. In response, Julian had <em>overdone</em> it and presented the self that he had been back on Deep Space Nine; a self that was incapable of affection, hard-working, and generally <em>joyless</em>. It made Elim feel <em>very sad</em>.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A crash suddenly filled the air and Elim turned, deeply horrified to see Julian laying on the ground with the cooking pot, scrambled Regova eggs, fried potatoes, and bacon scattered across the kitchen floor. Julian’s eyes were closed and his entire body looked like a deflated balloon.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Adrenaline surged through Elim as he quickly turned off the stove before hurrying over to the comm terminal and contacting the hospital, “This is Legate Garak,” he spoke as soon as a clerk answered with a Kardasi greeting. “I need emergency transport to the hospital for myself and Doctor Bashir-Garak! He just collapsed in the kitchen and he’s now unconscious!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Without waiting for a reply, Elim hurried over to Julian and knelt next to him. He took a hold of Julian’s hand and found it strangely limp, but before he could speak, they were whisked away by the hospital’s emergency transporter function. Elim kept his grip on Julian’s limp, nearly lifeless hand tight, the trial forgotten. The trial wasn’t as important as Julian’s extremely poor health.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“A <em>stroke</em>?!” Elim spoke in a horrified voice as he sat with Kelas in the sitting area just outside the emergency treatment room where Galen and several nurses were working on Julian. "You're telling me Julian had a <em>stroke</em>?!</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim had been waiting at the hospital for nearly two hours while Kelas, Galen, and several nurses worked feverishly to stabilize Julian and find out what had happened to him. The sun was now in the sky and Elim supposed that Julian’s parents were now awake, had seen the mess in the kitchen, and had seen that he and Julian were gone. He did not, however, care.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas nodded, his expression grim, “Doctor Julian may have had warning strokes or symptoms over the past few days that he missed,” he explained quietly. “Did you notice anything off about him?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>did,</em> but I attributed it to Julian’s parents staying with us and the stress it invited into his life,” Elim admitted in a concerned, slightly scared voice. “Julian and his parents have never really gotten along and they’ve been expecting him to act as if he was well since they arrived. I fear <em>that</em> may have caused <em>this</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas sighed, “Elim, you’re going to be <em>late</em> for the trial,” he spoke worriedly. “It’s soon.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A cross expression filled Elim’s face, “<em>Family</em> is <em>more important</em> than some petty trial,” he replied in a voice that dared Kelas to bring up the subject again. “Is Julian going to…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>No</em>, Elim, Julian’s <em>not</em> going to die,” Kelas replied quickly. “Elim, the Castellan will be <em>upset</em> if you do not show up to help prosecute Gul Marak. The medical staff here is <em>well trained</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scowled, “Kelas, <em>please</em> go contact the Castellan and tell him that an emergency has arisen, so I will be unable to attend the trial today,” he stated firmly. “Get out of my face before I <em>snap</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, my dear friend, you have <em>already snapped</em>, but with good reason,” Kelas replied patiently as he stood up. “Do you want me to also contact Julian’s parents about what has happened?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim shook his head, “They’re so <em>oblivious</em> to the fact that they are the cause of this, so let them <em>rot</em> in their willful ignorance,” he spat, his expression angry. “I should have just told Julian he didn’t need to involve his parents in our lives. I’m <em>tempted</em> to <em>cancel</em> their travel permits…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Kelas could reply, the door to the emergency care room slid open and Galen came out looking tired, but relieved, “Legate, Doctor Bashir-Garak suffered a <em>relatively minor</em> stroke, but we have him stabilized,” he explained calmly. “Aren’t you going to be late for the trial?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Can I sit with him?” Elim replied in a concerned voice. “Hold his hand while he rests?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen looked confused, but he nodded and off Elim went into the emergency care room. He nodded at the nurses working on Julian before taking a seat on the stool beside the bed.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian was laying on the bed unconscious with a neurocortical monitor on his neck and a drip-feed in his left hand. His pajamas, which had been dirtied by the food in the fall, had been replaced by clean patient pajamas and a blanket was covering him from the waist down.</span>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing softly, Elim took hold of Julian’s hand and was relieved to see that it felt like a hand again, but it was relatively weak, “Oh, <em>my Julian</em>,” he spoke with a sigh. “I’m <em>so sorry</em> about my part in all of this. I should have <em>listened</em> to your concerns and <em>not let</em> your parents disrupt us.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The biomonitor, one of many that had been donated to the planet by the Federation to replace damaged equipment before relations had turned sour, blipped, “Julian?” Elim asked softly, looking up just in time to see Julian’s face twitch. “Someone get Kelas and Galen in here.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian’s eyes fluttered open, “<em>Elim</em>?” he asked in a weak voice, one barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m right here, my dear,” Elim spoke, sighing as Julian looked at him sporting a confused expression on his pale face. “Julian, you <em>collapsed</em> in the kitchen about two hours ago and Galen told me you had a <em>relatively minor stroke</em>. The <em>pressure</em> of living up to your parents and their expectations…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian’s eyes narrowed, “A <em>stroke</em>?” he replied weakly, frowning. “Elim, the <em>trial</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I want you to <em>rest</em> and <em>not worry</em> about me,” Elim spoke gently, but firmly. “<em>Sleep</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Kelas and Galen came into the room, having been alerted by a nurse, Julian returned to sleep and Elim kept his grip on his hand, “Admit him,” Elim instructed firmly, gazing at the two doctors. “I want Julian receiving the <em>absolutely best</em> medical care this facility has to offer even if it takes every bit of my Legate salary. Kelas, did you contact the Castellan like I told you to?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I left a message with Lady Marratt,” Kelas affirmed. “Elim, if you miss this trial, Gul Marak…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim responded with a rude gesture he had picked up from living on Deep Space Nine, “<em>That</em> is what I think of Gul Marak, Kelas,” he spoke firmly. “My place is <em>here</em>…with my Julian.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“If we’re admitting Julian to a ward, he <em>will need</em> a few things,” Galen spoke gently, eyeing Elim with a newfound respect for the Legate. “While we get him situated in a room, why don’t you hop on a skimmer and go get him some things? You <em>don’t</em> have to worry. He’ll be cared for.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, but released Julian’s hand and tucked it under the blanket so it would be warm as he rose from his seat, “I’ll be back in a little while,” he spoke calmly. “Keep him safe for me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…Julian hasn’t changed <em>one bit</em>, Amsha! He’s still flighty, immature, and doesn’t even bother to show us respect even though we came all the way from Earth to see him!” Elim heard an angry voice speak as he let himself into the house. “They didn’t even wake us for breakfast!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he strode into the kitchen and found Amsha cleaning the floor while Richard made some coffee, “Excuse us for our inconsiderate behavior, but Julian was <em>too busy</em> having a <em>stroke</em> to care about your wants!” the Cardassian snapped, his tone furious.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Amsha froze and Richard scowled, but Elim let out a little growl and could barely restrain himself from attacking them, “Ever since you two came to Cardassia, Julian’s <em>bent over backwards</em> to make himself <em>be as perfect as possible</em> because he knew you weren’t <em>capable</em> of accepting anything less!” Elim shouted angrily, his expression murderous as he went toe to toe with Richard. “Even when he wasn’t well, he pretended that he was fine just to make you two <em>insufferable ingrates</em> happy! He overdid it <em>just to please you</em>!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Both Bashirs were silent and staring at Elim wide-eyed, “Now, I have had <em>enough</em> of you <em>not appreciating</em> the gift that Julian is and I have something to say about it!” Elim spoke in the voice he usually reserved for criminals. “You two have been <em>less than graciou</em>s guests and I am <em>very tempted</em> to <em>cancel</em> your travel permissions and send you <em>packing</em>, but I am <em>not</em> going to do that only because I want to give you a chance to make things right with your son! I’m <em>certainly not</em> letting you visit Julian at the hospital, but I <em>will</em> give you a chance to decide what you want to do about the situation you are <em>responsible</em> for! If you want to leave, <em>go ahead</em>. If you want to stay, I <em>expect</em> you to <em>think very hard</em> how you have been treating <em>your son</em> and the fact that your <em>narrow mindedness</em> and <em>unreasonably unforgiving</em> expectations very nearly cost me my husband!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Swearing in Kardasi, Elim stormed into the master bedroom, found Julian’s bag and busied himself with packing comfortable clothes, extra slipper boots, a robe, his glasses, a few novels that had been left on the nightstand, toiletries, Julian’s ID, and Kukulaka so Julian would be comfortable. Elim also packed some a bag for himself so he could stay at Julian’s side.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The skimmer he had taken to the house was waiting outside, so Elim didn’t dawdle and he ignored the anxious voices coming from the kitchen as he left the house with the two bags.</span>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Back to the hospital, please,” Elim instructed once he was in the skimmer with the bags.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It took nearly an hour for the skimmer to get back to the hospital because of the extra weight of the bags and the daytime limits, but it made it. Elim paid the pilot before taking the bags into the hospital and quickly inquiring to where Julian had been moved. The clerk was confused to see him, as all knew that Gul Marek’s trial was today and he was <em>expected</em> there, but Elim got the information without a fight. He then made his way to the assigned room and found that Galen was sitting with Julian as the man slept in a bed that looked as if two people could sleep comfortably in it. Galen eyed Elim and the bags with a tired sigh, as Elim intended to stay a while no matter what the State demanded of him and that kind of thinking could cause issues.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“This is a <em>lovely</em> room,” Elim spoke as he walked over to the bed. “How is Julian?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen rose from the stool beside the bed, “Stable, but he’s going to sleep for a while simply because the stroke took a <em>lot</em> out of him and the medicine from Nepenthe has got a lot of work to do,” he explained in a calming voice. “It’s the best treatment I can give him now.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Elim opened Julian’s bag and got Kukulaka and a novel out before closing it again and leaving both bags on the floor. He rested Kukulaka on Julian’s chest and then climbed into bed next to Julian, “I <em>think</em> I’ll read to him for a while,” Elim said in a calm, but firm voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen opened his mouth to <em>protest </em>and <em>remind</em> Elim about the trial, but Elim quickly activated the book and began reading aloud to the sleeping Julian. Sighing, Galen closed his mouth and left the room because he <em>knew with a surety</em> that <em>nothing</em> would take Elim from Julian’s side.</span>
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</p><hr/>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…Legate Garak, you have several calls…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…Tell everyone I am dealing with a personal emergency and will contact them when I can!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Warmth filled Julian’s body as he slowly regained consciousness and he frowned at the sound of Elim’s voice reading a novel aloud, “<em>Elim</em>?” he asked in a tired voice. “<em>What happened</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim pressed a button on the novel and put it down, giving Julian a warm smile as he looked at him, “You’re in a patient room, Julian,” he explained softly. “I told them to admit you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian groaned weakly and he lifted the hand that was closest to Elim, snaking it through Elim’s free hand immediately while using the other hand to rub his face, “I can’t believe <em>I had a stroke</em>,” he spoke in a sleepy, weak voice. “I…I don’t <em>suppose</em> my parents have been to visit me?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m <em>not letting them</em> visit even if they choose to stay after the tongue lashing I gave them,” Elim admitted in a firm voice, giving Julian a look. “They <em>deserved</em> to be yelled at so I did it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A weak chuckle escaped Julian’s lips as he sighed sleepily, but he suddenly frowned as if remembering something, “Elim, the <em>trial</em>…” he spoke softly, gazing at him. “What time is it?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Late afternoon,” Elim replied gently, sighing. “I <em>haven’t </em>left your side all day except to get you some things from the house. I’m <em>sure</em> the Castellan will want a word, but <em>you are my priority</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed sleepily, “<em>I love you</em>,” he murmured softly as he drifted back into a deep sleep. "I'm <em>so</em> tired."</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim responded by gently planting a kiss on Julian’s forehead. A smile appeared on Julian’s lips as he slept.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, you have a call that <em>I think you had better take</em>,” Kelas’s voice suddenly spoke softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim reluctantly got up off the bed and saw Kelas standing in the doorway, “<em>What is it</em>?” he asked in a tired, slightly irritated voice. “Kelas, if it’s the Castellan or his aides…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Just come with me</em>,” Kelas spoke in a hushed voice. “We <em>don’t</em> want to wake Julian up.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s eyes narrowed dangerously, but he followed Kelas and was surprised to be led to the main waiting room of the hospital. To his amazement, Richard and Amsha Bashir were sitting in the waiting room, both of them looking uncomfortable and somewhat uneasy about being there.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“They <em>somehow</em> found their way here and have been asking anyone in a uniform to talk to you and Julian,” Kelas spoke in a hushed voice. “They’re <em>upset</em> about <em>some conflict</em> you and them…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Elim wandered into the waiting area and cleared his throat expectantly, “I’m honestly <em>surprised </em>to see you two still on Cardassia after our fight this morning,” he spoke as soon as the two looked up at him. “The fact that you both simply didn’t <em>run away</em>…it sends a message.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian <em>is our only son</em> and we <em>did not mean</em> to cause him enough stress that he ended up having a <em>stroke</em>,” Amsha spoke in an apologetic voice, frowning worriedly at Elim. “We’ve missed him <em>deeply</em> since he moved to Cardassia and our worry for him only grew ever since we heard about…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard sighed, “I was <em>undoubtedly harsh</em> on Julian and I should have told him it was okay that he was not well,” he admitted with a sigh. “We came to see him because he was ill and we got <em>scared</em> when we saw how sick he <em>actually</em> was. In all honesty, though, I would <em>rather</em> have an ill son and be able to enjoy his existence instead of losing him. I <em>should</em> have said that sooner.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim found himself taken aback and he suddenly found himself wanting to grant forgiveness for Julian’s sake. Julian needed all the support he could get right now and Elim could also use the help in caring for him, “<em>All right</em>,” he conceded softly. “I’ll show you to Julian’s room.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The older Bashirs looked extremely repentant and grateful as Elim led them to Julian’s room, as they didn’t expect to be granted forgiveness and a second chance. Upon seeing Julian, Amsha immediately hurried over to the bed and gently hugged him, prompting him to suddenly wake and stare at her.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Julian</em>,” Amsha spoke in a soothing, motherly tone as she stroked his sweaty brow. “<em>Oh, Julian</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A relieved expression filled Julian’s face and Richard took that as an invitation to approach the bed, “Julian, I’m <em>sorry</em>,” Richard spoke in a concerned, penitent voice. “Can you forgive me?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Yes,” Julian replied in a tired, groggy voice, offering a faint smile. “I’m <em>glad</em> you both came.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim hung back, as he wanted Julian to have equal time with his parents and he was pleased that the Bashirs were able to reconcile. As he stood there, a nurse suddenly came in and gave him a tablet.</span>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Bowing nervously, the nurse left and Elim studied the tablet intently. On it was a message from the Ministry of Justice speaking on behalf of the Castellan. The trial had been postponed and Gul Marak was still in prison, but Castellan Marratt wanted a <em>meeting</em> with Elim at his earliest convenience.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The sound of quiet talking filled the room and Elim looked up at the Bashirs, relieved to find them all talking amicably. It was a <em>perfect</em> opportunity for him to slip out to process the message, so he did.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing heavily, Elim sank down on to a bench just outside the door and let out a tired sigh. He had spent so many years <em>declaring undying loyalty</em> to Cardassia and <em>sacrificing everything</em> to serve the State. His loyalty to duty had remained unchanged even after he and Julian had married and Julian had accepted it mainly because he had been the same way in loving his duty to practice medicine.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Now that Julian was unable to practice medicine and was facing an indefinite time where he was unable to, however, Elim found himself questioning his own priorities. <em>Never</em> since the Castellan had been elected had Elim neglected any of his Legate duties or missed trials until Julian got sick.</span>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian <em>was and would always be</em> enough, Elim mused. He just had to stand firm on that even if the Castellan offered him money and more power. Julian was worth <em>far more than anything</em> in the world.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Beautiful Hearts and Beautiful Minds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Name: Julian Subatoi Bashir-Garak</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Birthday: August 29, 2341</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Age: 41</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Citizenship: Cardassian</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Status: Protected Citizen by order of Castellan Malko Marratt</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Current State of Health: Post-Stroke Patient, Recovering from Neural Trauma triggered by abdominal hysterectomy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Additional Notes: Dr. Bashir-Garak was abducted from a Cardassia City tent clinic in 2376 by an unknown Federation vessel and held in an unknown location for approximately three weeks where he was also subject to aggressive interrogation. How he returned to Cardassia is unknown but he was discovered injured upon return and those injuries included severe amnesia, post-traumatic stress disorder, muteness, fractured ankles, and extensive bruising…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Julian sighed as he put his glasses on his face and was treated to the sight of clearer print. His vision had weakened because of the stroke, as had his ability to tolerate cold temperatures. He didn’t know how much more of himself had been damaged, but he was determined to find out.</p><p> </p><p>It had been five days since the stroke and he was just now beginning to feel better, but Julian knew he had a long way to go before he was well. He also knew that some of the health he had been used to before the abduction, before the hysterectomy, and before the neurological traumas he had suffered lately might never come back. He was still young, but <em>felt</em> so very old and he truly <em>looked</em> beyond his age in slipper boots, his pajamas, a robe, and his modified glasses.</p><p> </p><p>“Enjoying your chart?” the calm familiar voice of Galen suddenly filled the room.</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, “I’m finding it <em>hard</em> to read or see much of anything or anyone clearly without glasses or visual aids,” he replied softly, setting the chart aside. “I’m also feeling weakness in my legs moreso than usual. I <em>know</em> I just had a stroke, but the medicine and my Augmentation <em>should</em> be making my recovery easier. <em>Maybe</em> I’m just overthinking since nobody’s around.”</p><p> </p><p>Silence filled the room and Julian looked up to see Galen eyeing him worriedly, “I admit, I’m <em>concerned</em> that you mentioned all of that,” Galen spoke in a concerned voice, frowning. “I want to run some <em>extensive</em> tests on your motor skills and cognitive abilities, but it will take some time to arrange everything. In the meantime, I believe Kelas wants to talk to you about something.”</p><p> </p><p>Nodding, Julian slowly sat up and used his hands to pull his hoverchair close to him because he had a terrible feeling he would fall if he tried to stand. Galen watched as Julian painstakingly relocated himself from the bed to the hoverchair using his arms as much as possible. The Cardassian doctor also noticed that when Julian did use his legs, they shook uncontrollably as if the muscles were incapable of doing such a simple task. It was <em>truly</em> a concerning sight, but Galen kept his thoughts to himself as he moved Julian’s drip-box to the handle on the hoverchair and also made sure Kukulaka, who had been in Julian’s arm, remained secure in the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to call Elim or your parents before you undergo the tests?” Galen asked.</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, “Elim’s meeting with the Castellan today and my parents are resting at the house,” he replied in a distressed voice, frowning. “They’ve <em>all</em> worked so hard to help me since I had the stroke that <em>I think</em> they <em>need</em> a break. I can talk to Kelas alone and handle <em>whatever</em> he tells me.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s waiting for you in the atrium,” Galen stated calmly, noticing that Julian didn’t mention whether or not he wanted Elim or his parents to know or he summoned for when the tests happened. “I’ll walk with you and then go arrange the tests while you talk to him.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian silently relented and the two made their way to the atrium. When they arrived, Julian’s eyes widened: sitting with Kelas on a couch near the window was Commander Deanna Troi-Riker. She was wearing simple civilian clothing with no sign of Starfleet on her person and Julian found himself grateful for that, as the mere <em>thought</em> of Starfleet was triggering to him.</p><p> </p><p>Kelas and Deanna both offered Julian a smile as he and Galen approached, “Doctor Parmak, a word?” Galen spoke in a concerned voice. “We should leave these two to talk alone.”</p><p> </p><p>The two Cardassian doctors quickly made themselves scarce and Deanna eyed the IV bag above Julian’s hoverchair briefly before looking at him directly, “I arrived yesterday and contacted the hospital to arrange a discussion, but Doctor Parmak insisted on talking to me first,” Deanna explained in a calm voice. “He told me today that you had suffered a stroke five days ago?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Julian replied softly, sighing. “I’m…I’m <em>not</em> back to my old self yet, unfortunately.”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna nodded, “I can sense a large amount of frustration inside of you and I don’t mean to pry, but even with your Augmentations, you’re still <em>very much</em> a Human being,” she spoke in a gentle, but matter-of-fact tone. “You’ve had <em>terrible</em> things happen to you in recent years and the trauma from that is <em>not</em> going to ever fully leave you. Your kidnapping and everything else has caused you <em>deep</em> levels of physical and emotional trauma, but you don’t want to admit it to yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you saying I’m <em>too arrogant</em> to admit my weaknesses?” Julian asked softly, frowning.</p><p> </p><p>Deanna sighed, “I’m sensing <em>fear</em> and <em>I think</em> that you’re more afraid that if you let yourself admit you have issues that may be with you for the rest of your life, others may not see you as valuable enough to keep in their lives,” she stated gently. “You’re scared of losing your husband, your parents, and the respect of anyone who you know. That’s why you want to <em>pretend</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>At that, tears filled Julian’s eyes and he began to cry because he knew Deanna was <em>exactly right</em> in her analysis. Instead of saying anything or leaving, Deanna simply sat there and let him cry.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>Elim stood alone in the waiting area of the Castellan’s home after being granted entry by one of the many staffers within the large abode. He had been sleeping at the hospital with Julian since the stroke, as it was a <em>fact </em>that neither of them could sleep well alone, but he had left earlier that day to prepare himself for the meeting with the Castellan that he had been dreading.</p><p> </p><p>“…I would absolutely <em>love</em> to visit your galleries with you, Lady Marratt,” a calm, slightly familiar voice suddenly filled the air. “I <em>promised</em> my son, Barin, I would bring him some presents since I wouldn’t let him skip school to come with us and I'm sure some Cardassian artwork will be an <em>educational gift</em> for him. Is this an appropriate outfit for summer here?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim’s eyes went wide as Lady Marratt and Ambassador Lwaxana Troi suddenly came out of the dining room both wearing simple summer dresses that covered their shoulders, had sleeves down to the elbows, and went to their ankles, “I think it’s <em>lovely</em>,” Lady Marratt replied in a kind voice, her smile growing when she saw Elim. “Good morning, Legate Garak. How are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I...I don’t know yet,” Elim admitted nervously, frowning. “If you have company, I can <em>leave</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Lady Marratt chuckled, “Ambassador Troi and her daughter, Deanna, are <em>guests</em> of Cardassia and I’m entertaining the Ambassador today,” she replied calmly. “The Castellan is <em>expecting</em> you.”</p><p> </p><p>Before Elim, who was shocked that Deanna Troi-Riker was actually on the planet and must be visiting with Julian, could reply, the Castellan came out of the dining room holding a tablet in his hands, “My dear Myrina, you forgot your workbook,” he said in a warm voice, handing it to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Lady Marratt replied gently, smiling at him. “We shall see you later on after our work at the galleries is finished for the day. Ambassador Troi wishes to enjoy Cardassia’s culture and also find a gift for her son.”</p><p> </p><p>The two ladies left with smiles on their faces and Elim swallowed hard as he looked the Castellan in the face, “Walk with me, Legate Garak,” Castellan Marratt spoke calmly.</p><p> </p><p>Elim obeyed and followed Castellan Marratt into the more private areas of the manor, sighing as they eventually seated themselves on couches in the indoor atrium, “I <em>suppose</em> I owe you an explanation as to why I did not attend Gul Marak’s trial despite being ordered to,” Elim spoke in a subdued voice, his expression cautious as he gazed at the Castellan sitting across from him.</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt said nothing and his expression was neutral, so Elim took that as permission to speak, “Julian’s parents had been visiting for a couple of days at that point and Julian was so <em>overstressed and overtaxed</em> that he ended up having a relatively minor stroke right there in the kitchen!” Elim confessed anxiously. “He’s still in the hospital and stable, but I don’t know if he’ll <em>ever</em> be what he once was. Everything that’s happened to him in the past seven years has taken a toll..."</p><p> </p><p>“Legate, I <em>did</em> receive your message,” Castellan Marratt spoke quietly, cutting Elim off.</p><p> </p><p>Elim fell silent and Castellan Marratt sighed patiently, “I am <em>not</em> charging you with dereliction of duty or disloyalty to the State, Legate,” Castellan Marratt spoke calmly. “I am, however, <em>concerned</em> for you and your husband. We take care of each other on Cardassia and I’m <em>concerned </em>that you and Doctor Julian are feeling like you <em>cannot</em> rely on the State for assistance.”</p><p> </p><p>“You…you’re the one who arranged for Ambassador and Commander Troi to come here, <em>aren’t you</em>?” Elim asked in a surprised, but cautious voice. “I <em>know</em> you’re aware that I contacted Captain Riker…”</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt nodded, “The Federation and Starfleet have changed for the <em>worse</em> in the years since the Dominion War and that may be due to the fact that <em>so many</em> were lost,” he explained in a concerned voice, sighing. “There are some within Starfleet who are finding <em>discontent</em> with everything that has happened since the war, but they have to be <em>careful</em> because the Federation is still a <em>very powerful</em> entity. It was Doctor Julian’s abduction and the reaction to it that made me realize just how <em>fractured</em> the Federation was. As <em>serious</em> a crime as it was, it was <em>kept a secret</em>. It was kept a secret and lying, secrecy, and torturing one of its members is <em>absolutely no</em>t acceptable. Such <em>duplicitous</em> behavior is why Cardassia refused to join the Federation and we will probably <em>never</em> join the Federation...at least not while I am serving as the Castellan.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked surprised at that, but didn’t say anything, “Captain Riker let me know that Starfleet is <em>quite angry</em> with the fact that the news about Doctor Julian’s abduction is now public and that it has caused outcry from member worlds,” Castellan Marratt explained softly. “I also learned that Richard and Amsha Bashir were told by Federation Immigration officials that they <em>were not</em> to leave Earth because it would be a <em>breach</em> of Richard Bashir’s terms of probation attached to his release from prison, but they arranged private transport and came anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>“So Richard Bashir is facing <em>charges</em> for coming here?” Elim asked in a stunned voice.</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt sighed, “Legate Garak, Richard Bashir was told that if he ever left Earth again after his release from the penal colony, it would mean <em>expulsion</em> from the planet for the rest of his natural life,” he replied calmly, his expression solemn. “He’s welcome to visit other Federation worlds and Utopia Planita, but he is <em>not allowed</em> to set foot on Earth again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Julian and I <em>both</em> misperceived things then,” Elim realized. “They were <em>tense and upset</em> the days leading up to Julian’s stroke and Richard Bashir said some <em>unkind things</em> about Julian…”</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt nodded, “They were <em>probably</em> realizing the ramifications of what they had done and handled their stress from it poorly,” he replied calmly. “Show <em>compassion</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>A beep suddenly filled the air, “<em>Incoming message</em>,” a nearby computer announced.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me take this,” Castellan Marratt said in an apologetic voice as he rose and hurried over to the comms terminal near the door. “Computer, play message. Authorization Castellan 001.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas’s face appeared on the screen, “<em>Is Legate Garak still there, Castellan</em>?” he asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt turned towards Elim and fearing the worst, Elim rose and hurried over to the screen, “<em>Elim, you best get back here as soon as you can</em>,” Kelas spoke worriedly. “<em>I’ve authorized Doctor Dastra to run more extensive tests on Doctor Julian based on the fact that he’s having more symptoms post-stroke. Commander Troi-Riker is here, but Doctor Julian is scared</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Legate Garak is on his way,” Castellan Marratt spoke firmly before Elim could respond.</p><p> </p><p>As the call ended, a frightened expression filled Elim’s face and he suddenly was unsure if he was <em>capable</em> of pretending to be brave for both himself and Julian. <em>Could he really do it?</em></p><p> </p><p>A few moments passed and Elim suddenly felt himself being escorted outside by the Castellan himself towards a skimmer, “We best <em>hurry</em>, Legate,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a kind voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I…you’re <em>coming with me</em>?!” Elim managed to squeak as they boarded the skimmer.</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt smirked, “I <em>had </em>cleared my schedule for the day because I anticipated guiding you through various resources that you and your husband could access to assist with his care,” he replied in an official voice. “You are a <em>member of my staff and a friend</em>. Why <em>can’t</em> I come? I have to speak to Doctor Parmak and see about arranging resources of help for your family.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim had no answer for that, so he merely found a seat and gazed out at the vast cityscape in absolute silence.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p><em>Pain, frustration, sadness, grief, worry, weakness. I’m getting exhausted, but I can’t stop.</em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Elim’s going to leave me when he realizes I can hardly walk. And my parents will be sad.</em>
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</p><p>Seated on the couch in the room at Julian’s request, Deanna Troi-Riker watched worriedly as Julian made his way across a small mat with his hands on support bars. His steps, which were done in bare feet so the tests would be more accurate, were slow, delayed, and uncoordinated. It was if there was a hold up in Julian’s brain being able to send the message to his feet to move. Julian's thoughts, however, were crystal clear and Deanna felt worried about him feeling so many things at once because such thoughts and concerns were taxing enough on a brain that was <em>healthy</em>. Such thoughts might be too overwhelming for Julian's. If left unspoken or unresolved, Julian's thoughts and feelings could trigger <em>another</em> stroke.</p><p> </p><p>Galen was standing next to the bars, watching worriedly as he made some notes on Julian’s medical chart tablet. It was one of several tests and scans that had already been completed and it was visibly obvious that Julian was getting tired, but he wouldn’t allow himself to stop.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor Bashir-Garak, I have everything I need,” Galen spoke softly. “You can go sit down.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian, however, remained where he was because he was too exhausted and sore to even move, “I’m <em>too</em> tired and sore,” he manage to speak weakly. “Could I have my hoverchair, please?”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna quickly got up and retrieved the chair, offering Julian a reassuring smile as she approached him, “Here,” she spoke in a kind voice. “Just take your time, Doctor…”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Julian,</em> please,” Julian replied quickly, wincing while he forced himself over to the chair and sat down in it. “With <em>this kind</em> of a body, I <em>don’t</em> know how much ‘<em>doctoring’</em> I can do anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Galen quickly made a few more notes in the chart before slipping the tablet into the pocket of his lab coat and walking over to Julian and Deanna, “You’re <em>tired</em>, Doctor Bashir-Garak…” he said.</p><p> </p><p>“Is the medicine from Nepenthe <em>supposed</em> to be doing <em>this</em>?!” Julian interrupted anxiously, his expression one of deep frustration. “Or is this the stroke slowly taking away my ability to <em>live</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Galen scoffed, “You’re <em>still very much alive</em>, but this anxiety <em>isn’t good</em> for you,” he replied. “I <em>think</em> some rest in your room might help. Commander Troi-Riker can go with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna felt a surge of anger and frustration from Julian as she followed him from the testing room and back down the corridor to his assigned hospital room. Julian, however, said nothing and merely parked himself beside the window that looked out at the city instead of returning to bed. Sensing his need to talk, Deanna retrieved a chair and silently took a seat beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>appreciate</em> you staying, Counselor Troi” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, his expression sad as he looked at Deanna. “I’m <em>so overwhelmed</em> right now because this all came from a need for a <em>simple </em>hysterectomy. What’s happening to me now is <em>anything but</em> <em>simple</em> and I’m <em>hurting</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna nodded and Julian sighed, “My parents will come later and <em>God only knows</em> when Elim will come because he’s <em>probably</em> in <em>huge trouble</em> with the Castellan over skipping work,” he exhaled anxiously, his frown deepening. “I <em>should have</em> pushed him to go to work from the very beginning, but I <em>needed</em> him and I was <em>too unwell</em> to do <em>anything but need him</em>. I <em>still</em> am.”</p><p> </p><p>“During the tests, I sensed a <em>flurry</em> of emotions from you and I’m <em>concerned</em> you’re <em>overwhelming</em> yourself with <em>assumptions</em> that <em>might not</em> even be <em>real</em>,” Deanna spoke in a concerned voice, giving Julian a look. “I <em>don’t know</em> how it’s been since you and Elim Garak married, but I <em>do</em> remember seeing you two during your courting phase. I could feel real, unconditional love between the two of you. I can still feel that you have that love for him inside of you, but I also feel like you’re having a <em>problem</em> with loving and accepting yourself. Your self-hate is making you <em>question</em> if you are <em>worthy</em> of Elim's love…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian exhaled sadly, “<em>Yes</em>,” he interrupted softly. “I <em>worry</em> I’m <em>no longer good enough</em> for Elim or that he’ll get <em>bored</em> and want someone who can give him everything he needs and wants. I <em>hate</em> that I can’t seem to be well and I haven’t been mentally or physically well since I was kidnapped and held <em>God knows where</em> for three weeks. I know my weaknesses <em>hurt Elim</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>“No, they <em>absolutely do not</em>!” an upset voice suddenly filled the air. “<em>All of what you said</em>…<em>My God</em>, Julian!”</p><p> </p><p>Julian tensed as Elim suddenly came into view, having heard Julian’s ranting as he came down the hallway after leaving the Castellan to speak to Kelas in private, “You get very <em>noisy</em> and <em>emotional</em> when you’re <em>upset</em>, my dear,” Elim spoke in a firm voice, sighing at Julian.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Elim</em>…” Julian spoke softly, lowering his head in shame because he was very embarrassed that his angry, over-emotional ranting had been overheard. “I <em>know</em> all of this has <em>hurt</em> you. I <em>know</em> me being ill has <em>hurt</em> you.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim responded by moving the chair back to the bed and Deanna remained where she was, sensing that she would eventually be invited to speak with the both of them, “My dearest Julian, I <em>do believe</em> it’s time for you to be back in your bed where you can <em>rest</em>,” Elim spoke sternly.</p><p> </p><p>Julian didn’t fight as he was returned to his spot in the bed, “Elim, my legs are slowly <em>losing</em> <em>the ability to function</em>,” he said in a pained voice, desperate to get the shameful revelation out. “I mentioned to Doctor Dastra that I’ve been having mobility problems and so he ran <em>tests</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked shocked, but nodded silently, “My dear, we’ll weather the storm <em>together</em>,” he spoke in a reassuring voice, sighing as he sat on the edge of the double bed. “It hurts me to see you in such pain and so unwell, but it will not stop me from loving you. I'm hurting <em>for</em> you and I am <em>sad</em> that you are <em>not allowing me to share</em> in your burdens as a spouse should. As long as you <em>survive</em>, it <em>doesn’t matter to me</em> if you lose your ability to walk. You are <em>still very much mine</em> and I <em>love</em> you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be <em>so much more work</em> for you if I end up <em>losing</em> the use of my legs, though,” Julian replied worriedly, frowning when Elim fully positioned himself on the bed. “My parents are here now and are being <em>very</em> helpful, but they will eventually go home and it’ll just be the two of us…”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna frowned when she suddenly sensed a <em>high level</em> of concern and guilt within Elim, as if he were struggling with sharing something difficult, “I <em>need</em> to speak with you about that, <em>actually</em>,” Elim finally spoke after an uneasy pause. “I <em>need</em> to tell you something the Castellan told me during our meeting today and I <em>don’t</em> want you to say <em>anything or react</em> until I am done sharing.”</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly feeling concerned, Julian nodded and kept quiet as Elim shared what the Castellan had told him. Deanna also listened intently, as she could feel that they would need to discuss it later.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>It was well into the afternoon when Richard and Amsha Bashir finally came to the hospital after discussing how to tell Julian and Elim about their situation. They knew the travel permissions Elim had gotten them were only temporarily and would eventually run out, but they had no home to return to. Knowing that, Richard and Amsha had packed all their personal possessions and had abandoned the furniture and household items because none of it really had <em>any</em> meaning to them.</p><p> </p><p>To their surprise, Julian’s room was quiet when they arrived. Julian was sound asleep in bed and Elim was sitting in a chair next to the bed, hunched over a tablet and working in silence.</p><p> </p><p>Amsha Bashir cleared her throat and Elim looked up at them, offering a smile as he rose and walked over to them, “Julian’s resting, but I wish to speak to both of you alone,” he spoke in a hushed voice. “I met with the Castellan today and he told me something <em>very</em> interesting…”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Oh</em>,” Richard replied grimly, his expression ashen as he quickly realized what Elim was referring to. “Look, Elim, you can say <em>whatever you want</em> to me and <em>even </em>tell us to leave, but <em>don’t hurt Julian</em> by telling him what we sacrificed to be here. He’s been through <em>enough</em>. We handled the first couple of days poorly, but we <em>really</em> have to think of <em>what</em> we're going to do...”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, “I am <em>not </em>going to tell Julian that you got yourself <em>expelled from Earth</em> for <em>defying an order of probation</em> from Starfleet, but I <em>expect</em> you to tell him,” he replied in a firm, but hushed voice as they moved out of the room so not to wake Julian. “I <em>have the power</em> to extend your travel permissions and help you figure out what you want to do next, but I <em>will not</em> use my power and authority to help you if you <em>can’</em>t bring yourself <em>to be honest</em> with Julian about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>will be</em>, but not until he’s stronger,” Richard replied quietly, sighing. “He got <em>very, very upset</em> and <em>shaken</em> when I was arrested for illegal genetic engineering and I got <em>several letters</em> full of sad ruminations. My son is not very good at hiding when he's upset or scared. Julian will <em>worry, get upset, and blame himself</em> and that <em>will not</em> be good for him right now. I want him to just <em>focus on recovering</em> right now and I will tell him when it won't cause him to have another stroke.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim paused, as he <em>knew</em> that Richard had a point and was showing <em>character</em> by prioritizing Julian’s health over his personal difficulties, “I’ll keep your secret and do what I can to help you both until Julian is in a condition to be told,” Elim acquiesced softly. “I’m <em>sorry</em> it happened and I admit, you have courage coming to see Julian even though you knew it would produce such devastating consequences for you and your wife. I fear I <em>misjudged you</em> and I am <em>sorry</em> for that, Richard.”</p><p> </p><p>“Elim, I also misjudged you and Julian and I admit, I <em>lost faith</em> in Starfleet's goodness and effectiveness when I heard Captain Riker share about Julian’s abduction,” Richard admitted in a solemn voice. “I <em>can’t believe</em> Starfleet would <em>want to hurt</em> someone who served them simply because they fell in love with a Cardassian and <em>diverted</em> from an expected path. Julian did not commit some sort of <em>espionage</em> by falling in love with you. I'm <em>glad</em> he fell in love with you, as you are good for him and he is most definitely good for you. I can see it very clearly how much you two love one another. ”</p><p> </p><p>The three suddenly became quiet and focused their attention on Julian as he slept, completely oblivious to what was happening. Time passed and both Richard and Amsha eventually entered the room to sit at Julian’s bedside and be there for him as much as they could because he <em>needed</em> them.</p><p> </p><p>Elim, meanwhile, remained in the hallway because he felt like he needed a moment to breathe freely before living up to the promise he made to Julian to be there for better or for worse. Everything was happening <em>so incredibly fast</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Legate Garak?” Elim suddenly heard a soft voice ask. “Are you all right? I sense sadness…”</p><p> </p><p>Elim turned to see Deanna watching him from nearby, “I stepped out to check in with my mother and also let Will know I’ll need more time on Cardassia,” Deanna explained as she approached him.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>don’t suppose I could talk</em> to you?” Elim asked meekly, sighing. “I’m feeling <em>overwhelmed</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna nodded and the two of them sat on a couch not far from the door, “I <em>want</em> to be more open with Julian about how I’m feeling, but I can’t help but remember my old mentor, Enabran Tain,” Elim admitted in a quiet voice. “He always considered me <em>weak</em> and <em>unreliable</em> for my <em>attachment</em> to <em>sentiment</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re <em>not weak</em> for admitting that Julian’s health issues are also affecting you,” Deanna replied in a gentle, but firm expression as she felt Elim’s guilt and pain. “<em>None</em> of what has happened is your fault nor should you allow yourself to think it is. From what I understand of the situation, it happened so suddenly and it started out as simple enough, but quickly intensified with one complication after another.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded, “It started out as Julian having reproductive issues and needing to have surgery to help himself feel better,” he spoke with a weary sigh in his voice. “Neural complications came up during the surgery and then Julian ended up having a <em>stroke</em>. How did something <em>so simple</em> turn into such a <em>mess?</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>wish</em> I had an answer for that, Legate Garak, but I <em>don’t</em>,” Deanna replied softly. “Maybe there <em>isn’</em>t an answer that we can see right now. I’m here to help your family through this and I also brought my mother along to try and help Julian regain his memories of the abduction when and if he’s strong enough to try. My mother’s a stronger Betazoid than I am, so the Castellan <em>personally requested</em> that she accompany me. We’re going to take all of this just one step at a time, though, because that is <em>what is best</em> for Julian.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim’s eyes widened in surprise at Deanna’s frankness and also at the fact that the Castellan seemed approving of the fact that answers about Julian’s abduction would take time to be found <em>if</em> any answers could, in fact, be found safely.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Darkness Before the Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Truth is pain...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days later, Deanna Troi-Riker found herself alone with her mother and being granted access to very privileged information. Her mother had woken early that day and had asked her to come with her on an errand that she had forgotten to do while in the company of Lady Marratt. Almost immediately, Deanna could sense that her mother wasn’t telling the truth, but obeyed anyway.</p><p> </p><p>The Castellan and Lady Marratt had not joined them at breakfast, as they were in private conference with one another, and so the two ladies had left quicker. Lwaxana had not said where they were going nor why they were going, but Deanna had a strong feeling that it had something to do with the sense she had gotten upon arriving on Cardassia: that someone <em>familiar</em> was there.</p><p> </p><p>A skimmer took them from Cardassia City to New Lakaria, not stopping until they reached the outermost city limit. The building they stopped at was a newer one and resembled a multi-level apartment building, but there was a gate and a very secure looking fence around it. Deanna could see that the backyard was filled with a lush looking garden containing plants of all kinds.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mother, where are we</em>?” Deanna asked telepathically as they got off the skimmer.</p><p> </p><p>Lwaxana sighed, “<em>Deanna, Lady Marratt and I came out here yesterday as part of our errands and she is responsible for keeping these individuals safe</em>,” she explained telepathically. “<em>She confided in me and I am confiding in you because this information will help Doctor Bashir-Garak.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Deanna nodded and followed Lwaxana to the gate, deeply surprised when the older woman inputted a code that allowed the gate to open without incident. The two walked up to the door and Lwaxana knocked as the skimmer took off into the desert to return to Cardassia City, as Lwaxana had ordered the skimmer to leave once they were inside the gate.</p><p> </p><p>A moment of silence filled the air before the door opened revealing a young Asian boy who was about 10 years old, “Yoshi, are your parents home?” Lwaxana asked softly. “It’s Mrs. Troi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mommy and Daddy and Molly are working on school and I’m supposed to, but it’s <em>boring</em>,” Yoshi whined in a quiet voice. “Daddy said that if you ever came, you were allowed in.”</p><p> </p><p>Lwaxana nodded and Deanna’s eyes widened, recognizing the name <em>Molly. </em>Yoshi stepped aside quickly, however, and the two women went inside the house. To Deanna’s surprise, Miles, Keiko, and Molly O’Brien were sitting in the living room, all of them working on various projects.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Chief O’Brien</em>?!” Deanna spoke in a stunned voice. “It was <em>you</em> I felt when I first came here! I felt the presence of <em>someone familiar</em>, but I assumed it was only Doctor Bashir. What are…?”</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Miles O’Brien sighed and rose from his seat with what looked like a Cardassian newspaper in hand, “<em>Backyard</em>,” he said in a quiet voice. “We can talk better out there.”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna nodded and silently followed Miles out into the lush backyard where, along with plants that were well-cared for, there were benches. The two sat on a bench and Miles sighed softly.</p><p> </p><p>“When Lady Marratt was here yesterday, she told me you were here too and that she was going to conference with the Castellan about us,” Miles said with a sigh, his expression sad. “Ever since we came here with what we could fit in the runabout, she’s been very kind to us.”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna frowned, “How long have you and your family been living here?” she asked in a confused, but kind voice. “Last I heard, you were <em>teaching</em> at Starfleet Academy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I did for a few months and then I got taken to task for using methods to extract information from Luther Sloan,” Miles confessed. “The methods Julian and I used led to his death and that’s the <em>excuse</em> Admiral Ross used to get me out of teaching. In <em>actuality</em>, he had an <em>assignment</em> for me and he <em>needed</em> me to do it in <em>secret</em>. He asked <em>me </em>because of how close I was to Julian.”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna suddenly felt uneasy, but she remained quiet, “<em>Officially</em>, Admiral Ross ordered me to Deep Space Nine to help the new crew get up to scratch on how to operate things since most everyone was different and the new crew didn’t know much about the station,” Miles explained in a quiet voice. “<em>Unofficially</em>, though, I was to take care of a <em>problem</em> the new captain had.”</p><p> </p><p>An uneasiness filled the yard, but Miles kept talking, “Colonel Kira had just left command and the new captain was <em>very</em> anti-Semitic and <em>especially hated</em> that an Augment was allowed to work freely in Starfleet without consequence,” he explained. “Anyway, Admiral Ross and the new captain ordered me to take a prisoner from the station and dump him anywhere outside of Federation space to die because he had no value to the Federation. It was then that…I-I saw…”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna paused as tears filled Miles’s eyes as he sighed heavily, “I recognized him right away even with all the blood and bruising,” Miles reflected shakily. “Julian was being held in a cell in the very brig Odo used to patrol. He had been interrogated at least once a day using extreme methods, not allowed any food or water, and had been declared a <em>criminal</em> by Starfleet. The captain told me that the <em>“worthless Augment criminal”</em> had been in his company for two weeks and he was sick of wasting resources on him when the man “<em>didn’t even deserve to be alive</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“What happened then?” Deanna asked in a concerned voice, frowning at Miles’s tears.</p><p> </p><p>Miles sighed, “I accepted Julian into my custody and then left the station in the runabout Starfleet had provided,” he explained shakily. “I did what I could for his injuries and then I had to think about where to take him because I wanted <em>someone he trusted</em> to find him and to take care of him. It was then that I remembered how he and Garak used to spend time together…”</p><p> </p><p>“And you <em>didn’t know</em> they were dating?” Deanna asked in a confused voice.</p><p> </p><p>Miles shook his head, “Julian was never very good with letters and neither was I, but then I got an invitation to his and Garak’s wedding and realized that I made the right choice in taking him to Cardassia Prime,” he admitted. “I knew I couldn’t stay or show my face, so I made Julian as comfortable as possible and then simulated that the shuttle had crashed. I <em>had</em> to make others think that he had escaped on his own. Being at the wedding was <em>agonizing</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna frowned, but Miles kept talking, “I had to pretend I didn’t know anything about what had happened and Julian didn’t discuss it either,” he ruminated softly. “After the wedding, though, I talked with Keiko and told her the truth about what Starfleet had made me do. Keiko was upset, but she could see that all of that had outright destroyed my confidence in Starfleet. Admiral Ross, however, was <em>very pleased</em> with my following orders and offered me a promotion to Dean of Engineering at the Academy. He told me that Julian’s death was <em>for the greater good</em> and that Starfleet would be better for it. I was <em>so disgusted</em> by what he said, but I didn’t stand up to him.”</p><p> </p><p>Miles suddenly began to weep openly, “I told Keiko that I needed to go somewhere where I could reflect on what I had done to someone I considered my best friend while we were on Deep Space Nine,” he trembled softly. “Keiko, bless her, <em>insisted</em> that we handle the situation as a family and so we all left Earth. She knew that the best way for me to heal from what happened was to be refugees on Cardassia Prime so I could watch over Julian’s recovery from afar and understand that he would be all right in Garak’s care. We’ve been here about a year.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lady Marratt helped you hide, didn’t she?” Deanna realized in a quiet voice.</p><p> </p><p>Miles nodded, “The wife of the Castellan has ultimate authority when it comes to any work she deems essential and so she helped us find a place in New Lakaria,” he explained. “It’s close enough to the Capital that I can keep apprised of all the news, but far enough away that Julian doesn’t know. When your Lady Marratt told us yesterday about Julian’s health and his stroke, though, I <em>knew</em> the time was coming where I’d have to face Julian and take responsibility.”</p><p> </p><p>“How did Starfleet take your sudden departure from Earth?” Deanna asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Miles scoffed, “We’ve moved around so frequently that Starfleet’s had a <em>hard </em>time keeping track of us, but Admiral Ross did manage to contact me and said that he <em>knew</em> I didn’t leave Julian to die, but it wouldn’t be a problem because he was <em>outside</em> Federation space,” he replied. “He <em>did</em>, however, formally charge me with <em>insubordination</em> and had me dishonorably discharged.”</p><p> </p><p>Sighing heavily, Miles closed his eyes and exhaled, “Keiko and I are <em>waiting</em> for the Castellan to come take me to task for how I just <em>abandoned</em> Julian on Cardassia, but I’m <em>prepared</em> to accept responsibility,” he stated softly. “Keiko’s a botanist and Lady Marratt’s been paying her to work with trying to restore some of the plants and flowers that took damage in the war…”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna’s eyes widened as Miles began to sob with feelings of regret and remorse emanating from both his mind and heart, “Julian’s <em>never ever going to forgive</em> me,” he wept anxiously.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>Meanwhile, completely unaware of anything other than what he was currently dealing with, Julian was being transported from the hospital to the house he shared with Elim in a skimmer with only Elim for company. Galen had finally deemed him healthy enough to continue his recovery at home and Julian was truly grateful, as it meant he could be with his family.</p><p> </p><p>Elim was wearing a simple, tan outfit for summer that was also respectful to Cardassia’s modesty standards while Julian was wearing simple pajamas, blue slipper boots, and a long travel cloak with sleeves simply because it was too hard for him to put regular clothes on just to travel home to bed. Elim, however, had fussed with his hair and shaved his face so he at least <em>looked</em> well.</p><p> </p><p>Both Galen and Kelas had given him strict instructions to rest and rely on others as much as possible so he could continue recovering, Julian reflected as he sat in his chair with Elim at his side, their hands interlocked. He was tired and still needed more rest, plus extensive medicine and therapy. Galen and Kelas, however, were working on a plan to bring the help to Julian so he wouldn’t have to be dragged around the city constantly and overdo it too quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“My love, we’re <em>home</em>,” Julian suddenly heard Elim’s quiet voice speak into his ear.</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, “Just let me see if I can get my brain to tell my legs to get up,” he murmured in a quiet, sleepy voice. “Even with the therapy and medicine I’ve had, it’s still <em>difficult</em>…!”</p><p> </p><p>Without warning, Elim gently lifted Julian from the seat into his arms and held him like a bride being carried over a threshold. The hoverchair and Julian’s things had been collected by Julian’s parents the night before, but bringing Julian home was <em>solely</em> Elim’s job.</p><p> </p><p>Too exhausted to argue or protest, Julian merely snuggled against Elim and allowed himself to relax in his husband’s warmth. Elim very carefully carried Julian into the house and immediately put him to bed in the master bedroom where Kukulaka was already waiting for him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Stay with me</em>,” Julian murmured sleepily as he fought the urge to sleep. “<em>Please</em> …”</p><p> </p><p>Elim didn’t hesitate to join Julian in bed and was <em>unsurprised</em> when Julian cuddled up against him for warmth. They <em>could both</em> do with a rest, Elim reasoned, as Julian’s parents weren’t up yet and there was nothing pressing that required his attention. Besides, Julian <em>needed</em> him.</p><p> </p><p>As Elim sat there, he suddenly heard quiet footsteps enter the kitchen. <em>Julian’s parents.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“My dear, I’m going to get you breakfast,” Elim spoke gently as he shifted out of bed. “I want you to stay in bed and rest, all right? I’ll also tell your parents that you’re home.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian mumbled incoherently while remaining asleep, so Elim got up and went to the kitchen where Amsha was getting things out for breakfast, “I brought Julian home just a little while ago,” Elim stated softly. “He’s resting in bed and I was hoping I could help you cook for him.”</p><p> </p><p>Amsha responded by hugging Elim, “I’m <em>so happy</em> Julian is out of the hospital and I am very <em>grateful</em> that you helped us figure out how to stay,” she replied. “Richard is on the computer in our room arranging things because you agreed to sponsor us. Elim, you are such a <em>dear.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“I was happy to help you both out,” Elim replied. “So you will be staying on Cardassia?”</p><p> </p><p>Amsha nodded, “Is Julian awake?” she asked softly. “Richard and I want to talk to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure he’ll wake up for the two of you, but I want him in bed for now since he’s really quite physically weak,” Elim explained calmly. “I can handle breakfast if you wish to go see him.”</p><p> </p><p>A moment passed before Richard wandered into the kitchen, “Richard, let’s go talk to Julian now,” Amsha spoke calmly. “He’s resting in bed, but he needs to hear our news.”</p><p> </p><p>Richard nodded and the two Bashirs quickly made their way into the master bedroom where Julian was while Elim got on with making breakfast. Richard and Amsha smiled at seeing Julian cuddled up to his teddy bear and they both sat on the bed. Richard gently cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>Julian woke and offered his parents a smile as he slowly sat up in bed, “Julian, I need to talk to you,” Richard spoke in a quiet voice, his expression serious. “We’ll be <em>staying</em> on Cardassia.”</p><p> </p><p>“As much as I would <em>love</em> that, I know you’ve both got lives on Earth to get back to and I’m trying to get better as fast as I can,” Julian replied in a tired voice, his expression tired and confused as he studied his parents. “Maybe I can get strong enough to manage…<em>maybe</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Richard sighed, “Julian, when I got out of the penal colony, I was placed on <em>probationary conditions</em> that included me not being allowed to leave Earth for any reason at any time,” he explained in a quiet, gentle voice. “We were told that travelling to Cardassia would be a breach of my conditions, but then we heard the report from Captain Riker and about your illness. I decided that the chance to see you and spend time with you was <em>more important</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian’s eyes widened as a surprised expression filled his face, “You…you were willing to be <em>expelled from Earth</em> to see me?” he asked in a tired, groggy voice. “I’m worth that much?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Of course</em> you are,” Richard spoke firmly, gently giving Julian a hug. “We love you.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian returned the hug with the little strength that he had, “I love you too,” he replied in a sleepy voice, sighing. “And I would be <em>delighted</em> if you stay with us. I need all the support I can get.”</p><p> </p><p>Amsha quickly joined in the hug and while the three Bashirs hugged, Elim came into the kitchen, “I’m needed at work today,” Elim spoke quietly, his expression unusually solemn. “Will you three be all right without me? I was making breakfast when I got a call, so I have to hurry”</p><p> </p><p>Julian eyed Elim worriedly as the Cardassian came in and gathered his Legate’s clothes and emblems, “Elim, what’s <em>wrong</em>?” he asked in a quiet voice. “You <em>can</em> tell me <em>anything</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>For once, however, Elim knew he <em>couldn’t</em> tell Julian even though the Castellan said that Julian <em>should</em> be told because it was concerning the kidnapping. The Castellan had said someone from Julian’s past was on Cardassia under Myrina’s sponsorship with information pertaining to what happened to Julian after he was kidnapped. Elim sighed and forced a smile on to his face.</p><p> </p><p>“My dear, I <em>promise</em> I will tell you if there is <em>something</em> to tell,” Elim lied in a quiet, kind voice hoping Julian would drop it. “It’s most likely about rescheduling Gul Marak’s trial. I just want you to rest today and be in your hoverchair if you’re up and out of bed. It’s in the front closet.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian knew straightaway that Elim was lying about something, but he nodded because he had very little energy and <em>trusted</em> that his husband was doing what he felt was best. Elim offered another obviously fake smile before disappearing into the bathroom to get ready for the day.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to get on breakfast,” Amsha said warmly as she got up. “You talk with your father.”</p><p> </p><p>The two Bashir men simply stared at one another briefly before they began a quiet conversation.</p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>Miles could still feel Keiko’s hug and the kisses from Molly and Yoshi as he silently stepped into the foyer of the Ministry of Justice. Not long after his conversation with Counselor Troi-Riker, he had gotten a call from the Castellan of Cardassia that he was to attend a meeting at the Ministry of Justice concerning his actions. Deanna and Lwaxana had stayed with his family while he had hopped a skimmer alone in the nicest civilian clothes he could find in his things.</p><p> </p><p>Keiko and Myrina had met during Keiko’s expedition on Bajor and had maintained a friendship since then, so Miles expected that Keiko, Molly, and Yoshi would be kept safe even if he faced time in prison for what he had done to Julian. He expected he would be placed under arrest, but he was prepared to go quietly, as he wasn’t able to live with the intense guilt…he never could.</p><p> </p><p>The Ministry was quiet at first glance and so Miles sat on a couch to wait, sighing as he remembered swaddling Julian in a blanket before making a mess of old shuttle parts and sending out a limited range distress signal and fleeing in his real shuttle. That night had been a cold one and it had been the best he could do without letting Starfleet or allies know of his duplicity.</p><p> </p><p>It had taken some time for Admiral Ross to track him down and call him out for taking Julian back to Cardassia, but it had happened. Miles felt like he had betrayed Julian for even following the order to take him away from Deep Space Nine even if it <em>was</em> back to Cardassia and he had tried to avoid Starfleet to get his head on straight, but they had ended up discarding him. They had refused to take responsibility for what they had done, but Miles <em>wasn’</em>t above taking responsibility for his part in it. Even if Julian never forgave him, Miles would <em>still</em> pay the price.</p><p> </p><p>Even though the sun was in the sky and the air was warm, Miles felt cold inside.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, the door leading to the rest of the building slid open and Galenna came out into the foyer sporting a serious expression, “Miles O’Brien?” she asked in a formal voice.</p><p> </p><p>Miles rose and stood meekly before Galenna, “Yes,” he replied softly. “I am Miles O’Brien.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were told you could bring an advocate with you, were you not?” Galenna asked firmly.</p><p> </p><p>Miles sighed, “Commander Troi-Riker offered, but <em>I</em> did this and I need to take <em>full responsibility</em> for doing it,” he replied in a penitent tone. “I understand that I’m in a lot of trouble over it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come with me, please,” Galenna spoke formally. “Walk with your hands out in front of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Miles obeyed and was completely silent as he followed Galenna through the corridors with his head down. Galenna finally came to a stop outside of a specially crafted door and pressed a button on an intercom that was next to it, “Come in,” a calm familiar voice replied.</p><p> </p><p>Galenna pressed another button to open the door and led Miles through it. It turned out to be an office decorated with handmade bookshelves that were full of bookshelves, a handmade desk containing a computer and decorations, and several chairs. Behind the desk sat Elim and in one of the chairs sat Castellan Marratt, “Chief O’Brien?” Elim asked in a confused voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m turning myself in,” Miles stated calmly. “For my part in what happened to Julian.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim’s eyes widened in surprise, but both Castellan Marratt and Galenna looked unsurprised at the admission because they had both spoken to Myrina and the O’Briens about the situation.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this some sort of a <em>sick joke</em>?” Elim replied in a tone of utter disbelief, frowning at Miles questioningly. “Last I heard, you were teaching at Starfleet Academy on Earth!”</p><p> </p><p>Miles sighed, “I haven’t been on Earth for about five years now and my family and I have been living in New Lakaria for about a year as refugees under Lady Marratt’s sponsorship in exchange for Keiko doing some horticultural work for her,” he explained grimly. “I help the kids with homeschool and get what supplies I can. After a chat with Lady Marratt yesterday, I knew it was time to turn myself in. I’m <em>guilty</em> and all I want is for Keiko, Molly, and Yoshi to avoid trouble.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked as if someone had thrown cold water in his face and Miles could see that his story wasn’t being believed, “When I left Julian in the desert outside of Cardassia City, I swaddled him in an <em>insulated blanket</em> and surrounded by parts of a shuttle so he would be warm…” Miles began in a quiet voice. “I had to make it look as if he had <em>crashed</em> trying to rescue himself.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re <em>telling the truth</em>,” Elim realized, his expression shaken. “I <em>remember</em> finding Julian wrapped in an insulated blanket and surrounded by damaged parts of a shuttle. I also remember my scanner I used for scavenging picking up a distress signal. Did you arrange that as well?”</p><p> </p><p>Miles nodded, “You said <em>your part</em>,” Elim continued. “Who <em>else</em> was involved in this?”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>know</em> there’s a process of justice on Cardassia,” Miles spoke quietly. “I’m <em>turning myself in</em> as an accomplice and I’ll submit to the process willingly. There’s no avoiding responsibility.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked uneasy, but nodded as he retrieved a device from his desk and activated it while setting it in full view of Miles, “You realize this means <em>placing you under arrest</em>, processing you, and then placing you in custody until I can figure out how Julian and I want to proceed?” he asked in a firm voice. “As Julian’s next of kin, I am <em>authorized</em> to speak on behalf of both of us due to his current medical condition and <em>I need</em> <em>time</em> to <em>tell him all of this without killing him</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>do</em> and I accept it,” Miles replied in a penitent voice, his expression somber as he sighed.</p><p> </p><p>Elim’s expression was one of stone as he looked at Galenna, his heart full of anger and sorrow over Chief O’Brien’s confession because he truly thought the Chief was one of Julian’s best friends and always would be, “I, Legate Elim Garak-Bashir of Cardassia, hereby order the Ministry of Justice to take Miles O’Brien into custody for his involvement in the kidnapping and torture of Doctor Julian Bashir in 2376,” he spoke in a formal voice. “The first step is providing a full, unadulterated confession of your involvement and then submitting to processing procedures. Do you understand?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Miles replied in a quiet voice as he stood at attention. “I understand and agree to comply.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded, “As one in the custody of Cardassian officials, you have the right to an advocate,” he stated in a voice that reflected his sorrow. “Do you wish me to arrange for you to have one?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but it’s not going to change what I’ve done,” Miles replied in a quiet, grim voice.</p><p> </p><p>Elim made a few notes on the device, “As the next of kin for Doctor Julian Bashir-Garak, I have the right to decide on your interim custody arrangements after you make your full confession to myself, Castellan Marratt, and Minister Dastra,” he spoke in a firm voice. “I’ve decided on <em>probationary monitoring</em> due to the fact that you reside on Cardassia and have a family who requires you. After you give your full confession, Minister Dastra will explain the terms of probationary monitoring.”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand,” Miles replied, his unease growing as he wondered what Julian’s reaction would be.</p><p> </p><p>Elim raised an eyebrow as he clasped his hands together, “<em>Begin your confession</em>,” he replied coldly.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Crime and Chaos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julian learns the truth behind his abduction and things suddenly take a violent turn, forcing him into a situation where he must face the past even if he's not ready to...</p>
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  <span>It was two days before Julian was well enough to be out of bed without help and even managed to dress himself in a simple summer tunic and pants and his slippers, but he was still very much reliant on the hoverchair for mobility. After eating a simple breakfast, he got to work in the yard watering plants. Elim watched him from the kitchen while making tea for the both of them. Julian’s parents were out sightseeing and so it was a perfect time for them to talk alone.</span>
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  <span>Elim quickly made two cups of tea and carried them to where Julian was sitting in the garden, “My dear, it’s so nice to see you up that I thought we could share some tea in the garden,” he spoke in a kind voice as he walked over to a nearby bench. “Come, Julian, sit with me.”</span>
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  <span>Julian moved the chair and then shakily transitioned to the padded bench so he could sit next to his husband while they enjoyed their tea, “My dear, I <em>need</em> to talk to you about the work I had to attend to a couple of days ago,” Elim spoke softly, handing Julian his cup. “It’s <em>quite</em> serious.”</span>
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  <span>“Oh, <em>do they need me</em> to come to Gul Marak’s trial after all?” Julian replied softly, smiling as he took a drink of tea. “Elim, I <em>already</em> told you I’ll be fine to go as long as I have my hoverchair.”</span>
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  <span>Elim, however, looked extremely serious, “Julian, someone from our past came forward with information about your kidnapping two days ago and they <em>have been charged</em> accordingly,” he explained in a quiet voice. “They are on <em>probationary monitoring</em> for the time being, but that can <em>change</em> depending on how you feel about it. I <em>promised</em> the Castellan I would talk to you.”</span>
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  <span>Julian frowned, “Who came forward?” he asked in a quiet, confused voice. “Elim, <em>please</em>…”</span>
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  <span>“Chief O’Brien,” Elim spoke in a solemn voice, frowning. “It seems Admiral Ross ordered him on a secret mission in 2376 to collect you from Deep Space Nine post-interrogation. The Chief was the one who left you here and apparently left a signal so you’d be easily found.”</span>
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  <span>A look of pure confusion and horror crossed Julian’s face, “<em>Miles</em>?” he asked softly. “<em>What?!</em>”</span>
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  <span>“Dear, take a deep breath and then we’ll talk it out,” Elim spoke calmly, seeing that Julian was getting tense and upset. “I <em>know</em> this is hurtful to hear, but you <em>do not</em> want another stroke.”</span>
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  <span>Julian nodded and tried to breathe, but suddenly felt tears filling his eyes because he felt hurt over the information. He began to cry softly and Elim responded by putting an arm around him.</span>
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  <span>Sighing weakly, Julian leaned against his husband, “<em>Oh, Elim</em>, I’m so <em>naïve</em>,” he breathed sadly.</span>
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  <span>Elim frowned, “I <em>trusted</em> Miles with my <em>life</em> when we were on Deep Space Nine and even after I was outed as an Augment, he said he was my <em>friend</em>,” Julian sobbed. “I…I…oh, <em>God</em>…”</span>
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  <span>A sadness filled Elim as he gently held Julian and allowed him to cry for several moments without interruption. Finally, as Julian let out a weak sigh, Elim knew it was okay to speak again.</span>
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  <span>“Since we’re alone, perhaps now would be a good time to sit together and you can relax while I read to you?” Elim suggested gently. “You don’t want to work yourself up too much.”</span>
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  <span>Julian nodded and handed his teacup to Elim before shakily returning himself to the hoverchair, “I’ll meet you inside,” he replied softly. “I’d like to read together on the couch…”</span>
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  <span>Without waiting for a reply, Julian moved himself to the living room and paused when he saw the communications terminal. He knew that in turning himself in, Miles had most likely explained why he had marooned his supposed best friend at Starfleet’s orders. <em>Why had he done it?</em></span>
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  <span>“Julian, <em>no</em>,” Julian suddenly heard Elim speak firmly. “You’re <em>not </em>up for that. Not yet.”</span>
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  <span>Julian sighed, “Elim, Miles gave a full confession, didn’t he?” he asked softly.</span>
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  <span>“<em>Yes</em>, my dear, he did,” Elim replied as he came into Julian’s view with a holonovel in hand and the teacups gone. “As I said, though, you are <em>not</em> up to hearing the confession yet…”</span>
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  <span>Even though he wanted to argue and insist on hearing what Miles said, Julian nodded and retreated to the couch. Elim joined him and could immediately tell that Julian was tired.</span>
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  <span>“Julian, I think I should put you to bed and read to you there,” Elim mused softly. </span>
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  <span>Nodding, Julian allowed Elim to help him up and to the safety of their bed. Once Julian was comfortable, Elim got in and allowed Julian to snuggle against him before beginning the book.</span>
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  <span>Julian quickly fell asleep and Elim set the book aside, determined to hold him while he slept.</span>
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  <em>
    <span>“…I got taken to task for using methods to extract information from Luther Sloan. The methods Julian and I used led to his death and that’s the excuse Admiral Ross used to get me out of teaching. In actuality, he had an assignment for me and he needed me to do it in secret. He asked me because of how close I was to Julian.”</span>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elin had fallen asleep, but the sound of the comms terminal had suddenly roused him. He looked over at Julian’s side of the bed and found it empty. That would explain the sound of the comms.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“….Officially, Admiral Ross ordered me to Deep Space Nine to help the new crew get up to scratch on how to operate things since most everyone was different and the new crew didn’t know much about the station. Unofficially, though, I was to take care of a problem the new captain had. Colonel Kira had just left command and the new captain was very anti-Semitic and especially hated that an Augment was allowed to work freely in Starfleet without consequence. Anyway, Admiral Ross and the new captain ordered me to take a prisoner from the station and dump him anywhere outside of Federation space to die because he had no value to the Federation. It was then that…I-I saw…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Quietly swearing in Kardasi, Elim got up and wandered into the living room. He was concerned and surprised to see Julian sitting at the computer, silently watching Miles’s statement.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“I recognized him right away even with all the blood and bruising. Julian was being held in a cell in the very brig Odo used to patrol. He had been interrogated at least once a day using extreme methods, not allowed any food or water, and had been declared a criminal by Starfleet. The captain told me that the “worthless Augment criminal” had been in his company for two weeks and he was sick of wasting resources on him when the man “didn’t even deserve to be alive. I accepted Julian into my custody and then left the station in the runabout Starfleet had provided. I did what I could for his injuries and then I had to think about where to take him because I wanted someone he trusted to find him and to take care of him. It was then that I remembered how he and Garak used to spend time together…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Garak sighed and placed a hand on Julian’s shoulder, “My dear,” he spoke softly. “Please…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…I knew I couldn’t stay or show my face, so I made Julian as comfortable as possible and then simulated that the shuttle had crashed. I had to make others think that he had escaped on his own. I had to pretend I didn’t know anything about what had happened and Julian didn’t discuss it either. After the wedding, I talked with Keiko and told her the truth about what Starfleet had made me do. Keiko was upset, but she could see that all of that had outright destroyed my confidence in Starfleet. Admiral Ross, however, was very pleased with my following orders and offered me a promotion to Dean of Engineering at the Academy. He told me that Julian’s death was for the greater good and that Starfleet would be better for it. I was so disgusted by what he said, but I didn’t stand up to him.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>At that point, Miles started crying and Julian lowered his head because he was unable to accept that his so-called friend was <em>actually</em> remorseful for what he had done. Elim quickly turned the computer off and gently embraced his husband, “I <em>had</em> to know,” Julian spoke in a numb voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I know,” Elim replied softly. “Do you feel up to going to the sauna today for a little respite?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, “I have a treatment today,” he replied softly. “I put it on our calendar…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded and gently eased Julian up and away from the computer, “Is it at the hospital or is someone coming here?” he asked in a quiet voice. “Julian, you’re <em>shivering</em> and feel <em>so cold</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and Elim quickly hustled him into the bedroom before bundling him up in a warm afghan he had made for Julian the previous Christmas. A knocking sound suddenly filled the air and Elim froze, “Were we expecting company?” he mused in a concerned voice, frowning.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A sigh escaped Julian’s lips as he moved to the front door wrapped in the afghan and opened it, revealing Deanna standing there along with Kelas, who was holding a medical case, “Hello, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” Kelas spoke warmly. “I thought I’d bring your treatment to you today and Counselor Riker wanted to talk with you some more. Elim, if you’d like some respite…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Elim could reply, Julian looked at him, “Elim, take some time for yourself,” he spoke softly, his tired expression tender. “You’re <em>tired</em> and I <em>want</em> you to be able to relax.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim gazed at Julian intently as he walked over to him, “All right,” he conceded. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I love you too,” Julian replied softly, accepting a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded and silently left the house, leaving Julian with Kelas and Deanna. He briefly thought about waving down a skimmer, but decided against it because a walk would do him a great deal of good. Julian was right, Elim mused, a respite <em>would</em> help him feel better.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian quietly went to the couch and sat, “I actually could use someone to talk to,” he admitted as Deanna and Kelas came over to him and Kelas opened his medical kit. “If you don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna nodded and sat beside him on the couch, “Of course I don’t,” she replied kindly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed and his heart was heavy as he began to share about hearing Miles’s confession.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It was a warm day and the market was busy, but Elim was grateful for that because it allowed him to wander about without attracting attention. He quickly bought himself a cup of tea from a vendor and began to browse, wondering if he should buy a gift for Julian’s upcoming birthday and somehow hide it where Julian wouldn’t find it. A gift would no doubt lift Julian’s spirits.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…Mommy, why didn’t Daddy want to come with us to the market and art gallery today?” Elim suddenly heard a familiar voice ask. “I wanted to show him the art from the battles…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim turned and was surprised to see Lady Myrina walking with Keiko and an annoyed looking Molly through the area of the market that sold plants and hardware type things, “Daddy doesn’t like to go out, Molly, you know that,” Keiko spoke in a calm voice. “We’ll get him…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Why is Daddy so sad all the time?” Molly interrupted. “And why is he scared of going out?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim froze and Keiko gave Molly a look, “Molly, your dad’s in trouble and he said we’re not supposed to talk about it out in public,” Keiko spoke sternly. “Lady Myrina, I’m sorry…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Teenagers always have such insatiable curiosities and there’s nothing wrong with that, but Molly, it’s not a situation that should be discussed in public,” Lady Myrina commented in a gentle voice as she gazed at Molly gently. “Your father took responsibility for it…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deeply shaken by the conversation, Elim turned away and made his way to another part of the market to distract himself. Richard and Amsha had taken a skimmer to look at some art galleries and take in a show in another part of the city, so he had none to talk to but himself. As Elim began to browse for a suitable birthday gift for Julian, loud alarms began to blare.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>There is currently a riot at the Central Prison</em>,” a loud voice suddenly echoed over the square, causing everyone to go silent. “<em>Lockdown protocol is going into place immediately</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Noise filled the square as everyone began evacuating and heading either into their shops to shut them down or to their homes away from the market. Elim moved back to the central area just in time to see Myrina talking anxiously with Galenna while Keiko held a frightened Molly close.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Malko was supposed to be at the prison today arranging for when Gul Marak’s trial would be,” Elim heard Myrina say in a concerned voice. “Ever since being imprisoned, Gul Marak’s been very angry about how justice locked him up and is even angrier that Miles O’Brien is free….”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>There was no time to think and Elim found himself hurrying over to the group, “Galenna, I’ll escort Lady Myrina, Mrs. O’Brien, and Molly to my home and use my emergency transporter to send them home,” he spoke in an urgent voice. “I need someone to locate Julian’s parents…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Keiko stared at Elim in shock, but didn’t protest as Elim escorted Lady Myrina, her, and Molly from the market after giving instructions to Galenna, “We need to walk <em>quickly</em>,” Elim hissed.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  <span>In the safety of the Bashir-Garak household, Deanna watched intently as Julian sighed, emotionally exhausted after sharing his feelings about Miles’s confession. Sharing his feelings made him feel lighter, Julian mused, but at the same time, the whole experience was tiring. His daily treatment was being delivered to him intravenously and thus why he was staying seated.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m getting better slowly, but not at the pace I would like,” Julian admitted softly, grateful that Kelas was in the kitchen making them all tea so they’d be relaxed. “I may <em>never</em> fully recover.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna nodded, as she could sense that was part of Julian’s feelings of immense frustration, “Elim’s been very understanding and he’s promised me that he’ll find plenty for me to do if I can’t return to medicine, but I feel guilty,” Julian stated. “He’s got his life and his work and…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You’re wearing your feelings on your sleeve,” Deanna interrupted firmly, giving Julian a look as she sighed. “And you’re forgetting that in marriage, spouses should put each other first above all else. Did you ever stop to consider that your husband is doing what you once did for him?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian paused, taken aback by Deanna’s words because it <em>did</em> seem like Elim was trying to repay him for his sacrifices. Before he could speak, however, Deanna suddenly sensed something terrible followed by intense fear, anxiety, and pain emanating from multiple sources. Kelas suddenly rushed into the living room as an alarm on the comm terminal began to blare.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>City-wide lockdown procedures initiated</em>,” an automated voice suddenly filled the house.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas swore, quickly activating the newsfeed, “…<em>A riot is in progress at the Central Prison</em>,” sa reporter’s voice filled the air as an image of fighting within the prison filled the screen. “<em>Several prisoners, led by Gul Marak, have initiated fights with guards and several have already died</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>An explosion suddenly rocked the feed, “<em>Detonators</em>!” a voice shouted. “<em>There’s a fire! RUN!”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The feed quickly disabled and Kelas’s eyes went wide, “<em>Elim</em>,” Julian breathed anxiously before his eyes went wider. “My parents…they were going to some art galleries and a show…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Doctor Julian, you must calm yourself <em>immediately</em>,” Kelas ordered anxiously. “Please.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, “Stay here with Commander Troi-Riker and I will go see if I can find news on Elim and your parents,” Kelas ordered, quickly extracting a disruptor pistol from his pocket.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Kelas bolted from the house, Julian looked at Deanna questioningly, “Can…can you sense Elim and my parents?” he asked in a quiet, child-like voice. “Or is there too much chaos?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I can sense a lot of fear, confusion, anger, and anxiety in a lot of people,” Deanna admitted, sighing worriedly. “I’m glad my mother decided to stay at the Castellan’s residence today.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Noise suddenly filled the air and Julian paused, gasping as Kelas suddenly burst into the house with Lady Myrina, Keiko, Molly, and Elim in tow. Julian quickly launched his weakened body off of the couch and at Elim with all of his strength. Elim’s eyes widened at Julian kissing him with a weak fierceness, “<em>Oh, God…Elim</em>…” Julian breathed, hugging him with all his might.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It’s <em>all right</em>,” Elim soothed softly, holding Julian close. “You’re <em>trembling</em> so much…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian scoffed as he gave Elim another kiss, “I was <em>so scared</em>,” he breathed. “<em>So, so scared</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It was then that Julian realized Keiko and Molly were there, “Hi,” he said, pulling away from Elim to stare at them with the realization that they had all changed. “How…how are you?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“We’ll have time for pleasantries after we <em>pack</em>,” Elim interrupted in an anxious voice, his expression determined as he looked at Keiko. “This house is <em>too well known</em> for it to be safe while the riot is happening. Do you think we could find refuge at your home in New Lakaria?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Keiko nodded and Julian paled at the thought of being in such close quarters with Miles since the aftermath of the incident was still so fresh, “<em>Elim</em>…” Julian began in an uncertain voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My dear, <em>I know</em>, but we have <em>no </em>choice,” Elim spoke firmly, sighing. “If the riot escalates, this place and the Castellan’s are <em>too well known</em> and not safe. The O’Brien household, however…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian swallowed hard, but retreated to his bedroom. He shakily packed his favorite holonovels, Kukulaka, his spouse emblems, his glasses, and was in the process of trying to pack clothes into a bag when Elim came into the room with a few more novels and their holo-photo albums.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“We may not be able to come back here for a long time, so I’ll add these to the bag,” Elim directed softly, quickly taking over the job of packing himself and Julian clothes and shoes. </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian promptly sat on the bed because he was getting tired, “I asked Kelas to pack us some food and some red leaf,” Elim spoke in an anxious voice as he hurried to the bathroom to get supplies.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I don’t know if I’m <em>ready</em> to face Miles, Elim,” Julian spoke softly. “His confession…<em>hurt.</em>”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, quickly packing toiletries, credit chips, and ID’s before closing the bag up, “I <em>know </em>it hurts, but this is a <em>crisis situation</em> and Gul Marak will be after us if he escapes,” he explained in a concerned voice, giving Julian a tender look. “When we get to the O’Briens, you can rest.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My medical bag,” Julian said softly, sighing. “I know I’m ill, but to have it around…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim quickly added it to the pile before picking everything up and leading Julian out of the bedroom. They went into the room where Deanna, Keiko and Molly were already waiting. A moment later, Lady Myrina came hurrying into the room with Kelas, who was carrying a cooler.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“All of you get on the pad,” Kelas ordered as he set the cooler on the pad before going to the transporter console. “Once I beam you all to safety, I’ll secure the house and get out of here.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once everyone was on the pad, Kelas quickly inputted the coordinates for the O’Brien household, as he had been there in the past at Lady Myrina’s behest, and beamed them all away.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“Julian!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Dizziness filled Julian’s body as he opened his eyes and found himself staring at a pair of boots, <em>“He passed out mid-transport and materialized in a heap!”</em> a voice cried. “<em>Daddy, do something!”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian suddenly felt himself being gently lifted and carried, “<em>Why is he so light</em>?!” a familiar Irish brogue filled the air. “<em>He’s 41 years old and he’s almost as light as Yoshi is right now!”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>If you’re insinuating that I do not know how to take care of my husband</em>….!” Elim snarled.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lights flooded Julian’s senses and he whimpered when he suddenly felt himself being deposited on something soft. He opened his eyes just in time to see Miles leave the room in a huff while Elim lingered in the doorway with his back to the bed. There had <em>obviously</em> been a fight.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim?” Julian spoke in a groggy, weak voice. “Where am I…I feel something soft…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim quickly turned and came over to the bed, quickly rearranging the pillows so Julian could sit up a little more, “You’re in the guest room at the O’Brien home in New Lakara,” he explained in a gentle voice, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You passed out during the transport…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m so <em>dizzy</em>,” Julian moaned, closing his eyes. “Can someone please turn the lights off?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed and stroked Julian’s face, “I’ll handle it,” he promised softly. “Just <em>rest</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Just then, Miles came into the room with the bag Elim had brought and dimmed the lights with a switch he had installed himself shortly after moving there, “What <em>exactly</em> is going on?” Miles asked in a concerned voice, frowning as he watched Elim calm Julian. “Lady Marratt is saying her husband’s in trouble and both Deanna and Keiko said there was a riot at the prison?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“We can talk about it once Julian is <em>asleep</em>,” Elim spoke firmly. “May I have the bag?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles brought the bag over and Elim got Kukulaka from it before dropping it on the floor, “I want you to rest and I’ll bring you some tea in a little while after I find out what’s going on,” Elim soothed, pressing Kukulaka into Julian’s arms. “I <em>promise</em> I won’t be very far away.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>With Kukulaka in his arms, Julian quickly fell into a deep sleep and Elim quickly ushered Miles out of the room, “Yes, I was in the square when the alarm went off and I was close enough to Lady Myrina and your wife and daughter that I simply decided to evacuate them to my house,” Elim spoke in a quiet, serious voice. “I asked Keiko if we could take refuge here because Gul Marak is behind the riots. He’s been awaiting trial after he was arrested for assaulting Julian.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned, but didn’t say anything, “You are well within your rights to turn me out of your home, Chief O’Brien, as I <em>know</em> you dislike Cardassians <em>quite heavily</em>,” Elim spoke in a hushed voice, his expression serious. “Just <em>remember</em> that I made sure your family was safe from harm.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You’ve gotta be pretty disgusted with me because of what I did,” Miles mused softly, sighing.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, “I’ve been made aware of the contents of your confession <em>and</em> Starfleet’s role in arranging Julian’s death,” he replied in a cold voice, his eyes narrowing. “I’m <em>also</em> aware that Julian is <em>much too ill</em> for us to be engaging in petty squabbling. Prison riots can last for <em>days</em> even if the entire planet’s security forces respond, so we may have to simply put up with each other.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed and nodded as beeping suddenly filled the house, “I have to go <em>commandeer</em> your communications relay so I can get in touch with other members of the Cardassian government to see what exactly is happening,” Elim spoke in a low voice. “Thank you for your hospitality.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Elim hurried into the living room, Miles quietly excused himself to the kitchen and saw the cooler on the floor. He opened it, found some red leaf tea, and quickly brewed some because he knew Julian used to drink it quite often and it would be a small, yet powerful comfort now.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once the tea was ready, Miles brought it to the guest room and sat on the edge of the bed in silence. He watched Julian sleep for a few minutes, saddened at how sick and frail he looked.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim?” Julian’s weak voice suddenly filled the air though Julian didn’t wake. “Is that you?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed, “No, Julian, it’s Miles,” he replied in a quiet voice. “Garak’s busy with work.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian’s eyes opened and he peered up at Miles, “Hi,” he spoke in a groggy voice, sighing.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I made you some of that red leaf tea you like,” Miles spoke softly. “Do you want some?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian blinked, “You made tea for me, Miles?” he asked weakly. “I thought you <em>hated</em> me?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>No</em>, I <em>don’t </em>hate you, Julian,” Miles replied in a patient voice. “We <em>need</em> to have a talk about everything, but Garak <em>will kill and dismember</em> me if we talk before you're well enough for such a conversation. Do you want the tea?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and Miles silently fed him the tea, knowing that they would need to have a very deep, very painful conversation once they were both strong enough to handle it. For now, though, they would bond over Julian's need for tea.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Peace and War</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Five days is how long the Central Prison riot lasted and at the end of the five days, the prison was in ruins and both prisoners and guards were dead. Gul Marak and his friends had used their time to construct deadly weapons and have the components smuggled in by off-worlders under the guise of them being humanitarian packages. The weapons were deadly and had allowed the former Gul and his friends to escape after the fight with a hostage in their midst.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately for Castellan Marratt, that hostage was <em>him</em> and he had found himself an unwilling hostage after Gul Marak’s friends had murdered his bodyguards in cold blood. Himself being a hostage, however, was something he preferred over someone else being a hostage. As he was led through the street from the prison, the Castellan was pleased to see that the lockdown procedures he had instituted after Julian’s abduction had worked and the streets were quiet.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What </em>are you staring at?” Gul Marak hissed, glaring at the Castellan menacingly. “We’re here.”</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt sighed anxiously, looking up from the ground and cringing when he saw that they were at the Port of Cardassia, “We’re going to use <em>you </em>to get a ship,” Gul Marak’s voice filled his ear. “You’re a <em>weak</em> leader and we have other business connected to your protected citizen that will show just how <em>weak</em> you are. If you don’t help us get a ship, I’ll kill you.”</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, the Castellan used his code to open the door to the port office and winced as Gul Marak forcibly escorted him inside. One of Galenna’s junior officers, a Cardassian security officer named Tyal Evek who had offered to patrol the locked down port so Galenna could personally guard Julian’s parents at her secure home, was at the entry podium. He rose from his seat.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re in <em>lockdown</em>, Marak, and you’re <em>supposed</em> to be in jail,” Tyal Evek spoke sternly, his expression serious as he stared down Gul Marak and his group. “And <em>what</em> is <em>Castellan</em>…?”</p><p> </p><p>Gul Marak scoffed as he produced a disruptor pistol he had stolen from one of the guards he had shot, “The Castellan is our hostage and is here to authorize our taking a ship,” he hissed coldly.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re in the hangar bay,” Tyal Evek replied nervously. “Castellan Marratt, do you want…?”</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt nodded, “Stand aside, Tyal,” he spoke shakily. “I’ll input the order myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Tyal Evek bowed and nervously stepped away from the console, gasping as he was grabbed by Gul Marak’s fellow prisoners. Castellan Marratt took a seat at the podium and sighed nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you the Castellan was a <em>coward,</em>” Gul Marek sneered coldly, glaring at his fellow prisoners as they flanked the anxious looking Tyal. “And so is this skinny little guard.”</p><p> </p><p>Instead of inputting the authorization to release a travelling vessel, however, Castellan Marratt suddenly pulled a weapon from his pocket that he had managed to steal off one of his guards before leaving the prison, “Did you think I was just going to <em>give</em> you access to a ship so you could escape without trouble?” he asked in a cold voice, rising from the podium.</p><p> </p><p>Before the prisoners could reply, Castellan Marratt fired a shot at the security alarm, causing it to go off. Gul Marak swore and lunged at the Castellan, sending them both into the transparent wall that separated the processing center from the path to the shuttlebay. Tyal Evek swore and began to fight with the other prisoners, all of them taken aback by the Castellan’s actions.</p><p> </p><p>“GET TO THE SHUTTLEBAY!” Gul Marak screamed at the other prisoners. “<em>Leave him</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>The other prisoners quickly stopped fighting with Tyal Evek, who was bleeding from a cut on his lip and from his nose, and fled out towards the shuttlebay, “I’m going to let Anton Shran know about how weak Cardassia has become since you came into power!” Gul Marek shouted as he pulled a dagger from his belt and promptly stabbed the Castellan in the leg. “There!”</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt’s eyes went wide and he hobbled back over to the podium as Gul Marek fled out to the shuttlebay, “Castellan, you’re injured!” Tyal Evek exclaimed. “Your leg is…!”</p><p> </p><p>“At least I got them away from the city,” Castellan Marratt replied shakily, frowning as he saw that the prisoners had managed to power up a shuttle. “My leg…<em>ahh</em>…is a small sacrifice…”</p><p> </p><p>Despite the fact that he was bleeding, Tyal Evek came to the Castellan’s side just in time to see a shuttle pull forward out of the bay and take off into the sky, “Let it go,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a shaky voice, sighing weakly. “We <em>have</em> to go see what the damage and body count is…”</p><p> </p><p>Instead of obeying automatically, however, Tyal Evek helped the Castellan over to a seat and activated the comm terminal using his emergency code, “This is Security Officer Evek calling from the Port of Cardassia processing terminal!” he called out. “I’m here with Castellan Marratt and he was injured while held hostage by Gul Marak and the other escaped prisoners…”</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>It was early, but Julian awake and feeling better than he had in days. Beside him, Elim lay asleep and completely oblivious to the world because exhaustion had caught up with him. The Cardassian had spent the last five days focused on trying to do what he could to help with the prison riot and ensuring that people followed lockdown procedures to the letter.</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed softly as he gazed at his sleeping husband; Elim had managed to find out that his parents were being protected by Galenna since the riot began. Galenna had managed to find them at an art gallery close to the market and had taken them in. They were safe and Julian was grateful for that and also grateful that the O’Briens had hosted him and Elim since things began.</p><p> </p><p>Since being taken in five days ago, Julian had mostly been confined to bed because the transporter effect had worsened his already frail condition. The O’Briens, Deanna, and Lady Myrina had worked together to help Elim care for Julian so the poor man could get rest. Julian had graciously accepted the care and because of it, he was now feeling able to get out of bed.</p><p> </p><p>It was initially hard for Julian to get up, but he managed it and quickly covered his pajama-clad self in a robe from the bag Elim had packed. He then took hold of the cane Elim had brought and used it to make his way out of the bedroom and outside to the yard. He needed the sun’s warmth.</p><p> </p><p>What Julian didn’t expect, however, was to see Miles sitting on a chair in the garden, talking quietly to a concerned looking Deanna. Neither of them saw Julian lingering by the door for a few moments, but Deanna suddenly went very still before turning to face him calmly. Miles paled and got up to leave, but Julian gave him a pleading look and he sat back down.</p><p> </p><p>“Miles, I <em>think</em> we should <em>talk</em>,” Julian spoke softly. “Unless you and Commander Riker…”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna sighed as she stood, “I actually need to see if I can get in contact with the Titan to see how Will and Thaddeus are doing,” she explained calmly. “I’ll leave you two to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian slowly walked over to the chairs and sat facing Miles, both of them silent until Deanna had gone inside, “I’ve decided to <em>not</em> press charges,” Julian finally said in a quiet voice.</p><p> </p><p>Miles’s eyes widened in surprise, “Why not?” he asked in a surprised voice. “What I did…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve spent the last five days confined to bed with a lot of time to think once I recovered from the emergency transport,” Julian replied softly. “When Molly or Keiko brought me meals, we’d talk a little and they explained that you’ve become a recluse of sorts since you dumped me here because you were scared that I died. This timid individual, what you’ve become, isn’t the Miles O’Brien that I know and love like a brother. I listened to your confession, but not what you left out of it. You taught for a few months and then what? How were you taken to task exactly?”</p><p> </p><p>Miles sighed, “I spent a little time in New Zealand because Admiral Ross thought it would get me to agree to do the mission for him,” he confessed. “In the penal colony…as an inmate.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were <em>arrested</em> by Starfleet?” Julian replied in a shocked voice. “Because you said no?”</p><p> </p><p>Miles nodded, “I was being monitored the moment I got back to Earth and we literally lived on the Starfleet properties because they insisted on it,” he explained. “Keiko, Molly, and Yoshi didn’t have any restrictions, but I had unusually strict regulations for a Starfleet professor…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian paused, “Was that why Admiral Ross ordered me kidnapped?” he replied, recalling what Miles had shared in his confession. “Because of what we did to Luther Sloan to help Odo?”</p><p> </p><p>“Admiral Ross was angry we tortured and killed a Starfleet officer to help a <em>Changeling</em> live even if it <em>was</em> Odo,” Miles admitted quietly. “He said that the fact you went that far to get information proved you were dangerous like Khan and had to be dealt with in a way that made it look as if you went rogue. The Admiralty was in shambles after the war, so Admiral Ross was one of the top officers. He said if I kept refusing, he would send someone else to <em>handle</em> you.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian frowned, but said nothing, “I knew that someone else would simply dispose of you as ordered, so I said yes because then <em>I’d</em> be in control of what happened to you,” Miles explained in a quiet voice. “After I agreed, I was released and sent on my way straight from the colony.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was the one who <em>insisted</em> on torturing Luther Sloan, so I <em>should</em> take responsibility,” Julian spoke in a quiet, tired voice, his expression serious. “I’ll turn myself in to the Ministry of Justice after the lockdown is over and accept responsibility. You shouldn’t have to pay the price for something that happened because of a choice <em>I</em> made. <em>All of this</em> is <em>my</em> fault, Miles…”</p><p> </p><p>Miles frowned at the weakness in Julian’s voice and Julian himself exhaled, knowing that the excessive talking was wearing him down, “As I recall, we made the choice <em>together</em>,” he spoke in a concerned voice, sighing. “And I’m <em>not</em> an expert on Cardassian law, but I think they’d throw any sort of confession from you out considering the state of your health right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see Elim likes to talk,” Julian mused softly, sighing. “I’m only 41, Miles, and I’m a <em>mess</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Miles sighed, “The health problems aren’t your fault, Julian,” he replied worriedly, frowning.</p><p> </p><p>“I feel like they are,” Julian admitted softly. “I tried so hard to be able to give Elim children and give him the family he didn’t have growing up, but my body couldn’t…I couldn’t do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Miles didn’t speak, “My parents <em>insisted</em> on making me a Carrier when I was six because they wanted grandkids, but didn’t think I should get married,” Julian mused in a solemn voice, his expression sighed. “Now, I’m almost 42 and married, but I’m no longer able to have children.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re being too hard on yourself, Julian,” Miles spoke in a frank voice, giving him a look. “I think, personally, you need to look at what you have and not at what you don’t have. The last several years has taught me that the things I thought were important, like my position in Starfleet and teaching, really aren’t. What’s important is my family and whatever friends I can make.”</p><p> </p><p>A haunted expression crossed Julian’s face, “Did you know when Elim first found me and brought me to his home, I stole his pistol and tried to kill myself?” Julian asked softly. “I remember it very well, but I don’t know <em>why</em> I did it. Elim had to slap me and knock me out because I couldn’t talk and I was fighting him. Now that I look back, I’m glad he did that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe that torture at Deep Space Nine did something to your brain,” Miles reasoned softly.</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, but before he could reply, Elim came into the yard having been woken by a call from Central Command. He was surprised, but pleased to find Julian and the former Ops Chief spending time together, “Julian, I just received a call from Central Command,” Elim announced.</p><p> </p><p>“And?” Julian asked in a concerned voice, frowning at his husband. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed, “The prison riot is over, but several prisoners including Gul Marak escaped and hijacked a shuttle from the port using the Castellan as a <em>hostage</em>,” he explained in an anxious, concerned voice. “Lockdown has eased, but Central Command has told me that the Castellan has requested to see you as soon as you are able to get to the hospital in Cardassia City.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian paled, “I’m still recovering from the stroke and Doctor Parmak hasn’t cleared me to go back to work yet,” he replied in a confused voice. “What use does the Castellan have for me? What use do <em>you</em> even have for me, Elim? I <em>can’t</em> make you happy. I <em>can’t</em> serve Cardassia…”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You</em>, Julian, are my <em>husband</em>!” Elim replied, his eyes narrowing. “I don’t know why the Castellan has requested to see you, but I will not allow you to keep self-deprecating. <em>Stop it!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Miles frowned worriedly as Julian suddenly closed his eyes, “I’m going to be seen as no longer worth protecting,” Julian spoke in a solemn voice. “Is that why the Castellan wants to talk?”</p><p> </p><p>“The Castellan was injured trying to stop Gul Marak and the others from escaping with a ship,” Elim responded, disgusted at Julian’s defeatist attitude. “The Castellan personally requested to talk to you because he’s scared about what the injury might mean. He <em>trusts</em> you, Julian.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, but looked reluctant, “Even with all my flaws?” he asked quietly, frowning.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Especially</em> with all of your flaws,” Elim replied firmly. “Get dressed so we can go. He’s got Central Command sending a skimmer for us. I’ve already picked out your outfit.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed tiredly, but nodded as he got to his feet, “Are you sure you’re up for a visit with the Castellan?” Miles asked in a concerned voice, worried for his friend. “You look worn out.”</p><p> </p><p>“The Castellan’s been <em>very</em> gracious to me, Miles,” Julian spoke softly. “It is my <em>duty</em> to go.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked as if he had just been slapped, but Julian silently moved inside the house without offering anything more. Miles looked at Elim, but Elim found himself shocked speechless.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>Neither Elim nor Julian spoke during the skimmer ride to the Cardassia City Capital Hospital, as Julian was saving his strength and Elim was shocked speechless by Julian’s words back at the O’Brien’s. Everyone else had remained in New Lakaria, even Lady Myrina, as lockdown had not yet been lifted and the Castellan had only authorized Elim and Julian to be out of isolation.</p><p> </p><p>Once the skimmer had arrived at the hospital, the pilot shut down the engines and sat to wait because he was going to take them back to New Lakaria once the Castellan was finished his business with them. Elim had dressed in a tan outfit and had dressed Julian in a simple gray tunic, smart black pants, a dark vest, his work boots, and had floofed his hair appropriately.</p><p> </p><p>Having been stuck at the hospital since the lockdown was ordered, Galen was at the front desk when Elim and Julian entered, “The Castellan…?” Elim asked without offering a hello.</p><p> </p><p>“He was rushed here by one of Galenna’s officers and Kelas is tending to him in the emergency unit,” Galen explained in a tired voice, sighing. “When I can get a Security officer here, I have to go over to the prison to count the bodies left by the riots. I’m <em>not</em> sending Kelas over there…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, “Elim, why don’t you go?” he suggested calmly. “You’re authorized.”</p><p> </p><p>“My dear, I have to make sure you’ll be all right,” Elim replied softly. “You look tired.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian, however, didn’t back down, “I love you, Elim, but your skills are needed elsewhere and mine are needed <em>here</em>,” he spoke in a kind voice even though he was unsure how he’d be useful.</p><p> </p><p>“That would <em>not</em> be the wisest course of action, actually,” Galen interjected softly. “Doctor Bashir-Garak, Gul Marak is an enemy of your family unit and to allow your husband anywhere near the site of the riots is a conflict of interest. The bodies aren’t going anywhere…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian nodded, “The Castellan <em>requested</em> me,” he stated, quickly changing the subject.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” Galen replied calmly, his expression solemn as he stood. “I’ll take you to him.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian kept silent as he followed Galen, well aware that Elim was trailing behind them. They walked into the emergency unit and Julian froze when he saw Castellan Marratt laying on a biobed with a knife sticking out of his lower leg while Kelas stood nearby looking worried.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor Bashir-Garak, I’ve been waiting for you,” Castellan Marratt said softly. “Come.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian slowly walked over to the biobed and sat on the stool, “Doctor, I have to confess,” Castellan spoke in a quiet voice, his expression sad. “Gul Marak and his fellow prisoners escaped because I let them. I led them from the city to protect the population and I let them take a ship. Gul Marak thanked me by stabbing me in the leg and now…I cannot feel that part of it.”</p><p> </p><p>A sad expression filled Julian’s face, but he didn’t speak because he felt as if the Castellan wasn’t finished with his thought, “I’m afraid,” Castellan Marratt spoke quietly. “If I lose my leg…”</p><p> </p><p>“Will it change your ability to serve as Castellan?” Julian interrupted. “<em>Only</em> if you let it.”</p><p> </p><p>Castellan Marratt sighed, “I may lose my leg and need an artificial one,” he replied.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>don’t think</em> that will change anyone’s opinion of you,” Julian spoke gently, sighing. “If anything, Castellan, you’ll be seen as a warrior and a protector because of your actions.”</p><p> </p><p>A troubled expression crossed Castellan Marratt’s face, “You look <em>tired</em>, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” he spoke in a concerned voice, suddenly noticing how pale and beat Julian seemed. “I will speak to you more in a few days when you are rested.”</p><p> </p><p>Understanding himself to be dismissed, Julian rose, bowed, and moved out of the room, “Julian, you really do look tired,” Elim mused as he came up behind him. “We should go…”</p><p> </p><p>“I wonder if Miles would help me with a project,” Julian mused, his heart going out to the Castellan and his potential loss of limb. “It wouldn’t be too difficult to fashion an artificial limb for the Castellan if he would allow it, but I’d need some help. My hands and eyesight aren’t what they used to be and they might not get any better. Miles could help me with the mechanics…”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked pleased, but concerned, “Julian, it may very well exhaust you,” he spoke worriedly.</p><p> </p><p>“The Castellan’s done <em>so much</em> for me, Elim,” Julian argued as Kelas came out into the corridor.</p><p> </p><p>Kelas sighed at Julian and Elim, “I couldn’t help but overhear,” the Cardassian spoke thoughtfully. “We don’t know if the Castellan will need an amputation as of yet, Doctor Julian, but it is <em>very generous</em> of you to offer your help. I will assign you as a consultant and if an amputation needs to happen, I will consult you and you can arrange an artificial limb.”</p><p> </p><p>“For now, though, I’m taking you back to our temporary residence,” Elim cut in gently. “You look <em>exhausted</em>, Julian. You’ve done the Castellan a <em>world</em> of good just by visiting with him.”</p><p> </p><p>Truth be told, Julian <em>was</em> exhausted and he was frustrated by it because he had never expected his Augmented self to be so severely weakened by multiple illnesses. He sighed and let Elim snake an arm around him before guiding him back to the skimmer parked outside of the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>As Julian settled himself in the skimmer, he saw Galen come out and speak to Elim for a few moments before going back inside. Elim silently sat next to Julian and held him close.</p><p> </p><p>“Galen isn’t sure when the lockdown will be lifted, but he knows where we’re staying and he’ll send himself or Kelas out with your next treatment,” Elim stated softly, ruffling Julian’s hair.</p><p> </p><p>Julian, however, remained quiet because he had no energy left for engaging in conversation.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>“<em>He wasn’t there, Anton! I thought he’d go to the prison at the same time the Castellan did to arrange my trial</em>!” Gul Marak’s voice filled the air. “<em>According to traditional Cardassian law, the victim is given the choice to face the accused when a trial is being arranged! I thought he’d…!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Anton Shran, an Andorian freedom fighter who worked daily to fight his ancestor’s love of pink-skins, scoffed as he paced the floor of the quarters he held aboard Talla Station. The Federation was <em>so very desperate</em> to wash their hands of <em>imperfections or so-called dangerous people</em>, yet they allowed incompetent individuals to take the reins. He had heard of the Federation turning on Julian Bashir years ago and he had offered to finish the man off, but Admiral Ross had instead reached out to a Cardassian hater named Miles O’Brien who also happened to be Bashir’s <em>friend.</em></p><p> </p><p>The Federation had slapped him in the face by refusing his offer, Anton thought bitterly as he faced the screen where Gul Marak was, “Julian Bashir is of no consequence now,” Anton hissed in a cold voice. “I offered to finish the Augment off for free and the Federation simply…”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>The Castellan is protecting him</em>!” Gul Marak protested anxiously. “<em>I know this to be a fact!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Anton swore as his antennae twitched, “What we are going to do in response to the Federation’s insult will shock the Augment so much that he’ll die,” he growled. “How far out are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We can be to Talla Station in two days at maximum speed</em>,” Gul Marak replied anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>Anton sighed, his expression dark, “<em>We’ll talk more about the plan when you arrive</em>,” he spoke in a cold voice that was very much unlike his ancestor. “<em>The Federation will pay for their arrogance. Anyone who once held Deep Space Nine near and dear to their heart will suffer.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Before Gul Marak could reply, Anton ended the call and marched out of his quarters, not stopping until he reached a room at the end of the corridor. He entered the room and smirked as he approached a chair where Admiral Ross was bound tightly while guarded by an armed Andorian. Admiral Ross’s face was bruised, but he looked determined to endure.</p><p> </p><p>“Bashir <em>wasn’t</em> there,” Anton growled in a cold voice. “The information you gave me was a <em>lie!</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Admiral Ross frowned, “That’s <em>impossible!</em>” he replied in an angry voice, glaring at the Andorian coldly. “Miles O’Brien dumped him there in 2376 before going rogue! I know that for a <em>fact</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>How</em>?!” Anton sniped viciously, his expression murderous. “Your so-called intelligence network?! Or that foolish Captain you gave Bashir over to in hopes he’d end up dead? You Federation fools are <em>all alike</em>! You want to eliminate threats, but then you screw it up!”</p><p> </p><p>Admiral Ross paled, “If you let me go there myself, I can find him!” he pled anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve let the <em>Federation and their sentiment</em> get in the way for <em>much too long</em>!” Anton snapped in an angry voice as he pulled a knife from his belt. “You’re of no further use to me, pink-skin!”</p><p> </p><p>Before Admiral Ross could reply, Anton slit the man’s throat and threw the knife at his feet. He had kidnapped Admiral Ross and tortured him in response to the Federation’s refusal to allow the Andorians to help in destroying the illegal Augment that was Julian Bashir. Unfortunately, Anton mused, Admiral Ross’s information had proven <em>useless</em> and hence, he had outlived his use. As had Deep Space Nine.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell the others to prepare for the journey to Deep Space Nine,” Anton growled at the guard. “It’s <em>time</em>.”</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p><em>“…Deanna, I’d like you and your mother back on the Titan as soon as it’s safe to leave the planet</em>,” Will Riker’s voice filled the air as Julian and Elim entered the O’Brien home. “<em>They know you’re not on shore leave and they’re not happy. I haven’t told them what you’re doing, but I’d advise you to hurry back…</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Deanna Troi-Riker nodded pressed a kiss to the screen before ending the call and looking to the Bashir-Garak couple, “I was able to get through to Will and Thaddeus briefly,” she explained in a concerned voice as she stood to greet them. “Starfleet’s wanting all active officers off their shore leaves immediately or as soon as they can manage it because Admiral Ross went missing from Earth and they want all active vessels investigating possible leads. They also know I didn’t go on shore leave, but Will hasn’t told them I came to help you. Once the lockdown is over, I’m afraid my mother and I must leave.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian frowned, “Admiral Ross from Starfleet is <em>missing</em>?” he asked softly, unable to help but feel concern for the man even though he was directly responsible for the 2376 Incident. “Do you know any details?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your concern, Julian,” Miles cut in as he came in from the kitchen. “We’re not Starfleet anymore and he was the one who arranged for your kidnapping and torture. If he got himself tangled up with the wrong crowd just to try and get you out of the way, he needs to lie in the bed that he made. How was your meeting with the Castellan?”</p><p> </p><p>Elim’s eyes narrowed at Miles, “Excuse me, <em>what</em>?!” he asked coldly. “Starfleet…they <em>arranged</em> to kill Julian?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian responded by moving into the kitchen where Keiko was making a meal for Yoshi, Molly, and Lady Myrina, “…Garak, we’re <em>not</em> having that discussion in here where my kids can overhear,” Miles spoke in a firm voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor Julian, you look <em>tired</em>,” Lady Myrina observed as Julian sat next to her at the table. “How was the visit?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed and frowned when he suddenly heard voices in the backyard, “Forgive me,” Lady Myrina said, noting the tired expression on his face. “That visit obviously took a lot out of you. Perhaps after you rest, we can talk. I didn’t go with you to see Malko because even <em>I</em> must follow proper procedures…”</p><p> </p><p>“I…I think I’m going to lie down,” Julian spoke softly, getting up again. “I’m feeling very worn out.”</p><p> </p><p>Keiko and Lady Myrina looked worried, but they didn’t stop Julian from retreating to the guest room because they too knew he needed rest. Once Julian was alone, he discarded his boots and vest before retiring to bed and holding Kukulaka close, “Old friend, I’m <em>tired</em>,” he spoke weakly. “<em>So tired</em>.”</p><p> </p><p><em>I’m only 41 and I feel so weak and helpless</em>. Julian mused sadly, his eyes on his stuffed companion.</p><p> </p><p>“Could life get any harder?” Julian murmured softly, unaware that Elim and Miles had finished talking and Elim had come to the guest room to check on him after hearing Keiko say Julian was feeling unwell.</p><p> </p><p>Elim frowned at that quiet rumination and promptly came over to the bed, “My dear, I <em>know</em> the visit wore you out, but <em>I am glad</em> you did it,” he spoke as he sat on the bed and took Julian’s hands in his own.</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>shouldn</em>’t feel this tired after a ride in a skimmer and a simple hospital visit,” Julian spoke weakly.</p><p> </p><p>Elim sighed patiently, his expression gentle, “Julian, I <em>assume </em>that you and Chief O’Brien have come to terms with what happened in 2376, as he seemed a lot calmer today,” he observed patiently. “He was a bit <em>teary</em> when we talked in the backyard, but he seemed more at peace. It must have been <em>emotionally draining</em> for you to speak of it."</p><p> </p><p>“It <em>has</em>,” Julian admitted softly, sighing weakly. “And the mess with Gul Marak, my illnesses…and the <em>stroke</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim nodded and gently stroked Julian’s face, prompting Julian to close his eyes and let out a quiet sigh of surrender, “Just <em>remember</em>, my dear doctor, you <em>do not</em> have to endure all things alone,” he mused softly. "My love for you is <em>unconditional</em>..."</p><p> </p><p>Comforted by Elim's words and touch, Julian allowed himself to drift into a deep sleep. Elim simply sat there and watched Julian sleep, allowing himself a tired smile, "<em>You are enough, my Julian</em>," Elim whispered, caressing his pale cheek.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Monumental Losses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>August 2383</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Deep Space Nine</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The area surrounding the isolated space station was quiet, almost serene. It was early enough in the day cycle that hardly anyone within the station was awake and no ships were due to dock until later that day. Usually, the end of the summer season at the station meant supply ships were docking around the clock to switch out seasonal supplies, but there was none of that that day. A few cargo ships were in dock, as their patrons were taking shore leave, but that was it.</p><p> </p><p>Taking advantage of the peace and quiet, Captain Stephen Drammell found himself walking the quiet Promenade and his good mood suddenly soured when he found that Quark’s was already open. He had told Quark repeatedly to wait until after 0800 to conduct business because his Ferengi existence and the way he did business was an <em>eyesore</em> on the other merchants’ work.</p><p> </p><p>Planting a scowl on his face, Captain Drammell stormed into the bar and glared daggers at Quark as he approached, “Did we not have a discussion about <em>appropriate business practices</em>?!” he asked in a stern voice. “Like I said before, you <em>filthy</em> Ferengi, you are <em>not</em> to operate before 0800 and you are to close every night at 2300. If you <em>can’t</em> obey orders, <em>maybe</em> I should…”</p><p> </p><p>“What, <em>arrest</em> me and <em>torture</em> me just like you did to Julian Bashir in 2376?” Quark replied in a cold voice, having <em>had it</em> with the new CO. “<em>Everyone</em> knows <em>what you did</em> and we did what we could to make sure he didn’t die at your hands! It just so happens that I am <em>packing to leave</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>It was then that Captain Drammell noticed that the bar was emptier than usual, the drinks were gone, and a crate was sitting behind the counter, “You’re <em>leaving?!</em>” he replied angrily.</p><p> </p><p>“My nephew has some shore leave and he and my brother are coming to pick me up,” Quark explained in a cold voice, glaring at the man. “You can do what you want with the space.”</p><p> </p><p>Captain Drammell’s eyes widened in shock, “You have a contract til the end of the year!” he screeched in an infuriated voice. “You agreed you wouldn’t leave until you found…!”</p><p> </p><p>“Unless mitigating circumstances came up!” Quark argued. “You’re a <em>terrible</em> commanding officer and I can’t believe Starfleet let someone like <em>you</em> take control of Deep Space Nine!”</p><p> </p><p>Captain Drammell scoffed, “<em>Incoming vessel</em>!” an automated voice suddenly spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“There, you <em>see</em>?” Quark replied calmly. “My ride’s here and I can <em>leave</em> this <em>dump</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Captain Drammell swore, “Good!” he snapped. “<em>Good riddance</em> to you and your bar!”</p><p> </p><p>Quark scoffed as the Starfleet Captain stormed out, nearly knocking into a seedy looking Andorian who was making his way in. Anton Shran had arrived at the station several days ago with the Cardassians he had rendezvoused with and Gul Marak had immediately suggested going back for Julian Bashir-Garak, but Anton had shot the plan down and said he had his <em>own</em> plan.</p><p> </p><p>Him and his crew had spent the last few days posing as shore leave tourists and carrying out their plan as much as they were able. They had also killed a few officers who tried to stop them, but they had successfully hidden the bodies and nobody was the wiser. It was almost <em>time</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, we’re not officially open til 0800,” Quark spoke in a dry voice, sighing. “Now that I’ve said the <em>party line</em>, what can I get you? I’m in the middle of moving, so it’s a bit messy.”</p><p> </p><p>Anton smirked, but didn’t say anything due to the sudden arrival of Rom and Nog to the bar, “Brother!” Rom spoke in a warm voice, smiling at Quark. “How are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hello there, Uncle,” Rom spoke calmly as he stood there sporting a Starfleet uniform that had the pips of a Lieutenant Commander on the collar. “Leeta sends her apologies, but Bena is ill and she didn’t want to come this far with a sick kid. She’s looking forward to seeing you, though.”</p><p> </p><p>Quark nodded and gestured to the already packed crates, “I just have to finish packing this last crate, but you and your father can start moving things,” he spoke irritably, sighing.</p><p> </p><p>Rom and Nog got to work moving crates, but Anton took a seat at the bar, “Do you have any Andorian ale still out?” Anton asked with a smirk. “Might as well enjoy your good bartending while it is here. It is a <em>very big shame</em> that Starfleet has been so strict on your business…”</p><p> </p><p>As Quark served Anton, Gul Marak wandered into the bar and sat at a table. He was still very angry at Anton’s refusal to return to Cardassia to finish off Julian Bashir-Garak even though they had the resources to do it. What were they doing <em>here</em> instead of carrying out Anton’s plan? He had mostly kept to himself, as had the other Cardassians, since arriving unless Anton needed them to operate some of the Cardassian equipment on the station without being detected.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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  <strong>Cardassia</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It was Julian’s 42<sup>nd</sup> birthday and lockdown had been lifted to the point where people were allowed to return to their homes. News had travelled quickly about the Castellan’s injury, however, and riots had begun, as citizens had believed that they were now a lawless world. Such action had forced the Ministry of Justice to have officers patrolling the streets in order to prevent violence, looting, and other forms of unlawful activity.</p><p> </p><p>Because of the rioting and looting, Elim had decided that Julian should remain with the O’Brien’s while he went to Cardassia City to retrieve Julian’s parents and also check the state of things. He had left the morning after the Castellan had been hospitalized and hadn’t yet returned, which worried Julian immensely. Lady Myrina had left the day before, as her husband had requested to recover in the privacy of his estate and he also wanted her to help him get a message out to the population that their behavior was deplorable and unacceptable. Deanna had gone to the Castellan’s residence with them to check on her mother and had advised Julian to be more open about how he felt and what he could do now.</p><p> </p><p>That being said, Julian was spending the morning of his birthday alone in the O’Brien’s garden, resting in a lawn chair and gazing up at the sky. He only had his pajamas, robe, and slipper boots for warmth, but he didn’t care. Whether or not Elim and his parents were safe was the only thing he cared about. It had been <em>agonizing</em> watching Elim leave, but it was necessary.</p><p> </p><p>Even though he was only 42, Julian felt so old and wondered if he would ever feel youthful again. The treatments were helping with mobility, but he found himself having to use his glasses more and more because his vision had worsened and he also got very tired very quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Julian?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian slowly sat up and saw Miles lingering, “It’s a cold morning,” Miles observed softly, frowning worriedly. “Garak would kill me if you ended up getting sick while he was away.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m <em>already</em> sick, Miles,” Julian replied somberly, sighing. “And I’m <em>not</em> getting better.”</p><p> </p><p>Miles frowned, “I’m <em>sure</em> the medicine will work soon,” he replied in a reassuring voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m needing my glasses all of the time now and I get tired so easily,” Julian argued softly.</p><p> </p><p>Miles planted himself on the edge of the lawn chair just as shouts came from inside of the house, “Daddy, Uncle Julian, Uncle Julian’s parents are here!” Molly’s voice suddenly filled the air.</p><p> </p><p>Miles quickly got up and watched as Julian slowly got to his feet. They went into the house and reached the front room just in time to see Richard and Amsha come into the house, both of them looking slightly tired, but unharmed. Both embraced Julian immediately upon seeing him.</p><p> </p><p>“Elim sent us ahead in a skimmer and said he’d be along after he checked your house,” Richard explained as they pulled apart. “You’re looking horribly pale, son. Have you eaten yet?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian shook his head and immediately found himself being firmly escorted to the kitchen and sat down at the table by his mother, “I will make you food,” Amsha spoke anxiously. “You need it.”</p><p> </p><p>As Amsha began pulling food out for breakfast, Miles came into the kitchen with Richard, “Molly went to wake Keiko and Yoshi and tell them you were back,” Miles explained.</p><p> </p><p>“I just <em>wish</em> Elim had come too,” Julian mumbled before staring sadly at the table, no longer in the mood to eat.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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  <strong>Deep Space Nine</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Quark couldn’t help but feel a little sad as he sat in the galley aboard the ship that had come from Bajor to collect him. His stock and personal possessions were in the cargo hold, but he strangely didn’t care about checking on them. He had given so many years to Deep Space Nine and it hurt to be leaving it behind simply because he couldn’t take what it had become after Sisko left.</p><p> </p><p>“Quark?”</p><p> </p><p>Quark looked up from the table and was stunned to see Colonel Kira, Rom, and Nog come into the room, “Oh, hi,” he spoke in a monotone voice. “I was just…just getting a drink before I go look over the cargo. I’m just not sure how the replicators work aboard this thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uncle, it’s <em>okay</em> to be sad about leaving Deep Space Nine,” Nog replied in a kind voice.</p><p> </p><p>Quark scoffed, but the alarms filled the air before he could reply, “Deep Space Nine has gone to Red Alert and is requesting assistance with emergency evacuations!” an automated voice stated.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, the ship rocked violently and Kira frowned, “What’s going on?” she asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Quark looked out the window just in time to see parts of the station, which wasn’t far from the Xhosa, suddenly explode into fireballs, “What the…?” he asked in a stunned voice, his eyes wide.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Emergency protocol initiated</em>,” an automated voice spoke. “<em>Transports in progress</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>The group quickly rushed to the transporter room just in time to see Kasidy helping a group of people off the pad including Nurse Jabara, Dr. Girani, Captain Drammell, Guls Marak, Tylen, Elias, Edeil, Hatan, and Smakal, “Andorians set off <em>explosives!</em>” a bleeding Gul Marak, who had been caught in the blast because he had been in Quark’s at the time of the explosion, coughed.</p><p> </p><p>“They announced they were doing it because they see Starfleet as <em>weak</em>,” Nurse Jabara spoke in an anxious voice, frowning at Kasidy. “A distress signal is being sent out, but…”</p><p> </p><p>Kasidy sighed as she tapped her combadge, “Set course for Bajor,” she ordered in an anxious voice, deeply shaken by the unexpected attack. “It’s the safest major hub. We’re short on room.”</p><p> </p><p>“With your permission, Captain Yates, I’ll contact the Bajoran government and inform them of the situation,” Colonel Kira spoke in a concerned voice. “We’ll see how they can help.”</p><p> </p><p>Kasidy nodded, grateful for Kira’s intervention, “Thank you,” she replied anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What about</em> the rest of the people on the station?!” Captain Drammell demanded angrily as Kira hurried from the room. “I saw Cardassians and Andorians snooping around just <em>days</em> before…!”</p><p> </p><p>Gul Marak scoffed and shot the Starfleet Captain a look before moving off of the pad, “What are you staring at, you <em>filthy</em> Cardie?” Captain Drammell spat. “You’re the sort of <em>alien trash</em> that that <em>illegal Augment freak</em> left Starfleet for! And now you <em>conspire</em> with Andorian terrorists!”</p><p> </p><p>Anxious murmuring filled the Transporter Room as Gul Marak glared at Captain Drammell threateningly, “All right, everyone, please proceed to the Mess or open quarters!” Kasidy called out in an anxious voice. “We’re also going relay the distress call to other ships in the area!”</p><hr/>
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  <strong>Cardassia</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Hours</em> had passed since his parents had returned and there had been no sign or communication from Elim. Julian was beyond worried and he was also angry that Elim hadn’t felt him important enough to even check in. Was his crippled state <em>really too much</em> for Elim to bear? Elim had never been good with fully opening up, Julian mused bitterly, as he put a cloak on over his clothes.</p><p> </p><p>Since Elim wasn’t bothering to check in, Julian had decided to hire a skimmer and go to Cardassia City in search of his husband. It would no doubt tire him, but he <em>had</em> to do it. After breakfast, he had retired to his bedroom and slept until his parents woke him for lunch. He had also played a few card games with Miles to pass the time and now he knew…it was time to go.</p><p> </p><p>Swallowing hard, Julian grabbed his cane from the bed and made his way out of the spare bedroom just in time to see Molly come into view, “Julian, we’re making you a birthday cake!” Molly announced in an excited voice, smiling at him. “We’re also making dinner!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve actually got to go, Molly, but I’ll be back,” Julian replied softly. “All right?”</p><p> </p><p>Molly pouted, but nodded and Julian made his way over to the communications terminal in the living room to call the skimmer. As he sat down, Miles wandered into the house after leaving Richard to work on a birthday present for Julian in the workshop. He frowned at Julian.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re dressed to go out,” Miles observed in a concerned voice. “Going to look for Garak?”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed irritably, “<em>Yes</em>,” he replied in an upset voice. “It’s <em>not</em> like Elim to not call.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you feeling up to a trip to Cardassia City?” Miles asked worriedly. “You look tired.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian scowled, “<em>Not really</em>, but seeing as my husband <em>doesn’t care</em> to let me know that he’s all right, I’ve got <em>no choice</em>,” he replied as he put in an order for a skimmer using computerized commands because he couldn’t remember Kardasi terms all of a sudden. “I’ll be all right.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t I come with you?” Miles suggested calmly. “It’ll be safer that way anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian pursed his lips, but didn’t argue and allowed Miles to join him outside. Soon enough, a skimmer arrived and the two boarded. The ride to Cardassia City was done in complete silence.</p><p> </p><p>Within the hour, the skimmer pulled up to the building where Elim’s office was. Miles helped Julian from the skimmer without complaint, “<em>Wait here</em>,” Julian ordered in a cold voice.</p><p> </p><p>Miles’s eyes widened at Julian’s unusually upset tone of voice, but kept quiet as he followed his friend through the maze of offices to Elim’s. To Julian’s shock, the office was closed and a note was on the door that said. <em>Council in session in government chambers.</em> <em>– Legate E. Garak is out.</em></p><p> </p><p>“He’s <em>not</em> using our married name,” Julian spoke in a subdued voice, anxiety washing over him.</p><p> </p><p>Miles frowned as Julian touched the note and silently began to tremble and weep, “He…he’s <em>tired</em> of being married to me,” Julian stammered through tears. “I…I <em>knew</em> he would be…”</p><p> </p><p>“Take a <em>deep breath</em> before you have another stroke,” Miles spoke in a worried voice.</p><p> </p><p>Julian complied, but he continued to shake uncontrollably because the mere sight of Elim signing something as if he were unmarried was deeply troubling. He was vaguely aware of Miles leading him back to the public area of the office and sitting him on a couch. He also heard quiet talking.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor Julian, what brings you to the office?” a cheerful, familiar voice suddenly asked.</p><p> </p><p>Julian looked up to see none other than Doctor Kelas Parmak coming into the foyer from outside, “You’re looking tired, but I assume that you want to help given the situation,” Kelas said calmly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Situation</em>?” Julian replied in a confused voice, frowning. “I’m <em>not sure</em> I know what you mean.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelas frowned, “Deep Space Nine was attacked by Andorian terrorists earlier today and the survivors were going to go to Bajor, but Bajor’s low on resources for that kind of a situation,” he explained in a quiet voice. “The Council’s meeting to see what help we can offer…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian’s jaw dropped and Miles swore, “Deep Space Nine was <em>attacked</em>?” Julian asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Before Kelas could reply, the door to the main floor government chambers opened and several Cardassians, including Elim, streamed out of the hall, “Well, I’d <em>like</em> to do whatever I can to help see to the medical needs of those who survived,” Julian replied softly. “How <em>many</em> survived?”</p><p> </p><p>“Julian, it’s <em>not</em> a good idea for you to be involved,” Elim cut in, frowning. “Your <em>health</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Julian scoffed, “I’m <em>still</em> a doctor and if people are <em>in need</em> of help, I <em>want</em> to give it,” he snipped, tired of being seen as weak and helpless by Elim. “I’ve <em>recovered</em> from the stroke <em>quite</em> well.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you <em>overestimate</em> how <em>well </em>you <em>actually</em> are, dear,” Elim replied in a concerned voice.</p><p> </p><p>Julian’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he glared at Elim, “And it’s <em>clear</em> I <em>overestimated</em> my value to you!” he argued in a cold, slightly weak voice. “I’ve been worried sick <em>all day</em> long!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to continue worrying because we have an idea of who survived and Gul Marak seems to be among those who were rescued by the Xhosa,” Elim replied in an apologetic voice, ignoring Julian’s anger. “We’ve already sent word to the Xhosa about his criminal acts and they’re going to detain him until they can deliver him back to Cardassia. His trial <em>will </em>take place then.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian paled and Elim sighed patiently before enveloping him into a warm embrace, “My dear, I’m <em>sorry</em> I didn’t contact you, but I <em>fully intended</em> on telling you,” Elim spoke in a gentle voice. “<em>Forgive</em> me.”</p><p> </p><p>Instead of replying, however, Julian pulled away, “Is Commander Troi-Riker still a guest of the Castellan?” he asked in a quiet voice, his expression pained. “If she’s still here, I’d like to talk to her.”</p><p> </p><p>“We can call her from my house,” Miles spoke in a calm voice. “We <em>should</em> get back to New Lakaria while it's still light out."</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked aghast as Julian went outside to the skimmer in silence, “<em>Julian</em>…” he called out worriedly.</p><p> </p><p>Miles and Elim walked out to the skimmer and boarded it quickly, “Julian, <em>please</em>,” Elim pled softly.</p><p> </p><p>Tears slid down Julian’s face as he gazed outside at the passing landscape, deliberately not speaking to Elim because he didn’t know what to say. He was angry, old, tired, and completely <em>useless</em> to him now.</p><p> </p><hr/>
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<hr/><p>As soon as they were back at the O’Brien house, Julian quietly retreated to the spare bedroom without a word to anyone and lay awake on the bed with Kukulaka in his arms. Miles quickly joined in the preparations for the party, allowing Elim to wander into the bedroom and watch his husband.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m <em>not</em> mad at <em>you</em>, <em>you know</em>,” Julian said, gazing at Elim from the bed. “I’m mad at <em>myself</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Elim looked thoughtful as he wandered over to the bed and lay down next to his husband, “I may have told Doctor Parmak that I’d <em>like</em> to be involved in providing aid, but how <em>useful</em> would I <em>actually</em> be in a crisis situation?” Julian mused softly, a somber expression on his face. “I <em>want</em> to give help, but I <em>can’t.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Julian, I <em>know</em> your arrogance and anger is <em>just a cover</em>,” Elim mused gently, gazing at him. “I <em>know</em> it.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian sighed, “I feel like I’m <em>losing</em> the battle with myself, Elim,” he spoke sadly, gazing at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be <em>so arrogant</em> to assume that you’re <em>not</em> getting well just because it’s taking you a long time to respond to the treatments and recover from your stroke,” Elim replied with a sigh. “You’re 42 years old, Julian, and you’re also a<em> survivor</em>. Getting well is going to take <em>time</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>A pained expression crossed Julian’s face, “I feel like I’ve <em>lost</em> parts of myself, though,” he confessed, setting Kukulaka down.</p><p> </p><p>“You <em>haven’t</em> lost <em>me</em>, my dear doctor,” Elim replied, offering a smile as he took Julian's hands in his own. “And I <em>love</em> you.”</p><p> </p><p>Julian’s face took on a small smile, “I <em>love you</em> too,” he replied softly, snuggling close to Elim for much needed warmth. "I'm <em>cold</em>. I <em>hope</em> you <em>don't mind</em> me wanting to <em>snuggle</em> a little bit...just a <em>little</em> bit...you're <em>so...warm</em>..."</p><p> </p><p>Dinner could <em>wait</em>, Elim silently reasoned as Julian drifted off to sleep beside him. His <em>true priority</em> needed him <em>now.</em></p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Painful Enlightenment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <span>Another couple of days passed before lockdown was fully lifted and life returned to normal on Cardassia, but Elim was still worried about returning to Cardassia City full-time. He and Julian had talked to each other, Julian’s parents, to the O’Briens, and all parties had agreed to hide out in New Lakaria until the danger posed by the returning Gul Marak had been dealt with.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Even though they would reside at the O’Brien residence, Julian would still go to the Cardassia City Medical Center for his treatments and rehabilitation, but he wouldn’t go alone. Ever since the conversation with Elim on his birthday, Julian had <em>tried</em> to be <em>more optimistic</em> that he would get well. He was also more gracious about accepting help from those who offered it to him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>That day, as Julian lay on the bed where he was to receive his daily dose of treatment with Kukulaka in his arms, he suddenly felt tired. Elim had come with him to the hospital, but hadn’t followed him to the treatment room and Julian had reasoned that something had come up.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Soon enough, Galen came in with the dosage and Julian closed his eyes because he didn’t see the need to watch himself be hooked up to disgusting medication. Galen likewise didn’t try to start a conversation because he could tell Julian didn’t have the energy for it, which concerned him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Julian lay there with his eyes closed, he heard quiet talking before he felt a warm body brush up next to him, “Julian, my love, I have news for you,” Elim spoke softly. “The Castellan wants to speak with me in <em>private</em> and so I’m going to have to leave you here under Galen’s care.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Don’t get killed</em>,” Julian spoke in a groggy voice, not opening his eyes. “I’m <em>tired</em>…I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim delivered a gentle kiss to Julian’s lips before leaving quietly, not knowing that Galen had followed, “What is it, Elim?” Galen asked suspiciously, frowning. “Why does Castellan…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m not sure,” Elim lied nervously. “Galen, just keep Julian resting til I get back. Please?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen scowled at him, “<em>Lying</em> to Julian is <em>going</em> to make him <em>hate</em> you,” he hissed coldly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Elim turned and left, he didn’t see that Julian was awake and had overheard the conversation.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It didn’t take long for Elim to get to the Castellan’s residence on the skimmer that had been sent for him. He entered the house with trepidation about what he would find and he was very surprised to find Castellan Marratt waiting for him and standing on two good legs.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Castellan, it’s a miracle to see you’ve healed,” Elim spoke in a respectful voice, bowing.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt nodded, “Legate, we need to have a <em>conversation</em>,” he replied softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Castellan, I <em>know</em> that it’s <em>quite unusual</em> for us to remain in New Lakaria even though the lockdown is over, but it’s <em>safer</em> to stay there until this whole business with Gul Marratt is dealt with,” Elim began babbling in an anxious voice. “Julian’s health is <em>more important</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt sighed, “Legate, <em>this</em> is about Miles O’Brien,” he replied firmly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim frowned worriedly, “Miles O’Brien?” he asked softly. “I <em>thought </em>that was <em>settled.</em>”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I got a message from Earth that they are looking for him,” Castellan Marratt explained in a concerned voice. “He’s been MIA since 2376 after leaving on temporary assignment since Deep Space Nine. According to <em>official</em> records, he was to resume his post after his mission and he didn’t, so the Admiralty has been looking for him. Someone on the Xhosa said he was <em>here</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim frowned, “I was under the impression that Chief O’Brien <em>resigned</em>,” he replied curtly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m <em>sure</em> he was too,” Castellan Marratt said in a concerned voice, frowning. “The fact that he actually took custody of your husband obviously made Starfleet think that he was following orders and his resignation was to cover his tracks. They <em>seem to think</em> he’s still a part of them.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A feeling of unease filled Elim’s heart, “How much trouble is he in?” he asked worriedly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain Stephen Drammell has been given authority to try Chief O’Brien for desertion once the Xhosa reaches Cardassia to deliver Gul Marak,” Castellan Marratt replied somberly. “<em>Fortunately</em>, I was able to get permission to oversee the trial myself, but Chief O’Brien’s actions towards your husband will have to be addressed. Captain Drammell is quite the piece of work…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim groaned, “And <em>why</em> are you telling <em>me</em> this?” he asked irritably. “To make Julian <em>testify?</em>! I don’t think he’ll be able to remember everything or be able to handle being put on the stand.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I want Ambassador Troi and her daughter to see if they can make him remember as much as possible about the kidnapping and torture,” Castellan Marratt spoke firmly. “Starfleet will let us do whatever we please with Gul Marak in exchange. My hands are very much tied, Legate!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s eyes narrowed, “There’s <em>more</em>, isn’t there?” he asked in a nervous voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The U.S.S. Titan is coming because Chief O’Brien is facing a court martial and Captain Riker was ordered to serve on the board,” Castellan Marratt replied firmly. “There is a way out of all of this, though, and that is for you and your husband to serve as sponsors for the O’Brien family.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim frowned, “Lady Myrina’s already their sponsor, I thought?” he asked in a confused voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No, she gave his <em>family</em> protected status, but <em>not</em> him,” Castellan Marratt explained in an annoyed voice. “You are a citizen of Cardassia and you have the right to grant people citizenship, but your husband was the victim of a crime committed by Chief O’Brien. Julian has the responsibility and right to say whether or not he’s comfortable with offering help. If he refuses, Chief O’Brien will be taken into custody and sent back to Earth to be at the mercy of Starfleet.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scowled, “Julian’s having a treatment today and he’s usually tired and irritable after them, so he’s not going to be feeling up to such a serious conversation,” he replied in a worried voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Legate, I allowed Lady Myrina to give Keiko, Molly, and Yoshi O’Brien protected status on Cardassia, but what Miles O’Brien did to your husband is very much a crime and I cannot give amnesty to criminals unless surviving victims of the crimes offer an official statement of absolution,” Castellan Marratt explained firmly, his expression stern. “O’Brien has been on <em>probationary status</em> and has had certain conditions he must abide by. Even if Julian can’t fully remember, O’Brien’s testimony to Galenna and the testimony Captain Drammell is planning on providing to Captain Riker will be enough to make a case. Julian, however, could change that if he simply wishes to forgive and absolve O’Brien of the crime and be willing to make it official.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, his expression very sad, “Ambassador Troi and Commander Troi-Riker will have <em>some time</em> to try and help Julian remember because the Xhosa can’t get here right away,” Castellan Marratt explained in a quieter voice. “But they <em>will</em> come within the next few weeks after the dust has settled from the destruction of Deep Space Nine. Hundreds were able to evacuate, but hundreds also died. Every available ship is being used to settle things…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“He’s recovering from a <em>stroke</em> and it’s a hard process,” Elim protested even though he knew it was futile to do so. “Castellan, we’re <em>staying</em> with the O’Briens and it might get ugly.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt sighed, “You and Julian are quite welcome to stay <em>here</em> if you fear this situation might get ugly,” he offered softly. “Or you two can simply return to your house in the city.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“We have <em>Julian’s parents</em> to consider as well,” Elim responded with a sigh. “Oh dear…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt nodded, “Oh dear, indeed,” he spoke in a soft voice. “I’m <em>sorry</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I suppose Julian and I will <em>need</em> to have a discussion today after all,” Elim mused grimly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>By the time Elim got back to the Central Hospital from the Castellan’s residence, it had been nearly an hour and he expected that Julian would be ready to go. What he didn’t expect, however, was to see Galen and Kelas talking at the desk, both of them looking worried.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Where’s Julian?” Elim asked in a concerned voice. “His treatment <em>should </em>be done.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen eyed Elim and sighed softly, “He was worried about your meeting with the Castellan having something to do with Gul Marak and he overheard us talking,” he explained in a grim voice. “The stress of worrying made him get sick enough to prompt me to admit him.” </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Horror filled Elim, “Galen, <em>where is he</em>?” he asked in a concerned voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Scoffing, Galen gestured down the hallway, “He’s in the emergency unit right now,” he replied with a sigh. “Elim, I <em>warned</em> you that lying to your husband would cause him great stress.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Cursing in Kardasi, Elim ran in the direction that Galen had pointed and was shocked to see Julian laying asleep on a biobed sporting a dripline in one hand and a respiratory device on his face. A blanket was over his body and Kukulaka was peeking out from under the cover.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sat next to the biobed and gently touched Julian’s hand, prompting a quiet groan to emit from underneath the mask. Julian’s eyes opened and he eyed Elim before reaching up and pulling the mask off. He coughed a few times before assuming an annoyed expression.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“How was your meeting with the Castellan?” Julian asked in a quiet voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, “I was <em>worried</em> it had something to do with Gul Marak, so I didn’t want to tell you about it, but Galen said you overheard,” he explained softly. “It turns out that the meeting had nothing to do with Gul Marak after all. It had to do with the status of Chief O’Brien.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned, “<em>Miles</em>?” he asked softly as Galen wandered into the room. “What…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It’s good to see you awake and talking,” Galen spoke softly. “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian slowly sat up, “A bit tired, but better now that I’ve had a rest,” he admitted softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Well, I don’t see any reason to keep you if you don’t want to stay, but I <em>don’t</em> want you travelling all the way back to New Lakaria tonight,” Galen spoke in a concerned voice. “It’s getting darker earlier now with the change in seasons and you <em>need</em> your rest.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded, “Dearest, why don’t we just go home tonight?” he asked softly. “If you need your things, I can contact your parents to bring them. You need to rest and we <em>need</em> to <em>talk</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and sighed weakly, “All right,” he replied softly. “Will you tell me everything?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“When we’re in the privacy of our home, <em>yes</em>,” Elim promised. “For now, though, I’m going to focus my energies on getting you and Kukulaka out of here. Galen, can you call a skimmer?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Galen left, Julian gazed at Elim, wondering what exactly their chat would involve.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…<em>I’ve sent the skimmer to New Lakaria and it should be there within an hour</em>,” Miles heard a voice say as he came into the house after doing a daily check of the house’s security systems. </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Frowning, Miles moved into the room just in time to see Richard and Amsha nod at the screen before the call ended. Before he could ask what was going on, the terminal beeped.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Incoming call for Miles O’Brien from Bajor</em>,” the computer’s automated voice reported.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles approached the comms terminal and Richard and Amsha promptly moved off to the spare bedroom to pack Julian and Elim’s things as Elim requested. He pressed a few buttons on the computer and was surprised to see Kira’s face appear on the screen looking unusually somber.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Chief, I’ve been authorized by Starfleet to tell you that you’ll be facing a court-martial hearing when the Xhosa and Titan can make it to Cardassia</em>,” Colonel Kira spoke in a grim voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned, “I <em>don’t understand</em>,” he replied worriedly. “I <em>resigned</em> in 2376.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Not according to Starfleet</em>,” Colonel Kira replied in a concerned voice. “<em>According to Starfleet, Admiral Ross sent you on a secret assignment from Earth to Deep Space Nine after a brief stay in New Zealand. I did some digging and found out that your unofficial mission involved Julian.”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles paled, but didn’t say anything, “<em>Officially, you’ve been MIA since 2376 after leaving on temporary assignment since Deep Space Nine</em>,” Colonel Kira continued. “<em>According to official records, you were to resume his post after his mission and you didn’t, so the Admiralty has been looking for him. Someone on the Xhosa told Captain Drammell you were on Cardassia.”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“So I’m facing a <em>court-martial</em>?!” Miles spoke nervously. “What do I do about that?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Colonel Kira sighed, “<em>Considering that I carried your son for several months, we are technically related and with that comes the right to advocate for you if you ever get into trouble</em>,” she explained in a concerned voice. “<em>I’m going to come to Cardassia to serve as your advocate, but I really need to know the true story about what happened. Not the one on Starfleet records</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed, “Let me put the call through to my office,” he replied softly. “It’s not something I want anyone else overhearing. I’m going to tell the truth and you aren’t going to like it one bit.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Miles transferred the call and moved to the privacy of his and Keiko’s office to chat with Kira while Keiko was out with Molly and Yoshi, Richard and Amsha came out with Julian and Elim’s things packed, “Elim called us and they went home,” Amsha explained. “We are going back to Cardassia City to be with Elim and Julian. We thank you very much for your hospitality.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Taken aback by Elim’s sudden desire to keep Julian away from him, all Miles could do was nod and silently drift into his office. He sat at the desk and re-activated the call with Colonel Kira, his heart heavy as he did so, “All right, Colonel,” he spoke in a grim voice. “I’m ready.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Hot tea and Zabu stew should keep us both warm until I can get the house heated properly,” Elim spoke in an anxious voice as he set the food and drink on the kitchen table before taking a seat beside Julian. “I’ll explain things, but I want you to <em>listen</em> and I also want you to <em>eat.</em>”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and slowly ate while Elim sighed, “The Castellan informed me that Chief O’Brien didn’t actually resign from Starfleet and has been charged with desertion for being MIA since 2376 after leaving on temporary assignment since Deep Space Nine,” Elim explained in a quiet, somber voice. “Obviously, what he did to you wasn’t ever brought out into official records.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A sad expression filled Julian’s face, but he continued eating quietly, so Elim continued, “According to <em>official</em> records, he was to resume his post after his mission and he didn’t, so the Admiralty has been looking for him,” he explained. “Someone on the Xhosa said he was <em>here</em> and Captain Stephen Drammell of the former Deep Space Nine has been given authority to try Chief O’Brien for desertion once the Xhosa reaches Cardassia to deliver Gul Marak. The Castellan will be overseeing the trial and Chief O’Brien will have to answer for the crime he participated in against you <em>and</em> the desertion charge. Captain Drammell and Captain Riker of the Titan will be overseeing the court-martial side of things. The Castellan <em>did</em> make one request.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned and Elim sighed, “Castellan Marratt wants you to spend time with Ambassador and Commander Troi-Riker to see if you can remember anything about the kidnapping and torture because what happened to you will certainly be the focus of the Cardassian side of the trial,” Elim explained grimly. “The Castellan did, however, say, that Chief O’Brien could possibly escape Cardassian charges if you were willing to declare forgiveness and offer absolution.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Fear filled Julian’s eyes and he promptly stopped eating, “<em>Absolution?</em>!” he asked in a confused, quiet voice, his expression one of pure devastation. “You mean acting like it never happened and simply <em>forgetting</em> about it? I…I know Miles was my friend, but I <em>can’t</em> just forget about…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim gently touched Julian’s shoulder reassuringly, “Like it or not, Julian, the Castellan made it <em>clear</em> that you were the victim of a <em>very serious</em> crime that Chief O’Brien knowingly and willingly participated in,” he spoke softly. “If you don’t offer the declaration, Chief O’Brien will stand trial for the crime against you and then he’ll be turned over to Starfleet for court-martial. I was also told that Cardassia is in the process of trying to charge Captain Drammell for his role, but they might not get anywhere because Admiral Ross authorized everything you endured.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“What…what about Keiko, Molly, and Yoshi?” Julian asked in a shaking voice. “Miles…he <em>told me he resigned</em> from Starfleet and then I find out it’s not true. This…this is a <em>lot</em> to take in…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, “Lady Myrina granted them protected status, but the Castellan would not allow her to grant the Chief protected status because of his criminal behavior,” he explained softly. “The Chief has been on <em>probationary status</em> and has been ever since he arrived here. The Castellan is very generous, yes, but he said he cannot and would not ever grant amnesty or protected status to criminals unless victims follow a process. Cardassian law is <em>quite clear</em> when it comes to criminal matters.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian didn’t say anything and instead resumed eating because he was beginning to feel numb and tired, “The Castellan isn’t expecting you to be able to remember everything, but there is enough evidence even without your memory,” Elim stated. “O’Brien’s testimony to Galenna and the testimony Captain Drammell is planning on providing to Captain Riker will be enough to make a case. I know this puts you in an <em>impossible</em> position when you’re still recovering…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It took every bit of effort for Julian to finish his dinner, but he managed it and Elim scarfed his down in a flash so they could talk more, “You <em>don’t have to</em> decide anything right away and I’d rather you not make any decisions relating to this until you’ve got a clearer mind,” Elim spoke as he got up and cleared the dishes. “All of this will happen within the next few weeks…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian was silent for several moments before sighing, “The warm season’s going to end <em>early </em>this year, I think,” he spoke in a pained voice, suddenly feeling discomfort in his feet. “I feel it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Your feet are bothering you, I take it?” Elim asked in a worried voice. “How bad?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, “<em>Bad enough</em>,” he replied softly. “We should get the food crops harvested. It’s a bit chilly tonight, but we shouldn’t wait and risk losing anything to the cold. It’ll also distract me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Julian</em>, I will use the computer to activate the crop covers and we can really put harvesting off until daylight,” Elim spoke gently putting his arms around his husband. “I’m not sure you remember, but I installed crop covers in the garden so we could have a longer growing season.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, “I personally think you could use a hot bath and then bedrest,” Elim spoke soothingly. “I can activate the garden covers and heat the house and then we can spend the evening reading.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Julian could reply, the front door opened, “Julian?” Amsha’s voice filled the house. “Elim?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim helped Julian up and the two went into the living room together, “Ah, I see you came as promptly as I asked,” Elim spoke calmly, smiling. “I hope the skimmer was comfortable?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Of course</em> it was!” Richard spoke kindly, offering a smile. “Thank you for sending it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The comms terminal suddenly beeped, “<em>Incoming call from O’Brien residence in New Lakaria</em>,” an automated voice spoke. “<em>Incoming call from O’Brien residence in New Lakaria.”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A haunted expression filled Julian’s face and he promptly looked at the floor, “I will handle this,” Elim spoke in a firm voice, seeing that Julian wasn’t ready to talk to Miles just yet. “Richard…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Swallowing hard, Julian silently retreated to the bathroom and promptly lost the contents of his stomach in the toilet before sitting on the edge of the tub with tears in his eyes. He could hear Elim speaking quite harshly and Miles replying equally harshly, as if the two were in a tug-of-war for Julian. A moment later, Amsha came into the bathroom and saw the mess Julian was.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim said you needed a hot bath and a rest,” Amsha explained softly. “Were you sick?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and whimpered before dissolving into quiet sobs. Amsha promptly embraced him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It will be <em>all right</em>, my Julian,” Amsha spoke, stroking Julian’s face as she turned the water on.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian exhaled anxiously and quietly let his mother undress him and get him into the warm water as quickly as possible, “Elim <em>rarely</em> gets upset anymore, but he sounded <em>so angry</em>,” he mused.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Amsha quickly cleaned Julian up and got him out of the bath and into a towel before hurrying him into his and Elim’s room. Julian quietly let his mother dress him in warm pajamas and slipper boots before she put him to bed with Kukulaka on his chest. He sighed weakly, suddenly feeling like a helpless child again.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Mum, can you hold me til I fall asleep?” Julian mused weakly. “I’m <em>so scared</em>…Mummy, <em>please</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Amsha climbed into bed with Julian and began singing a quiet lullaby to try and comfort her obviously distressed son. She didn’t know exactly what happened, but she knew that it was <em>bad</em>. Julian’s expression was forlorn as he listened to his mother, but he slowly gave into exhaustion and drifted off.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once Amsha was sure that Julian was asleep, she put Kukulaka in his arms, covered him up so he’d stay warm, and kissed his face before leaving the room. Only then did she hear the shattering of bottles.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deeply concerned as to what was happening, Amsha moved into the kitchen and saw Richard standing at the back door with a worried expression on his face. Elim was out in the yard with a crate of kanar bottles at his feet and he was dumping the liquid out of each bottle before hurling it violently at the back wall. He was also swearing, but Richard and Amsha didn’t know it was swearing because Elim was speaking Kardasi with an enraged expression on his face. Richard finally walked over to Elim and sighed.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, <em>what</em> are you doing?” Richard asked in a concerned voice. “You <em>should be</em> with Julian.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, “After my fight with Chief O’Brien, I feel like drinking <em>every last bottle</em> of kanar I have in the house, but I <em>promised</em> Julian I wouldn’t drink anymore!” he hissed through gritted teeth. “The temptation’s <em>too strong</em>, though, so I am dumping and breaking the bottles out of love for my husband!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard sighed, “Go inside and have a tea,” he spoke firmly. “It’s not exactly warm out here tonight.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>suppose</em> I need to respect my elders by obeying,” Elim growled before stalking off into the house. "<em>Good night</em>."</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Instead of getting himself tea, however, Elim retreated to his office and promptly collapsed into his chair because he wasn’t feeling well. Chief O’Brien had asked him why he was stopping him and Julian from talking and wanted to simply get the absolution out of the way so the two could be friends again. Elim had said that Julian was tired from treatment and the Chief had called him <em>controlling and overprotective</em>.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>No doubt</em> Julian heard us arguing,” Elim muttered. “That’s why he got sick in the bathroom.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Exhaling anxiously, Elim waited until he felt his blood pressure go down before he left the office and retreated to the bedroom. He watched Julian sleep for a moment before changing into his nightclothes and getting into bed beside his husband. Julian automatically cuddled against him, as he could easily tell when Elim was in bed and liked the extra warmth that the Cardassian provided. Elim allowed himself to sigh.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Chief O’Brien was a <em>fool</em>, Elim mused as he picked up his holonovel and began to read. The man was a <em>foo</em>l who had <em>knowingly</em> hurt his friend and was now <em>expecting</em> Julian’s mercy to <em>save</em> him from a <em>well-deserved</em> punishment. Not only that, but he had <em>openly lied</em> to Julian about his status on Cardassia and had acted <em>surprised</em> that Julian wasn’t simply willing to forgive and forget. Julian wasn’t weak, Elim knew, and he certainly didn’t grant forgiveness easily. Never mind absolution. He had been hurt by someone he trusted and Elim knew that Julian might not be able to ever forgive it. Julian’s parents had hurt him too, but the family was openly working on the healing process and Elim had faith in it. Chief O’Brien, however, was acting entitled and hoping to avoid responsibility so much so that he had dared disregard Julian’s feelings about what had happened. <em>Nothing good</em> would come of this situation and Elim knew it.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>will</em> protect you, my dear doctor,” Elim muttered, gazing at Julian’s sleeping form. “I <em>promise</em> you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Divided We Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles called several more times over the last few days and Elim had taken each call, determined not to let anyone intimidate Julian into pushing himself. Each call had been tension-filled and Julian heard every word while resting or reading novels to pass the time. It was <em>stressful,</em> to say the least, but Julian didn’t have the strength or courage to do anything about it.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>That morning, Julian was the first awake and didn’t bother to wake Elim or his parents for help in getting dressed or groomed. He was so tired of being the source of anxiety and conflict for everyone and whether or not he was battling illnesses, he <em>had</em> to re-learn how to help himself.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once he was dressed, Julian made his way to the kitchen without bothering to use his cane to see if he could manage without it. His steps were shaky, but he made it to the kitchen where buckets of crops that he, Elim, and his parents had harvested from the garden just the day before with his parents and Elim doing most the work because he had tired quickly. Ignoring the trembling in his body, Julian collected a bucket of peas and sat himself at the table, determined to shell them.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The work, normally an easy task, was harder than Julian had expected because his motor skills were unusually clumsy and he had to really work hard to get the peas into the bowl he had gotten to hold them. His arms and hands also ended up trembling uncontrollably the entire time. Finally, when the bowl was only half full, Julian gave up and decided to go for a walk to gain strength.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It took some doing to get his cold season coat out of the closet and on his body, but he managed it, grabbed his ID and currency chip from the table, and then made his way outside. Cold air immediately hit him and Julian knew that meant it was the time of the seasonal shift that usually happened not long after his birthday each year. Despite the cold, he moved off down the road.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nearly half an hour later, Julian slowly made his way into the marketplace and immediately went to the social area. He painstakingly pulled a chair close to the fire and sat, desperate to relax. He had <em>rested</em>, but he hadn’t been able to <em>relax</em> because of how tense Elim had been acting lately. </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The fact that Miles also expected forgiveness and absolution without any hesitation also made Julian’s heart hurt. Julian had considered Miles a close friend and it had hurt quite a bit to learn of Miles’s involvement in his kidnapping and torture, but it hurt even more that Miles was trying to run from responsibility using their friendship as excuse rather than consider his feelings.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>But what <em>were</em> his feelings? Julian thought to himself as he sat there. Did he <em>want </em>Miles to suffer according to whatever punishments Cardassian law and Starfleet had in store for him? Or did he simply want to let Miles free and also let the friendship go due to Miles’s recent behaviors?</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The sound of footsteps suddenly filled his ears and Julian looked up from the flames to see his boss and colleague, Doctor Kelas Parmak, come into the social area from the direction of the Central Hospital. Kelas looked confused and worried to see Julian alone.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Doctor Julian, it is unusual to see you out by yourself,” Kelas spoke in a concerned voice. “I’ve grown used to you and Elim walking the streets to work together, but you’re not well enough.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed heavily, “No, I’m afraid Elim and I are going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment,” he admitted softly. “I was actually taking a walk to calm myself, but I got tired.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas nodded, “The walk from your home to here is very long and you’re still recovering from treatments and your stroke, so I’m surprised you’re only a <em>bit</em> tired,” he reasoned softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian shrugged, but said nothing and turned his attention back to the fire because he absolutely <em>dreaded</em> being around Elim and/or Miles that day. Kelas studied Julian worriedly before sighing.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I was just on my way home after nightshift at the Central Hospital and I haven’t had breakfast yet,” Kelas spoke in a kind voice. “If you’re hungry and hating the cold, you could join me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, “I’m <em>so tired</em> of all the fighting and dealing with the strong hate Elim and Miles now have for each other because of <em>me</em>,” he admitted shakily. “I <em>haven’t</em> been sleeping well…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Doctor Julian, come with me and we can talk,” Kelas gently interjected. “It’s <em>very</em> cold out.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Julian slowly got up and nearly fell over, “I guess I am a <em>little</em> tired,” he mused softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas gently looped his arm through Julian’s and guided him away from the fire, “It’s all right,” he spoke in a kind voice, offering Julian a smile. “My house isn’t too far from the market.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Slowly, but surely, Julian managed to get himself walking enough so that Kelas didn’t have to do more than keep a hold of him. In less than half an hour, they were at Kelas’s residence: a single level house that was next to a community garden that was covered by an electronic shield.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The community garden will need to be harvested soon,” Kelas commented. “In we go.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian trembled as they entered the house and Kelas immediately sat him on the beige couch in the living room that was near a fireplace, “You rest while I decide what we will have for breakfast, all right?” Kelas spoke warmly. “Computer, activate the fireplace.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Within seconds, the house was warm and Julian suddenly felt tired enough to lie down on the couch whilst huddling himself in his cold weather coat. Kelas watched as Julian promptly drifted off before huddling into a ball. The older Cardassian muttered some quiet curse words before slipping into the kitchen and going over to the comm terminal. He quietly commed the Castellan, knowing that simply phoning Elim to collect his struggling husband would fix <em>nothing</em>.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It was long past noon by the time Elim woke and he immediately realized that Julian was not next to him in bed as he should be. He quickly got out of bed, dressed in day clothes, and hurried into the kitchen only to find a bucket on the table and a half-filled bowl of clumsily shelled peas.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>He wasn’t concerned for Richard and Amsha, as they were known to have breakfast and go for walks by themselves without troubles. What Elim was concerned about was Julian. <em>Where was he? </em>Had he decided to impulsively go off by himself to New Lakaria to handle things alone?</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A cold expression filled Elim’s face and he stormed over to the comms terminal, his anger growing as he commed the O’Brien residence in New Lakaria, “All right, you <em>bigoted prick</em>, <em>where is he</em>?!” he growled once Miles appeared on the screen. “Julian’s there, isn’t he?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned, “Watch your language!” he hissed. “My wife and kids are in the kitchen!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I could <em>care less</em>,” Elim snarled coldly. “How did you get Julian to come to you?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles paused, “Julian’s not here,” he replied coldly, scowling. “He’s with you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Does it <em>look</em> like he’s with me?” Elim asked coldly. “<em>Enough</em> of your <em>game</em>s, Chief.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles gave Elim a look, “I think everything’s <em>getting to you</em>, Garak,” he replied in an annoyed voice, sighing. “You’re the one that <em>dragged</em> Julian home like a helpless pet after Castellan Marratt told you the truth about my status here. Did you ever stop to consider…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Did <em>you?!</em>” Elim screeched angrily. “You <em>expect</em> him to <em>forgive and forget</em> without caring, understanding, or realizing that he’s still <em>very much recovering</em> from the incident you participated in?! He still <em>can’t remember</em> much and the winter cold triggers <em>severe</em> arthritis in his feet…!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles looked like someone slapped him, “And <em>you</em> won’t even <em>let him</em> talk to me!” he snapped.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian’s an adult, but he’s <em>my husband</em> and he’s <em>struggling</em> with two <em>serious</em> health conditions!” Elim roared, slamming his hands on the console. “He got violently ill after having an hysterectomy and not long after that, he had a stroke because of his parents! You think he’s healed fast just because he’s an <em>Augment?</em>! What your <em>precious</em> Starfleet did to him…!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The call suddenly ended just as a knock sounded at the door, “<em>Open up</em>!” a voice commanded.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deeply confused, Elim went to the door and was surprised to see Galenna standing there with a Security officer and a skimmer, “Legate Elim Garak, you’re <em>under arrest</em> by order of the Castellan,” Galenna spoke in a stern voice. “You’re being charged with spousal neglect.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Is that why my comm went dead?” Elim asked in a confused voice. “Chief O’Brien and…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna sighed, “He should be getting a visit by New Lakaria authorities right about now because the Castellan arrested him for a breach of probation,” she replied firmly. “I’ve been <em>ordered</em> to escort you to the Ministry of Justice and <em>detain</em> you. Are you going to come quietly?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Stunned silent, Elim came outside without an argument and boarded the skimmer after he closed the house because the Bashirs had codes they could use to get inside. The ride to the Ministry of Justice was quiet and Elim found himself wondering why exactly he had been arrested.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Instead of leading Elim to a cell like she did other detainees, Galenna led him over to a bench in a room usually used for interrogations, “Your husband told Castellan that you suffer from acute claustrophobia, so you’ll be detained here,” Galenna explained. “Do you need to be cuffed?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m <em>not </em>planning on running,” Elim replied quietly. “<em>Why</em> am I being charged, though?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna scoffed as she produced a PADD from her pocket, “Castellan said you are guilty of spousal neglect according to evidence he has received,” she explained firmly. “He’s asked for you to be held here until he can come speak to you about it. I’m obliged to follow orders.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Why am I being detained when <em>Julian</em> is the one who’s missing?” Elim asked in a confused voice. “I was up very late last night and when I woke this morning, Julian was gone.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna, however, promptly left the room and Elim scoffed before closing his eyes to rest, meditate, and figure out why he was there. What seemed like an eternity later, the door slid open and Elim opened his eyes just in time to see Galenna lead Chief O’Brien into the room.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Take a seat on the bench opposite Legate Garak and <em>do not</em> fight,” Galenna spoke sternly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles obeyed, a frown on his face, “You two are going to have a private hearing to address your crimes once the Castellan arrives,” Galenna spoke firmly. “Are there any questions?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Where’s Julian?” Elim and Miles asked at the same time before staring at each other in shock.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna sighed, “He is <em>safe</em>,” she replied patiently. “That’s <em>all</em> you need to know until the Castellan arrives. You two may talk, but <em>do not</em> fight or I will put you on timed silence.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Giving the two a warning look, Galenna left the room and locked the door behind her. Miles, who was still shellshocked about his arrest and his family’s reaction to it, looked at Elim.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I get I may have breached probation by how I acted, but what are <em>you</em> doing here?” Miles asked in a confused voice, frowning at him. “Are you here to make sure I behave myself?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, “I’m facing charges of <em>spousal neglect</em>,” he replied numbly, realizing that his anger towards Miles over Julian’s situation had been the cause of his arrest that day. “And I’m <em>guilty</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles’s eyes widened and Elim sighed weakly as he silently gazed at the floor, deep in thought.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…Have you eaten? It won’t take much to set more plates and I have plenty of food.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Warmth filled Julian’s body as he woke and suddenly realized that there was a pillow behind his back and a quilt over his body, “I about died when the Castellan commed us and said Julian was found <em>wandering around alone</em> in the cold,” Julian heard his father say anxiously. “Elim’s been a <em>right prat</em> lately, though, and I <em>don’t blame</em> Julian for wanting to get away for a bit…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“He’s <em>not strong</em> enough, though,” Julian heard his mother say worriedly. “My <em>sweet</em> boy.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing weakly, Julian sat up and froze when he came face to face with Deanna, “Oh, hello,” he spoke in a groggy voice, sighing. “Does Doctor Parmak know that you’re here?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna nodded and joined Julian on the couch, “Doctor Parmak contacted the Castellan while you were resting and the Castellan asked me to come make sure you’re okay emotionally,” she explained calmly. “The Castellan ordered your husband and Chief O’Brien <em>arrested</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Wh..what?” Julian asked in a quiet, concerned voice. “Why…<span class="u">why</span> were they arrested?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna sighed, “The Castellan’s way of teaching them both a lesson for how they’ve been treating you,” she explained. “Doctor Parmak mentioned you haven’t been feeling well?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>No,</em>” Julian admitted softly, frowning. “Their fighting…I <em>can’t</em> take hearing it all the time and I’ve not been able to eat or sleep properly since everything began. I <em>didn’t</em> want them <em>arrested</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna looked thoughtful as Kelas came into the living room, “Are you hungry, Doctor Julian?” Kelas asked kindly, offering a smile. “I didn’t want to take you from sleep you needed.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You had Elim and Miles <em>arrested</em>?” Julian asked softly, frowning. “It wasn’t necessary.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas sighed, “It <em>was</em> because they were disregarding your health and your needs in favor of what they expected of you,” he explained in a concerned voice. “I ran a small scan on you with my hand scanner while you were sleeping and your health is in a precarious place right now.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, as he too had run scans on himself during Elim and Miles’s little <em>cold war</em> and knew he was on the verge of getting sick again, “The Castellan also contacted your parents and they’re here if you want to see them,” Kelas spoke softly. “I also have food ready for you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I…I <em>don’t know</em> what I want,” Julian admitted quietly, sighing. “Some <em>quiet</em>, for one thing.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas nodded, “I’ll fix you a plate,” he spoke gently. “You just <em>stay there</em> and <em>relax</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Once Julian and Deanna were alone again, Julian looked at Deanna, “I <em>can’t</em> be what Elim wants and I <em>definitely can’t</em> do what Miles expects,” he spoke softly. “I <em>know</em> the Castellan wants you to help me remember, but I’ve tried to make myself and it <em>hasn’t</em> worked. I’ve <em>really</em> tried.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna looked concerned, “I <em>love</em> Elim, but I <em>don’t</em> love what I’ve made him become because I’m <em>incapable</em> of taking care of myself,” Julian admitted sadly, his expression somber. “It took me a <em>long time</em> to recover from the kidnapping and Elim helped me, but I <em>never</em> thought I’d end up almost completely reliant on him again such a short time later. I’m <em>angry</em> with myself.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You needing a hysterectomy and suffering complications and the stroke was <em>not</em> your fault,” Deanna replied in a concerned, firm voice, frowning. “<em>None</em> of this is your fault.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian shrugged, but didn’t offer a reply because he wasn’t sure if that was true or not. Deanna could likewise sense the conflict in his mind and she could also feel his anxiety rising because she knew his mind wasn’t capable of thinking it through at the moment without distress.</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Breakfast,” Kelas spoke in an anxious voice as he suddenly came into the living room with a tray that was bearing a light amount of nutritious food and drink. “Please enjoy it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Julian could argue, Kelas set the tray on the table, “Commander Troi-Riker, is there anything I can get you?” Kelas asked softly. “As I said, I do have plenty of food.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m fasting today,” Deanna replied softly, sighing. “It’s what I usually do at the end of a course of fertility medication. I fast and say Betazoid prayers in hopes that the medicine will work.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian looked surprised, “I can eat elsewhere if you don’t wish to be bothered,” he offered.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It’s all right,” Deanna replied reassuringly, offering him a gentle smile. “Perhaps my helping you will add some power to my fast and it will be successful this time. Please eat.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian ate, but he found himself fascinated by Deanna’s desire to help him even though she was going through her own struggles, “I never knew you were having such struggles,” he spoke between bites. “Here I am, angry at myself for being a broken Carrier and not thinking…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You have a <em>right</em> to feel angry about the situation, but not at yourself,” Deanna explained in a patient voice. “This situation is very much beyond your control and it’s caused you great suffering. You’re angry that you can’t be what you expect of yourself and what your husband expects of you. I think this all stems back to your want of children and your inability…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed as he finished his meal, “When we married, Elim spoke so much of wanting a family and <em>wanting a chance</em> to prove he was a good role model,” he spoke softly. “I…I knew I was a Carrier since I was a teenager, but I <em>never</em> intended to have a child because I didn’t want them being what I was before I was modified. Elim had done <em>so much</em> to take care of me after finding me, though, that I felt like I needed to give him what he desired the most…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Tears filled Julian’s eyes, “I <em>never </em>felt well when we were trying for a child,” he admitted softly. “The entire experience was <em>so painful and traumatizing</em>, but I wanted to make him happy. Each time we were intimate, Elim would always talk about how <em>beautiful</em> our offspring would look.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas gathered the dishes and excused himself to the kitchen, unaware that Julian’s parents were quietly listening in from there, “I love Elim very much and I’m <em>very</em> frustrated about everything,” Julian spoke in a quiet, tired voice. “And now I’m a <em>mess</em> and Elim’s in <em>jail</em>, but I’m <em>not inclined</em> to get him out right away because the way he’s been acting has been <em>hard</em> on me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Marriage involves <em>two people</em>,” Deanna spoke calmly. “You seem to have been <em>very</em> good about seeing to Elim’s needs and wants, but <em>what about yours</em>? You lost yourself in trying to make him happy and it’s obviously taken a toll. Did you ever tell him how painful trying to conceive was for you? I can understand why you didn’t want a child, but were you ever able to tell him?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian shook his head and sighed tiredly, the discussion quickly wearing him down to the point where he just wanted to rest some more. Deanna could sense that he was tired, but wasn’t wanting to be perceived as rude or inconsiderate by saying anything. She gave him an encouraging look.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Just then, Richard and Amsha came into the room after talking quietly with each other and Kelas about what they had heard, “Julian, my son, why don’t we go home?” Richard suggested kindly, wanting to desperately ease Julian’s stress and grief by allowing him space to rest in quiet.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Oh</em>, about that, I tried to shell some peas this morning and made a <em>mess in the kitchen</em>,” Julian spoke softly. "It's <em>still</em> messy."</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard simply smiled encouragingly, as he knew Julian was only trying to show that he was still strong enough to be a productive member of his family and society, and Julian slowly got to his feet as Kelas returned to the living room, “Thank you for your hospitality, Doctor Parmak,” he spoke quietly. “I’m going to head home.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas nodded, noticing that Julian said nothing about wanting to rush to the Ministry of Justice and ask about Elim’s release, “Just take it as easy as possible so you don’t end up sick,” he warned in a concerned voice. “Eat regular meals, drink lots of fluids and just relax.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Julian found himself surprised when his parents helped him walk outside. He was unaware that Deanna and Kelas had followed them out and were watching them go. Once the Bashirs were out of sight, Kelas and Deanna talked for a few moments before Kelas closed up the house and walked off down the street in the direction of the Ministry of Justice with her.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>To the surprise of Deanna and Kelas, Castellan Marratt was lingering in the public area of the Ministry of Justice and looked to be in no hurry. He smiled calmly at the two of them.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Castellan, I’ve just been to visit Doctor Bashir-Garak and he was in the care of Doctor Parmak as you said,” Deanna spoke softly. “Doctor Bashir-Garak’s parents also showed up…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt nodded, “I keep open contact with them because they are new to Cardassia and their son is a protected citizen,” he replied calmly, his expression concerned. “I told them Julian had made his way to Doctor Parmak’s and they wanted to make sure their son was all right.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Well, Legate Garak and Chief O’Brien are quite safe and behaving themselves,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a calm voice. “I’m letting them squirm as long as possible before I go and speak to them, but perhaps you two would like to have your say first? How is the doctor doing?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas suddenly looked concerned, “I’m <em>concerned</em> that Legate Garak and Chief O’Brien’s fighting is sending Doctor Julian towards <em>another</em> health crisis,” he admitted in a worried voice. “I ran scans on Doctor Julian while he was at my place and his readings weren’t good, but I could not force him to the hospital against his will because he was perfectly lucid.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Suddenly sensing something was amiss, Deanna silently left the Ministry of Justice without a word, “Now <em>what’s</em> got her upset?” Castellan Marratt spoke in a confused voice, frowning.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas shrugged and Castellan Marratt silently made his way down the corridor to the interrogation area alone. He assumed a stern facial expression before entering the room and giving both Elim and Miles a stern look, “It’s <em>nice</em> to see you two haven’t killed each other,” he spoke in a stern voice. “Seeing as you’re <em>both trying to kill</em> Julian, though, I wasn’t <em>sure</em> what I’d find when I came in here. Legate Garak’s always been a <em>fighter</em> and you’re a <em>war veteran</em>….”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim and Miles both looked stunned, “Castellan, <em>what</em> are you talking about?!” Elim finally asked in an annoyed voice. “I’m <em>not</em> trying to kill Julian. I’m <em>protecting</em> him from this…!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“According to those who reported you for spousal neglect, you’ve spent the last little while fighting with Miles O’Brien and not caring how it might affect your husband’s health,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a stern voice as he pulled a device out of his pocket that served as a tablet and communicator. “That’s <em>firm grounds</em> for a charge of spousal neglect, Legate. I am also <em>very disappointed</em> in Chief O’Brien because, Miles, I <em>thought</em> you really were <em>serious</em> about wanting to leave your past hate towards Cardassians behind? I’ve been <em>very gracious</em> towards you…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A beep suddenly filled the room, “<em>Castellan, this is Commander Troi-Riker</em>,” Deanna’s frantic voice spoke. “<em>I reached the marketplace just in time to see Doctor Bashir-Garak collapse and have a violent seizure in front of his parents and many Cardassians</em>….”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s eyes widened in shock, but he didn’t dare move from his seat because the Castellan had not given him permission to move. Miles, however, looked concerned enough to stand up.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The commlink suddenly went dead, “Castellan, Julian is <em>my husband</em> and…” Elim began firmly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You are both still being <em>detained</em>, so I <em>suggest</em> you both <em>sit down and behave yourselves</em> or I’ll have you moved to the mines for a minimum of 48 hours hard labor,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a stern voice as he tapped a few buttons on his tablet. “Doctor Dastra, this is the Castellan…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A sigh filled the air, “<em>I’m in the marketplace now</em>," Galen’s voice replied in an anxious tone.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Find out what happened, get Doctor Bashir-Garak to the hospital, and I’ll be there shortly,” Castellan Marratt ordered in a stern voice. “I have some official business to tend to first.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Without waiting for a reply, Castellan Marratt put his tablet back into his pocket and gave the two males a look, “See what your <em>petty arrogance</em> and need to fight has caused?” he asked in a stern voice, his expression unusually angry. “Cardassia is <em>very much</em> about <em>family</em> and <em>unity</em>, but I’ve seen none of that from either of you. Tell me, Legate, <em>why</em> did you marry Julian?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Because I <em>loved</em> him,” Elim replied in a quiet, pained voice. “I <em>still love</em> him…<em>my Julian</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt sighed, “Love only survives if <em>continued investment</em> is made in it,” he spoke in a firm voice. “Tell me, Chief O’Brien. Will Julian <em>still </em>be your friend even if he chooses to not absolve you of your crime and makes you take punishment by both Cardassia and Starfleet?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned, but found himself nodding, “<em>Yes</em>,” he replied in a firm voice. “I know I hurt…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Then <em>stop pressuring him</em> to make the decision you want him to make and give him the encouragement to make the decision <em>he</em> <em>feels comfortable with</em> making,” Castellan Marratt spoke sternly, unwilling to hear excuses or petty ramblings. “I personally <em>don’t care</em> if you ever talk to each other again after our little meeting, but this <em>petty feud</em> of yours goes <em>no further</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Pursing his lips, Castellan Marratt left the room, “I’m <em>sorry</em>,” Miles apologized softly. “I was so worried about what might happen to me and my family both in 2376 and now that I didn’t think about how all of this is affecting Julian. You mentioned that he can’t remember anything of it?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“He <em>cannot</em>,” Elim replied in a somber voice, sighing. “I’m <em>not sure</em> what exactly happened to him during the three weeks he was a prisoner, but even <em>talking</em> about the experience distresses him greatly, so we simply don’t do it. He <em>stil</em>l suffers from aftereffects of it to this day, but we’re doing the best we can to make the best of everything. Hearing your role in it <em>did not</em> help him…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed, “I didn’t <em>want </em>to do it, but if I didn’t, someone else would have and they <em>would have</em> killed him,” he replied quietly. “I <em>didn’t know</em> you’d find him, but I figured someone here would and they’d take care of him. Starfleet’s changed for the <em>worse</em> since the war ended.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The door suddenly slid open again and the Castellan entered the room with Galenna, “I’ve spoken with Officer Dastra and <em>she thinks</em> I should <em>simply</em> let you both go <em>with a warning</em>, but what do you think?” Castellan Marratt spoke in a stern voice. “Should I really create declarations of forgiveness and absolution for both of you? If I do that, <em>how</em> will you remember to behave?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim and Miles exchanged a look as Galenna reached into her pockets and pulled out several PADDs, “I want to create <em>private behavior agreements</em> for you two and they will stay between everyone involved in this situation,” Castellan Marratt spoke firmly. “They will be in effect from now until the Xhosa and Titan arrive for Gul Marak’s trial and to see Chief O’Brien.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna handed Miles and Elim the PADD’s and Castellan Marratt seated himself on a bench near the door, “Both of you write out what behaviors you think you need to improve on and what steps you are both willing to take so that history doesn’t repeat itself,” he spoke in a stern voice. “We will read the contracts here and then everyone involved will read and sign the agreements.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles quickly began filling out the PADD, but Elim paused because he didn’t know if he was worthy of being forgiven. The Cardassian knew he had mirrored Tain and Julian didn’t deserve that at all, “Is something wrong, Legate Garak?” Castellan Maratt asked in a stern voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No, I’m just thinking about Enabran Tain and <em>how much</em> I’ve been acting like him lately,” Elim found himself saying in a tone that reflected regret. “I’m <em>not sure</em> if you <em>know</em> who he was…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt sighed and exchanged a look with Galenna, “<em>Everyone</em> knew who that piece of filth was and I’m <em>not inclined to disagree</em> with you, but you have the <em>power</em> to change your behavior to stop mirroring his,” he replied firmly. “Commander Troi-Riker will be here for a few more weeks and I <em>think it might be beneficial</em> for <em>both </em>of you to have sessions with her. Each of you should meet with her individually and as a group with Julian <em>if</em> he is up for it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A heavy sigh escaped Elim’s lips as he nodded and hoped that Julian <em>could and would</em> forgive.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Changing Tides</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <strong>
    <span>Three Days Later</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The Central Hospital was quiet, but Elim preferred it because it allowed him to block out all other thoughts as he sat at Julian’s bedside. Castellan Marratt had warned him to be mindful of his behavior and to be the husband he had promised Julian he would be back when they had exchanged marital vows. Elim was being mindful of it and was now reading to Julian in hopes that it would stir the man. Richard and Amsha were at the house currently, but would come by later in the day. Elim alone spent his nights at Julian’s side, hoping that Julian would soon wake.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s gaze was fixed firmly on the tablet that he held with one hand while the other was holding Julian’s tightly. As Kardasi phrases escaped Elim’s lips, he suddenly felt a faint squeeze.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Hope filled Elim’s soul and he looked up from the novel just in time to see Julian, who was wearing a respiratory device along with hospital clothes, dripfeeds, and a warm blanket, open his eyes. Julian’s gaze immediately locked on Elim and he tried to speak, but found he couldn’t.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It’s <em>all right</em>, my dear,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice. “You’re in the hospital. You had a seizure.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned and Elim sighed, not noticing that Galen had come into the room with the intent of giving Elim a message. Galen, however, immediately stopped when he saw Julian awake and waited only a moment before going over to the bed because he had two jobs to do.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, the Castellan wishes to see you,” Galen spoke in a reluctant voice. “It’s urgent.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, “He’ll <em>have</em> to come to me,” he replied indignantly. “I’m <em>not</em> leaving…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Oh, Castellan Marratt understands that,” Galen replied calmly. “He’s waiting in the courtyard.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scowled and looked apologetically at Julian, “I’m <em>sorry</em>, my dear,” he spoke softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed sleepily and closed his eyes again, prompting Elim to kiss his hand before releasing it and standing up. Galen gave him a look, but Elim left the room with his eyes on the floor.</span>
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</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The air was cold and made Elim shiver as he entered the courtyard and saw Castellan Marratt sitting alone near a ledge that looked out over the nearby market area. The Castellan was wearing a gold tunic, dark pants, his glasses, and a cloak that was lined with golden weavings.</span>
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</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Galen said you wished to speak with me, Castellan?” Elim asked in a cautious voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Maratt nodded and patted the seat beside him, “Please sit,” he spoke in a quiet voice, a sigh in his tone that Elim hadn’t heard before. “I wish to discuss an important matter with you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sat and Castellan Marratt sighed, “I don’t know if you’ve seen the news lately, but the civil disturbances across Cardassia Prime have been ongoing since the riot at the Central Prison,” Castellan </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Marratt stated quietly. “People have lost faith in my ability to lead and they have called for an election to take place. Once I am not Castellan anymore, I <em>do not</em> intend to remain here because I <em>cannot</em> be around people who do not trust me. Myrina wishes to revisit Bajor and my place is with my wife even if I do not know her world. I want <em>you</em> to run for the office, Elim.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s eyes widened in shock, “I knew of the civil unrest, but <em>why</em> do you want <em>me</em> to run for your office?” he replied in a stunned voice, his expression stunned. “I’m <em>much less</em> popular…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You’re <em>capable</em> of making a <em>difference,</em>” Castellan Marratt replied in a firm voice. “I’m <em>not</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim frowned, “Castellan, I <em>must</em> admit that my desire to serve the state has <em>diminished</em> greatly because of Julian’s illness,” he admitted softly. “The whole debacle with Chief O’Brien has taught me that I’m <em>stretching myself</em> too thin and I <em>need </em>to reassess what is <em>truly</em> important.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A serious expression filled Castellan Marratt’s face, “Those citizens protected under my rule may not have continued safety once I am no longer in power,” he stated firmly. “You’re a Cardassian who is married to a <em>Human</em> and I also have <em>another Human family</em> under my protection….”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You’re <em>implying</em> that <em>you</em> are the <em>reason</em> Julian and the O’Briens have been reasonably safe here,” Elim realized in a concerned voice, frowning. “Is the same true for Myrina as well?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt sighed heavily, “The incident at the dinner party made me realize how much so many want to cling to the old ways even if it’s not possible to do,” he replied solemnly. “Those who share the beliefs and opinions of Gul Marak are many, but they dared not speak against me until the prison riot. The fact that I did not give my life to stop the escape has created chaos.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Dread filled Elim’s heart, “So if someone supporting Gul Marak’s position on how Cardassia should function is elected Castellan, Julian and the O’Briens might be in <em>danger</em>?” he asked.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“That is <em>exactly</em> what I am saying,” Castellan Marratt replied firmly, his expression serious.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, “<em>When</em> is the election going to be?” he asked in a resigned voice, deeply worried.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I am not yet certain,” Castellan Marratt replied in a worried tone. “I have to arrange a meeting with all pertinent authorities to arrange that. They, however, are busy dealing with the civil unrest and it’s only going to get worse. Between Starfleet coming for Chief O’Brien and Gul Marak…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim swallowed hard, “I will <em>consider</em> running for Castellan,” he replied firmly. “All right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Castellan Marratt slowly stood and limped back inside the warmth of the hospital, as he had physical therapy and didn’t wish to be late. Elim, however, remained outside and gazed at the street below with an anxious expression on his face. He <em>couldn’t</em> imagine being Castellan.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
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<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Doctor Bashir-Garak?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed weakly as he opened his eyes and found Galen lingering at his bedside, “Oh, Doctor Dastra, I was just <em>resting</em> my eyes,” he spoke apologetically. “Elim said I had a <em>seizure</em> and I can’t remember it. The last thing I remember was walking in the marketplace…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It’s been <em>three days</em> since you fell in the marketplace,” Galen replied patiently. “I ran a scan and you not being able to remember the seizure is normal. Besides the seizure, how are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A tired expression crossed Julian’s face, “I’m <em>tired</em> of Elim and Miles fighting and expecting me to take their side,” he admitted in a quiet voice. “Elim <em>was</em> here…so I assume he was <em>released</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Oh, he <em>was</em>,” Galen replied calmly, sighing before taking a seat on the stool beside the bed. “I should tell you that the Nepenthe serum is helping you, but not as quickly as I expected it to. I want to increase your dosage to twice a week and I want you to get doing some therapies.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned, “Wouldn’t <em>work</em> of some kind be a good therapy?” he asked tiredly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen scoffed, “You’ve had a stroke, neural shock, complications from a hysterectomy, and a seizure due to stress and all you can think about is <em>going back to work</em>?” he replied in a concerned voice, frowning. “On top of that, you <em>never</em> fully recovered from the kidnapping…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’ve still got <em>two good hands</em>,” Julian replied weakly. “Even if I can’t walk well, I can…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen suddenly looked very serious, “Doctor, you <em>simply can’t</em> expect to get better fast and go back to what you were before the surgery,” he spoke in a firm voice, cutting Julian off. “It’s unrealistic to believe that you can. I do believe that you will eventually get there, but it won’t be right away and you won’t be the same as you once were. Besides, Cardassia…is <em>changing</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned, “<em>Changing</em>?” he asked softly, frowning. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Since the prison riot and the destruction of Deep Space Nine, civil unrest has increased planet-wide,” Galen explained in a quiet voice, sighing. “Galenna and her officers have been working overtime to deal with the chaos, but it’s continuing with no end in sight. There’s also talk that an <em>election</em> will be called sometime during the cold season because people can’t trust Castellan…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian slowly sat up even though he was still very tired, “And once Castellan Marratt is out of office, what happens to those under his protection?” he asked softly. “I…will it be safe for…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>wish</em> I knew,” Galen replied in a regretful tone, sighing. “Things on Cardassia are <em>regressing</em> back to when Uncle Skrain was in power here. He adopted me as his nephew not long after his family left him because he needed a male heir and my home environment was <em>unpleasant</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned, compassion in his eyes, “If you ever wish to talk about it…” he began softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Oh, I am <em>sick</em> of everyone trying to tell me to go see Commander Troi-Riker,” Galen spat, a scoff in his voice. “Even <em>Kelas</em> has jumped on that bandwagon and I have <em>no</em> desire…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, “I was going to say that if you wanted to talk to me about it, I’m capable of listening even if I can’t do much else,” he spoke in a groggy voice. “I’m just not as pretty…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen’s eyes widened and he smirked before sighing, “The Dastra clan was very much <em>dysfunctional </em>and only got away with it because my father served under Gul Dukat,” he explained in a somber voice. “I…I was abused <em>quite badly</em> and found refuge in learning.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A sadness filled Julian’s eyes, but he said nothing, “The way Cardassia is turning is reminding me of the past and it’s <em>quite traumatic</em>,” Galen confessed softly. “I usually talk to Galenna about the past, as she is a <em>very </em>good listener, but she hasn’t been home in three days and I <em>worry</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Is there anything I can do?” Julian asked in a groggy voice. “There must be <em>something</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen looked amused, “Simply <em>listening</em> to me eased my stress immensely,” he replied in a calmer voice, sighing. “You seem to be looking a lot better. Do you want me to find Elim?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian suddenly found himself contemplating <em>something else</em> he could do in his crippled state; he could <em>forgive</em> Miles and let him go do whatever he wished. If Cardassia was indeed <em>changing</em>, Julian reasoned, he could give Miles and his family the <em>opportunity</em> to go somewhere <em>safer</em>.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No, I was wondering if you could help me find a tablet?” Julian asked groggily as Elim came into the room after spending time calming himself in the courtyard. “I want to write.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim gave Julian a look, as did Galen, “I’m going to write a Declaration of Absolution so Miles can leave Cardassia a free man if he wishes,” Julian explained in a groggy voice, his expression resigned. “And I’m going to give <em>you</em> the option of whether or not you want to stay with me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My dear, I <em>did</em> promise that in our wedding vows,” Elim replied, giving Julian a worried look.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian scoffed, “Doctor Dastra told me there might be an <em>election</em> and if a new Castellan is elected, it might look <em>bad</em> for you to be with me,” he replied shakily, suddenly groaning as a headache and nausea came at him full force. “Cardassia is your <em>home</em> and you…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim speedwalked over to the bed and immediately climbed in next to Julian, gently pulling him back, “My <em>home</em> is with <em>you</em>,” he spoke softly, alarmed by how much his husband was trembling. “My dear, you need something to eat and drink and then you need to have a long rest.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’ll fetch something from the canteen,” Galen replied. “Just take deep breaths, Doctor Bashir.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian exhaled and closed his eyes as Elim gently held him, “Castellan wants me to run in the election to preserve our future, but there is <em>no </em>future for me without you and I would rather have you than be here if I <em>have</em> to choose,” Elim spoke soothingly. “I’m intend to <em>decline</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I still want Miles to be able to go if he wants to,” Julian spoke sleepily, exhaustion quickly overtaking him as he lay cuddled against Elim. “I <em>don’t </em>have the <em>strength</em> to hate him.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, his expression filling with sadness as Galen returned with a tray of food, “My dear, we can talk about Chief O’Brien <em>later</em>,” he spoke softly. “Galen’s brought you some food.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian exhaled, “Would you help me with it?” he asked shakily. “I don’t think I can…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen set the tray on the table near the bed as Kelas suddenly rushed into the room looking frantic, “Galen, you’re needed on-site at the Central Prison,” Kelas spoke in a concerned voice. “A repair crew was trying to fix the damage caused by the riot and they were ambushed.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Galen left the room and Julian sighed, “I <em>wish</em> I could go,” he spoke softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Even if you <em>were</em> well, I wouldn’t send you to an environment like that because of what happened in the past,” Kelas spoke calmly. “After you were kidnapped from the field hospital, I made it a <em>policy</em> to keep you firmly at secure places that actually had competent security.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, “I <em>remember</em>,” he spoke weakly, managing to look at Kelas. “I’m <em>frustrated</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas nodded, “I would be too if I was recovering from multiple conditions and had to deal with all the <em>drama</em> your husband and alleged best friend put you through recently,” he replied in a kind, compassionate voice. “I think, though, the Castellan has them on a contract now.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian gave Elim a look before turning his attention to the tray of food, “Elim <em>didn’t</em> tell me he got put on a <em>behavior contract</em>,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “I used to make my patients sign them after I treated them, but I <em>never thought</em> the Castellan had the power to put Elim on one.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Oh</em>, Chief O’Brien is <em>also</em> on one,” Elim spoke nervously, sighing. “We behaved <em>horribly</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A distressed expression filled Julian’s face as he began to eat, “I <em>don’t</em> have <em>any</em> patience left for apologies or excuses, Elim,” he spoke in a quiet, tense voice. “Show me through your <em>actions</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim’s eyes widened and he simply stared at Julian, speechless. Julian, meanwhile, made short work of the food and laid back down because he was spent. Kelas gave Elim a look and Elim silently joined Julian in the bed. As Kelas left the room, the two fell asleep in silence.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It wasn’t until noon that Julian woke and he was pleasantly surprised to see that Elim had stayed with him. The Cardassian was fast asleep and Julian had no intention of waking him even though he had to use the restroom. Sighing, Julian shakily got out of bed and sighed; he felt energized enough to go for a short walk and maybe take in some of the fresh air of the planet’s cold season.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian leaned heavily on his dripline pole as he left the room and moved down the hallway towards the lift so he could go to the courtyard. His parents hadn’t obviously come yet, but he wasn’t concerned because he knew they didn’t know what to make of everything going on and probably needed space to process. No matter, he reasoned to himself, they would come.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The lift ride down to the main floor was quiet, but noise filled the air as Julian made his way into the main area of the hospital, “…We were <em>ambushed</em> and half the repair crew was killed on site, but I was able to get to Officer Dastra quickly,” Julian heard Miles say in an anxious voice. “It’s <em>chaos</em> over there and there’s a lot more injured, but I don’t think I could get back safely…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Frowning, Julian made his way towards the voices and was stunned to see Kelas standing in the trauma bay with Miles, who was bruised, dirty, and bleeding with a bloody towel in hand. Galen, meanwhile, was sitting beside a bed where an unconscious, bleeding Galenna lay.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>What happened</em>?” Julian asked in a groggy voice, frowning. “I was out on a walk…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles looked at Julian worriedly, but Kelas looked relieved and motioned for Julian to come over to the bed. Julian could see that Galen’s eyes were glazed over and his expression was lifeless.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>need</em> your help if you’re feeling up to it,” Kelas spoke quietly. “If you’re <em>not</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed and quickly turned his attention to the bed controls, “I can handle it,” he replied in a quiet voice, his expression serious because he was determined to help Galen and Galenna even if it took all of his energy. “I just need something other to wear than these pajamas…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kelas quickly retrieved a Cardassian medical uniform from a nearby closet and Julian quickly changed, but left the dripfeed in, “I have to go over to the prison for the rest of the wounded, so <em>please</em> do your best with Galenna and then examine Chief O’Brien,” Kelas instructed softly, his expression filled with dread because he didn’t <em>want </em>to go to the prison, but he had <em>no</em> choice. “If Galen comes to, have <em>him</em> examine Chief O’Brien. I want you to focus on Galenna, please.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and Kelas hurried from the room, “I <em>didn’t know</em> you were on any work crew,” he spoke in a quiet voice, his eyes on the console as he ran a diagnostic scan. “I <em>thought</em> you…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It’s one of the <em>conditions</em> of the behavior contract,” Miles explained in a groggy voice. “After Garak and I were arrested, the Castellan put us on contracts and this was part of mine. My family and I are staying with the Castellan and his wife right now so I can get to and from work easier.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing, Julian eyed the readings, “Grab me an emergency surgical kit from the supply shelf,” he ordered.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles quickly complied and he watched in astonishment as Julian proceeded to set up the surgical frame while using a hand sterilizer to clean the surgical tools. Galen suddenly came to at the noise and he frowned at Julian quizzically, but didn’t stop him or even speak to him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…You…aren’t you supposed to be <em>resting</em>?” Elim heard a voice ask as he hurried off the lift in the middle of the afternoon after waking and finding Julian out of bed. “You <em>look</em> tired.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim moved towards the voice and was stunned to see Julian sitting beside a biobed, silently doing surgery on an unconscious Galenna while Galen and a patched up Miles watched. Julian looked deathly pale and like he could use a good rest, but he was also deep in concentration and seemed to be using every bit of his energy to operate the controls. Elim cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian, <em>what</em> are you doing?” Elim asked as he entered the room. “You look <em>exhausted</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, but didn’t look up from his work, “There was an attack on a work crew at the Central Prison and Officer Dastra was hit in the head,” he replied quietly. “I’m removing a hematoma and saving her life. Doctor Parmak went to the prison and he’s not back yet…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Kelas Parmak</em> went to the prison?!” Elim replied in a stunned voice. “To the <em>prison</em>?!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen sighed tiredly, “<em>That’s</em> what I’ve been told,” he replied in a subdued voice. “How is she?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“She’ll be <em>fine</em>,” Julian replied in a monotone voice without looking up. “I’m almost done.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned, “Julian, you’re starting to <em>shake</em>,” he observed worriedly. “How do you feel?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian, however, remained silent as he finished his work and only when he was done, he let out a sigh, “Now, I don’t care <em>what</em> Kelas said; I can take over from here,” Galen spoke in a stern voice, getting to his feet without hesitation. “You should go rest. Thank you for your help.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Julian silently got up, “Elim, did my parents ever come?” he asked in a quiet voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“When I woke up, I found a message from your parents that they stayed at the house because the news was discussing the unrest in the city and they were worried about getting caught up in it,” Elim explained in a concerned voice, frowning. “Did you want to go call them from your room?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian shook his head, “I’d honestly rather go home,” he spoke softly. “I’m well enough, I think.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen gave him a look, “If you <em>must</em> go, take the transporter in the Intake area,” he replied softly, his attention quickly snapping back to Galenna. “I’ll tell Kelas that you decided to go home.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You need your bear, don’t you?” Elim asked quietly. “I didn’t bring him. I’m sorry…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian shrugged as he slowly made his way out to the Intake area and over to the transporter, his body trembling with exhaustion, “I can send the two of you home,” Miles offered, having followed Julian there with Elim at his heels. “Julian, are you sure you’re all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m <em>very </em>tired, but I <em>need</em> to be at home,” Julian replied softly. “Elim, please help me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded, “Of <em>course </em>I will, my dear,” he promised softly. “Come, take my hand.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles lingered by the console, watching quietly as Elim helped Julian on to the pad, “Chief O’Brien, you might not be able to make it back to your family until the mess at the prison is cleaned up,” Elim spoke in a cautious voice. “You’re <em>welcome</em> to stay at our home.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A nervous expression crossed Miles’s face, but he found himself seriously considering the offer.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The smell of cooking greeted Julian as he materialized in his and Elim’s living room being supported by Elim and Miles, “Mum, Dad?” Julian called out in a tired voice. “We’re home.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>You</em>, my dear, are having a rest on the couch,” Elim spoke firmly. “Chief O’Brien, <em>can you</em>…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles nodded and helped Elim get Julian over to the couch. Elim quickly put pillows underneath Julian’s back and then retreated to the bedroom to fetch Kukulaka and a blanket for his husband.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A concerned look was on Richard Bashir’s face as he came into the living room and indeed saw Julian was there, “Julian, you’re <em>supposed</em> to be at the hospital,” he spoke in a worried tone.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I wasn’t supposed to be operating on a friend either, but I did that and now I’m exhausted,” Julian admitted in a sleepy voice, closing his eyes to rest. “I decided to come home to be safe.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim quickly returned to the living room with Kukulaka and a blanket and proceeded to make Julian comfortable on the couch, “Castellan may impose another lockdown if the unrest continues,” he spoke in a concerned voice. “The other authorities must be besides themselves…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Do you think that things might get worse once the Titan and Xhosa arrive?” Miles asked in a confused, concerned voice. “If I’m arrested, maybe I’ll send Keiko and the kids to Bajor…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim gave Miles a look, “I <em>need</em> some <em>help</em> checking the backyard security systems,” he spoke in a grim voice. “Richard, would you mind sitting with Julian while we check the backyard?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard nodded and Elim led Miles outside, offering a nod to Amsha as they went. Miles immediately knew that something was up, as Elim was acting unusually subdued and quiet.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Chief O’Brien, the Castellan spoke to me privately today and said that the citizens are calling for an election because of the prison riot,” Elim spoke in a solemn voice. “You and your family may not be safe here once Castellan Marratt is out of power. That also applies to other non-Cardassians. It seems there are some who are trying to resurrect the old ways…all of them.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned, “So you and Julian might also be in trouble?” he asked in a concerned voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The Castellan wants me to run and I don’t want to, but I cannot only think of myself,” Elim spoke in a concerned, solemn voice as he looked at Miles. “My being in power would keep Julian, your family, and others safe. On the other hand, it would distract me from caring for my husband and maintaining our marriage. I find myself at an <em>impasse</em> in clearly changing tides.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>For a moment, Miles was silent before appearing thoughtful, “<em>Perhaps</em> you should talk to Commander Troi-Riker about all of this,” he replied. “Maybe an outside opinion would help.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“That might be something worth doing,” Elim admitted. “After I talk to Julian, of course. He knows there will be an election, but he does not know I was asked to run. I’d ask you not to say anything…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles nodded, “I’m simply a <em>guest,</em>” he replied in a concerned voice. “It’s <em>not</em> my place to say anything.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You are Julian’s <em>friend </em>and I daresay, you are mine as well,” Elim spoke quietly, sighing. “I do appreciate the hospitality you and your family showed us when we were in need. I apologize for my part in our fight.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles looked surprised, but nodded silently because he knew Elim wouldn’t want an overly emotional display in return. Elim offered a small smile before making his way back into the house and to the couch where Julian was now asleep. The Cardassian sat and lifted Julian’s feet into his lap, prompting Julian to wake and eye his husband groggily, “My dear, I <em>need</em> to be <em>completely </em>honest,” he spoke gently.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Let me <em>guess</em>, the Castellan said he wishes you to run in the election,” Julian spoke in a groggy voice, his tired expression filled with a slight hint of amusement. “You <em>did </em>tell me that already and I <em>think</em> you should do whatever makes you happy. You’ve taken <em>such good care</em> of me lately…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed wearily, “And I will <em>continue,</em>” he replied firmly. “I will carry on because I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, I also think you should talk to an outside party <em>before</em> you decide anything,” Julian spoke softly, his expression tired. “I <em>know</em> you hate therapists, but Commander Troi-Riker might be…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“You <em>may be</em> right,” Elim replied in a resigned tone, a quiet sigh escaping his lips. “I’ll contact her in a few days.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Prelude to Mayhem</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <strong>
    <span>One Week Later</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <strong>
    <span>Cardassia</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It was early, but Julian had gotten up and dressed without any help that day, allowing his parents and Elim to sleep in. He had made a light breakfast for the entire house, ate his portion, and then stood outside to wait for the skimmer that would take him to the Castellan’s for his meeting.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“My dear, you <em>promised</em> to wake me,” Julian suddenly heard a voice speak in his ear as he stood outside, gazing down the road. “I said I wanted to talk to you <em>before</em> you went to your meeting.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, turning to see that Elim had come outside wearing a robe over his sleep clothes, “I’m going to turn the Declaration of Absolution in and you can’t talk me out of it,” Julian replied in a patient voice. “I <em>can’t</em> get Miles out of trouble with Starfleet, but I <em>can</em> let <em>this</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Have you <em>actually</em> forgiven him, though?” Elim asked softly, frowning. “You <em>never did</em> say.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A sadness filled Julian’s eyes, “Does it <em>matter</em>?” he asked softly. “I don’t have it in me to hate.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Of course</em> it matters,” Elim replied firmly, his expression worried. “If you’re <em>not</em> ready to…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The skimmer suddenly came down the street and Julian gently kissed Elim’s cheek, “Enjoy your chat with Commander Troi-Riker today,” he spoke as if he hadn’t heard Elim. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I love you too,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice, returning the kiss. “I’ll meet you for lunch.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian gave him a look, as he didn’t think Elim’s session with the Commander would be done so soon, but he nodded and simply boarded the parked skimmer, “Castellan’s estate,” he ordered.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A heavy feeling of unease filled Elim as he watched the skimmer take off with Julian on board.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Freighter Xhosa to Port of Cardassia, we are coming in for a landing,” Kasidy Yates-Sisko spoke in an official voice as she sat at a console. “Starfleet requested we arrive early."</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Silence filled the air, “What’s the hold up?” Captain Drammell asked in a stern voice as he came on to the Bridge wearing a crisp, clean uniform whilst sporting a stern expression.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kasidy sighed anxiously, her expression anxious because the man was intimidating and had been a less than gracious guest on board, “…<em>We weren’t expecting you for a week</em>,” a voice responded in a concerned tone. “<em>If you give me a few moments, I’ll clear this with Security</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain, why don’t you go prepare Gul Marak?” Kasidy suggested, eager to get the man off of her Bridge. “Security should be there already. I can handle communicating with the port.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Scoffing, Captain Drammell glared at Kasidy before leaving the Bridge and making his way to the Brig. To his surprise, no Security officer was standing next to the cell where Gul Marak was being held and the room was only dimly lit even though it was early in the morning Cardassian time. The Cardassian was looking rather annoyed, but didn’t offer any words.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Are you ready to face your doom, you <em>disgusting</em> Cardie?” Captain Drammell asked harshly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Gul Marak merely smirked, “You <em>don’t</em> hate <em>me</em>,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “You <em>hate</em> Bashir.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“It <em>doesn’t matter</em> what I think,” Captain Drammell spat coldly. “I have my <em>orders</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Gul Marak’s smile grew, “Yet, you <em>insisted</em> on coming <em>early</em> and told Captain Yates that the Castellan had <em>asked</em> you to come early in the name of diplomacy,” he replied in a cool voice. “I <em>know</em> you were <em>lying</em>, but I don’t know <em>why</em>. Perhaps you’re <em>angry</em> about the attack?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>know</em> you were in on it,” Captain Drammell growled. “<em>Why</em> did you do it?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Gul Marak smirked<em>, </em>“<em>Julian Bashir,</em>” he replied in a smug voice. “His existence pains me. How is it that an <em>illegal Augment</em> is allowed to have free run of the universe without consequences?!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Drammell frowned, as he had <em>tried</em> to kill Bashir in 2376 within the bowels of Deep Space Nine and had failed. Admiral Ross had unofficially allowed it because Starfleet detested Doctor Bashir’s existence and had declared him Khan-like after he and Miles O’Brien had murdered Luther Sloan on Deep Space Nine. Nobody else knew that, however…</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Captain Drammell, we don’t have clearance and Cardassia wants us to come back in a week</em>,” Kasidy’s voice filled the air. “<em>Can you please come up here and explain why you</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Rage filled Captain Drammell’s heart, “You seem upset,” Gul Marak mocked. “It must <em>absolutely kill you</em> that Doctor Bashir is walking around <em>free</em> while you’re <em>stuck</em> up here.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A scowl filled Captain Drammell’s face and he marched over to the comms, “Land at the port,” he ordered in a stern voice. “I will <em>explain</em> things to the Castellan myself.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>I don’t take orders from Starfleet</em>!” Kasidy replied sternly. “<em>You better come explain yourself</em>!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Gul Marak looked amused, “Did you know that the Xhosa’s being monitored?” he asked softly, looking like a cat who ate a canary whole. “The terrorists who destroyed Deep Space Nine were all rescued and carted off to Bajor with the rest of the evacuees. They got a ship there from Lady Myrina’s <em>brother</em>, who is <em>alive and angry</em> that his sister married a <em>Cardassian</em>. That ship is called the <em>Trelane </em>and it could come here in quite a hurry if I thought it might be needed…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Drammell looked surprised, “You can’t expect me to <em>believe</em> that the <em>brother</em> of the Castellan’s wife is a <em>terrorist</em>,” he snipped irritably. “That’s utterly <em>preposterous.</em>”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Smirking, Gul Marak reached into his pocket and pulled out a strange looking communicator, “I’ve been communicating with them using <em>this</em>,” he replied smugly. “The Xhosa’s security has been <em>quite lax</em> and that <em>brat</em> of Captain Yates’s does look in on me once in a while and bring me food, but the ship has no personnel to spare for the <em>mundane</em> task of babysitting me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Drammell frowned, “What’s your goal in telling me all this?” he asked softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“To simply warn you of what is to come and give you the <em>opportunity</em> to make Cardassia aware of what <em>could</em> happen and make it clear how much <em>power</em> I have that you <em>clearly don’t</em>,” Gul Marak hissed in a cold voice, eyeing the man. “Cardassia is a <em>doomed</em> world because it’s living under ideals that <em>aren’t</em> going to work. <em>Doctor Bashir</em> brought those ideals with him…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Drammell sighed as the intercom beeped again, “<em>Captain Drammell</em>?” a voice said.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain Yates, <em>what</em> is it?” Captain Drammell asked crossly, tapping the intercom again. </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Gul Marak smirked and pressed a button on the object in his hand. Suddenly, he vanished.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain Yates, Gul Marak just <em>beamed</em> out of the Brig!” Captain Drammell exclaimed, his expression aghast because he wondered where the Cardassian had gone and why.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The walk from the skimmer to the Castellan’s foyer seemed very long and Julian found himself needing to sit down by the time he got inside. Etiquette, however, demanded that he stand at attention and wait for the Castellan to come and give him instruction before he did anything.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Julian stood there, Lady Myrina suddenly came out of the dining room with a sentry at her side, “Oh, Doctor Julian,” Lady Myrina spoke warmly. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“As well as can be expected, Lady Marratt,” Julian replied respectively, offering a bow.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lady Myrina looked amused, “No <em>need </em>to bow to <em>me</em>,” she replied calmly. “I know it’s Cardassian etiquette, but I am just as foreign to this land as you are. We are equals in that we came here for the ones we loved and made lives here. Now, tell me the <em>truth</em>. How are you?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I could really benefit from sitting down,” Julian replied with a sigh. “The walk was a <em>lot.</em>”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lady Myrina nodded and looped her arm through Julian’s, “Come sit in the visiting room with me,” she said in a concerned voice. “I’m waiting for Commander Troi-Riker anyway.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian didn’t argue and inadvertently let out a sigh of relief as they sat on the couch in the visiting room together. Myrina smiled, but Julian suddenly felt tiredness creep up on him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m actually here to see Miles and the Castellan,” Julian spoke in a tired voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lady Myrina smiled, “It’s been so <em>pleasant</em> to have the O’Briens here and it’s giving me a chance to spend time with children,” she replied pleasantly. “<em>Perhaps</em> we’ll look into adoption someday, but we’re currently thinking about when to go to Bajor. As you know, there will be an election.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The Castellan was <em>taken hostage</em> and <em>hurt</em>,” Julian replied. “Doesn’t that <em>matter</em> to anyone?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lady Myrina sighed, her expression somber, “It <em>should</em>,” she replied simply. “In light of the prison riot, many Cardassian citizens are feeling as if the planet should return to the old systems and the old ways of doing things. The destruction of Deep Space Nine has increased that desire in many and many who survived the war think the Castellan <em>weak</em> for his non-traditionalism.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, his expression sad, “Then those whom he protects probably need to think of what their future here is,” he reasoned softly. “Elim told me that the Castellan wants <em>him</em> to run for office, but Elim is <em>very</em> reluctant. I <em>worry</em> that my struggles are making Elim forget <em>duty</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lady Myrina suddenly looked thoughtful, “Duty to Cardassia <em>includes</em> duty to <em>family</em>, Doctor,” she replied in a kind voice. “From what I’ve heard, you’ve been <em>quite</em> ill lately and you also <em>never fully recovered</em> from what happened to you in 2376. Perhaps your husband loves his duty and responsibility to you and your marriage <em>over</em> the duty he has to serve the state as a Legate.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>want</em> Elim to run for Castellan if he wishes,” Julian said softly. “I’ll stay out of his way.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A scoff filled the air, “A good Castellan <em>does not</em> strive to lead the people of Cardassia <em>alone</em>,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a stern, but thoughtful voice as he entered the visiting room. “The spouse of the Castellan also shoulders the burden and if Elim runs, you will be involved.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim’s <em>so talented</em> and he’s <em>wasting</em> it on <em>me</em>,” Julian found himself saying sadly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt scowled, “You are <em>not</em> a waste,” he replied firmly. “You are <em>valued</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I could <em>barely</em> do surgery on Officer Dastra…” Julian spoke in an anguished voice. “I used to be able to work <em>long hours</em> without breaking a sweat and now…I can barely do <em>one</em> surgery.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt looked amused, “You went back to work <em>too quickly</em> after you came back to Cardassia following the kidnapping and you had <em>seizures</em> at work,” he spoke calmly. “Doctor Parmak noticed them, as did Doctor Dastra. They told me about them and we all wanted to <em>protect</em> your dignity, so I had them <em>shadow </em>you and <em>adjust your duties</em> when one happened.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A stunned expression crossed Julian’s face and Castellan Marratt sighed, “Things in that regard have improved since your hysterectomy,” the Castellan explained. “The neural shock and the stroke, however, made things difficult. As did the fighting between Elim and Chief O’Brien.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, as he couldn’t deny it, “Speaking of Chief O’Brien, where is he?” he asked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the tablet. “I wrote the Declaration of Absolution.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt took it and signed it, “He’s with his family right now,” he explained in a patient, but concerned voice. “Just before you got here, the Port of Cardassia commed me and said the Xhosa is attempting to land. They have Captain Drammell and Gul Marak on board.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned, “It’s <em>too early</em> for them to be here,” he replied in a worried voice. “<em>Why</em>…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Castellan, this is the Port of Cardassia</em>,” a voice stated. “<em>The Xhosa wishes to speak with you.</em>”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Scoffing irritably, Castellan Marratt marched over to the computer and clicked it on, shocked when he saw Captain Drammell and Kasidy, “<em>Gul Marak beamed out of the Xhosa’s Brig using some sort of device that he also used to communicate with the same individuals who destroyed Deep Space Nine</em>,” Captain Drammell explained in a serious voice, his expression somber. “<em>Gul Marak claimed that he is allied with a ship run by Lady Myrina’s brother.”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lady Myrina looked stunned and concerned, “My brother was <em>quite angry</em> when I married you, Malko, as was the rest of my family,” she spoke in a worried voice. “I’m scared for Cardassia.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Does Starfleet want to try and take custody of Miles earlier than expected?” Julian asked in a concerned voice, frowning at the screen. “I’ve absolved him of what he did for you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt moved aside and Captain Drammell scowled at Julian, “<em>You</em>!” Captain Drammell exclaimed, shocked and angry to see Julian alive and well. “I <em>can’t</em> believe…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Excuse me, have we met before?” Julian asked in a confused voice, frowning at him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Drammell scowled, “Hello <em>again</em>, Captain,” a dark, familiar voice suddenly said.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian turned to see Miles standing behind him holding a mug of steaming liquid, “<em>Ah, my failure of a courier!”</em> Captain Drammell exclaimed coldly. “<em>So…you actually did it! You ignored orders to save this pathetic excuse of an Augment from dying! Starfleet’s going to have fun roasting you alive for disobeying orders! I hope you enjoy prison because that’s….!”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian’s my <em>friend</em>, not a waste of life,” Miles growled, not caring he was interrupting.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kasidy looked horrified at what she had just heard, “<em>We’ll withdraw for now, Castellan, but we will be back when it is time to court-martial Chief O’Brien</em>,” Captain Drammell spoke in a cold, almost mocking voice. “<em>I’ll also be telling Starfleet about this little encounter, Doctor</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…<em>Someone’s beamed down to the planet!”</em> a voice suddenly yelled. “<em>Identified as Jake Sisko.”</em></span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Kasidy frowned, but the feed was suddenly cut and Julian frowned, “Jake?” Miles said softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt quickly moved over to the console and tapped in a few commands, “I’ll send a Security detail to collect him from the Port,” he spoke anxiously. “Sisko…sounds familiar.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“His father is the Bajoran Emissary who disappeared right after the war ended,” Lady Myrina spoke in a concerned voice, frowning as she stood up. “Malko, Galen and Galenna are expecting me and I do believe Legate Garak will be nearby. I can check in on him while I’m in the area.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt nodded and Lady Myrina looked at Julian worriedly, “Are you okay?” she asked softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian, however, said nothing because he realized that Captain Drammell was <em>indeed</em> the man who had tortured him on Deep Space Nine and who had ordered Miles to dump him somewhere to die. His eyes remained fixed on the blank vid-screen and his body felt numb. Lady Myrina gently touched his shoulder and Julian blinked, sighing before he looked at her, pained.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m…I’m not sure,” Julian managed to say softly. “I just <em>saw</em> the man who <em>nearly killed</em> me and I <em>don’t</em> remember even meeting him. I don’t even remember very much of what happened…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed, “I <em>remember</em> it and I can tell you <em>whatever</em> you want to know,” he replied softly even though he didn’t want to talk about it. “Did you want something to drink or to rest?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Perhaps a <em>rest</em>,” Julian replied quietly, sighing tiredly. “I wonder if the skimmer is still…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt scoffed, “You can rest in one of the guest quarters,” he replied, deeply concerned that this encounter would lead to another stroke. “Myrina, when you’re at the hospital, let Galen or Kelas know what’s happened and see if one of them can come check on Doctor Julian. Also let Commander Troi-Riker know that she’s needed here after she talks to Elim.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Nodding, Myrina gave Julian a concerned look, “If you need me to <em>stay</em>…” she began softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“We’ll be all right,” Castellan Marratt spoke softly as he extended a hand to Julian. “Doctor…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian silently accepted the hand and allowed himself to be helped up, sighing as Miles and Castellan Marratt silently led him through the large estate to the corridor where all of the quarters were. Lwaxana Troi was sitting in the common area on a vid-feed and frowned at seeing Julian being led by the Castellan and Miles. She <em>wanted</em> to speak, but sensed it wasn’t the right time.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’ll go have my culinary staff make you something,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a soothing voice, shifting Julian to Miles. “Chief O’Brien, if you could sit with him while he rests…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles nodded and gently escorted Julian into the guest quarters, not letting go until Julian was laying in bed. As much as he wanted to thank Miles for his help, Julian found himself quickly surrendering to sleep due to the warmth and comfort that the guest bed was providing him.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard and Amsha had offered to come with him for the counseling appointment, Elim reflected as he entered the Central Hospital, but he had declined citing a need for privacy. The two had understood and had planned to simply stay home that day, their excuse being that they weren’t used to the cold. Elim knew <em>better</em>; they were <em>worried</em> and didn’t want to end up in danger.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Truth be told, Elim was also worried and he wondered if his running for the office of Castellan would <em>actually</em> make a difference or if Cardassia was indeed doomed. Elim was so preoccupied with worry that he almost didn’t see Deanna sitting with Galen in the Intake area. Galen was dressed for work, but he looked tired and Elim sensed that he had barely left the hospital since Galenna’s surgery. It was hardly surprising, however, as Galen loved Galenna very much.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Well, if it isn’t Future Castellan Elim Bashir-Garak,” Galen suddenly said, spotting Elim.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, but didn’t comment because Galen looked amused, “Kelas <em>forced</em> me to take a break from Galenna’s bedside,” Galen explained with a sigh. “I saw the Commander here…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“And how is Galenna?” Elim asked quietly, frowning. “I haven’t been by to see her, I know…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen scoffed, “I haven’t let anyone visit her because she needs her rest,” he replied in a matter-of-fact voice. “The Castellan and his wife, however, have sent me food and things to do…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim nodded and Galen stood, “Well, I can tell you want to talk to the Commander yourself, so I am going for a walk to the market,” Galen spoke calmly. “Thank you for the chat, Commander.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna nodded and Galen left, “Commander,” Elim spoke in a nervous, quiet voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“How are you?” Deanna asked, allowing Elim to sit and make himself comfortable.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, “<em>Conflicted</em>,” he admitted. “Castellan wants me to run in the upcoming election and potentially become his successor, but I worry that my attention to duty will prevent me from giving Julian the attention he needs and wants. Julian, however, told me to talk to you about it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna nodded, “And what do <em>you</em> want to do?” she asked softly. “You <em>obviously</em> love Julian.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“If I run and win, I can <em>protect</em> him from the discrimination that those who survived the war often show him, but I <em>don’t</em> want to strain our marriage,” Elim replied in a distressed voice. “His parents are also living with us now and the O’Briens are living on the planet for now and…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna sighed, “When exactly is the election?” she asked softly. “Does this have to be decided today or can you take some time to think about it and talk it over with your husband and family?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim looked thoughtful, but he was prevented from replying by the arrival of Lady Myrina, “Lady Marratt,” he spoke, his focus distracted. “I trust you’re here to visit Galenna?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lady Myrina nodded, but her expression told Elim something more was going on, “Did something happen?” Elim asked in a concerned voice. “You look…is Julian all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The Xhosa tried to land on Cardassia early and Captain Drammell confessed to Julian’s face that <em>he </em>was the one who was responsible for the torture in 2376,” Lady Myrina explained. “The Castellan and Chief O’Brien put Julian in a room to rest, but it’s <em>obvious</em> that Julian is <em>upset</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim looked horrified, “<em>Julian</em>…” he spoke in a shaky voice. “Commander, I’m <em>sorry</em>, but we’ll have to have this conversation <em>another </em>day. My place is with my husband. He <em>needs</em> me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Deanna nodded, her expression understanding as Elim quickly left without looking back. She looked at Lady Myrina and decided to help her visit Galenna and offering counseling to her instead, as it was obvious that Julian and Elim simply needed <em>each other</em> for the moment.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A confused expression filled Miles’s face as he stepped out of the guest quarters where Julian was resting and saw the Castellan and Lwaxana talking with an anxious looking Jake Sisko and someone on the vid-screen in the common area. The tone of the conversation wasn’t pleasant.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…The Xhosa left after I beamed down, but they <em>will</em> be back and they plan to make a <em>big </em>example of Chief O’Brien,” Jake was saying in a concerned voice. “Captain Drammell is going to try and get him labelled someone dangerous enough to be imprisoned for the rest of his life. I beamed down to warn you all that the man is dangerous and is capable of doing <em>very</em> bad things.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles froze as Lwaxana scoffed, “…<em>I assure you, I will be in Chief O’Brien’s corner and am trying to get Starfleet to agree to less than a life sentence</em>,” the voice of Captain Riker replied.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>An uneasy feeling filled Miles’s heart and he quietly returned to the guest room before anyone noticed him there. Julian was still sound asleep and so Miles sat in a chair near the door. Miles’s heart was heavy and the worry of hard time and being away from his family was now occupying his mind and he didn’t want to stress Julian out more, so it was good that the man was asleep.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if I should go ask the Titan if they can take Keiko and the kids somewhere safe where they can be happy if I’m going to be sent to prison for the rest of my life? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Miles wondered, his expression somber as he pressed his ear against the wall to see if he could eavesdrop a little.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Several moments passed and the door suddenly opened, prompting Miles to pull himself from his thoughts. He was surprised to see an anxious looking Elim come into the room and stride over to the bed, sighing as he sat on the edge of the bed. Julian woke, but didn’t say anything or move.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Lady Myrina told me what happened and I <em>knew</em> you <em>needed</em> me,” Elim spoke in a soothing, gentle voice, gently stroking Julian’s face. “My appointment with the Commander can <em>wait</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned as Julian sighed sleepily, “I just want what’s <em>best</em> for you,” Julian said softly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>You</em> are what’s best for me,” Elim replied gently. “We <em>don’t</em> have to decide anything else right now.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, his exhaustion growing, “I <em>don’</em>t want to see Captain Drammell again, but I’m <em>scared</em> he’s going to come after me when he comes back,” he spoke in a groggy, quiet voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>won’t</em> let that happen, my dear,” Elim replied, his gaze fixed on Julian. “I <em>will</em> protect you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>Captain Drammell won’t have to come back at all if I have anything to say about it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Miles silently reasoned, a plan forming in his mind as he slipped out of the room and went off on his own to think...to form a plan of his own.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Burdens of Past and Present</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">
  <span>The days went forward reasonably uneventfully, but Jake found himself noticing Miles’s behavior becoming more unusual by the day. Miles would frequently have hushed conversations with Keiko late into the night, spend a good deal of time talking with Molly in the courtyard, and he also made a lot of calls off-world. Was Miles planning on going somewhere?</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Since the Xhosa’s unexpected arrival and quick departure, Jake had been under the protection of Castellan Marratt and he had noticed Miles’s odd behavior among many other things. He had also taken a good look at Cardassia; there was a clear divide between the citizens. There were those who clung to the old dogma and ways and there were those who wanted a new way.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>And he was kept plenty busy. The election was now set in stone, as Castellan Marratt had announced it formally and had accepted nominations for a brief time before closing them. Legates Elim Garak, Jinn Toral, Hasem Polak, and Yadik Folan were all running for the office of Castellan and were all very busy promoting themselves, their families, and their ideas about how they would continue to strengthen Cardassia. Since the election was now official, so was the gossip that came with the election. With the gossip, came a buildup in media frenzies.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Many reporters had been lost in the war, most of them executed by the Dominion for anti-Dominion journalism, but there were still students and others to get the news out there. Jake was also well-known and Elim made sure to get the boy involved simply because he knew it was of great importance to him. Because of Elim’s intervention, citizens all over the planet quickly came to know of Jake and everyone wanted to talk to the alien reporter and give their opinion about the upcoming election and the candidates who were running. </span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Despite being kept busy, however, Jake spent a lot of time at the Castellan’s manor in quiet meditation. He worried deeply about those closest to him and it was on an unusually cold morning that he was awake early and lounging in the common area when he heard the whispers.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…Are you sure I can’t come with you?” a soft voice asked. “You <em>shouldn’t</em> be alone.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Jake frowned, squinting as he saw two figures in the darkened corridor where the guest quarters were, “No, you can’t come with me,” a deeper voice said quietly. “I need to go alone.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Swallowing hard, Jake quietly moved into the shadows so he wouldn’t be seen. He was stunned when Miles came into view wearing tan-colored civilian clothing and looking very somber.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed and silently made his way off down the corridor to the main foyer. Jake silently slipped from the shadows and followed at a distance, frowning when he saw the former Operations Chief standing alone in the main foyer looking as if he were ready to cry.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Miles?” Jake asked softly as he stepped out of the shadows. “Are you okay? What are you…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>It was then that Jake noticed the packed duffel near the door, “Are you <em>leaving</em>?” he asked.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Yeah</em>,” Miles replied in a quiet voice frowning. “I’m going off planet and I’m</span>
  <span> going to turn myself in to Starfleet somewhere else so that Captain Drammell doesn’t need to come here.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Jake frowned, “<em>Why</em>?” he asked softly. “The Xhosa’s coming back to get me anyway…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain Drammell’s the one who <em>tortured</em> Julian and turned him over to <em>me</em>,” Miles spoke in a hushed voice, eyeing Jake nervously. “If <em>I</em> go meet <em>him</em>, he <em>won’t</em> try to hurt Julian again.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Jake suddenly felt his heart drop, “You <em>arranged </em>this,” he realized in a worried voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>did</em>,” Miles admitted quietly. “Lady Myrina <em>promised</em> to look after Keiko and the kids…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A throat cleared, “I <em>know</em>,” a voice said as Castellan Marratt suddenly came into view from another corridor wearing his daywear. “<em>Really</em>, Chief O’Brien, did you think Myrina <em>wouldn’t</em> tell me what you were planning to do? My wife tells me <em>absolutely everything</em> that goes on.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Legally, you’ve got <em>no reason</em> to detain me,” Miles replied in a nervous voice. “Julian signed the Declaration of Absolution and so I’m free to leave Cardassia and deal with Starfleet.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, “Are you gonna tell Julian you’re leaving, Miles?” Jake asked softly, his expression worried. “He would want to know.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt sighed, “<em>That</em> is <em>very</em> true, but you have a <em>moral responsibility</em> to tell the one who absolved you that you’re leaving and why,” he spoke calmly. “He <em>forgave</em> you, after all…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Because he was <em>expected</em> to,” Miles spat coldly. “<em>Not</em> because he wanted to. Julian <em>hates</em> me…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt scoffed, “Talk to him or I’ll <em>cancel</em> your travel permit,” he ordered firmly. “I authorize <em>all</em> travel to and from Cardassia and so I <em>knew</em> you were planning this little stunt.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed, “All right, I’ll go over to his and Garak’s,” he acquiesced. “Without the bag.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Jake, go with him to make sure he <em>does</em>,” Castellan Marratt spoke calmly. “Order a skimmer.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Miles and Jake turned their attention to ordering a skimmer, Castellan Marratt silently made his way into the dining area. It was then he could hear and smell cooking going on and he knew that Lady Myrina was awake and making meals or had ordered the staff to make a meal.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing, he wandered into the kitchen and was surprised to find both cooking and canning going on, “Ah, Malko, good morning,” Myrina spoke in a calm voice. “You’re up early.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Castellan Marratt nodded and Myrina sighed, “I’m preparing things for the next Castellan as much as I can food-wise so he can focus on the people and not worry about meeting his needs,” she explained in a calm voice. “Depending on the outcome, where should we go after the election? I <em>know</em> I said we should go to Bajor, but with my brother possibly being <em>alive</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Perhaps the cottage where I grew up,” Castellan Marratt replied softly, embracing her from behind as he offered her an encouraging smile. “It still belongs to me and is quite safe.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Myrina nodded and sighed, “And what will <em>you</em> do once you’re no longer Castellan?” she asked in a quiet voice, enjoying being held by him. “I will still do my cultural work…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I will assist you as you have assisted me,” Castellan Marratt replied, giving her neck a kiss.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Myrina smiled and Castellan Marratt released her, “The Titan is coming today to collect Commander Troi-Riker and Ambassador Troi, but they won’t be here for a time,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a kind voice. “Can I help you with the canning or the cooking?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Always</em>,” Myrina replied, smiling as he moved to a different spot of counter to get to work.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The Dastra home was in a quieter section of the city, not far from the market, and so Julian and his parents hadn’t bothered ordering a skimmer. Julian hadn’t wanted to go to any trouble and his parents were more than willing to help him walk the distance, so they had walked there.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Even though it hadn’t been long since Galenna’s surgery, Galen had unexpectedly checked her out of the Central Hospital and was now caring for her at home. None had heard from the Dastras for days until last night when Kelas had suddenly gotten a short message from Galen requesting medicine for Galenna. Kelas had told him in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t send medicine without an exam and Galen had scoffed, cursed him out, and hung up.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Ever-patient, Kelas had contacted Julian and had explained his encounter with Galen, asking Julian if he would please go do a follow-up on Galenna since he did the surgery. Julian was initially stunned and concerned to hear that Galen had removed Galenna from the hospital without a reason, but Kelas had promised he would investigate after Galenna was checked on.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian had quickly agreed to look into the matter and his concern level was high as he stepped up to the door and knocked. He didn’t hear any noise and truly wondered if everything was okay.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>As Julian turned to ask his parents what they should do, the door suddenly opened, “Ah, Elsa!” Richard exclaimed in a quiet, but kind voice. “Are your mati and pata here? We want to see them.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian turned back to the door and was stunned to see a young Cardassian girl, no older than six standing there wearing a simple dress with her dark hair hanging down past her shoulders. She smiled at seeing Richard and Amsha, but looked nervous at seeing Julian standing there.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Coral, who is at the door?” a voice suddenly called out as a slightly bigger Cardassian boy wearing tan clothes came into view. “Oh, Risshard and Amisha! Shall I tell Pata you are here?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Richard nodded, “Lenni, this is our son, Julian,” he spoke calmly. “Julian is here to see your mati.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lenni nodded, “Pata is with Mati right now,” he explained. “He is being a healer.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“And where are your brothers and sister?” Amsha asked. “Still asleep?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lenni nodded and eyed Julian, “Who are you?” he asked softly. “You look kind.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“This is our son, Julian,” Richard explained calmly. “He is a healer like your pata.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Lenni’s eyes widened, “Pata!” he called out. “There’s a healer here!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian suddenly heard quiet talking and then to his surprised, a tired looking Galen came down a hallway at the back of the house, “Doctor Dastra, hello,” he spoke politely. “Doctor Parmak…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Ah, you brought your <em>doctor’s kit</em>,” Galen sneered coldly. “By Kelas’s order, I assume?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sighed, “He said you <em>scoffed</em> and <em>swore</em> at him,” he replied softly. “That isn’t like you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Oh, that is <em>very much</em> like me, but why would you even care about any of that?” Galen asked in a cold voice, his expression tired. “You are the spouse of a <em>Legate</em> and I am the adopted heir of a disgraced Gul who died in dishonor. We are of different classes and your husband will probably ascend to the office of Castellan while providing for my family will fall solely to <em>me </em>now that the military council is trying to push for Galenna’s removal from office because of the attack.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian frowned, “I <em>helped</em> her, though,” he replied. “She…she <em>should</em> be getting better.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“If it weren’t for Chief O’Brien’s intervention, she would have <em>died</em> in that attack and the military council is questioning the leadership capabilities of a woman who cannot defend herself in the face of an attack,” Galen spat bitterly. “They even came so far as to visit her at the hospital and taunt me for staying with such a <em>weak</em> spouse. I fled with her during shift change…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Compassion filled Julian and he nodded, “And the children?” he asked. “I <em>thought</em> you couldn’t have children? You certainly implied it when we had that discussion.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I may have implied that we cannot <em>bear</em> children because of the war, but I never said we didn’t have them,” Galen replied calmly. “I came home at Uncle Skrain’s request and got married so I would have status. Children lost parents due to the Dominion’s actions and as ruthless as Uncle Skrain was, he <em>did</em> care about his heir and guided us in adopting orphaned children while he was still alive. We may not have a great deal of material things to give, but we can give love.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded and Galen sighed, “I suppose you won’t go away until I let you in to see Galenna, so do come in,” Galen spoke quietly, sighing before he looked at Elsa and Lenni. “<em>Why</em> are you two up so early? Erinne, Jamil, Tomas, and Jonn are all still sleeping. Are you hungry?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“No, I just wanted to hug you because you don’t sleep and cry all the time,” Lenni replied.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen sighed as Julian, Richard, and Amsha entered the house, “You’re as caring as the one we named you for,” he spoke softly, giving Lenni a hug. “Now, take Elsa and <em>go back to bed</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Aw, but Risshard and Amisha are here…” Lenni whined. “Can we stay up?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen rolled his eyes, “You may read to them <em>in your room</em>,” he replied softly. “<em>Go</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The two Cardassian children looked at Richard and Amsha hopefully and Richard and Amsha offered Julian an apologetic look before allowing themselves to be led away. Galen sighed.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“When we adopted the children, we re-named them and took them into the House of Dastra per Uncle Skrain’s instructions because they were orphans and they had no status,” Galen explained quietly. “Not that the House of Dastra is <em>noble</em>, but it is <em>better</em> than being an <em>orphan</em>. We didn’t get around to adopting some until <em>after</em> the war, but we knew the process, so it was quite easy.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, “Galen?” a quiet voice suddenly asked. “Galen, who are you talking to?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Confusion filled Julian’s face as Galenna came into view wearing a robe over pajamas and looking quite tired, “Oh, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” she spoke softly. “What brings you here?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>You</em>, actually,” Julian replied worriedly, eyeing her as she frowned. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna looked at Galen briefly before looking at Julian again, “I suppose you’re here because Galen broke me out of the hospital in the dead of night after supporters of the old-style military broke into my hospital room and tried to kill me for being un-Cardassian?” she asked softly. “I let a <em>Human</em> save my life when I should have been able to save my own. It <em>was</em> a <em>weak</em> moment.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>At that point, Galenna began to tremble and Galen quickly took hold of her and helped her to sit on the simply decorated living room couch while Julian watched, concerned, “Miles O’Brien was <em>quite</em> heroic and I am grateful for his intervention, as I do not wish to die before my children are grown,” Galenna spoke softly, leaning into Galen. “This injury, though, is <em>difficult</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Doctor Parmak said you needed some medicine?” Julian asked, planting himself on a stool so he was at eye-level with Galen and Galenna. “He asked me to bring my kit and do an exam.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna sighed, “I get headaches and I find tasks difficult, but my doctor husband says recovery will take time,” she spoke softly, gazing at Julian. “To be honest, I’m more worried about Galen than I am myself. If you have time, could you talk to him after you look me over?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>A concerned expression filled Julian’s face as he nodded, wondering what ailed Galen.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>He was running for the office of Castellan. He, Elim Garak…disgrace of the Obsidian Order, disgrace of Enabran Tain…he was running for the Office of Castellan…He was doing it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>If he won the election, it would come with power, the ability to help others, a better house, food, decent clothing, security, and all the things that he had longed for since he had nearly lost Julian years ago to Starfleet’s dark designs. He and Julian could live in peace…at least for a term.</span>
</p><p class="Standard"> </p><p class="Standard">
  <span>So, with all that said, <em>why</em> did the thought of running and possibly winning make him feel bad?</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian. His marriage to Julian and Julian’s uncertain health were his <em>first </em>priorities, but Julian had <em>insisted</em> that he run for office. Elim hadn’t failed to notice, however, that Julian was <em>struggling</em> in his recovery from the surgery, the neural trauma, and the stroke. Julian, however, hadn’t complained <em>once</em> about what Elim winning the election would mean for their quiet lives.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Despite his struggles, Julian was even talking about going back to work in a limited capacity and had even taken on a house-call to the Dastra residence at Kelas’s request. Just the day before yesterday, Julian had spent most of the day in bed suffering from tremors and a migraine. Elim truly worried that Julian was pushing himself so that he wouldn’t feel lonely, forgotten, or get bored if Elim happened to ascend to the office of Castellan<em>. </em>And Elim would <em>die</em> if he lost Julian.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian’s uncertain health and need to push himself weighed so heavily on Elim’s mind that he found himself sitting listlessly in his chair, brooding over a cup of red leaf instead of working on his campaign. The sound of knocking jerked him out of his thoughts quite suddenly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing morosely, Elim set the tea on the table and rose. He wondered if it was Jake or another reporter come to yet again pester him about his plans for Cardassia. To his surprise, Miles and Jake were the ones at the door, “Is Julian home?” Miles asked. “I need to talk to him.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian’s <em>working</em>,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice, his expression confused. “As am I.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles and Jake exchanged a look before Miles frowned, “<em>Working</em>?” Miles asked worriedly. “Didn’t he just spend yesterday in bed with a migraine and tremors? Now he’s <em>working</em>?!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The day before yesterday,” Elim corrected softly, sighing. “And Kelas asked him to go make a house call. Julian took his parents with him so that I could work in peace, but I’m <em>not</em> working.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed, “Did you know the Titan’s coming today?” he asked quietly. “I’m going to be <em>leaving</em> and turning myself in to Captain Drammell so that <em>idiot</em> doesn’t have to come back.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim looked as if he had been slapped, “So…instead of thanking Julian for his forgiveness and giving of your talents now that you’re free to, you’re going to <em>sneak off planet</em> like a <em>naughty child</em> <em>withou</em>t even telling him?” he asked in a cold voice. “Such a <em>coward</em> if I ever saw one.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian <em>didn’t</em> forgive me because he <em>wanted</em> to!” Miles snapped. “He felt <em>obligated</em> to!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, “Julian forgave you because it is <em>not</em> in his nature to hate others and want them to suffer even if they hurt him,” he replied in a quiet voice, scowling at Miles. “If you <em>want</em> to be an inconsiderate, moronic idiot and leave like a coward, that’s on you. Julian, however, <em>deserves</em> <em>better</em> than that. At least have the <em>common decency</em> to tell him you’re leaving…to <em>say goodbye</em> this time. The <em>last</em> time you left him on Cardassia, you didn’t exactly <em>say </em>goodbye…<em>did you</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles looked appalled, “I can’t exactly back out of the arrangement!” he replied anxiously.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Well, the Titan <em>will</em> be landing and Riker <em>will </em>visiting with the Castellan during their stay, so why don’t we just <em>comm the Castellan</em> and talk to<em> him</em> about the situation?” Elim suggested. “Since I’m not working, I have time and we can get it out of the way right now. <em>Do come in</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Realizing that he had just been outwitted by Garak, Miles rolled his eyes and entered the house without arguing. Jake looked amused and followed, intrigued by what he would learn.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I think your recovery is progressing on schedule and I think you can safely stay here,” Julian spoke, packing his medical kit up as he spoke to Galenna whilst sitting on the couch next to her and Galen after doing an exam on her. “I wouldn’t recommend cursing at Doctor Parmak…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen sighed, “I’m afraid the severe depression and anxiety that I suffered as a youth may be responsible for my behavior,” he admitted softly. “It recurs every so often and my family has been <em>very</em> supportive, as has Kelas, but I’m <em>ashamed</em> of it. It’s <em>very</em> un-Cardassian…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“That’s <em>your father</em> and <em>Gul Dukat</em> talking,” Galenna hissed. “<em>Forget</em> them. They <em>are</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen scoffed, “<em>Do not</em> speak ill of Uncle Skrain,” he replied firmly. “He was <em>good</em> to me…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“He brought us our family and put you through school, but he also reminded you to act <em>anything </em>but like yourself because the Dastra name was a <em>weak</em> one,” Galenna spoke firmly. “It’s <em>not</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen looked like he wanted to argue, but a noise suddenly filled the air, “Mati, Pata?” a soft, but deep suddenly spoke as a pre-teen Cardassian came into view wearing tan pajamas. “I…<em>hiss</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Jamil, <em>do not</em> hiss at non-Cardassians,” Galen spoke sternly. “As I have told you before, it is <em>rude</em> and I <em>do not care</em> if you were taught to do it. Apologize to Doctor Bashir-Garak <em>right now</em> and then go put a robe on. We have a <em>guest</em> and you <em>will</em> behave appropriately. Am I clear?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Jamil rolled his eyes and muttered something in Cardassian, but obeyed otherwise, “He is nearly 13 and certainly behaves accordingly,” Galen growled. “His birth parents were <em>very</em> racist towards non-Cardassians and they were also heavy Dominion supporters. Ironically, they were <em>executed</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galenna spoke softly to Galen in Cardassian and Galen exhaled deeply, “If you want someone to talk to about how you’re feeling, Doctor Dastra, perhaps we could sit outside?” Julian suggested, not wanting to intrude on the Dastra family any more than necessary. “Do you have a yard?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I have a <em>private office</em>,” Galen replied simply. “We can have a conversation in there.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen spoke in Kardasi with Galenna before kissing her and getting up, prompting Julian to also get up with his kit in hand. The two males walked off out of the visiting room and Galen led Julian into a nearby room that was small, but had a desk, two chairs, a small computer, several bookshelves filled with old books, and a miniature Astrometrics display crammed into it.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“The books I gathered during my time in the Interspecies Medical Exchange,” Galen explained as he sat behind his desk with a sigh. “Jamil, Erinne, and I built the furniture as a way to bond and I scavenged the other things from destroyed residences. As for my depression…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian sat in the other chair, “Are you <em>open</em> to medication for depression and anxiety or would you <em>prefer</em> counselling?” he asked softly. “I’m <em>qualified</em> to counsel, but I’m <em>not</em> very pretty.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen smirked, “I’d <em>prefer</em> counselling because my father was addicted to substances worse than the Jem’Hadar were,” he spoke softly, sighing. “Are you <em>sure</em> you’re up to helping me?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“If I wasn’t up to the task, I wouldn’t have offered,” Julian replied in a patient voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen sighed, giving Julian a once-over, “As long as it doesn’t hurt <em>your</em> recovery in any way, I’d be fine with you as my counselor,” he spoke calmly. “You look a <em>little</em> worn-down, though…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’m getting stronger every day and besides, I <em>need</em> to keep busy because Elim is preparing his campaign,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m not what I once was, but I can <em>still</em> be useful…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Galen could reply, the computer beeped and he peered at it, “Call from Bashir-Garak residence,” he spoke quietly, eyeing Julian. “<em>Surely</em> you told your husband you were here?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing irritably, Julian got up and went around the desk, fighting the urge to swear as he answered the call. To his shock, Elim and Miles were both on the screen.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim, I’m busy <em>working</em>,” Julian spoke softly. “What…<em>Miles</em>…what are you doing there?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles sighed, “<em>Julian, I’ve made arrangements with Captain Riker to go turn myself into Starfleet off-planet so that Captain Drammell doesn’t have to come back and be anywhere near you</em>,” he explained quietly. “<em>Garak made me call and tell you. I was just going to leave</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen looked appalled and Julian frowned, unsure of what to say, “Could…could we talk about this when I’m done work?” Julian finally asked in a concerned voice. “I’d <em>like</em> to.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim smirked at Miles before nodding at Julian, “<em>Of course we can, my dear</em>,” he replied softly. “<em>I’ll be escorting Chief O’Brien and young Mister Sisko back that way anyway and I can relay your request to Captain Riker</em>…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian suddenly paled at the mention of a Starfleet Captain, “<em>No</em>…Elim, it’s <em>not</em> necessary to trouble a Starfleet Captain with anything else concerning me,” he spoke in a nervous voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Swallowing hard, Julian moved away from the screen and leaned into one of the shelves to try and compose himself, vaguely aware that Galen was yelling at Elim in Kardasi. After a few moments, all was quiet and Julian suddenly felt Galen gently touching his shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Come into the living room and <em>rest</em> for a few moments,” Galen spoke calmly. “Come on.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian released the bookshelf and allowed himself to be led into the living room, exhaling when he saw that Galenna was gone from the room, “The mention of Captain Riker <em>obviously</em> triggered something in you,” Galen observed, sitting Julian on the couch. “Are you all right?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I…I just was thinking about the kidnapping,” Julian admitted softly. “I <em>was</em> triggered just now.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen nodded, “Well, my children will probably occupy your parents for some time with their reading,” he spoke softly. “Galenna’s most likely gone back to bed, which means<em> I</em> will be in charge of breakfast. Why don’t you lie down and rest for a bit? Allow yourself to relax?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Sighing, Julian silently laid down on the couch and closed his eyes, too worn down to argue.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain Riker, welcome to Cardassia,” Castellan Marratt spoke in a formal voice, standing tall as Captain Riker materialized in the estate courtyard after coming and requesting permission.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Riker smiled and nodded, “Thank you for having me and my crew as your guests, Castellan,” he replied in a kind voice. “I thought it <em>best </em>that I beam down alone first, though.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>do</em> find that <em>unusual</em>,” Castellan Marratt commented softly, frowning. “May I ask <em>why</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Captain Riker could reply, Lady Myrina came into the courtyard with Elim, Miles, and Jake. Jake immediately took a photo of Castellan Marratt and Captain Riker together.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Ah, Mister O’Brien, it’s <em>good</em> you’re here,” Captain Riker spoke quietly. “I <em>need</em> to talk to you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles frowned, “I…I have my things packed per our agreement, sir,” he replied nervously.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Riker sighed, his expression somber, “Starfleet’s actually asked that I conduct the disciplinary proceedings here and <em>alone</em>,” he explained in a quiet voice. “The destruction of Deep Space Nine has created chaos and they’re too busy reallocating all available resources to send anyone else here. Captain Drammell will <em>not</em> be joining me and so I want to do things my way.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Miles nodded, but said nothing, “I want to talk to Doctor Bashir-Garak and get his take on things,” Captain Riker spoke in a calm voice. “Legate Garak-Bashir, where might I find him?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain, with all due respect, that’s <em>not</em> going to be possible,” Miles cut in before Elim could speak. “Julian’s <em>not </em>up for a conversation like that and he especially <em>doesn’t want</em> to talk to <em>any </em>Captain from Starfleet. I’ll take <em>whatever</em> punishment Starfleet gives, but leave him out of it.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim looked shocked at Miles’s intervention, as did Castellan Marratt, but Captain Riker looked concerned, “What do you mean <em>he’s not up for it</em>?” Captain Riker asked in a quieter voice.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I’d <em>rather no</em>t be here if you are going to <em>gossip</em> about my husband,” Elim spoke in an annoyed voice, his expression resigned because he knew that they were going to talk about Julian whether or not he wanted them to do it. “Castellan, with your permission, I’d like to leave and go find Julian. He’s doing a house call, but I know where he is. I want to go check on him.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Captain Riker opened his mouth to speak, but Elim put a hand up to silence him, “<em>Do not</em> ask the question I think you are going to ask or I <em>will</em> deck you in the face,” Elim growled, his facial expression suddenly murderous. “Now, if you will excuse me, my husband awaits.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Without waiting for a reply, Elim silently stormed out of the courtyard in pursuit of Julian.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/>
<hr/><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…Pata, why does Doctor Bashir-Garak look so ill? He looked fine when he arrived.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…Jamil, there is an organization called Starfleet that hurt him very badly several years ago and they are visiting the planet now for another reason. He is afraid they will hurt him again…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>The smell of Cardassian food filled Julian’s nose and he opened his eyes, sighing heavily when he realized that he was still in Galen’s house. He slowly sat up and was stunned to see a blanket slip down his body, “Jamil saw you sleeping and thought you might be cold,” a voice said.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian turned to see Galen standing behind the couch with a shellshocked looking Jamil beside him, “I…I should really be going so your family can get on with their day,” Julian said quietly.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I have the day off,” Galen spoke quietly. “Kelas <em>advised </em>me to take time to…<em>collect myself</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, his expression lifeless, “The other children are awake and are enjoying breakfast with your parents while Galenna is eating hers in bed,” Galen explained. “Are you hungry?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Not really</em>,” Julian admitted softly, his tone tired. “I honestly should be heading home.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Before Galen or Jamil could reply, Julian slowly got to his feet and froze when he heard soft knocking. Galen frowned and quickly went to the door, as he wasn’t expecting anyone.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“…Is Julian still here?” Julian suddenly heard Elim ask. “I’ve come to check on him.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Galen led Elim into the house and Julian frowned as Elim came over to him, immediately embracing him, “What’s happened?” Julian asked in a worried voice. “Tell me.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Captain Riker wants to <em>talk</em> to you about Chief O’Brien, but I told him <em>no</em>,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice, gazing at him with a concerned expression. “You look terribly tired and pale.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian nodded, but said nothing and instead cuddled against Elim, “I <em>just</em> want to go <em>home</em>,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “I <em>don’t</em> want to be <em>anywhere near</em> Captain Riker. <em>Please</em>, Elim…<em>home</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“<em>Home</em> it is,” Elim spoke softly. “Galen, where are Julian’s parents? We should get going.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Anxiety got the better of Julian and he quickly pulled away, moving as quickly as his body would allow. He could hear people calling his name, but he kept his feet moving. Out of the house, into street, and towards the market that stood between and Elim’s comfortable home.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>His body ached and pricked in protest of his intense, lengthy strides, but Julian didn’t care.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Julian!”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Exhaling weakly, Julian stopped at the sound of his name and promptly threw up on the ground because he had well and truly overdone it. Tears filled his eyes; the mere <em>thought</em> of a Starfleet Captain being anywhere on Cardassian soil made him want to cry, collapse, and puke anywhere he thought he might get away with it. All the <em>progress</em> he had made since the kidnapping…</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Through the fog that had become his brain, Julian was vaguely aware of voices and his body being guided down the street. He felt an arm around him, but he didn’t feel in danger at all.</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…What exactly happened that you insisted we leave in the middle of breakfast?!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  <em>
    <span>“…If you’re still hungry, there’s food in the pantry. Go cook whatever you want! Excuse us!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian blinked and he suddenly felt himself being undressed. He suddenly saw his and Elim’s bedroom surrounding him, “Are we <em>home</em>?” he asked in a quiet voice. “I…<em>how</em> did we…?”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed, not saying anything as he dressed Julian in clean pajamas and his slipper boots, “We’re <em>home</em> and you’re going to lie down,” he spoke softly, gently stroking his face. “Captain Riker’s presence has put you in a <em>bad</em> way and I’m <em>going</em> to <em>make sure</em> you take it easy.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“He…he wants to <em>talk </em>to me.” Julian spoke shakily, tears filling his eyes. “I…I <em>can’t</em>…<em>torture</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim silently helped Julian to bed and tucked him in before joining him, securing Kukulaka in his husband’s arms, “He will <em>not</em>,” he spoke firmly, scowling. “I will <em>not</em> let him near you.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Julian cuddled close to Elim, but said nothing, “I <em>threatened</em> Riker in front of the Castellan,” Elim admitted, his expression serious. “I told Riker I would <em>deck him</em> in the face if he didn’t leave you be…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“Elim…that could <em>ruin</em> your candidacy,” Julian spoke in a worried voice, his expression worried. “It’s <em>bad enough</em> that the media takes shots at your past and how that kept us from being able to adopt children…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim scoffed, snaking his arm around Julian to keep him warm. “I could care <em>less</em>,” he snarled. “The <em>only</em> reason I bothered to run was because <em>you</em> encouraged me to. If Cardassia wants me to withdraw from the election, I’ll at least have you. I am still <em>quite</em> sad that we weren’t able to adopt and then you got sick…””</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“I <em>love</em> you,” Julian replied in a quiet voice, considerably calmer. “But you <em>need</em> to <em>apologize</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim sighed and responded by planting a kiss on Julian’s face, “<em>Oh</em>, I <em>love</em> your gentle nature,” he spoke in a resigned tone, calming as he gazed at his husband. “For your sake, I shall send an apology letter to the Castellan tomorrow. Today, however, I am going to lie with you and make sure you are well.”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>“To be <em>fair</em>, the damage I sustained in the kidnapping was a <em>bigger</em> reason we couldn’t adopt,” Julian spoke softly, gazing at him sadly. “You know it and I know it. I can <em>barely</em> manage myself sometimes…”</span>
</p><p class="Standard">
  
</p><p class="Standard">
  <span>Elim responded by kissing his forehead again and closing his eyes, prompting Julian to join him in sleep.</span>
</p>
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